12. Sloane
Chapter twelve
Sloane
It’s been a few days since my date with Cade, and the full impact of it hasn’t set in yet. The reality is that it should have been perfect. Everything he had planned was a dream come true for me and catered to all my interests—well, except for the fancy dinner; I haven’t been to many of those. Still, everything was tailored perfectly, except for the part where it mattered most: the conversation.
But no matter how beautiful the night was, without stimulating conversation—much less him showing he’s genuinely interested in me—then we will be forever stuck as a fling. It’s not something I want to think about, but it is, unfortunately, a necessary evil.
We were doomed before we even began.
Perhaps we were never destined to be anything more than a fling. We are completely different people with polar opposite lives. He is a billionaire “philanthropist,” and I’m an artist who’s managed to have one measly stroke of luck. He’s also a decade older than me. Normally, that wouldn’t bother me—age is just a number—but he’s had more experience in life than I have. He’s seen and done things that I’ve barely scratched the service of. At least, I think he has.
Not to mention, he has a son. Was he married before, and if so, why did no one tell me?
Truthfully, the Cade Hart everyone else knows isn’t the one I know, because I don’t know him at all. I left for art school, and I never looked back. Cade was long gone doing Lord knows what and would only return at the most bizarre times.
He showed up at my high school graduation with Mike. It was sweet but completely unnecessary. He didn’t show up to Christmas or Thanksgiving or the months leading up to them, though. It didn’t make sense, and I remember Mike being disappointed, but not that disappointed. It always felt like he knew more than he let on, but Mike is Cade’s best friend, so that was only natural.
But now is a completely different story. Cade is actively attempting to pursue something with me. Whatever it is, I’m still unsure, but it’s something. Does he only want occasional hookups to get his rocks off until I return to the city? Is he hiding his feelings in a poor attempt to protect himself? And to what lengths is he willing to go to pursue whatever this is with me?
The entire situation is toxic. I didn’t sign up to return to Rose Valley to hook up with my brother’s best friend, and I certainly didn’t sign up to be stuck in the equivalent of writer’s block for an artist, but here I am in both. I’m two years shy of my dirty thirty, and the last thing I want is to be involved in this unnecessary drama. All I want is to keep striving for success in the career I’ve advocated for ever since I discovered it.
Is that so wrong?
I hate this feeling. Not just the Cade situation, but that letter rattled me. It left my skin crawling and tension rolling up my spine. I notified Mike after I got it, hoping that the local police would at least have some inkling of what to do. But despite how seriously Mike took it, he warned me that the likelihood that the rest of the police department would was another matter. Mike is my brother, so any potential harm against me will always be deadly serious to him, but it’s just one letter. Until there are others, the department will likely not give a shit—Mike’s words, not mine.
My phone vibrates beside me, and I see Mia’s name and photo appear on the screen. I ignore it for the tenth time in three days. Guilt washes over me as I know I’m failing at my responsibilities as her maid of honor, but I can’t tell her about all of this. I can’t tell her about Cade because she will surely tell Killian or, worse, Mike. I can’t tell her about the letter, either—like Mike already established, it’s one letter. While he is on alert, I fear Mia’s reaction will be the same as Cade’s: indifferent and explanatory. And he could be right; it could just be someone trying to scare me, or it’s some sort of prank.
But I’m not laughing, and why target me? I haven’t lived here in over a decade, and the one time I come visit, I’m being pranked?
Excuse me for calling bullshit.
No, this is personal. I can feel it, and if no one else will take it seriously, I will. And if that means flaking on Mia to protect myself, then so be it.
After a long-winded moment, my phone vibrates again, and it’s Mia.
That’s eleven times.
I stare at it for a few seconds as it continues to ring, wondering if I should send it to voicemail like the rest of her calls. I already came to the conclusion I was better off ignoring all of Mia’s calls and everyone else’s, but now I’m starting to second-guess myself.
I grumble under my breath, but as I reach for the phone, it stops ringing altogether. I sigh, allowing the relief to wash over me, until my door flies open and Mia walks in with her phone in hand.
She looks displeased, as expected. I could try to talk my way out of this, but what would be the point? I deserve every word she plans to level at me.
“You’ve been ignoring me,” she says tersely.
Yeah, that much is evident. She had to drive all the way to our parents’ house just to get me to speak to her.
“Did I do something?” she asks. “Because unless I did something wrong, you shouldn’t ignore my calls when you’re my maid of honor.”
It’s condescending but valid. I’m here in Rose Valley for her, after all, not anyone else. There is no explanation for it.
“I’m sorry,” I say, as that’s the best and only response I can offer. I haven’t been there for her the way a maid of honor— a sister —should be. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own garbage that I’m failing her, and it isn’t right.
An eerie silence fills my childhood bedroom, and I’m left in this swirl of doubt with Mia. I wouldn’t blame her if she decided to make one of her friends her maid of honor instead of me now. But isn’t it too late?
“What’s going on with you?” she asks, and I look up as she stares at me with a mix of concern and frustration. Concern wasn’t what I expected to see, but I don’t blame her for it. My entire family knows I’ve kept my distance from them for a while, so this behavior isn’t exactly new.
“I…” I want to tell her everything. It’s on the tip of my tongue, like a bitter aftertaste, but it refuses to leave me. “It—it feels weird being back is all.”
Which isn’t entirely far from the truth. I’ve been gone a long time, and a lot has changed. Cade pretty much owns the entire town now, with all the investments and bailouts he’s made, and on top of all of that, I don’t fit in anywhere anymore. Every friend I ever had decided to fall in line with what was expected of them—never to cross more than two towns over, get married, get a job at one of the schools or city hall, then pop out a few children to continue the legacy. That was never my dream, but at the time, people here were encouraging toward me, always saying to me, “You’re going to go on to become a famous artist and forget us little people.”
But I never forgot, not really. I remembered every friend who made my childhood special, their faces, their likes and dislikes, and the exes I dated and hated but my parents adored— everyone. But none of that matters because to them, I did forget them.
“Is that why you left my bridal shower?” she asks, and I swallow hard. I can’t tell her that Cade convinced me to leave or that the reason I was gone last week was because I jet-set to Colorado when I should have been here, probably helping pick out the bouquets.
I nod distantly, looking away in shame. It isn’t an act; I am embarrassed, but probably not as much as I should be.
Mia closes her eyes and takes a deep, calming breath, most likely as an attempt to center herself. This feeling has been resting on her shoulders for a week now, and as her younger sister, I know she wants to tread carefully with words. At the same time, I’d deserve the tongue-lashing if it meant she needed to get it out of her system.
“I need you to do better. Can you do that?” she asks as nicely as possible.
Knowing her response could have been much worse, I allow myself to quit while I’m ahead. I nod in reply, not wanting any words I might say to dig me into a deeper hole than I’m already in.
She nods, walking to my door and turning before leaving the bedroom. “I’ll need you to be around for your fitting this week,” she says, not leaving any room for me to cancel. Not that I could, anyway, because she walks out, shutting the door behind her.
I fall back against my pillows and let out a deep breath, groaning as tension rolls down my spine. How did everything become such a mess? My collection isn’t anywhere close to being done, Mia is pissed off at me because I’m being a shitty maid of honor, and despite all of that, I still can’t get Cade out of my head.
It’s his fault.
It’s easier to blame him for all of this. He’s distracting me from my work and my obligations to my family. He’s the reason I haven’t been fulfilling my duties to Mia. Maybe this separation is for the best since, clearly, Cade has no actual feelings for me.
I’m the fool who fell for the Joker.
Good. This is good.
I take a deep breath and let it out, feeling at peace with my decision. That is, until I hear the unmistakable sound of my phone vibrating on my side table. I turn as the screen glows and pick it up to see Cade’s name.
Curiosity be damned, right?
Meet me at the marina. - Cade
How romantic—not.
I should ignore it. I should tell him I’d rather watch paint dry—and trust me, I have. But something holds me back from speaking with my head: my heart. I wish I could get them both on the same page, but the reality isn’t quite so simple.
With my phone in my hand, I type my reply, getting up before I change my mind:
I’ll be there. - Sloane
…
I near the marina in all its decrepit glory, the sun inches below the horizon. Splinters and rotted railings line the walkway as I take in the full weight of the last decade. The poor upkeep and lost memories fill this place with sadness, but as I near the dock and see Cade fiddling with the seats of his pontoon boat, hope replaces it. He just secured a deal to save this place and restore the magic that made it so special to all of us. I’m holding onto all the good he’s been doing for the town, allowing that to fuel the grace I’m offering him. But I still find myself questioning if it’s worth it anymore.
I step along the side of the boat. He looks up and lets out a deep breath as soon as he sees me. “I owe you an explanation,” he says.
“You owe me more than an explanation,” I reply, trying my best to ignore the flex of his bicep as he tightens the final rope and the slight wisp of his dark hair in the light breeze.
He sighs again and meets my gaze, nodding. “You’re right.” He steps on the ledge and just holds his hand out, like he knows I won’t deny him.
And I don’t.
I take his hand and get on the boat, taking a seat in the far corner as he unravels the rope anchoring us to the dock. He starts the engine without saying anything, and we take off through the lake like we’ve done a dozen times before. Only, this boat is much newer than his parents’ old pontoon.
We ride out of the stretch of the trees and brush, coming out to the large expanse of the lake. Lake homes line the shoreside, including my own. Normally, we wouldn’t take a second glance when a boat passed through; however, with how little traffic the marina has gotten over the years, maybe my parents would chance a glance out the bay window nestled in their kitchen.
I slouch down just in case, even though I know that’s just paranoia.
We ride further until we’re away from all our neighbors and in complete seclusion in the lake’s center. The sun kisses the top of the lake, sending glowing ripples along its surface. This type of view is hard to find, especially back in the city, but at least I can enjoy it while I’m here.
Cade cuts the engine and takes a seat beside me. He’s here, but not really. His thoughts litter his face like a thousand words are marring him, stripping him bare.
He sighs deeply, then turns to stare at me. “I wish I could give you the answer you’re looking for.”
“And what answer do you think I want?”
He shrugs. Does he even know what he’s saying? I shake my head and turn my gaze back to the water, licking my lips in thought.
“I don’t want anything from you,” I say. I feel his eyes on me, but I’m unmoved. “I never needed anything from anyone. You’re the one who started all of this.”
I finally look at him, feeling the weight of his choices resting on my chest, and for the first time, I let him truly feel what it’s been like for me. “You’re the one who got mad at me the first night I got here and then kissed me. You’re the one who keeps pulling away, then doing nice things, then pulling away. You took me on a date, but you weren’t even really there. It was like going on a date with a shell. So which one is it, Cade? Do you want me, or do you just enjoy playing mind games? Because if it’s the latter, I promise you, this will be the last time you see me.” My voice shakes with frustration.
He sits silently, but he doesn’t look defiant. Just contemplative. He reaches out, stroking the pad of his thumb against my cheek, catching a tear in its path.
“I do want this, but it’s been… it’s been a long time since I’ve done the whole dating thing with someone I actually have feelings for. It doesn’t help that I have my son to think about. We’re at different points in our lives. You have your career in the city, and I have mine here. Is being with me something you’d even want long-term?”
Though he’s finally opening up, I’m still upset simply because this is the type of conversation we could have been having from the beginning. Instead, he’s lambasted me with the cold shoulder and made me feel used.
The question remains, though. But am I willing to be with someone who’s had a life filled with experiences that I’ve barely scratched the surface of? I know I could if I thought it was worth it.
“I could,” I whisper. “I can’t promise you I’ll want this future filled with marriage with more kids on the estate, because I don’t want to be premature, but I can promise to be at least open to seeing where this could lead. I just can’t be the only one who’s in it, though.”
He nods, pressing my forehead to his. He pulls away just enough to place a kiss on my forehead before looking into my eyes.
“I promise,” he says. “I promise it all.”