12. BELLA
12
BELLA
I was still trying to process what had just happened when I boarded the yacht and made my way to my cabin.
Chris had asked me to be his date.
Me.
After everything that had happened between us—after I’d vowed to keep things professional and leave whatever we had behind—I’d still said yes.
Why had I said yes?
But I knew why. Because no matter how much Chris hurt me, the moment he asked me to be his, I would say yes. In whatever capacity that was. It was a little pathetic, actually. I just couldn’t stay away from him, couldn’t keep pushing him away. It didn’t seem to be in my bones, in my genetic makeup.
In my heart.
I sighed, leaning back on my bed when my phone buzzed in my hand. Gigi’s name popped up on the screen, and I swiped to answer, her face filling my screen as her familiar grin greeted me.
“There she is! The woman of the hour,” Gigi said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “So, you gonna tell me what the hell is going on, or do I have to pull it out of you?”
I’d sent her a text that summarized everything.
I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Oh, it’s nothing, really. Just… Chris asked me to be his date to some fancy gala tonight. And I had a lunch date with his toughest competitor. You know, all in a day’s work.”
Gigi’s eyes widened, her jaw dropping. “Wait, what ? Are you serious? Chris ‘I-don’t-do-commitment’ Blackwood asked you to be his date?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice a little more hesitant than I’d like. “I mean, it’s just a favor. He needed a plus-one, and I was there. Nothing more to it. You know how it is with Chris, anyway. It won’t be more than that. It’s not what he wants.”
Even though I wished it was.
Gigi gave me a skeptical look, raising one perfectly arched brow. Despite backpacking, roughing it in communes, or sleeping on people’s couches, she looked perfectly put together. Gigi always seemed to have things under control.
I wished I could say the same for me.
“Uh-huh, sure,” she said. “And you’re telling me you just said yes, even though you swore you were done with him?”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair before scrubbing it down my face. “I know, okay? I shouldn’t have. But honestly, Gigi, he looked so… lost. And it felt wrong to just leave him hanging. Besides, it’s not like it means anything. It’s just one night. I’m still just an employee and he’s still… Chris.”
“Mm-hmm.” Gigi’s expression shifted, her eyes narrowing. “Bella, you know I love you, right? But you’re playing with fire here. You’re gonna get burned, girl. You’ve done this before, so you can’t tell me you don’t know how it ends. Tears for you and he keeps going the way he’s going, without looking over his shoulder even once.”
I forced a smile, shrugging. “I can handle it. It’s just a gala. It’s not like I’m getting back together with him or anything. I’m not letting my heart get involved this time. It’s all business.”
Gigi shook her head. “Can you really keep your heart out of it with him?”
“Of course,” I said. Even though I wasn’t sure about that at all. It was one thing to say that I wouldn’t fall in love with him again . It was another to admit that I might not have fallen out of love with Chris Blackwood at all, and my heart was still in it. But I wasn’t going to say that out loud.
Gigi still looked skeptical. There was a beat of silence between us and it made me nervous. I knew she was right. I knew I was getting myself into trouble—that I was setting myself up for heartache, again. I just couldn’t help myself.
“Anyway,” Gigi said, her tone shifting to something lighter, “enough about that. Tell me about your little lunch date with the competitor. What’s that all about? I’ve never known you to be a spiteful person.”
I shook my head and rolled onto my side. “It’s not about spite. I just wanted to find out what he’s planning because he’s a lawless kind of guy, you know? And Chris seemed worried.”
“So, you’re doing this to help him?”
“Yeah,” I said.
Gigi nodded and it was tough to read the expression on her face.
“It’s not wrong of me to have lunch with someone,” I said defensively.
“I didn’t say it was,” Gigi said carefully.
“No. I just… I went to lunch with him. Eli Moretti, that’s his name.”
“He sounds like trouble.”
“You have no idea. He’s next level. I just wanted to figure out what was going on, so I pretended I’m just a tourist, since he doesn’t know I’m working on Chris’s boat. I wanted to find out something.”
“And?” Her eyes were at the bottom of her screen now, and she was focused.
“Honestly?” I hesitated. “He’s way more charming than I expected. It threw me off.”
“Okay, I looked him up,” Gigi said. “Jesus, the guy is loaded. But…” She frowned. “He’s got a trail of scandals and rumors behind him. It’s a pretty bad picture, Bella.”
“Yeah, I know he’s trying to bounce back from some scandal. That was what I heard. But he seems dead set on redeeming himself, no matter what it takes.”
“You think he suspects anything?” Gigi asked, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I mean, if you’re fishing for information and he finds out you’re working for Chris…”
“No, I don’t think so,” I said, shaking my head. “I think he just sees me as a harmless tourist. A conquest, in fact. And honestly, I’m hoping I can keep it that way.”
“Bella, I know you’re trying to help Chris, but this is dangerous. Eli isn’t someone to mess around with by the looks of things. He’s slimy, and he’s smart. I mean, you’re calling yourself a conquest. That sounds dangerous in every way possible.”
I shrugged. “I just want to be able to talk to someone, flirt with someone, without feeling like I belong to Chris.”
Gigi frowned. “That’s very different from trying to help him with his work. Why do you feel guilty about flirting with someone else? Chris can’t discard you and expect you to always be there for him. It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know,” I said softly. But now that I was around Chris, it felt like being with anyone else was a betrayal.
Maybe because I still loved him.
That was what all of this was about, after all. But if I still loved him, that made everything that much more complicated.
And it was a surefire way to get my heart ripped out, trampled on, shattered. Not just broken, the way it was before.
“Just… be careful, okay?” Gigi said as if she could read my mind. She looked worried. Maybe I had to be worried, too.
I nodded, forcing a smile. “I’ll be careful, I promise. Besides, I’m not doing anything too risky.”
That wasn’t exactly true, but whatever. I was already in too deep.
Gigi sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. You deserve better than this—than getting tangled up in all this drama, getting hurt…”
I smiled. The fact that she cared so much made me feel warm inside. “Thanks, Gigi. I’ll be fine. I can handle it.”
“You better,” she said, her tone teasing. “Now, enough of the serious talk. Let’s get to the fun part—what are you going to wear tonight?”
I glanced over at the small closet in my cabin, biting my lip. “Honestly, I have no idea. I mean, I’ve got a few dresses, but…”
“Show me,” Gigi said, her voice insistent. “C’mon, let’s see what you’ve got.”
I laughed, propping my phone up on the nearby table as I got up and opened the closet. Over the years working on yachts, I’d accumulated some pretty nice evening wear. Perks of working in high-end luxury—sometimes you had to blend in. I pulled out a couple of options, holding them up for Gigi to see.
“Alright, we have the black one with the slit,” I said, holding it up. “Classic, sexy, but maybe a little too predictable?”
Gigi tilted her head, considering it. “It’s nice, but yeah, maybe a little too safe .” She offered a wicked grin. “What else?”
I reached back into the closet, pulling out a deep ruby red dress, the fabric shimmering slightly as it caught the light. “What about this one? I haven’t worn it in a while, but I love the color.”
Gigi’s eyes lit up, a smile spreading across her face. “Oh, yes . That one. The color is perfect for you—it makes your eyes pop. And it’s different enough to make an impression.”
I grinned, nodding. “Alright, red it is. Daring, right?”
“Femme fatale,” Gigi added with a grin. “Now for shoes…”
I pulled out a pair of strappy gold heels, holding them up to the camera. “These?”
Gigi clapped, her smile widening. “Absolutely. Gold and red? You’re going to look like a goddess, Bella. Chris won’t know what hit him.”
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. “It’s just a favor, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t look fantastic while doing it. Let him know exactly what he’s missing out on.”
I laughed, the nervous tension in my chest easing slightly as we chatted about the rest of the look—hair down in loose waves or up in a fancy do, simple makeup with a bold red lip or smoldering eyes. And golden jewelry to match, of course. As we planned it all out, I could almost forget the reason behind it. Almost forget the complicated mess that was my relationship with Chris and just focus on feeling good about myself.
“You’re gonna kill it tonight, babe,” Gigi said, excited. “Just remember—you’re doing this for you . Not for him.”
I nodded. “Got it. Thanks for the chat, G. It’s always great having you by my side with all of this.”
“Anytime,” she said, winking at me. “Now go knock ’em dead.”
I ended the call, taking a deep breath as I looked at the dress hanging in front of me. Maybe Gigi was right. Maybe I was playing with fire. But tonight, I was going to walk into that gala with my head held high and worry about the rest tomorrow.
Tonight was all about enjoying myself.