Maddy
MADDY
T he room feels too big tonight. Too quiet. I’ve turned on every light, even have music playing in the background, but it’s no use. The silence still presses in, heavy and suffocating, like it’s wrapping itself around me.
I sit on the edge of the bed, arms hugging my knees, staring at the door like it might burst open at any second. My heart hasn’t stopped racing since Mihai left earlier. I told him I’d be fine. That I needed some time to myself. But now, alone in the stillness, I feel like I’m unraveling.
Everything crashes down at once.
My mind won’t stop spinning. It’s like someone hit rewind and play at the same time. I feel my throat closing up and my chest tightening. It’s like every bad thing has circled back, ready to rip me apart all over again.
Mum and Isla laughing at the restaurant.
The way the gunshots shattered the air, cutting through their joy.
The blood.
The screams.
Sofia’s slap, the sting on my cheek a fraction of what her words cut into me.
That man in my room, his knife pressing against my skin.
And finally, Nikolai’s name slipping out of my mouth, detonating a bomb between people who used to call each other brothers.
I didn’t mean to ruin everything, didn’t mean to break their brotherhood. But with one careless slip, I shattered something so much bigger than me.
My breathing turns shallow, ragged as I claw at my throat, desperate for air, but it’s like my lungs are refusing to work. I can’t get enough oxygen, can’t think, can’t calm the storm raging inside me. My skin feels too tight and my clothes unbearable.
I strip off my sweatshirt, then my tank top, desperate to free myself from the invisible grip on my chest. My heart pounds, each beat a hammer against my ribs. My hands clutch my chest, and I fall to the floor, my bare knees hitting the cold wood.
“Breathe,” I whisper to myself, but the words feel hollow. My chest heaves, my vision blurs, and I know I’m spiraling.
I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking breathe.
Tears blur my vision, and a strangled sob escapes my lips. My head spins, and I can’t stop it. The walls feel like they’re closing in, the air thick and heavy. I’m going to die right here, all alone.
I rock back and forth, gasping for air that won’t come. My thoughts spiral out of control, too loud, too fast.
And then…
Something changes. A familiar scent washes over me. It’s sharp and citrusy at first, then rich and earthy, with just a hint of sweetness. Bergamot. Patchouli. Sandalwood. It cuts through the panic like a lifeline, grounding me in a way nothing else has.
Creed Aventus.
Mihai’s cologne.
The smell pulls me back, tethering me to the present. It feels like I’ve been drowning, and this scent is the rope pulling me to the surface. When I open my eyes, his face is there, hovering above me, worry etched into every line.
His dark eyes lock onto mine, wide with alarm. His curls are wild, his brows drawn together, and I can hear the quick rise and fall of his breath.
“,” he says, his voice rough, urgent. “Look at me.”
I try, but my chest still feels like it’s caving in. His hands cup my face gently, his thumbs brushing away tears I didn’t realize were falling.
“Breathe with me,” he says, his accent softer now, grounding.
“In—” He inhales deeply, his chest rising as he holds the breath. “And out.” He exhales, long and steady.
I try to follow, but it’s shaky, uneven. “I—can’t,” I manage to gasp.
“You can, iubit? mea ,” he insists, his forehead resting against mine. “You’re safe. You’re with me. Just breathe.”
His voice wraps around me, steady and commanding, and I force myself to focus on him. On his scent. On the way his hands feel warm and strong against my face.
“In,” he repeats, his tone firm but soothing. He takes another exaggerated breath, and I mimic him, pulling in air slowly. “Good. Now out.”
I let it go, my chest still tight but not as crushing. He nods, a small smile tugging at his lips as he continues. “Again. In... and out.”
We repeat the process until my breaths start to match his, the vise on my chest loosening bit by bit. My trembling slows, my vision clears, and the panic fades to a dull throb in the back of my mind.
“That’s it,” he murmurs, brushing his thumb along my cheek again. “There’s my girl.”
“I—” My voice cracks, barely audible. “I couldn’t breathe.”
“You’re okay now,” he assures me, his voice low and steady. “I’ve got you.”
I blink up at him, his face coming into sharper focus. There’s a rawness in his expression I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. “How… how did you know?”
He swallows; his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I was coming to check on you,” he admits. “I didn’t like the idea of you being alone after everything. I heard you, . Heard you crying.”
Another wave of emotion hits me, but this time it’s not panic. It’s something warmer, something that makes my chest ache in a different way.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He brushes a tear from my cheek, his thumb lingering there. “You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always come for you.”
He pulls me into his arms without hesitation, holding me tightly against his chest. His warmth seeps into me, chasing away the lingering chill of fear. I bury my face in his shirt, inhaling the familiar scent of him—of safety.
We sit like that for a while, neither of us speaking. His hand rubs soothing circles on my back, and my breathing finally evens out.
“I’m sorry,” I say, guilt threading through my words.
“Don’t,” he interrupts, his tone firm. “Don’t apologize for this. You’ve been through hell, . It’s normal to feel this way.”
I nod, even though his words only ease a fraction of the weight pressing down on me. “It’s just… everything. It’s too much. My mum, Isla, the shootouts, Sofia, Nikolai… all of it. It’s like I can’t escape it.”
His jaw tightens, his hand flexing against my shoulder. “You’re not supposed to carry all that on your own, . That’s why I’m here. That’s why we’re all here.”
I look up at him, his dark eyes searching mine, and for a moment, I wonder how I ended up with someone like Mihai in my corner. He’s so strong, so steady, even when everything around him is chaos. And yet here he is, holding me together when I can’t do it myself.
“You make it sound so easy,” I whisper.
“It’s not,” he admits, his voice softening. “But nothing worth fighting for ever is.”
His words settle deep in my chest, calming the storm inside me. I let out a shaky breath, leaning into him again. His arms tighten around me, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel like I’m not completely falling apart.
“Do me a favor, baby,” he asks and I nod. “Stop scaring the shit out of me like this.”
A small laugh escapes me, and he pulls back just enough to cup my face, his thumbs wiping away the tears on my cheeks.
“There’s my girl,” he murmurs, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “That’s better.”
I blush at his words, but I can’t bring myself to pull away from him. He studies me for a moment, his gaze softening.
“Come on,” he says, standing and holding out a hand to me. “You need to rest.”
I take his hand, letting him help me up. My legs are shaky, but he keeps a steady grip on me as he guides me to the bed.
“Stay?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
His eyes search mine, and he nods. “Always.”