22. Sloane
Chapter twenty-two
Sloane
Cade is falling in love with me.
I never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d see the day Cade Hart would express strong feelings for me. My younger self must be screaming with delight somewhere. I’ve dreamt about this moment for years, but when it came time to say it back to him… I couldn’t.
I shocked myself, and I wish I could say that I was ready to say it back. But after how long it took him to open up to me, and the stalker situation, it just didn’t feel right.
The younger me would have jumped at the chance to say it back—would probably have said it to him first, actually—but the older, more cautious woman I am today knows better. I’ve done this whole song and dance before in past relationships—jump into things too quickly, and you’ll get shucked to the side. I’ve known Cade long enough that he isn’t the type of person to do that, but it doesn’t mean I’m not cautious.
Still, he loves me. Or at least he’s starting to feel like he does, whatever that entails. It isn’t that I don’t think I could fall in love with him, too. I could, and I know I’m nearing that feeling, but it’s scary. For one, just because he finally opened up about his past in the CIA and his wife doesn’t mean I know everything I need to. It’s been a long time—nine years—since he lost Laura. Nine years is a long time, but he clearly has lingering feelings for her, as I can imagine. And based on how he spoke about her, she may as well have been the love of his life.
I hate the idea of comparing myself to his deceased wife, but I can’t help myself. Where do I fit into all of this? I told him I didn’t think he was trying to replace her with me, and I still don’t think that, but it’s hard not to compare myself with someone he cared for so dearly—and the person who’s the mother of his child. What if Cade is putting all this effort into keeping me safe because in some way he feels guilty that he couldn’t save his wife?
There are a lot of situations that factor into why it feels too soon—and, of course, my reservations are only natural—but I’d also feel guilty for bringing them up with him. As I said, nine years is a long time, and he could very well feel ready to jump all in with me. But at the same time, getting him to even bring up Laura at all was like pulling teeth. Had Mike not mentioned her to me, I don’t know how long I’d have been in the dark about her.
Everything Cade has told me up to this point was because I got tipped off by Mike or found out on accident. He never willingly told me, and frankly, I’m not even sure he would have had it not been for the little tips I was given. That’s the part that gives me pause to even think to tell him I love him back. I wish I could, but I need more time. I need to get past this stalker situation first before I even think about moving forward with Cade.
The intercom beeps, and I get up from my spot at the bar in the kitchen. I hadn’t realized how long I’d been sitting there in thought. Liam is at school, thankfully, so I haven’t had to focus on anything else but myself. Cade has made a point to allow me time to decompress, but I’ve been doing my best to pitch in where I can, like helping Liam with homework or cooking dinner.
One of the things I’ve noticed about Cade is that, except for his guard, he doesn’t have help like a maid, a nanny, or a private chef—anyone to help with everyday things, even though he can afford all the help he needs. All he has is himself, and it’s humbling to see that he doesn’t use his money to give himself a reason not to lift a finger, especially for his son. It helps that I’m self-sufficient, so I prefer doing things for myself most days. It’s how I navigate when I’m back in the city, so I don’t want that to change just because I’m in a relationship with a billionaire.
I press the button on the intercom for security. “Yes?” I answer.
“Miss Bennett, Mia Bennett is here to see you,” the guard says.
My heart swells a little bit. Ever since our talk and seeing me so worked up about the stalker, Mia has completely relented her attacks on me. She’s been understanding and willing to work with me during this difficult time. I told her I still want to be there for her despite this mishap, and I will definitely be there for her for her rehearsal dinner and, of course, the wedding. But for my protection, everyone has been pretty insistent that I stay at the estate, Mia included.
“Thank you, send her through,” I say as I walk away from the intercom and enter the foyer. I open the front door just as Mia pulls up the rounding driveway. I smile at her as she gets out and walks around to her trunk to pull out a box of last-minute wedding preparations like table arrangements and the seating chart for the tables. Seeing all of this almost makes me hope I never get married, but I also like to think that perhaps if there weren’t a million and one things going on in my life right now, I’d feel differently.
She hands me the box. “There’s one more,” she says with a huff as she walks back to grab the last one.
I smirk a little at her lack of enthusiasm. I can tell she’s ready for the wedding day to come as much as any of us. The stress of prepping everything on your own instead of having a wedding planner take care of everything can’t be easy. The only things Nikki, Mia’s wedding planner, has been tasked to do are to make sure the ceremony goes smoothly, that decorations and food are in order, and to keep the ceremony on schedule. Everything else has been Mia, Mom, and me. And when I was off not doing what I was supposed to do—which was, admittedly, much of the time—Mia’s best friend Cammie would step in.
Mia steps inside the house with the other box, and I close the door behind her. She looks around, raising her eyebrows and shaking her head in disbelief. “Still trying to wrap my head around how you managed to score Cade Hart of all people,” she muses.
I laugh. I’d normally be offended, but I’m really not sure how I did, either. “Gee, thanks,” I say.
She laughs as we walk into the living room and put the boxes down. “I just meant he’s the most eligible bachelor in Rose Valley,” she says. “And women, albeit women closer to his age, have been dropping hints for years since he’s returned from D.C.”
I nod as we take a seat on the couch. I run my hand through my hair as I let her words settle in. She isn’t wrong. Even though Cade and I haven’t stepped out as a couple in town, I know for a fact that people will question what I’m really after. Cade and I are very different people with very different lives and very different upbringings. We are a decade apart in age, and are at different stages in our lives. We shouldn’t work by all accounts, but we just do.
“You’ll have to ask him why he chose me over them,” I say, and she smirks.
Despite her joking, I know Mia doesn’t really think Cade and I are a mismatch. I like to believe she thinks that Cade and I balance each other out. I’m more forthcoming about my feelings, blunt in many ways, whereas Cade is more reserved. Where I feel my weaknesses are, Cade props me up above them. So while the age gap should hinder us, I think it forces us to grow in the places we need to. And probably grow a little faster than if I had chosen to date someone closer to my age.
“How do you feel about Liam? It’s a big deal to date someone with a kid,” she points out.
I bite my bottom lip in thought. It has been weighing on me, I’ll admit. I’m not even in my thirties yet, and Cade has a son who is nine years old. Obviously, I’ve bonded with Liam, and made him a kickass dinosaur painting with green laser beams shooting from his eyes, but am I prepared to be the mother figure he never had the chance to have? I have to imagine Cade told him everything about Laura, so can I live up to her memory? Those are the questions that take root inside me, because while I can try to be the best support system to him, the parenting side of it is a whole other thing.
It doesn’t change the fact that I adore Liam. He’s a wonderful kid and incredibly intelligent. He’s fun and goofy, everything you could want in a child. He’s also like his dad when it comes to being humble and grateful for the life he is fortunate to have. Not at all stuck-up just because his father is exceptionally well-off.
“He’s a great kid,” I say.
Mia looks on, clearly waiting for me to continue.
I sigh, running my hands over my head, groaning. “I don’t know, Mia. I’m confused,” I admit.
She places her hand on my knee encouragingly. I put my hands down and look at her. “He told me he was falling in love with me this morning.”
She gasps and stares at me goggle-eyed. “What?”
I nod and smile, though it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “I couldn’t say it back, though.” I feel a surge of guilt again, even though I shouldn’t. “I was perfectly fine allowing us to be in our bubble and letting things flow without that hanging over us, but then he said it, and I froze.” I look at her sadly, feeling the weight of his words hanging over me.
“Do you love him?” she asks.
I close my eyes as the question runs through my mind like a never-ending record player. I’ve been asking myself this same question all morning, only to find several reasons why I believe it’s too early. I should have at least one valid answer by now.
Do I love Cade Hart?
“I do…” I whisper, staring down at my hands. But I feel just a small bit of that weight lift from my chest at that first admittance. I meet her eyes and nod. “I do,” I say, my voice firming with resolve.
She chuckles a little and shakes her head. “Then why are you worried?”
I sigh deeply. It should be obvious, but she doesn’t know all Cade and I have gone through to get where we are today. It isn’t like she and Killian walked the same path Cade and I have, so naturally, she’s going to be confused. Killian and Mia have the love story that every writer portrays when it’s set in a small town. They literally just worked from the moment they met. The only path they didn’t follow was getting married young—that was Mike and his wife, Camilla.
“I’m worried because what if I don’t live up to his expectations?” I finally say. “Laura was the love of his life, and I’m just a struggling artist in her late twenties. I don’t know the first thing about being a partner, let alone a stepmother.”
Mia licks her lips and nods. “I get it, but I promise you, Sloane, if Cade didn’t think you were worthy, you wouldn’t be here. I’ve been here since Cade came back to Rose Valley. Liam was barely a year old, but that man was a shell of who he used to be. Once he built up his company and started helping out the community, you could see the light in him slowly begin to restore itself. He needed his community to uplift him, but we could only do so much.”
I swallow, deep in thought.
“Dating for him became less about being casual and more about finding his person,” Mia continues. “Laura was an amazing woman. And yes, she isn’t you, but that’s the point. Cade doesn’t want another Laura. He wants you .”
Cade wants me—as me. Again, my younger self would be screaming with joy, but putting Mia’s words into perspective makes it all come together. Maybe that’s why he kept Laura hidden from me for so long. He didn’t want her memory to sway how we approached our own relationship.
“Thank you,” I whisper, and Mia smiles, pulling me close to hug me tightly. She places a kiss on top of my head, and I relish in the moment for a little longer.
“Are you prepared for marriage, and maybe more kids?” she asks.
I jolt in her arms, my eyes flying open, and she laughs. “Okay, okay, no more questions about you and Cade,” she says. I laugh as she gets to work taking out the materials for making the table arrangements.
“To answer your question, though, I could be,” I tell her, and she looks up from the box. “Marriage and kids, I mean. I could be open to all that with him. Not now, obviously, but perhaps one day.”
She hands me the first set of materials so I can start working on them. “Perhaps one day we’ll be sitting here working on your wedding preparations,” she says with a grin.
I grimace a little as I work on twisting a ribbon around lace. “I think I’m going to hire someone to do all this for me, though.”
She laughs as she works on her own arrangement. “Trust me, if I had the money and could go back in time, I’d do the same.” She looks at me with a tired expression. “But not all of us can be lucky to be with a billionaire,” she says, grinning at me so I know she’s joking. I mockingly flip my hair at my luck.
The front door opens, and we both look up to see Cade walk in with another man. I’m guessing that’s his friend from back in his CIA days.
“You can put your things in the room down the hall there,” Cade says to the guy, and he walks off. Cade walks into the living room with a content smile. “Look at you two, hard at work,” he says, leaning over the couch to kiss me like it’s something he’s done a dozen times. And in front of Mia, no less.
“Yeah, thanks for finally making her readily available for the final arrangements.” Mia’s tone says she’s teasing, but the words are definitely as honest and cutthroat as they come. She’s still irritated by Cade’s lack of understanding that I needed to be at her side, but he isn’t completely at fault.
He grimaces at her, but she winks at him—no hard feelings. “I was hoping I could get my friend David here to be a bartender in your rehearsal dinner, Mia,” he says. “He’s gone undercover in the past, and I’m thinking the dinner would be the perfect place for Sloane’s stalker to blend in.”
Mia nods. “As long as it doesn’t conflict with anything wedding-wise, I’m fine with whatever you need to do,” she says, though she raises a finger. “Oh, I also put out the wedding announcement you suggested in the Rose Valley Times .”
At the mention of that, my stomach starts to churn. They’re announcing the wedding in the paper to bait my stalker, who’ll know I’m in the wedding party.
“Good, thank you,” he says, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. “I’m going to go over the plan with David so he understands what we’re doing.”
He walks off, and while I feel nervous about all of this, somehow the thought of having my entire family in on Cade’s plans to finally get rid of this person fills me with a love I didn’t know I needed. It makes running away from here feel less necessary, but am I willing to stay in Rose Valley?
Only time will tell.