Maddy
MADDY
I sit in my room, feeling like I’m going insane being alone in this silence.
The phone that Cat gave me sits on the nightstand, unused except for the occasional glance, but I haven’t texted anyone. I don’t know what to say to any of them. I haven’t even checked my social media.
That version of Madison Graves is dead.
But there’s another thing I can’t shake. Every time I close my eyes, I’m back in Mihai’s arms, feeling his steady heartbeat against me, pulling me back from the edge of the panic that had swallowed me whole.
Even now, days later, I can still feel the way his arms cradled me, the solid warmth of his chest as he murmured to me in Romanian, his words as soothing as his hold.
The scent of his cologne still clings to my memory. Bergamot, sandalwood, patchouli and something…warm. Somehow it calmed me down and a part of me hates it.
The panic attack was brutal, relentless. It came out of nowhere, a wave of suffocating memories, all the things I’ve been trying to keep buried. And when Mihai found me, I was already too far gone, shaking, struggling just to breathe, trapped in a mental prison of my own making.
But he didn’t hesitate. He didn’t ask questions. He just acted.
There’s a knock at the door, and I freeze as my heart jumps into my throat. I’ve gotten used to the quiet, so any noise feels like a disruption, like the world’s reminding me I’m not invisible. The knock comes again, gentle but persistent, and after a moment, I stand and open the door.
Connor is leaning against the doorframe with an easy grin on his face, his green eyes sparkling with a mischievous charm. He’s only wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, but somehow he still manages to look like he stepped out of a magazine.
“Hey, darlin’,” he says, his Irish accent soft and charming in a way that makes me feel like he’s talking only to me. “Mind if I come in? Or would you prefer I stayed out here, where it’s a bit less cozy?”
I hesitate, but I step back, letting him walk inside. Something tells me that Connor is trustworthy, even if he looks like he could easily kill someone with his bare hands.
He moves with a kind of confidence that I don’t understand—like he’s completely comfortable in his own skin. It makes me feel even more self-conscious, and I never used to be that way.
Connor turns to me and crosses his arms. “Mihai told me about the phone,” he says, nodding toward it. “Good call from my baby sister, huh? Now you’ve got a way to reach out if you ever need anythin’. Do you mind if I put my number in there?”
I shake my head, not trusting myself to make eye contact. I can feel his gaze on me, though, and it makes my skin tingle. I hold out the phone without looking at him and he hands it back not soon after.
He’s… charming. The kind of guy who’s effortlessly fit, the kind who probably has no shortage of women throwing themselves at him.
And yet, he’s here, talking to me for some reason.
But he doesn’t seem to notice the way my mind is spinning. Instead, he pulls out a chair and sits down, looking at me like he’s genuinely here to help. Then he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees.
“So,” he says, his tone light. “Here’s the deal. I’m not here to pressure you or anythin’. I’m just here to… listen. Or, you know, talk. Whichever you’re in the mood for. No expectations.”
I glance down at the floor, feeling that familiar knot of anxiety tightening in my chest. I can’t talk. He knows that. So what’s the point?
Connor, however, doesn’t seem fazed. “And if you don’t feel like saying anything, that’s cool too. I’m just gonna sit here and look pretty until you decide what you want to do.” I look up and he winks, flashing that grin that probably works on every girl he meets.
I feel my face heat up, the way it always does when I’m not sure how to respond. It’s not that Connor’s flirting is unwelcome—it’s just… unexpected. Guys like him don’t usually pay attention to girls like me.
Not that I’m ugly, but I’m curvy, softer than the women you’d expect to catch his eye. And definitely not the type to banter back with charm.
I pull my arms around myself, suddenly self-conscious about how I must look to him. My tank top and shorts feel too revealing, too… me. I don’t know why it matters, but it does. I sit down on the edge of the bed, trying not to feel like I’m out of place, even though I do.
Connor’s gaze softens, and for a moment, he looks at me like he actually sees me. Not the broken girl Mihai’s supposed to protect. What is it with him and Cat having the same way with people?
“You don’t have to worry,” he says gently. “I’m not here to make things worse for you. If anything, I’m here to try and make things a little better.”
He blows out a breath. “Mihai, he’s… a good guy, yeah? But he’s all about keepin’ you safe, makin’ sure nothing happens to you. And that’s great, but sometimes you need someone who isn’t just watchin’ your back 24/7. Sometimes you need someone who gets it, who knows what’s going on in here.” He taps his temple, his green eyes locking on mine.
I blink, surprised at how easily he’s getting me.
“I’m studying psychology,” he continues, his voice a bit softer now. “I’m not saying I’ve got all the answers, but I know a thing or two about how the mind works. And I know that what you’ve been through leaves a mark; one people aren’t really aware of.”
I look down at my hands as the familiar shame and guilt creep back in.
If I hadn’t chosen that restaurant; if I hadn’t ? —
“Hey,” Connor’s voice pulls me out of the spiral. “I can tell you’re trapped inside your own head right now. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
I glance up at him, my heart racing. How does he know? How can he see through me like that?
“So, here’s what we’ll do,” he says, clapping his hands together like he’s just made a decision. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’ll handle the conversation. We can just hang out, and if there’s anything you need, you can use that fancy new phone of yours to let me know.”
He shoots me another grin, and it’s so disarming that I feel the tension in my shoulders start to ease just a little. My mind’s still spinning, but his energy is grounding in a way I didn’t expect.
Then I nod.
“There we go,” he says, giving me a nod of approval. “Now, I was thinking maybe we could start small. I’ll ask you some random questions, and you can just nod, shake your head, or text me your answers if that’s easier. Sounds good?”
I hesitate for a moment before nodding. It feels weird, but it’s not overwhelming. I can handle this. I hope.
“Alright then, maybe I can get a smile out of you, too,” he says, leaning back again. “Let’s start easy. Favorite color?”
I blink, surprised by the simplicity of the question, but I pull out my phone and type:
Blue.
“Blue, huh?” Connor says, smiling. “Good choice. Calm, reliable, easy on the eyes. Kind of like me, right?”
I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks, and I quickly look away, but Connor laughs softly.
“Okay, next one. Cats or dogs?”
I hesitate, then type:
Dogs.
“Nice, a dog person,” he says, nodding approvingly. “Good, good. I’ve got two rottweilers back home; I’ve had them since they were pups, but Cat hates them. Wonder if it’s because of her nickname.”
I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from smiling at that stupid-ass joke. There’s something comforting about his easy chatter, the way he keeps things light. It makes me feel less like I’m drowning in my own head, even if just for a little while.
“Alright, here’s a tricky one,” Connor says, grinning. “Coffee or tea?”
This one makes me pause. I type:
Both.
He raises an eyebrow, impressed. “Ah, a woman of taste! Can’t go wrong with either.”
I allow myself a small smile, and when he sees it, his grin widens like he’s just won some kind of victory. “See? Told you I’d get a smile out of you!”
I shake my head, feeling a little embarrassed but also… lighter. It’s not much, but right now, it’s enough.
Connor leans forward again, his tone softening as he looks at me. “—Ehm, do you mind if I call you ?” he asks and I shake my head. “Good. I know things are hard right now, and I know you probably don’t want to hear a lecture about how things get better or whatever. But I want you to know that I’m here for you. For real. And not just because Mihai told me to be.”
I blink, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. He’s not teasing anymore, not playing up that charming persona. He’s being real, and it makes me feel something I haven’t felt in a long time—hope.
“If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, you can text me, okay?” he says, his eyes locking onto mine. “No pressure. No expectations. Just… know that I’ve got your back.”
I look down at the phone in my hands, my fingers hovering over the screen before I type:
Thank you.
Connor smiles softly when I show him the screen. “No problem, darlin’. Anytime.”
He stands up, giving me one last glance before heading for the door. “I’ll check in on you again soon. Don’t be a stranger, yeah?”
I nod, and just before he leaves, he gives me a little wink. “Take care of yourself, .”
As the door closes behind him, I sit there for a moment, staring at the phone in my hand. The room feels a little less oppressive now, a little less suffocating. Connor’s presence, his easy charm, it’s like a small light inside the darkness I’ve been trapped in.