Chapter 22 Sev
Sev
For a lifetime, all I’ve ever thought about was independence. I never thought about love, or wondered about falling for another person. I’m still not even sure what it might mean.
But something like love has the ability to change everything.
Even things I was certain of.
I wake up with Weston in my arms and rain still pattering on the windows of his room.
We’re in his bed.
And it’s the only place I want to be.
“Anyone ever told you that you snore?” he murmurs gently as he blinks his eyes open, looking up at me with mischief in his blue eyes.
“You liar.”
“I mean, it’s not loud snoring. It’s very soft, and almost cute, but it’s there.”
I hum and bring my nose to the edge of his hair, burying my face in it. “You know, just because I admitted I want you doesn’t mean I can’t still punish you.”
“Not my fault you look hot when you snore,” he protests, shifting in my arms.
I clasp my arms tighter around him so he won’t wriggle away, and I breathe in his scent.
“I don’t want to leave this bed yet. Not ready for the rest of the world yet.”
He sighs, reaching down to grip my hip. “I’m not either. But I’m sure Kieran will at least be happy today when he gets that offer from the CEO.”
“I texted him before I went on the drive last night. He at least knows that something good is coming his way. But the rest of his problems are his own to fix.”
Weston runs his fingertips over the dip at the bottom of my abs, and I can tell by the look on his face that he’s lost in thought.
“Actually, there was a guy last year in Onyx who needed to work with a counselor. He was also taking too many pills, and he said the counselor turned his life around.”
“Really?”
Wes nods. “Kieran should talk to her. She’s part of the Crimson campus health center, so it should be easy enough.”
“You’re way too kind to a person who was flailing around wanting to knock you out last night.”
“Mm. Kieran just feels like things were unfair. And he’s right. I’d do anything to make up for that.”
I kiss the edge of his hair.
“I really like you,” I tell him.
My heartbeat gets a little faster just saying it. The sheer magnitude of how true it is.
“Wish the Sevan from last semester could see what you’re saying to me now,” he teases.
“That version of me didn’t know about your cock yet.”
He drops his mouth open in shock, but I just reach up and drag my thumb over his lower lip.
“Knew I was nothing more than a good dick.”
“No,” I tell him. “You’re also a good ass. And a goddamn beautiful soul, through and through.”
“Now you’re the one being too nice. I can’t handle it. When are you going to go back to glaring at me?”
“You can handle it just fine,” I tell him.
The sound of footsteps comes down the hall and a moment later, there’s someone rapping at Weston’s door.
“Yeah?” Wes calls out.
There’s a slight panic in his eyes, like he’s still freaked out by the idea of someone walking in and seeing us together in bed.
“Yo,” Rayne calls out from the other side of the door. “Pancakes or waffles?”
“Um, are the guys using the—”
“Yes, Weston, the guys are using the protein batter. Which I still think sounds raunchy. Protein batter.”
“Then I’ll have waffles,” Wes says.
“Healthy protein waffles coming right up, then,” Rayne says. “You okay, bro?”
“I’m fine. Just groggy. Going to shower, okay?”
“See you downstairs,” Rayne says as he walks back off down the hall.
I run my finger along the center of Weston’s chest, peeking up at him and holding his gaze. “You know… I’d proudly walk down there with you if you’re comfortable with it.”
He bites his lower lip. “Today?”
“Yes, today,” I say, leaning in to give him a small kiss on the forehead. “But am I sensing that you’re not ready for that?”
“I’m just overwhelmed,” he murmurs softly.
I squeeze the side of his body, giving him a nod. “Then we won’t do that. You can take all the time you need. Just know that I’d brag about you to every student on this campus.”
He pauses as he holds my gaze.
At first there’s disbelief in his eyes, but it slowly melts away as he realizes, yet again, that I’m not just playing some elaborate prank on him.
“I’d brag about you, too,” he says. “Thank you for being patient with me.”
“It’s worth it.”
“But I know I’m difficult,” he says.
“There’s nothing difficult about you at all. When you’re not near me I’m frustrated by it, Weston.”
“Don’t you love being alone?”
“I do. And being with you is still better.”
He moves in and kisses me quickly, like if he doesn’t seize the moment, I’ll disappear.
But I’ll be as patient as Wes needs, because I’m not going anywhere when being with him feels like this.
I perform a mini-Mission Impossible stealth act to get out of Onyx House without anyone seeing me.
Weston went down to the kitchen for his protein waffles a few minutes ago, and I put on my clothes quietly and start to walk lightly down the upstairs hallway. It would feel ridiculous if it wasn’t so fun, peering around corners to make sure nobody’s in view of the staircase as I make my way down.
And once I get to the reading room, which has a small door that leads to the side of the house, I know I’m going to make it out. I push the little arm chair to one side, get the door open, and step out onto Red Row.
It smells like rain.
The air is still humid, but the showers have stopped.
I breathe in deep, thinking of everything I need to make happen, feeling more sure than I have in a while.
Kieran is still a fire that needs to be put out.
And I’m still not comfortable with the fact that Cal Thorne thinks he can blackmail Weston, but that’s a situation I need to consider carefully, hopefully after a vat of coffee.
I loop around to the front of the house and as I’m walking down the sidewalk, someone catches my eye.
“Sev?” a voice calls out, and I turn to face the opposite direction on the sidewalk.
It’s Niko.
“Yo,” I tell him.
There’s no use trying to make up an excuse.
Niko’s already walking over to me with his eyebrows up, hiding a smile. “You’re leaving Onyx House?” he asks.
“What are you doing up and out of the house so early?”
He holds up the tiny bag he’s holding. “Ollie likes hot sauce on his eggs, and we ran out.”
“You’re really going for the Boyfriend of the Year award,” I tell him.
“And are you going for Hookup of the Year? You slept with Wes last night, didn’t you?”
“I don’t kiss and tell.”
“Oh, bullshit. I saw Wes wearing that watch you used to wear. And come on, you used to tell me about every girl you hooked up with back in the day.”
“Well, maybe I’ve changed.”
“God, you are crazy for him, aren’t you?
I let out a long breath, looking down Red Row at the thick green leaves that are bursting from every branch, still dripping with raindrops.
“Listen, I’d be running around campus with a megaphone talking about it, if it were up to me. But Weston is… gun-shy about it. For obvious reasons.”
Niko nods. “He probably thinks you’re going to drop him like a bag of bricks.”
“Jesus, Niko.”
“I mean, that definitely has been your reputation for… forever.”
“All I’m saying is please don’t blab about it to the other guys. Not yet. For his sake, not mine?”
“I can keep a secret,” Niko says with a nod.
“Yeah, like you secretly were fake-dating Ollie before you fell head over heels for him, too?”
“Love is a powerful thing. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along, you just didn’t want to listen.”
That word hits me hard, as something I always practically tried to avoid.
Love.
Niko starts to walk back toward Onyx house and I stop him. “Do you have a few minutes, actually?”
“I have at least five,” he says. “What’s up?”
“Any chance you’d be willing to be a buffer for me right now?”
“What do you mean by buffer?”
“I mean Kieran might attempt to strangle me when I walk into the Daggers house, and I want someone there to defuse him like a bomb, if that’s the case.”
“Yikes,” he says with a nod. “Okay. Five minutes. Let’s go.”
Double Daggers doesn’t seem too different from Onyx House when we walk in. A lot of the guys are up and in the kitchen already, firing up the stove for a big breakfast and guzzling electrolyte drinks for their hangovers.
I spot Kier at the edge of the dining table by the window, sitting alone and looking very tired with a giant cold brew in his hand.
He fixes his eyes on me and Niko instantly, and I walk over to sit right next to him with Niko beside me.
“How are you feeling?” I ask him.
“Dead inside,” he says back. “No pills, no good.”
“That’s never a fun thing.”
He sighs, leaning back a little in his chair. “But it’s the right thing. And I know that,” he says. “I, uh… think I might be addicted. In a really bad way.”
I’m shocked to hear such a raw statement from Kieran. I exchange a glance with Niko and he gives me a sympathetic nod.
“You’re going to be okay, Kieran. You have a whole frat full of guys who want to help, and apparently there’s a counselor who deals with this stuff on campus, if you’re interested.”
We chat for a few minutes about last night and he apologizes profusely for hurting Noah, and for flying off the handle for the majority of the dinner.
He’s convinced that he ruined any chances with the exec he wanted to make a connection with last night, and he’s resigned himself to the fact that he isn’t going to be offered a position, even though the lawyer asked him to send over his resume a few days prior.
After Niko stays for five minutes like my moral support, he heads back to Onyx House.
I hang out with Kieran for a couple of hours, chilling in the living room and watching some cheesy 80s action movie on TV.
As the credits start to roll, Kier lazily picks up his phone, glancing at the screen.
He sits up straighter on the couch, his eyes widening.
“Holy shit,” he whispers.
I lean over and look at the screen.
He has an email from the Callahan law firm. An offer for a fully-paid summer internship, starting as soon as this school year is over.
I watch as Kieran’s eyes well up with tears, almost instantly.
“Knew you were going to get it,” I tell him.
“This is… actually life-changing,” he says. “And this is the first time I’ve felt hope in so fucking long, Sev.”
Kieran has no clue that Wes, Roman, and Noah actually may have helped to secure this deal. I have no idea if the Callahan firm was one of the companies that they were in contact with, but it doesn’t matter.
And maybe as the rest of the week goes on and more Daggers guys get their acceptances, they won’t try to fuck with Onyx House, and the brewing war won’t erupt.
And Wes and I won’t have to be afraid.
Of being together.
Of maybe being something more.