Chapter 5
I woke up before my alarm like always. But unlike every other morning, I wanted to linger in bed.
My sheets smelled like her.
I breathed in that sweet scent to the point that I could’ve sworn it was embedded in my lungs, forever a piece of me. And even though I should have wanted to scrub away any trace of her, I didn’t.
When I found Delilah by the creek yesterday, I braced myself for what today would bring—guilt, regret—but it wasn’t there. Not really. Yeah, I felt kinda bad since Delilah was close with all my sisters, but what concerned me more was that I wanted it again. I wanted her again.
That thought had me shoving the heel of my palms into my eyes, trying to force myself to forget last night.
I thought sleeping with her would open some kind of magical pathway, but the only road it opened led directly to her.
But she wasn’t an option to me, not anymore.
It’s what we agreed on. One time and one time only. No strings, just sex.
I ran a hand over my face, sighing. Flashes of her hair fanned out on my bed while she looked up at me with hooded, blissed-out eyes blasted through my memory. My name on her lips in a broken plea rang in my ears.
My dick twitched in my boxers, straining for attention. I couldn’t even remember the last time I woke up with a persistent hard-on like this.
“You’re a fucking idiot,” I muttered under my breath and forced myself to get moving, ignoring the problem between my legs. If I got the horses taken care of now, then I could spend the rest of the day far away from the stables and very far away from Delilah when she showed up.
The stables and lodging for Freedom Reins were a quick walk from my house, since the old Golden Bridle barn was renovated.
The stables were brand new with state-of-the-art facilities and were able to house fifteen horses.
Some of them were ours, and some were Cavendish Equestrian Academy’s, a solid mix of Quarter Horses, Draft Horses, and Haflingers.
Which is what I found when I took one step out of my house.
All the therapy horses were in my goddamn yard.
I looked around, confused. There was nothing but early dawn mist and horses. “What the…?”
I jogged down the steps, grabbed Birch up by the mane, and walked him back to the stables. “How did you get out?” I asked as if he’d answer.
But when I got to the stables, I realized what had happened. We had them turned out in their pasture for the night, since it was finally cooling down, and the gate closest to the house was left wide open. Someone must not have closed the latch completely.
Oh, the joys of running a ranch.
I grabbed some bridles and reins and got busy chasing after horses all morning. I’d only managed to get three by the time Claire came over at six. They were being more stubborn than usual, soaking up their freedom. “What the hell happened?”
I’d had a nice hour of not thinking about last night, too focused on the horses, but seeing Claire almost had me blurting it out.
She put her hands on her hips, brows raised. “Em?”
I cleared my throat. “Someone left the latch to the pasture open.” I tossed her a few bridles. “Nice of you to show up.”
She was fifteen minutes later than usual, and the way she suddenly avoided eye contact told me I wasn’t the only one having fantastic sex.
Fantastic was putting what Delilah did to me mildly.
It was more like the best sex I’d ever had, and it had nothing to do with the fact that it’d been three years and everything to do with the way Delilah and I just seemed to… click.
But I couldn’t click with her again. Never. And God, if that didn’t absolutely fucking suck.
“Shut up,” my sister grumbled, fighting a smile, and got to work.
Another thirty minutes passed, and we were down to only six horses loose. Claire and I were both sweating, irritated, and wondering how the fuck this happened. We’d be having a long talk with the ranch hands assigned to this part of the ranch when they got here at seven.
“Get over here!” she snapped across the yard, arms splayed out while she backed Cinnamon into a corner.
“Don’t think she likes that very much,” I laughed, wiping sweat from my brow.
“Well, I don’t like that she decided to go for an evening stroll, but here we are.” She lunged, slipping the bridle over Cinnamon’s head and led her to the stables. “You’re in time out, young lady.” Cinnamon huffed, her tail flicking. “Yeah, yeah. Cry me a river.”
The low thrumming of a bass blasted down the driveway, followed by Delilah’s cherry red Jeep coming to an abrupt stop. “Goddamnit,” I hissed, watching as the horses bolted. My eyes slammed shut with a heated breath.
“What’s going on?” Just her voice had my stomach flipping, and I was already wondering how much longer I had to endure this before things went back to normal.
I couldn’t even look at her as I said, “You just scared off the fucking horses after I’ve been chasing them for the last two hours,” half pissed at her, half scared to face her.
“How was I supposed to know?”
“Maybe don’t—” Words failed me when my eyes met hers. It all came rushing back like a tidal wave. The way she moaned for me, the way she clung to me, the way she kissed me like I was all she’d ever wanted.
Her eyes widened slightly before lowering to my mouth. God, I wanted to kiss her. And that was the problem, I didn’t know how to stop wanting just yet.
“Just forget it,” I forced out, my voice too deep to be considered normal. “Get Willow and help me chase after them. Lassos are in the tack room.” For never competing or wrangling cattle, Delilah had always been good with a lasso—a natural talent.
I wondered what other natural talents she had as she wordlessly walked to the stables, hips swaying in a way that made me feel like I was burning from the inside out.
Not even two minutes later, Delilah bolted out of the stables. “Where’s my fucking horse?” she shrieked. She ran out into the pasture, chest heaving. “Where is Willow?”
My stomach sank. I squinted down at the horses that had run off. The six of them stayed close together, but none of them were Willow. I figured those were the last six, and the other nine had already been caught.
“Have you seen her?” she asked Claire, her voice dripping with worry like tar. It clung to my insides, sticky and thick. “Have you seen Willow?” she yelled across the pasture to me.
“No,” I called back. “I thought she was in the stables.”
I could hardly make out the pained expression on her face, and my heart fucking plummeted. Shit, shit, shit. My teeth ground together as I went to the stables. Nearly breaking out into a run.
Delilah came in through the other side, racing towards me. “Did you see her when you drove in?” I asked, grabbing my fifty-pound saddle out of the tack room. I propped it on my shoulder, carrying it to Birch’s stall.
She palmed her forehead, following after me. “I didn’t know to be on the lookout for wild fucking horses on my way in!”
“Don’t get pissy with me just cause you’re freaking out,” I warned.
“Yeah, I am freaking out because my fucking horse is missing, Emmett!” Her voice cracked.
“What if she’s hurt? What if she ran off and made it to the highway and got hit by a truck?
” I’d never seen her panicked like this, and a part of me wondered if she was letting me see her crash out because of last night. Because we were…closer now.
“She didn’t get hit by a truck, sugar.” The endearment scorched my tongue the second I carelessly said it. Delilah’s head jerked back, and for one raw, painful second, neither of us breathed. “Delilah,” I snapped, the correction hard and ugly, like shoving her name between us like a wall.
She cleared her throat. “You don’t know that,” she said quietly, not bringing more attention to my slip-up.
The kindness was uncommon for her. She loved to torment.
But her gaze was distraught, that brilliant hazel dull with concern, and I hated it.
I wanted to fix it. “She’s my favorite horse, Em,” she whispered.
Out of all the names she’d hurled at me over the years, Em hadn’t been one of them. Even so, I’d never reacted to it like this—with a heart pounding, breath catching, kind of longing to hear it again.
Facing her, I glanced to make sure no one was around and grabbed her hand. She was shaking. “I know. I’m gonna find her, okay? I’ll take care of it.”
Delilah nodded, eyes focused on me. “Okay.”
“You help Claire with the other six, alright?” My voice came out soft, far softer than it should’ve.
My mind was slipping the longer we stood like this.
Drifting back to that place I went to last night, the one where I wanted to take care of her, shield her, worship her…
shatter her just to put her back together.
“I’m gonna go to the south pasture,” Claire said, walking a saddled Duke past us. Delilah yanked her hand from mine, and I stumbled back so fast I nearly crashed into Birch. My fingers fumbled with his stirrups, pretending to check them like they hadn’t already been perfect.
Claire hadn’t even looked in our direction, but if she had, we would’ve been screwed. And that was exactly why I needed to stay far, far away from Delilah. At least until I got my head on straight when it involved her.
“I’m coming too,” Delilah replied, her voice too high as she ran out of Birch’s stall without a second glance.
I hopped on Birch and rode in the opposite direction, determined not to come back without Willow.
I looked everywhere for that damn horse. All over the property, along the highway a mile in either direction, everywhere I could think of, and she was nowhere to be found. Birch was exhausted, and my mind was fried, so I took him to the creek to take a break—we both needed it.
Dropping Birch’s saddle on a log, I sat down and racked my brain. How could a horse just vanish?
This was exactly why I hadn’t been with anyone in so long.
Because finding Willow suddenly mattered more.
Far more than it would have if this had happened two days ago.
Of course, I’d still be looking, but I wouldn’t feel personally responsible.
I wouldn’t keep thinking about Delilah’s panic.
And I wouldn’t be consumed with the fear of failing her.
Because what if something awful had happened to Willow? How would I break the news to Delilah?
“Fuck,” I sighed, readjusting my hat. Birch hovered by the woods, not going to the water like I thought he would.
He let out a low snort, shifting his weight.
“Go drink some water,” I told him, but he ignored me.
He stomped a hoof and whinnied. I got up and went over to him, running a hand along his spine. “What is it?”
I froze beside him at the sound of a quiet whinny. The only thing in that direction was thick brush and woods. But then it came again, louder this time. I entered the brush, shoving branches out of the way and stepping over logs, careful not to snag my clothes.
A heavy rush of air flew past my lips when I spotted a dark mane.
“For fuck’s sake, Willow,” I groaned, finding her stuck between two trees.
She must’ve wedged herself between them when she realized she couldn’t get out, probably scared.
She squirmed as I made my way to her, tail flicking wildly.
Small sticks and leaves were tangled in her mane and tail.
“You know you’ve got a girl worried sick about you back home. ”
I slipped the bridle over her head, not needing her to run off again once I got her free.
Gritting my teeth, I tugged on the tree trunk until she could work herself loose.
Her skin was a little raw where she was stuck, but nothing a little ointment wouldn’t take care of.
She let out a weary huff. “Let’s get you home. ”
I carried Birch’s saddle propped on my shoulder in one hand and Willow by a lead in the other. We were slow-moving as we crossed Golden Circle back to the stables. She was tired, and probably hungry and thirsty. Birch was glued to her side the whole time, nuzzling her neck and head.
Delilah came flying across the field, her shout breaking the air. “You found her!”
She threw herself at me, knocking the air right out of my lungs.
Birch’s saddle fell to the ground with a thud, but I barely noticed.
All I felt was Delilah. Her arms tight around my neck, her legs around my hips, her heart pounding against my chest. Willow’s lead slipped from my hand, and I wrapped my other arm around her waist, holding her tight.
“I told you I would.”
Holding her felt natural. Unexpectedly right. I buried my face in her hair, breathing her in before I thought better of it. All the tension I didn’t know I was carrying evaporated. She smelled wild and sweet. Like she was mine.
No. Not mine. She was Savannah’s best friend. Off-limits. Never to be touched by me again, no matter how much my body screamed at me to take her inside and never let her go.
She went rigid in my arms, and I suddenly realized where we were and why I couldn’t be cradling her out in the fucking open for the whole ranch to see.
I let her go, and she slid down my body torturously slow.
She looked anywhere but at me, tucking her hair behind her ears while creating a few steps’ worth of distance between us.
“Where was she?” Her words came out breathy.
I cleared my throat. “By the creek. Got stuck between two trees. Had to pry them apart to get her out.” I scratched the back of my head. “Birch found her, actually.”
The corner of her mouth curved with a thankful smile. She ran a hand along his neck, giving him gentle scratches behind his ear. “You’re a good boy, Birch.”
I planted my hands on my hips and looked skyward, taking a deep breath. It was either that or drag her to the stables and earn the title of good boy for myself with my head between her legs.
Turned out I did have regrets about last night—not making her scream with my mouth.
“I gotta go,” I blurted, grabbing the saddle off the ground and Birch’s lead, and walked past her before she could say anything.
“Emmett,” she called after me, and I might as well have stepped in super glue.
I looked over my shoulder. She was standing with Willow, her fiery hair swaying in the wind, her eyes illuminated with gratitude.
She was so beautiful. Stunning in a painful way.
It took my breath away. It made me ache. It pissed me off that last night was just a one-time thing. It didn’t make any sense; I’d had casual flings before, but not one of them stirred this kind of want within me after the fact.
“Thank you,” she said.
I dipped my chin once in acknowledgment and walked away, because that was the only option I had. The only one I’d ever have. And that was the way it was supposed to be.
Even if I was beginning to hate it.