24. BELLA
24
BELLA
T he café Gigi picked out was perfect. Quaint, cozy, and with just enough of that Monaco charm to make us feel like we were living the high life, even if just for an afternoon. The kind of place where the espresso was strong enough to knock you off your chair, but the croissants were worth every trembling sip. I grabbed a corner table, settling into the cushioned chair as Gigi made her way over, her face lighting up in a grin when she spotted me.
“Look at you,” she said, and I stood. We wrapped our arms around each other and held on tightly.
“God, it’s good to see you,” she breathed.
“You have no idea. I’m so glad you made it down here.”
“No way I’m not seeing you if we’re this close to each other!” Gigi said as she sat down, sliding her sunglasses up into her hair. “Besides, who’s going to say no to an evening in Monaco?” She giggled and leaned back in her chair, studying me.
“Monaco isn’t the same if it’s all work, no play,” I said.
“By the sounds of it, you’ve been mixing business with pleasure now, though.” She waggled her eyebrows at me, and I blushed wildly. “You’re practically glowing, Bells. Are you sure you’re not just a Blackwood groupie now?”
I rolled my eyes, trying to play it off. “Oh please, G. You know it’s all just work. I’m still head of staff, not Chris’s cheerleader.”
She arched an eyebrow, giving me a knowing look. “Uh-huh. And that little date to the gala? Totally just professional?”
I sighed, fiddling with my cup. “It was a favor, alright? He needed someone to go with, and I happened to be there.”
“Sure, sure,” Gigi said, her grin widening. But then her expression shifted, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studied me. “Something’s off, though. Spill.”
I bit my lip, glancing down at the frothy top of my cappuccino. I hadn’t planned on telling her everything. I mean, I knew what I was doing, right? No need to get advice or anything. But Gigi had this way of prying things out of me, like she was peeling away my defenses layer by layer and that was why I loved her so much as a friend.
There was no way in hell I could bottle anything up with her.
“I met with Eli again,” I admitted.
Gigi blinked, her expression changing to something between shock and concern. “Again? How does Chris feel about that?”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “I haven’t told him. Obviously.” I glanced up at Gigi, feeling ridiculously guilty. What did I have to feel guilty about? “I just… I needed to figure out what he’s up to. I think he’s trying to pull something over on Chris, and I’m trying to protect him. I told you.”
Gigi stared at me for a long moment, her brow furrowed. “Bells, you realize what you’re doing, right? You’re putting yourself right in the middle of this mess, and it’s not your problem to fix. And given everything with Chris… I don’t know. You’re playing with fire. What if he finds out you’ve been seeing his nemesis behind his back?”
“He’s not going to be okay with me doing it if he knew,” I said. “It’s better this way. I just want to make sure that Chris doesn’t fall. He has such a soft heart and he’s struggling a lot more than he lets on. Besides, Eli has been spreading rumors. At least… I think it’s him. I want to make sure we know the facts so Chris’s company can pull through.”
“Very noble,” Gigi said grimly. “But your career and Chris’s career aren’t the same thing. You’re getting involved in something that shouldn’t concern you.” Her expression was hard.
“It does concern me, though,” I said softly, feeling like I was being cross-examined on a witness stand or something. “Chris concerns me, and if he gets hurt, that affects me directly.”
Gigi nodded slowly. “I get what you’re saying, Bell. I really do. But you have this habit of putting yourself last. You don’t want to see Chris get hurt and that’s fine, I guess. But what about you? What if you get hurt again?”
Gigi knew a lot about the pieces I had to pick up back in the day, when Chris just left me for no good reason. But this was different.
At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
I forced a smile, shrugging. “It’s fine, G. I can handle it. Besides, it’s not like I’m doing anything wrong. It’s just a few meetings, and Chris and I aren’t exactly exclusive, anyway.”
Gigi raised her eyebrows, her lips parting in shock. “The fact that you’re putting it in terms of exclusivity is exactly why this is dangerous,” she said. “If you feel like you should hide it from Chris, it’s already an issue, and you’re trying to justify it for yourself in every way possible.”
I was getting irritated. Because she was right and that pissed me off.
“Bella, I’m serious,” she said, her tone softening. “You’re playing with fire here. You know how things ended with Chris before. You’re already in a complicated situation with him. Adding Eli into the mix… it’s a lot.”
I knew she was right. I could feel it deep down, that little voice telling me I was being reckless, stupid, ruining what could be a good thing. But I was in too deep now. “I just want to help him, Gigi. I can’t sit back and do nothing.”
She sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t agree. You really can sit back and do nothing. Just… be careful, okay? You deserve better than all this drama.”
“I will,” I promised, trying to sound more confident than I felt. “I’ve got it under control.”
She gave me a look, her eyes softening. “Just remember, you’re not invincible. You’re allowed to look out for yourself, too. In fact, I recommend it.”
I smiled, nodding. “Thanks, G.”
We let the conversation drift to lighter topics after that, talking about her travels and the people she’d met, laughing over the ridiculous stories she always seemed to collect. It was easy, familiar, and it let me forget the mess I was tangled up in.
After our afternoon in the café, I took Gigi to the yacht to show it off to her. I gave her a quick tour and relished in the way she was completely stunned by the lavishness of it all. It wasn’t my yacht, but working on it made it my life, and it felt good to show Gigi how far I’d come in my career.
“You’re really playing in the big leagues now, Bella,” Gigi said when we finally closed the door to my cabin. “I can’t tell you how proud I am of how far you’ve come.”
I smiled and hugged my friend. “It means everything coming from you.”
We got dressed to go out on the town. Since Gigi was in town, we were heading out to enjoy Monaco’s night life. At first, it would have just been me and her, but when Chris found out she was coming in and I would take my night off to show her around, he asked if he and his brothers could join.
The bar Chris had picked was one of those upscale, trendy spots that Monaco seemed to be filled with. Dim lighting, plush velvet seating, and a DJ in the corner spinning some mix of deep house and pop that made it impossible to sit still. We found Chris, Alex, and Ben already in the VIP section, a bottle of champagne open on the table, and a platter of appetizers that looked like they belonged in an art gallery rather than a bar.
“Well, well,” Alex said as we approached, his eyes twinkling. “Look who’s decided to join us. Bella, you look stunning. And, Gigi…” He paused, giving her an exaggerated wink. “You always bring the party.”
Gigi laughed, plopping down next to him. “You know it, Blackwood.” She greeted Ben with the same ease she had with everyone, looking like she completely belonged. “It’s great to see you guys again. Now, pass me a glass. I need to catch up.”
I slid in next to Chris, my arm brushing against his. I was a little more reserved, a little shyer than Gigi. He gave me a smile, his eyes becoming that deep, dark ocean blue I loved when he looked at me. “You made it,” he murmured.
I nodded, feeling that familiar warmth spread through my chest when I was close to him. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. It was supposed to be chaste, but it made my toes curl anyway, and heat washed over my body. Chris had that effect on me—my body just responded to him, no matter what he did.
The drinks flowed, the conversation turning playful and crass, as it always did when the Blackwood brothers were together. Ben leaned in at one point, his voice carrying just enough to make sure everyone heard. “So, Chris, tell us… how’d you manage to convince Bella here to be your date to the gala? Bribery? Blackmail?”
Chris rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his whisky. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, Benny. She’s just doing me a favor.”
Gigi nudged me, her grin widening. “A favor, huh? Must be one hell of a favor.”
I could feel my cheeks heating, and I shot her a look, trying to hide my smile. “Don’t read too much into it. It was just one night.”
“Uh-huh,” Alex said, raising an eyebrow. “Sure, it was.” He shot me a knowing look and I blushed again.
Chris’s arm rested on the back of my chair, his fingers brushing against my shoulder every so often, sending little sparks down my spine. He was being attentive—refilling my glass, making sure I had enough to eat, his eyes always drifting back to me as the conversation moved around the table.
He was as incredible as he was when we were together before, when I’d thought he would be my whole world for the rest of my life. I could almost imagine that we were back there, with no reason to worry about the future, no need to panic that somewhere, it was going to fall apart.
Except… there was an undercurrent, something beneath the surface. He leaned in, his voice casual, when Gigi and Alex started arguing playfully about which country had the best hiking spots.
“Where do you hang out when you have days off?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
He took a sip of his drink. “I was just wondering what you do when you’re not looking after the yacht.”
Was he checking up on me? It felt like it. Did he know?
But no. I was just nervous because of what I was doing. There was no way he could know. Right?
I shrugged, keeping my smile light. “Oh, you know. Just exploring. Taking in the sights.”
He nodded, but there was a look in his eyes, something that told me he wasn’t buying it. “Exploring, huh? Anything interesting?”
I forced a laugh, taking a sip of my champagne. “In Monaco, everything is interesting. But nothing worth mentioning. Not like the walk we took the other day, with all the history you shared…” I nudged him with my shoulder, trying to steer the topic to me and him. “I’m not nearly as clued up about what Monaco is all about, so it’s just the usual tourist stuff.”
He smiled. “Right. Well, if you need a guide again, you know where to find me.” He winked and I nodded.
I could feel the weight of my deception, the way it hung between us, unspoken but there all the same. Gigi caught my eye across the table, her expression telling me to be careful. I gave her a small nod, trying to reassure her—and myself—that I had this under control.
The night wore on, the alcohol making everything feel a little lighter, a little easier. It bubbled in my veins, making me lightheaded and I felt like I could breathe again. The music thumped, the lights flickered, and for a while, it felt like we were in our own little bubble, just the five of us, laughing and joking like there wasn’t a care in the world.
Chris’s hand found mine under the table, his fingers intertwining with mine. I glanced at him, my heart skipping a beat at the look in his eyes—that mix of warmth and something else, something deeper. I knew I was walking a dangerous line, but I was doing it for the right reasons. For this—for him, and for us. I squeezed his hand, letting myself get lost in the warmth of his touch.
The night turned into early morning and the crowd thinned. Gigi had made a few new friends—a group of travelers from Spain—and she was all too eager to keep the party going with them. She’d already promised that she would pass through their town, excited about another adventure.
Finally, she broke away and turned to me. “When you’re not working and I’m not planning another crazy scheme, we should spend more time together.”
“Deal. I want at least a week.”
“Maybe more,” Gigi said with a grin and wrapped her arms around me. “I love you, you know that, right?”
I nodded. “I love you, too. It was great seeing you.”
“I’m hard on you because seeing you hurt is the worst thing ever,” she added, her hands on my shoulders now, her eyes piercing mine. “I just want you to be careful.”
I hugged her again and whispered, “I’ve got this.” She smiled, but the worry didn’t leave her eyes before she turned away to carry on with her adventure.
I turned to Chris, who waited for me a few feet away. His brothers had already taken their leave a while ago, and now it was just the two of us. A thrill ran through me—I loved it when we were alone and I could have him all to myself.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
I nodded.
The walk back to the yacht was quiet, the early morning air cool against my skin. Chris walked beside me, his hand brushing against mine every so often. There was a tension between us, something unspoken and heavy, like we were both waiting for the other to say something, to break the silence.
I could feel his eyes on me, the way he watched me when he thought I wasn’t looking. Clearly, he had questions. He must have seen something or heard something. I just wasn’t ready to answer his questions yet.
I didn’t want him to know about Eli, but I didn’t want to lie to him, either.
It was better if he didn’t ask to begin with.
I tried to focus on the sound of the waves, the distant hum of the city, anything to keep my mind off the way my heart pounded every time his hand touched mine.
“You know,” he said finally, his voice soft, “you don’t have to keep secrets from me.”
I glanced at him, my throat tightening. “I’m not keeping secrets.”
He gave me a small smile. “I’m just saying.”
I looked away, my chest tightening. I hated that I was shutting him out. I’d always been so open with him. But he hadn’t always been open with me, had he? He hadn’t told me that he wasn’t happy, that he couldn’t see a future. He’d told me we were good… and then he’d just left.
I was still upset about that. How couldn’t I be? He’d never given me a reason, and now he was telling me I could share it all with him. Didn’t that have to go both ways?
I wanted to say something, but the words stuck in my throat.
We reached the yacht, the lights glowing softly against the dark water. Chris stopped, his hand brushing my arm, his fingers gentle against my skin. I turned to face him, blood rushing in my ears, heat blooming from his touch. He ignited my body and I took a shuddering breath.
“Bella,” he said softly. “Whatever it is you’re doing… just be careful, okay? Just don’t…” He looked away, not finishing his sentence. He was fighting something within himself. I wasn’t going to ask because I knew he wasn’t going to tell me.
And that just made my reason not to tell him that much stronger.
Chris had never been completely honest with me, had he?
I nodded, keeping my voice level, my expression calm. “There’s nothing to be careful of.”
He held my gaze for a long moment, and then he nodded, his hand dropping away. “Goodnight, Bella.” He didn’t invite me to his room. He didn’t kiss me.
A chasm opened between us.
“Goodnight, Chris.”
I watched as he turned and walked away, my heart aching with everything I couldn’t say, everything I was too scared to feel.
Gigi had told me I was playing with fire getting involved with Eli, but it was Chris who had already burned me and here I was, coming back for more.
This game was so much more serious than it should have been, but I couldn’t turn my back and walk away the way Chris had.