Chapter 9 Weston
Weston
I hold my breath as I hear a knock and realize Sev is actually coming back.
So fucking screwed.
I feel like something’s snapped inside me. My heart skips a beat in my chest as my eyes adjust.
It’s obvious that it’s not a crush, now, but a full-blown mental deterioration, my cock causing me to want things that I know damn well aren’t good for me.
The first thing I see is a glimpse of Sev’s tattoos, peeking out from my rolled-up long sleeve in the dim light filtering through the window.
The bottom of the raven’s wing.
I see the edge of the wrap I put around his arm, too.
“Hi,” Sev says in a low tone.
I’ve been caught red-handed.
Every inch of my body flushes with heat, like I’m blushing all the way from my face down to my fucking legs.
My cock is still hard, and being in the same ten-foot radius of Sevan Berlant is the last thing I need when I’m trying to convince my mind to forget he exists.
“What do you want?” I say, blinking. “Was finally about to fall asleep, dickhead.”
“Not sure I believe that. Are your roommates around?”
“Don’t have any this semester.”
“Lucky you.”
“A couple of Onyx guys went to study abroad in France. Why are you asking?”
He steps closer toward my bed and that fire that ripped through me earlier is an inferno, now.
He looks so good I hate it.
Wearing my clothes and running one hand through his hair, which is still slightly damp and messy, with dark locks sticking up in a bunch of directions. It’s a halo above the riot of colorful ink all across his body.
I swallow past a tight throat, clutching my bedsheets over myself like I’ll be exposed if I let go.
I lick my lips, and clear my throat. “You said you’d quit bugging me.”
“I lied,” he says with a lazy shrug, cocking his head to one side as he looks at me.
He comes to sit on the edge of my bed and I feel the mattress sinking under his weight. He’s so close now that I can smell a sweet hint of whiskey on him.
“Didn’t say you could sit,” I mutter.
“Want me to spend the night?”
I furrow my brow. “Sevan.”
“I wouldn’t do anything bad. Only good things,” he says, and I twitch as I feel his hand slide under the covers.
He pushes the sheets downward and cooler air suddenly hits my torso. I sleep shirtless and I’ve never cared about that until right this moment.
His fingertips land on my lower stomach, just above the waistband of my sweatpants. He runs them through the small trail of hair that leads lower, and I pull in a breath.
Then all at once he reaches lower and palms my cock.
He moans as he gives it a tight squeeze through the cotton and I shut my eyes for a moment, shame flooding my body.
“Fuck’s sake,” I protest.
“Knew it. Knew it.”
My skin feels hot even in the cool air.
Sev leans over and gets close to my face, still squeezing at my cock through the sweatpants as he stops a couple of inches above my face.
“Bad fucking idea,” I utter.
His eyes look like silvery jewels in the light reflecting through my window, his lashes flicking down then up as he looks over my face.
No mask, this time.
I can see all of him.
Those eyes. The lone freckle beneath his right eye. The scar at the edge of one eyebrow.
My heart thuds in my chest as he finally answers me.
“Sometimes it’s good to do bad things.”
His lips are so close to mine and it’s like something in my chest is about to explode. When he comes in closer my breath hitches as he closes the space between us.
But his mouth lands on my cheek.
He presses a soft kiss under each of my eyes. Teasing me. He knows that I expected his lips on mine, but he doesn’t kiss me there. He moves lower a moment later, kissing me on my neck instead, and the rush of wet heat from his mouth is like a drug.
“Fuck,” I whisper, softly enough that I don’t even know if he heard me.
“Ever been fucked before, Knox?”
I can feel his lips move against my skin as he talks.
Agonizing.
So fucking good.
“Quit acting like I’m some inexperienced kid.”
“I know you haven’t been with a man. I know you want my cock, but I can’t give it to you raw, baby.”
I shove his shoulders. “You don’t get to call me that.”
“Would you rather I call you Sheriff the first time you take my dick?”
“Who said I’m giving you my ass?”
He hums, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a hint of a smile. “Ask me to leave and I’ll leave.”
He moves his hand and pushes it inside my sweatpants now, the warmth of his palm hitting my bare cock.
I groan at the sensation.
Goddamnit.
“I have lube and condoms in the nightstand. Just because I’ve never been with a guy doesn’t mean I haven’t tried things.”
“Jesus. If I knew you could take a toy in your ass I would have bent you over that night at Zenith.”
“You wish.”
His eyes are wild again. Hungry, like he’s regarding me solely as a means to an end, now.
“Want you over the bed for me. And get your clothes off.”
Panic hits my veins as he suddenly moves off the bed, already stripping naked.
The problem is that I was bluffing when I tried to tell him I was experienced. Yes, I’ve used a toy before, and I’ve definitely come to the conclusion that I like the idea of being fucked. But Sevan’s cock is a lot thicker and longer than anything I’ve ever used on myself.
And… it’s him.
Someone I’m not in control of.
Someone I shouldn’t even be in the same room as, let alone considering giving my ass to in the middle of the night.
I look up at his statuesque body and barely know how to breathe.
He raises an eyebrow at me.
“You know this is simple, right, Wes? If it’s too much for you—”
“I know it’s just sex, not a marriage proposal,” I interject, my voice coming out like venom. “We can both get something we want and I’m not going to start sending you fucking valentines, Sev.”
He pauses for a moment, watching me. Then he gives me an upward nod.
“Then bend over this bed.”
I shove away the covers and get up, pushing off the rest of my clothes.
Shouldn’t be doing this.
And I’m definitely fucking doing it.
I’ve been naked with Sevan before but this is a whole different feeling entirely, an agreed arrangement rather than a night behind a mask.
He reaches out a hand to stroke my ass as I turn around, retrieving my lube and condoms from the drawer. When I bend over the bed he keeps that palm at the small of my back.
He’s never fucked a guy, either.
This is a first for him too.
And that doesn’t mean it’s anything special for him. Chill.
I hear the snap of the lube bottle being shut behind me and I don’t know what to expect next. My elbows are resting on the mattress and when he grips my ass and I feel a small, slick push at my hole, I tense up.
“Breathe,” he says from behind me, his voice deep and calm.
It’s just his finger. I can feel that now.
But it’s not gentle. He pushes inside me steadily, and my whole body floods with an unexpected rush of sensation.
He’s inside me.
“I’m…” I say in a low whisper, but I don’t know how to finish that sentence.
“You good, Knox?”
“Yes. Good.”
“Good. Breathe for me.”
My cock throbs at the way he says it, hanging there in the space above the mattress. I feel him pushing another finger inside me and I groan at the tight fit, but he doesn’t stop, giving it to me inch by inch.
His other hand moves up to my hip, holding me steady there.
“Did you lock the door?” I utter.
“That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”
“Tell me you fucking locked it.”
“So afraid,” he murmurs before pushing his fingers in deeper, making me gasp. He drags his fingertips along my prostate and my cock jumps again. Christ. Nothing in the world has the right to feel that good.
“Sevan,” I say in a broken whisper and he squeezes tight on my hip.
“Wait ‘til my cock is inside you if you’re going to say my name like that. I like it too much.”
I swallow hard.
He’s enjoying this just as much as I am.
Guess I’m at least a little better than a thoughtless fuck at a party.
“Just fuck me.”
He hums. “I did lock the door, by the way, but I’m wondering if I should go open it wide, instead. Let them hear you calling out my name.”
“I’ll hurt you.”
He lets out a satisfied groan. “Wish you would.”
“Then quit going easy on me. Asked you to fuck me, not treat me like I’m fragile.”
He pauses. “Is that right?”
“Yes,” I try to say confidently, and it ends up sounding like a broken whisper.
He pulls his fingers out a little then slowly pushes them back in again.
“Then maybe I want to tease you, instead. Would you beg for me, Weston?”
“You know I wouldn’t.”
He pushes deeper. A moan escapes my mouth before I can force myself quiet, and I feel my face heating up. I’m giving away how much this is actually affecting me, and both of us know it.
Damn it.
“Pretty sure I could make you.”
His free hand comes around to give my cock a firm, tight squeeze, and the feeling in combination with him being literally inside me is nearly too much.
I feel a wave of sensation forming in me, so much at once, and something comes loose inside me.
I can’t come yet.
I need more of this.
Need you to give me your cock so that I’ll be the only guy you’ve ever fucked, and you have to live with that memory of me, forever, etched in your mind.
“God,” I utter, moving a hand to push his fist off of my dick before I lose control and accidentally come in his hand.
“You want to come for me that badly.”
“It’s not that serious,” I toss back at him, my voice coming out with more bite than I expected.
“Okay, Sheriff. It’s not that serious.”
I can hear the disbelief in every word of mine that he repeats.
Suddenly he shifts behind me. And then his fingers are sliding out, and I push my hips back a little involuntarily. I’d gotten used to the feeling of being filled up and now I miss it.
I don’t dare turn around.
I stare down at the rumpled comforter beneath me, watching the dancing shadows cast by the tree branches outside in the moonlight. I can hear him moving behind me, ripping open the condom packet over the sound of the bass from downstairs.
And I’m bracing myself.