20. Stan
Chapter twenty
Stan
“I really love your place,” Grace says as she enters the kitchen.
It’s morning. She ended up spending the night here. I won’t lie, I love having her here. It’s been a really long time since I last saw my little sister.
“Then visit more often,” I say.
“I should be saying that to you. You’re an uncle, you know?” she reminds me.
That’s right. Jeff and Justin, her twin boys. I haven’t seen them in a while.
“And it turns out I’m an aunt,” she says happily. “I want to tell the boys. They need to know they have a female cousin. Now they can include her in their activities with Alex, their other cousin.”
It’s funny how Lucas has been adopted by my family as not just my best friend but a brother, too. All the more reason I shouldn’t exactly be putting the moves on his cousin/little sister .
I shake my head, trying to remove thoughts of last night. The taste of saliva laced with beer, and a tongue squirming wildly in my mouth.
“Nevertheless, I like this house. Give it to me.” She crosses her arms in expectation.
“No.”
“Why? I should get it. Oh, wait, Ruth would need it now. Nevertheless, you can get her a bigger one. So let me have this one,” she insists. “We both know I’ll outlive you.”
“I doubt you will with how you behave like a rabid chihuahua sometimes,” I point out. “I’ll live longer, anyway.”
“Really? Not even when Lucas is going to strangle you for forcing his cousin into a battle of the tongues in public?” she asks, nonchalantly taking the cup of coffee from my hand and sipping it.
I blink at her. “What?” I ask coolly, but I’m slowly panicking. Fuck. Did she see us?
My sister just smirks at me.
“I don’t understand why he would do that, because it didn’t happen,” I defend, willing my face to give nothing away. “Sam is a friend, and my employee. We have boundaries neither of us would cross in respect to our jobs, and our relationship with Lucas.”
“Is that so?” Grace asks thoughtfully. “I believe feasting on her neck while muttering that you should stop is a new form of boundary I’m not aware of.”
I swallow hard. She saw us, all right. And heard us, apparently.
I run a hand over my face. “Sounds like I should charge you admission for how long you watched. ”
She laughs at that and gives a subdued shake of her head. “You can try, but I get a family discount.”
I stare back at my sister. “Good God. How does your husband put up with you?” As far as I’m concerned, her poor husband is subjected to a higher dose of her antics and might need serious help.
She grins wider now. “He doesn’t. He just holds on for dear life and comes along for the ride.”
I can’t help but laugh as I prop my hands on the edge of the counter and drop my head. I drove myself crazy all night long, agonizing about how much I enjoyed that kiss, and how much I wanted it to happen again.
“Fuck,” I groan.
“Honestly, this is just way more fun than I banked on,” Grace remarks. “I love watching you be all lost and confused. It’s very satisfying for me as the chaotic Holt child with zero sense of direction.”
“Thank you for the kind words.” I push up from the counter, my eyes meeting with hers again.
“Those weren’t kind words. I absolutely revel in your discomfort,” she admits with a shrug.
“This was stupid. I shouldn’t have kissed her,” I groan again.
“Why not?”
“She’s Lucas’s baby cousin. His little sister, more or less,” I remind her.
“But you’ve been in love with her since you met her.”
“No, I haven’t.” I shake my head, a little too hard .
“You’ve always wanted her,” Grace doubles down.
“I haven’t.”
“Stop being stupid, Stan,” she says with an annoyed look. “You’re only saying that because you think you don’t have a chance with her.”
I let out a long sigh. “I don’t think—I know.”
“The first part of that statement is very true,” she says. “As for the second, if you’re worried about Lucas, then you’re delusional.”
“Huh?”
“If Lucas and I dated, would you kill him?” she asks.
I pause. “No, he’s good for spoiled brats like you. So no, I wouldn’t.”
“There you go. So stop hiding like a bunch of teenagers and grow a pair.” She shrugs and takes another sip.
It’s more complicated than that. Knowing the work situation Sam just fled, knowing her financial situation, knowing I’ve hired her with a contract and everything… it feels slimy to go after her.
And as much as I see Grace’s point, I still feel guilty where Lucas is concerned. “I think there’s a little more to it than me knocking on his door and telling him I’m in love with his cousin… who is practically a sister to him. And one he’s fiercely protective of.”
The words come out before I can stop them. Before I can think about them. Before I can process them.
“And yet he had no issue letting her date a guy who didn’t care about her,” Grace muses. “Anyway, I’m going to go hang out with my niece before I have to leave this afternoon. Maybe you should go for a swim or something. Figure your shit out. ”
She salutes me and walks away, but stops at the entrance. “You’re a good man, Stan,” she says. “Don’t overthink yourself into unhappiness. Go after exactly what you want for a change. It’s one of the many things you’re good at.” She blows me a kiss. “I love you.”
“Thanks, Grace,” I reply, cracking a smile. “That’s why you’re the sole beneficiary of my estate and holdings.”
“Yes!” She punches the air in victory, “Oh, but don’t go and die soon. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I killed you to get everything.”
*****
I’m tired.
It’s 7 a.m., and I’ve dragged myself to the office.
Sam is probably still asleep. I know George is staying with her at the guesthouse.
I know the two of them aren’t together anymore, but the idea of both sleeping in the same space rattles me to no end.
The office space has been completely transformed over the past weeks. Lesley outdid himself in the revamping and remodeling. The mold is practically nonexistent.
Like the presence of a smile on his face.
The doors have been retrofitted with glass and hung on new tracks. Built-in shelves have been mounted to the walls. New lighting has been wired. Even the exposed stone fireplace looks like it’s been given new life.
But it’s what’s across from the fireplace that stops me in my tracks .
Sam is fast asleep, curled up on her side on the leather couch. She’s tucked her hands under her cheek and pulled her knees up like she’s cold.
I’m at a loss. I thought she’d be at the guesthouse with her now-ex, but here she is. Come to think of it, the doors were open on my way in, and I didn’t notice.
I make my way across the room, the soles of my shoes quiet on the hardwood floors.
When I sit on the couch’s far cushion, she stirs but doesn’t wake. Her Birkenstocks lie discarded on the floor nearby, and on her feet are the kind of socks you’d use to make a hand puppet. Only she could look adorable in socks and Birks.
I reach for her, my hand wrapping delicately around her slender ankle, thumb rubbing the tiny bone protruding there. It takes every ounce of control not to crawl into the couch beside her and hold her to me. It would be warm and cozy and completely inappropriate.
I stifle a groan at the thought and glance again at her pretty face. Her lashes flutter, and her lips curve softly before she rolls onto her back and forces her legs into a long stretch.
One that has her feet pushing down on my leg.
She gasps out a startled breath and opens her eyes. When she sees me there, her eyes widen, and her hand flies to her chest. “What the fuck, Stan?”
“Hey,” I say. “Good morning.” My voice is rough, and I swallow.
“It’s Saturday,” she states. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to work.”
“On a Saturday?”
“I love work,” I answer. “You seem like you love it more than I do, considering that you’re sleeping here. ”
“I don’t know,” she says with a sigh. “Sleeping next to George just didn’t feel right.”
The sentence lingers in the quiet office between us. We both know the deeper meaning of what she said, but neither of us elaborates. I did apologize to him, but not for kissing her. In hindsight, after I cooled down, I realized I’d been unfair to him. He may not have been the most caring and supportive boyfriend when they were together, but he was only trying his best to make ends meet.
“When is his trip back to Chicago? Is he staying another day?” I ask. I’m slightly worried I’m being too nosy and possessive. Especially after our hot and very memorable make-out session.
“He leaves today,” she answers.
All I can offer is a nod. I don’t know what to say. Knowing about him didn’t stop me from kissing her last night.
There are a few good reasons I shouldn’t have kissed Samantha Knight last night. But George isn’t one of them.
And I refuse to regret kissing Sam.
Which doesn’t mean I don’t recognize that it can’t happen again. One boss with wandering hands in her young career is probably more than enough for her.
The two of us really need to work on boundaries.
She gets to her feet and stretches again. Her shirt rides up, and my breath hitches as I get an eyeful of her flat tummy.
“About last night,” I start to say, “we can’t do that again.”
She turns to me. “You don’t want to kiss me again?”
“I’m not saying I don’t want to. I’m saying we can’t,” I answer.
Sam stares at me blankly, then bites her lower lip and hums a little, “Okay. ”
My heart is pounding.
“I mean it. What happened last night… you, me, there’s Lucas. I don’t…” I let out a sigh. “I’m your boss. You deserve a safe work environment.”
“I said okay, didn’t I?” she snaps.
Then she walks out the door without another word.
I don’t work at all today. I throw on my swim trunks and torture myself in the cold lake, swimming until my body gives out.
And I swear I can feel her gaze on me the entire time.