Chapter 25 Weston
Weston
“It can’t be him,” I tell Roman for the second time in a row, because I’m certain that what I’m seeing can’t be the truth.
“Cal Thorne. Previous employee of your father. Same guy that was showing his face at the alumni dinner,” Roman says.
He holds up a photo on his phone. It’s a past mugshot that’s clearly Cal. It’s attached to a report from early this evening, just a few hours ago.
Suspect Dead After 1-Hour Car Chase; Half-Kilogram of Laced Cocaine Found in Wreckage.
“It’s him,” I say, breathless for a moment as I lean on the edge of an auditorium seat. I give Roman a hard glare, something feeling unsettling inside. “Tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this.”
“I did not,” Roman says.
“And your family didn’t have anything to do with this? From the cocaine, to the car, to the crash?”
“Weston, the man got his hands on quick cash. Your quick cash. Then he went to a party in a rented sports car. I had nothing to do with this.”
I glance over at Sev.
He’s looking right at me.
A professor is talking to him, but I see a grim look on his face as he watches me.
I turn to Roman again. “You don’t think Sev could have anything to do with it, right?”
“I think your boyfriend would strangle Thorne to death for you if he got the chance,” Roman says, “but no, I highly doubt he was involved with this car wreck.”
When Sev finally breaks off and comes over to join us, he looks more scared than anything else.
“What’s going on?” he asks, immediately sliding his arm under my suit jacket, holding my waist tight.
Roman shows him the news article. “Thorne is dead.”
Sev’s expression drops as he looks at the phone. “Is this a joke?”
“It is very real,” Roman tells him.
After a pause, Sev looks like he’s ready to break down.
“No. No. It should have been me.”
“What are you talking about, Sev?” I ask.
He looks up at me with a fire in his gaze. “It should have been me who killed him. Fuck this fucking bullshit. He dies with cocaine up his nose in a fancy car? I would have tortured him for you, Wes. He deserved so much fucking worse.”
He turns to me and holds me close in a hug, and every time I think he’s about to let go, he doesn’t.
“Sevan, you didn’t have anything to do with this, did you?” I ask as I’m buried near his hair.
He pulls back, looking me in the eye. “Of course not. But I wish I did. I’m not doing anything that serious ever again without telling you first.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I feel him sigh in my arms, and it almost feels like a sob.
“I didn’t fix it,” he whispers, like he’s broken. “I couldn’t fix it on my own.”
My heart squeezes in my chest. He’s hugging me tight again, and I exhale, relief flooding me.
But I never expected Sevan to react like this. The most vulnerable I’ve ever seen him.
He really wanted to get revenge on Thorne.
When is the last time anyone other than my brother gave a shit about me like this?
Sev is rocked to his core, almost like he’s more shocked by Thorne’s death than I am.
“You already told me you’re done trying to fix everything around you,” I murmur at him.
“I know. God, I fucking know. I’m sorry, Wes.”
Thorne probably did deserve worse, and maybe should have been in prison for life.
But I don’t give a fuck anymore.
I’m done pretending I have control over my past, no matter what form it takes.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I know I’ll never be able to get rid of all the ghosts my father left,” I tell him. “But I’m not going to live half of a life, anymore. I’m going to take what I’m given. And I'm going to move on. I have to move on.”
“You’re right,” he says. “I hate it, but you are.”
Yes.
Thank God.
He’s still here. Still here with me.
I feel every beat of my heart against him.
“I’m just glad it’s over.”
“You’re allowed to be happy,” Sev says in a serious tone. “You should never feel guilty about that again.”
Sev acts strange for the rest of the night.
Not strange in a suspicious way, but just different, like he doesn’t want to step away from me. All of us go out to celebrate after the ceremony at a big, fancy restaurant in town, and Sev keeps a hand on me basically all the time, as if he’s afraid I might vanish into thin air otherwise.
He’s still in a suit from the ceremony, but many of the top buttons are open now, exposing the array of colorful tattoos at the top of his chest. Every time I look at him, I can hardly believe that man is mine.
And somehow, miraculously, he wants me, too.
After a long night of a few whiskeys that people purchase for him, he’s looser than usual, too. We pile into a car with Niko, who drives us back to Onyx House after sunset.
“Get over here,” Sev says to me the moment we’re back inside.
He grips the front of my collared shirt and gently pushes me until my back hits the wood paneling behind me in the front hallway.
All of the other guys are still in the living room or making their way toward the back of the house, but Sev doesn’t seem to give a damn if we’re in private or not.
“You’re saucy tonight,” I tell him as he leans over and sucks a slow, wet kiss at the nape of my neck. I arch my back a little under his touch.
“I would have hurt him for you,” he murmurs, and when he stares up at me, there’s a white-hot fire in the grey of his eyes. “Are you aware of that? I didn’t hurt him, but I wish I did.”
“Thorne?”
“Him. Or anyone who ever tries to fuck with you again,” Sev says in a low voice that’s close to a growl. “Still can’t fucking believe he had the nerve to do that. To try to hold any power over you.”
“Well, he’s gone.”
“I’m never letting that happen to you again. Ever.”
I bite my lower lip and he hums a little, bringing his thumb up to slide it over my lip when I release it.
“What’s with you tonight, Sev?” I murmur.
His gaze smolders. “Maybe I’m pent-up. And maybe I want to take it out on you.”
My cock throbs beneath my pants.
Why is that so goddamn good?
“Fuck, that is hot, Sev.”
“I need you. Right now.”
I run my fingertips up the front of his shirt and onto his exposed skin. “I’ve never had anyone like me this much.”
“Fuck, I feel like I could explode right now,” he says.
I hold his gaze. “Then come take it out on me. Upstairs.”
He lets out a long, slow sigh, his eyes going a little wide. “You sure you’re ready for that, baby?”
“I’ve been fucking ready for it all night.”
He grips my arm and pulls me toward the staircase like he’s a lion bringing back prized prey. Someone calls out to us from the kitchen as they see us walking down the hall.
“Going to play some poker, you guys in?”
“Not now,” Sev tosses back, and as I follow him up the stairs, I slide my palm up below his jacket, running it over the small of his back through the soft fabric of his shirt.
This is what I’ve been seeing in his mood all night, I realize.
Something feral.
He’s so pent-up he’s almost ravenous, and the idea of him needing to take that out on me is making my cock even harder as he pulls me into my room.
He kicks the door closed behind us and his mouth is on mine again. He’s pulling at my shirt buttons, undoing them one by one. I’m taking off my belt at the same time, stripping it away and tossing it to the side, shoving off the rest of my clothes.
“Need your skin on mine,” he says.
“Yes. Fuck yes.”
He crushes his lips to mine as I help him undo his own pants soon after. He refuses to stop kissing me even as he’s fumbling to get his clothes off, and we stumble further into the room until I fall to the floor, breathless underneath him.
And suddenly I’m looking up at the same dark angel I remember from that night at the Zenith party, feeling like that’s a thousand miles away from here.
That same raven tattoo along his forearm, with its dark wings.
And every inch of beautiful muscle adorning his body, while his eyes regard me like I’m something special.
Chosen, by him.
He slowly gets down on his knees to straddle me and I flip him over so that he’s the one with his back to the floor, and it’s as if his rabid fire is suddenly transferred to me.
I want to give him everything.
He pushes his fingers through my hair as I dip lower, moving down to his cock which is firm and waiting below, resting at the base of his abs.
I wrap my lips around his cock and take him deep, breathing in his familiar lightly spiced scent as I plunge lower.
We still don’t make sense, but the moment both of us broke through our walls there was no turning back.
Somehow, you became someone I could love.
As that word ripples through my mind, I’m flooded with heat.
Sev tugs at my hair, breathing as I flick my tongue under his tip, and it only makes me want to service his cock more. He was willing to do anything for me. He still is.
My own fierce protector, unleashed on the world.
“Needed you all fucking night, Weston,” he utters as I look up to catch his gaze. “Fuck, you’re perfect like this.”
I run my hands along his abs and up toward his chest, then slide my mouth down around his shaft.
I can feel his need to get off.
It’s something I’m growing attuned to, something I hope I can coax out of him every goddamn day of my life.
He’s bucking his hips up against me so hard that my nose is mashing up against the soft skin just above his cock. I grip his hips hard, and he brings one hand to rest gently at the front of my throat.
“I can feel it,” he utters. “Feel myself sliding into you. Every… fucking… movement.”
All I feel is pride.
He groans deeply as he feels my throat like that, and a moment later I feel the heat of his cum hit the back of my tongue as his entire body tenses.
There’s no other way to describe it, if it’s not love, I think, even now as I’m worshipping his cock and he uses my throat like it’s his prized possession.
I love it when he’s gentle, and I fucking love it when he’s rough.
I love every shade and facet of Sevan Berlant, including every side I thought I hated so much before.
And I love the way his body shudders, just a little, as I swallow around him, taking all of him inside me.
“Perfect,” he whispers again, this time with a faraway tone.
I slide off his cock slowly, my mouth feeling used in the best way. I give his slicked cock one little squeeze around the base and the last bit of cum spills from his slit, and I gently go back in to lick it away.
“All mine,” I tell him.
I move up a little on the floor, bringing my knees to either side of him and moving up to kiss him, and he doesn’t hesitate at all to slide his tongue on mine.
I moan into his mouth as I feel his fist close around my aching cock between us.
It’s mashed between our two bodies, trapped between his abs and now fucking the tight channel he’s making with his fist, and the sensation is quick and unexpected and already so goddamn good.
I buck my hips fast.
I need release more than I even realized.
And with Sev kissing me deeply like this, his tongue sliding into my mouth like he’s royalty claiming his land, the potent mix of sensations is far better than it has any right to be.
“Fuck,” I whine as I break off from his kiss to breathe but keep my mouth right near his, our lips knocking against each other as I fuck his fist.
I don’t have any control over it.
I’m going to let go sooner rather than later, and there’s no chance in hell I want to stop.
I brace myself with one hand pressing into the floor at Sev’s side, and the other hand lacing through his hair.
“Come for me,” he utters. “Give me all of it.”
“Love it… love it so fucking much—”
I was so close to saying something else.
I look into Sev’s eyes as the wave crests inside me and I tense up, moaning for him as he grips my cock and I start to come, painting his fist and his chest in white.
It spills over him, marking his tattoos, his nipples, the ridges of his upper abs.
Because he’s mine.
He wraps his hands around the back of my head and tugs me down into another hard, feral kiss.
The world feels surreal as my joints go wobbly and I let myself collapse back onto the floor beside him, both of us catching our breath as we look up at the ceiling.
“I want it to be like this forever,” Sev says in a low voice a minute later.
“It can be,” I tell him. “And no matter what changes, I’m not ever going to get tired of you.”
“Has anyone ever told you you’re too nice, Weston?”
“No. People told me I was… rigid. Proper.”
He turns his head to the side to look over at me. I love it when his hair is all fucked up like it is now, falling in tendrils all around his face like his own dark crown.
“Even when you’re all those things, I love that, too.”
Something shoots through my nerves like a little jolt of lightning.
And I realize I’m not going to be able to hold it back.
Not now.
Not when he looks at me like this.
“Sev, I’m…” I say, but my breath is stolen from my lungs before I can finish.
“Talk to me.”
I swallow hard. “I think I’m in love with you.”
I close my eyes for a moment.
It feels like a confession. Like I’m in a booth, waiting for my judgment, like I’ve committed some mortal sin he won’t be able to forgive.
And when I open my eyes, I swear he’s looking into my soul.
“I’ve been falling in love with you, against my own will, every single time I’m near you, Weston,” he says.
He reaches up to push a lock of my hair away from my forehead.
And I feel like I was plunging down to Earth thinking I didn’t have a parachute, but now, he’s just come to catch me with his own.
My body tingles all over.
“Then I guess we’re both out of our minds,” I say.
“We are.”
He stands up gracefully and holds out his hand to help me up, and I’m struck by how easy it is for him now. His legs have almost fully healed. The outside has completely thawed into a vibrant spring.
And I feel new, too.
Like I’m just about to begin.
I reach up and stand next to him, smiling like an idiot.
“I love you,” I say simply.
“I love you, too,” he tells me before leaning forward to give my lower lip a little bite. “Now come shower off with me and let’s go smoke the rest of those guys in poker.”
Even as we shower, I can’t keep my hands off of him.
He washes me, and I wash him, and when we finally do go downstairs, we’re completely and fully allowed to be ourselves.
I don’t feel scared of new things. Not anymore.
I don’t feel a pang of envy when I see Ollie with Niko, or even Rayne with Hunter.
Seeing everyone down here feels better than anything I’ve ever had before. A world of my own. Agency and independence, with Sev instead of on my own.
A reckless love that’s all my own.
Exactly how I fucking like it.