Chapter 6
Sev
Wes looks like a mess when he arrives in class Friday morning.
He’s late, first of all, which is surprising for a guy who acts like a teacher’s pet. He comes in a minute after class begins and nods apologetically to Dr. Sellwood. There are dark circles under his eyes, and the messy golden swoop of his hair is less perfect than usual.
He’s not in his hoodie today. His knit sweater is more form-fitting, baby blue and tight against his body, showcasing his shape as he moves through the room and finds his seat.
As Dr. Sellwood continues on with her lecture about the execution of Marie Antoinette, I idly watch Weston.
I don’t know if it counts as spying on him, or stalking him, or whatever the fuck Kieran asked for. In reality, I have no desire to “spy” on Wes or anyone else in Onyx Society.
But I watch him because I want to.
And because the way he looked at me across the table last night made my cock hard again, and I’m far too curious for my own good.
He’s… careful.
It’s something I haven’t noticed about him before, because I tend to avoid Weston like the plague.
The way he acts all proper, sitting up with good posture on his chair, until he eventually gets tired and then slouches over a little bit in the seat, then repeats the process again.
Or how he’s trying so hard not to look my way. He pays attention to Dr. Sellwood and averts his gaze from going anywhere near me, but he chews on his lower lip, unable to hide his nerves.
Even last night at dinner he was so concerned about Noah when he poured liquor into his soda. The amount of liquor was a little excessive, but nothing a guy of his size couldn’t handle.
Why are you so bound to the rules, Sheriff?
I put the end of my pen into my mouth, biting it a little.
When class is nearly over, I’ve already forgotten that Dr. Sellwood planned to break the students up into groups for discussion.
“Ten minutes of analysis in small groups,” she says, clapping her hands together. “There are three questions on the worksheet. Get in groups of four, and Sevan and I will go around, facilitating.”
The class breaks out into a chattering murmur as everyone finds their groups.
I pass out the question sheets to every desk, and naturally, Wes avoids my gaze when I drop it on his.
I keep my distance as everyone works on their questions together, and I stay around the perimeter of the room helping other students with the assignment.
When there are only a few minutes left, I head over.
“Marie Antoinette was the one who said let them eat cake,” Wes is saying to his group.
Noah’s there looking like he’s half asleep. The two other girls in his group are nodding at Wes, both of them probably distracted by how obscenely good he looks in that light blue sweater.
The faint dark circles beneath his eyes only serve to highlight the lighter blue flecks in his irises, and I can see why the girls are staring.
“So true, Wes,” one girl says, nodding at him.
I loop around behind him and pull up an empty chair, sitting on it backwards and looking over.
“It’s actually a fabrication that she said let them eat cake,” I correct Weston. “A rumor that started after her death.”
He glares at me. “Well, she might not have said it, but she acted like it.”
“Very true. The third question on the worksheet goes into that, discussing why public opinion of her was so volatile.”
“Dude. Sevan,” Noah says, blinking at me like he’s finally waking up. He holds out a hand to fist bump me. “Going to come to our party on Saturday?”
“Not sure yet. Wes tends to throw me out of Onyx parties.”
“I only threw you out once, when you tried to deck one of my friends in the face. The rules are pretty simple, Sev. I don’t like fights.”
“Maybe you’d like a fight with me. We should try sometime.”
“We’re in the middle of class. Fuck off,” he says, a flare of anger flashing behind his eyes.
I stand up quickly, the chair making a bad sound on the hardwood floor.
“I think you guys have this worksheet figured out.”
I head over and help other people out, but when I look back to Weston, he’s watching me.
I blow him a tiny kiss and he scowls at me, but I see a pink blush fall over his cheekbones when he turns away.
Left foot.
Right foot.
Every muscle firing, coming back to life.
It’s been a few hours since class. The sky is overcast and the air is only a little above freezing today, but my skin is hot and my thighs burn in the best possible way as my running shoes hit the pavement. I keep my breathing even as my lungs expand, and I turn back toward Niko.
“You’re slower than me, and my legs didn’t even work a month ago,” I say.
Niko gives me the finger and starts trying to catch up.
My phone buzzes from where I have it tucked in the pocket of my running shorts. I pull it out and I’m disappointed that it isn’t Weston replying to one of my messages from last night.
Kieran: You went to dinner with Onyx guys last night?
I did.
AND??? Did you find anything out?
How many pills does it take before you start typing every word in caps?
You know why it matters to me.
I didn’t find anything out, because there’s probably nothing to find out. See you later, Kier.
Right as I’m about to slide my phone away, the screen lights up again and this time, it’s at least a call from a person I don’t mind speaking to.
“Hey, Mom,” I say.
“Hi, Angie,” Niko says loud enough that she’ll hear.
“How’s it going, boys?” she asks.
“Niko and I are on a run,” I tell her. “You doing okay, Mom?”
“My water heater is out. But Sheri’s coming over to help me out with it.”
“Mom, you’ve got to check if the pilot light is on at the bottom. Make sure no gas is spilling out into the house, okay?”
She laughs. “That was the first thing Sheri told me to do, too. Pilot light is fine, sweetie.”
“Good. And you’re fine?”
Her sigh alone is enough to make my chest tighten. “I’ll be okay, Sevvie. I just… well, you already know. I wish I had a partner at times like these.”
“Sheri knows how to fix things even better than I do. She’ll help you more than anyone could.”
She chats with me a little more about my plans to drive back home for one night sometime in the near future, and I’m relieved when I hear that she’s been seeing Sheri and a few other friends more.
“I’ll let you go. Enjoy the rest of your run,” she says.
“Bye, Mom. Remember, you’re strong. And I’d say you’re better off alone, but I know you don’t agree.”
She laughs. “Talk to you later.”
Niko slaps me on the arm as I shove my phone back into my pocket.
“What?” I protest.
“You don’t have to try to sell everyone else on being a lone wolf just because you are.”
I roll my eyes. “Just because you’re in a happy couple doesn’t mean I want to be.”
“Someday, some lucky woman will be the one to change your mind.”
I pick up the pace of my jog. “My mom just got divorced for the fourth time. There are only so many weddings you can sit through before you start to picture the awful ending each time. I want nothing to do with that shit. I like being alone, Niko.”
“Maybe your mom just believes in love.”
“Well, maybe her life would be a lot less hollow if she gave that up,” I say, bitterness creeping into my tone.
“Damn. Who hurt you, Sev?”
I pull in a long breath. “I just don’t need anyone else to make me feel whole.”
We run in a comfortable silence for a while.
The Crimson campus looks good like this, when the sky is grey and the stone buildings look a little bit gothic.
Some people probably hate it, but I love a grim-looking day.
Makes me feel alive.
Everything makes me feel alive, when I can run like this.
After a while, Niko starts telling me about some light Onyx House gossip. It’s nothing that Kieran would be rabid for, but instead more about hookups and parties.
When the conversation turns to Weston, my curiosity is piqued.
“Feel bad for the guy sometimes, honestly,” Niko says as we run down the path that cuts through the quad. “Seemed like his dad always treated him like dirt, then he went and died. All while his best friend starts fucking his brother.”
“His dad was also your dad,” I remind him.
He waves a hand through the air. “I know, but not really. I literally never met the man. I was his rejected bastard son.”
I hum. “Do you think Weston was jealous of his brother? When Hunter and Rayne started hooking up?”
“I get the impression he’s always been a little jealous of his brother. They get along now, but that definitely wasn’t always the case.”
I listen to the sound of our footfalls for a while. Once we’re out of the busy part of campus, we take a ridge along a hill on the south side.
The air is fresh, and the buds on the trees are slowly getting greener, even if today is gloomy.
“Still don’t understand why Wes has to act so intense all the fucking time,” I say. “Even when his phone was vibrating on the table last night, he treated it like a goddamn bomb.”
He cuts me a glance. “He doesn’t like getting texts.”
“What’s the big deal?”
Niko lets out a long breath. “Sev, I’m going to tell you something, but don't repeat this, okay?”
Nice.
Secrets.
Fucking tell me everything, please. Not for Kieran, but for me.
“What is it?”
Niko slows to a stop, pausing at the edge of a flowerbed and looking at me, catching his breath.
“Weston had a really fucked up childhood. He kind of kept it secret for a while, apparently, but after a night drinking with Noah a few weeks ago, he… let a lot of it slip to me and Ollie.”
I frown. “How fucked up?”
“His dad was abusive. Physically, verbally. If Wes even got a B instead of an A in school, his dad would hurt him. After a while he started only hurting Wes, never his brother.”
“Holy shit.”
Niko nods. “Apparently there was some bad shit at school, too. Weston was bullied, but he never did anything about it because he was afraid of what his dad would say. He told some story about a kid pushing him off the top of a tall playground set.”
My chest goes stony.
Niko’s giving me a sympathetic look, now, because he knows that I was treated horribly in elementary school, too.
By the time high school rolled around, I had switched schools and become the resident rebel, and everyone in my new school system respected me. I sold cigarettes like a delinquent out behind the art building, and kids wanted to get in fights with me, like a badge of honor.
But when I was younger, it was a different story.
I know exactly how it feels to be the outcast like that.
I clear my throat, still catching my breath. “Didn’t know that happened to Wes.”
“Me either, until recently. He definitely doesn’t like to talk about it.”
“He’s still infuriating. But that’s horrifying, what he went through.”
“Do you know the full story of what happened last semester, too?”
“Weren’t those attacks on his brother?”
Niko shakes his head. “Both of them, at the end. Weston almost got shot, too. Not just Hunter.”
“Holy fucking shit.”
I had heard about the bad stuff that went down at Onyx last semester, but with my leg injuries, I was holed up at the hospital the day it went down, then recovering at my mom’s house for a week after. I got the gist of the story later on, but never knew how deeply involved Wes was.
“No doubt in my mind Wes has to have some level of trauma from it. It’s sad. He said he hates sleeping alone because he thinks someone’s going to get into his room and hurt him.”
“Another person who doesn’t realize how much better it is to be alone,” I say.
He lifts an eyebrow. “Sev.”
“Fine. I understand. I can understand why he feels that way.”
Niko sighs. “All I’m saying is… give him a little leeway.”
We start up our jog again, looping around the stone buildings on the south side of campus. The clouds start to blow past, and for a brief moment the sun casts bright pillars of light between every tree.
Feeling empathetic with Wes is unfamiliar.
I don’t like it.
It’s like I’m suddenly wearing a strange coat that fits all wrong.
But there are three-dimensional facets of Weston that I never knew were there.
Kieran’s request flashes through my mind, and it makes me more uncomfortable. I thought the “secrets” I was about to dig up about Weston would be much tamer, gossip or a tidbit about the potential bribery that went down last year.
But these secrets about Wes are different.
And they aren’t ever fucking leaving my mouth.
“Race you back to Red Row,” I tell Niko, and I’m already off before he agrees.