9. Cade
Chapter nine
Cade
Work hasn’t been easy to focus on. The winery deal has been touch-and-go for me and the Roses, who are having trouble agreeing on a set price. It seems that regardless of what I say to them, they are unwilling to sell. The thing is, the winery has been passed down for generations, until now. The current generation chose to follow a different path and would rather sell it to someone who will keep the vision alive. It isn’t that they don’t believe I’m willing to do just that; it’s the letting go part that they’re having trouble with.
It’s hard to say goodbye to anything that means something to you, but it’s even harder to watch it deteriorate before your very eyes. I know that firsthand. Grief is something I’ve never been good with, though, granted, I haven’t had much of it to deal with. But I still know it’s a difficult process. Enduring the pain of losing something or someone isn’t something I ever want to experience again, though I’d be foolish to assume I won’t.
I know grief and loss, heartbreak and fleeting moments. It all feels very depressing to think about, but we all go through with it. It’s part of why I’m struggling. Since our conversation, Sloane and I haven’t spoken, not even a text. I’m overanalyzing every second of our time together that night, and I still can’t place exactly where I went wrong.
I’ve thought about reaching out to her, but it seems like she wanted her space. Is it wrong of me to want her to chase me? It’s silly, but I miss her.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as thoughts of her keep me awake. Liam was asleep when I got home from my meeting at the winery, so I think I’ll surprise him with pancakes tomorrow morning. I sigh as I turn on my side, attempting to get comfortable, but it’s impossible. Sloane is anywhere and everywhere my thoughts will go, and I can’t escape it.
I groan and take the nearest pillow, covering my head with it. I shouldn’t want to like this woman, but I can’t help it. She’s the drug I can’t ignore, the one that I want more of. Like an addict, I crave her. When she first arrived, it felt like something out of the blue, but the more time I spent with her, the lighter I felt just by being around her. Everything seems to make sense, and for a moment, I forget all my troubles, even though I know she’s dealing with her own.
I need to talk to her. I need to be honest with my feelings.
With that realization, I feel consciousness waning, my eyes closing with thoughts of Sloane and a potential future.
“Dad.”
A future with Liam and maybe another kid. Does Sloane even want kids?
“Dad.”
I see flashes of moments that project like memories that have yet to occur. Different vacations, viewing an art gallery. Sloane getting an award, and she thanks me for my encouragement, calling me her husband.
“Dad!” My eyes shoot open, adjusting to the sunlight spilling through my window. I look up and see Liam standing there, still in his pajamas.
“Sorry, buddy,” I say, stretching and yawning as I try to wake up. “I had trouble getting to sleep last night.”
“Because of that lady?” he asks.
My head shoots up in alarm. “What lady?”
“Sloane,” Liam says.
I sit up and stare at him, shocked. How does he know Sloane?
“She came by yesterday afternoon. She saw the room you made for her,” he says.
I give him a small smile. “And? What did she think?” I ask, hoping he will cough up the goods so I’m not left in suspense.
He smiles. “She liked it. She promised me a dinosaur spitting fire and shooting green lasers from its eyes,” he says so excitedly that I can’t help but laugh. His infectious spirit and imagination continue to surprise me.
“I’m sure it’s going to be lit,” I say teasingly.
Liam grimaces at me, shaking his head. “Dad! No! Don’t ever use the word ‘lit’ ever again,” he says, scolding me for my poor attempt to be as cool as him.
I laugh. “Noted.” I sigh and stretch once more. “How about I meet you downstairs, and we’ll make some pancakes?” I suggest.
Liam jumps up happily and runs off. I smile softly as I watch him go, wondering if Sloane was as delighted by him as I am.
But then it hits me: Sloane met Liam. She knows I have a son. A son I never told her about.
“Shit,” I curse under my breath. If I thought I could openly lay out my feelings for her, guess again. She’s probably pissed at me for keeping Liam from her. And besides, what if she doesn’t want kids? If she doesn’t, then it was nice while it lasted, which wasn’t long. I’m a package deal, so if you want me, you’ll have to want Liam, too.
I need to talk to her.
But maybe not right away.
Later in the evening, I drop off Liam at Mike’s to have a sleepover with Mike’s son, Landon. They’re only a few years apart in age, but they’re a lot like Mike and I when we were kids—inseparable. Since neither Mike nor I have any other kids, our sons are basically the closest thing they have to brothers.
On my way back, I stop by the rental property to look over the finishing touches the contractor made. The house was a fixer-upper. What stood out was the spiraling landscape that the home was nestled on, but it needed a lot of refurbishing. My hope is to get a family to rent the property for a little less than market value, so they never have to worry about struggling.
That’s always been my mission when I developed my company. If I have the means, I want to help wherever possible. I believe no man should have all this money and sit on it for himself. Greed isn’t in my vocabulary when I describe myself, and I refuse to be associated with it.
I pull up to the property and look over at the Bennett house. Sloane’s bedroom light illuminates the second-story window, and for a moment, I stop what I’m doing, hoping I’ll see her pass by.
What are you thinking, Cade? If she sees you, she’ll probably come out to give you a piece of her mind.
Before I can even finish the thought, I see her shadow walk by her window, causing me to duck behind my car.
Real smooth, Cade. She won’t find you behind my Porsche.
Yes, it’s the exact Porsche she saw me driving during the bridal shower. The one she rode in.
When I look back up, she’s gone, allowing me to breathe a sigh of relief. As I stand up straighter, though, I notice movement across the way. A dark figure slowly makes their way through the front bushes, looking up at Sloane’s window.
Who the hell is this person?
Anger swirls inside me as I forget all about hiding from Sloane. The most important thing is getting this guy as far away from the house as possible.
“Hey!” I yell to the figure.
They whip around, but I can’t make out their face. Instead, they scramble up from their spot and quickly collect their belongings.
“Get back here!” I yell once more, knowing they won’t turn around and willingly let me make a citizen’s arrest on them. I hop over the fence and start chasing them across the Bennett’s property. In the distance, I hear the front door open and close, but my mind is too focused on getting them.
Unfortunately, when we reach the wheat field, he dips inside it, leaving me with no line of sight in the darkness. I take a deep breath and continue to watch the field until I finally head back and face the music with Sloane.
When I walk back, I see her standing on the front porch in shorts and a tank top, looking like she was getting ready to go to bed. Her arms are folded, and I sigh deeply as I slowly walk up the steps.
“What the hell was that?” she demands.
I point to where the mysterious figure ran off. “Somebody was parked outside your house, looking through your window,” I tell her, and Sloane’s eyes widen in shock. “I scared him off, but something tells me it isn’t the last time they will come around.”
Something unnerving settles in Sloane’s eyes: fear, doubt, confusion. All of it seems to be pointing to the same thing.
Sloane needs protection.
She meets my eyes again, and suddenly, the fear is washed away and filled with hurt and anger. “When were you planning on telling me about Liam?” she asks.
I look away guiltily. I should have told her, even if nothing ever happened between us. Everyone else in her family knew about him, so why should she be any different? I try to reason to myself that it’s a matter of safety and security, but really, I only focused on telling people who actively saw me more than in ten-year increments.
“I wanted to, but things became complicated between us,” I begin. She looks at me, confused, and I shake my head. “Sloane, you don’t know what it’s like to date someone who has a child. My son means everything to me, and if I’m ever going to bring another woman into his life, I have to know she is in it not just with me, but Liam, too.”
She looks down, and I think she understands why I didn’t tell her. She meets my eyes again. “So you are thinking of bringing me into your life as something other than a friend?”
It’s my turn to be confused, and I stare at her. “I thought that was obvious.”
She holds her hands up and shakes her head before crossing her arms. “You’ve been giving me mixed signals since the day I got here, Cade. You make all these flirty comments, are there for me when I need you, and now you’ve built me an art studio in your house. And in between all of this, you tell me we should forget the night at O’Malley’s ever happened, get random phone calls from other women, and tell me all the reasons why we shouldn’t see this through.”
I sigh deeply because she’s right. I haven’t been transparent, and not just about Liam, but my feelings, too. I’ve tried my hardest to repress them, but I’m tired of trying.
“You’re right,” I say, then I frown as something she said dawns on me. “Wait a minute… random women?” What random women have been calling me that she knows about and I don’t?
She rolls her eyes. “The night we left the bridal shower and ‘Janet’ called? Listen, I’d rather not get hurt, so if you’d rather play the field, that’s okay.”
I shake my head, laughing slightly. I take her hands in mine and lick my lips. “Janet isn’t a random woman,” I tell her as she attempts to take her hands back, but I hold them tighter. “Janet is Liam’s grandmother. He was visiting her, but he wanted to come home early. She wanted to let me know.”
She lets out a deep breath, her whole body shuddering along with her. I chuckle as she sits up straighter, tears welling up in her eyes. I wipe them away with my thumbs.
“You’re it, Sloane,” I tell her softly. “So let’s dive into this.”
She looks at me, biting her bottom lip as I anticipate her answer. She finally nods, and I chuckle happily, wrapping my arms around her to hold her close, feeling the weight of the world lift from my shoulders.
She wraps her arms around my waist and buries her head into my chest, seeking out the warmth I can provide. It’s tender and loving and everything we’ve been working up towards. But we still have a long way to go.
“Will you go out with me tomorrow?” I ask her as she looks up, smiling excitedly and nodding. “Make sure you pack. I have something amazing planned,” I add.
She looks perplexed. I don’t want to reveal too much, but I’m looking forward to spoiling her with this date. I know materialistic things aren’t Sloane’s vibe, but I’ve wanted to spoil her ever since I was able to understand my feelings. I want her to have experiences I get to have all the time, but also the experiences I know she won’t ever have with anyone else but me.
“Any requests?” she asks, and I smile.
“Dress comfortably for most of it, and something more formal for later on,” I answer, as if that’s the best hint she will get. “Oh, and show up,” I add.
She laughs and presses a kiss to my cheek. “I wouldn’t miss it.”