15. Sabrina
15
SAbrINA
W hat in the hell was that?
After Nick stormed away, I leaned back against the car for several long minutes. I needed the physical support. Having his hot lips on me and his big hand under my skirt left me reeling and feeling so off-balance and shaky that I bet I’d topple if I stepped away from the car. My knees really were that rubbery.
He showed up and got those men to leave me alone.
But then he…
He…
I lifted my hand to my mouth, wishing my fingers weren’t trembling. Seeing the evidence of how much he shook me confused me and pissed me off even more.
Touching my fingertips to my lips, I tried to catch my breath at the lingering tingle he’d given me there. Every millimeter of contact had sparked and zinged me, and I didn’t like how it had me wishing I’d caved.
No.
Never.
I blinked, trying to snap myself out of this stunned trance he’d left me in.
He’d kissed me.
He’d touched me.
He’d offered to help me.
And I had done all I could to resist.
“What the fuck was that about?”
I shoved off the car, angry that I’d gotten so weak for him. Then as I looked back at the engine, I grew annoyed that he’d distracted me—so epically—with ease.
I shouldn’t have been so shocked. The man had painted me in a provocative pose. He clearly had been thinking about me, a lot, and not in a general consideration.
He’s been… fantasizing about me.
Furrowing my brow, I tried to shut off that realization to focus on my problem at hand. This wasn’t the time to be overwhelmed by his obvious desire for me. I had to get this car going and get home. Pronto.
But as I searched on my phone for DIY tutorials of how to check my car over, praying the last bits of the battery power would last, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
How he’d made me so breathless and hungry for more.
How he’d teased me to lust for him with a need I’d never given myself the freedom to experience at all.
The heat of his hand on me. The softness of his lips over my skin.
The memories brought out a fresh wave of goosebumps, and I scowled at the idea that I couldn’t stop him from messing with me like this.
As I searched for answers about how to get my car running again, I battled the memories of what he’d done and said. I struggled with the confusion about his motives. And I tried my best to concentrate on the task at hand and avoid any analysis about him—or how I’d wanted him so desperately.
Something had to be severely wrong and twisted with me to admit that I desired my bully. Admitting that I wanted Nick would be the same as forfeiting my sense of self-love and decency. I would only be forfeiting my standards and my concept of self-worth to lust after that man.
But I did, and that was how I sank under the oppressive shame for the rest of the day and into the afternoon.
With the help of my phone, I searched how to find the parts that needed to be fixed or plugged back in. The coils. The spark plugs, the starter wire. The battery terminal connections. I hadn’t planned on giving myself a crash course about the components of a car that made it go , but I refused to give up.
My phone died well before I moved on to the matter of the flat tire. That was self-explanatory. Besides, I’d helped Dad change a tire a couple of years ago when he was dealing with horrible tendonitis in his wrist. Still, I wasn’t dressed for this ordeal, and the tire was much harder to get off than I recalled it being. Lugging the spare out of the trunk took forever too.
In the end, I was damned proud of myself for getting the car going again. I hated that my parents would have to have the tire repaired since whoever had tampered with the car had dug a knife into it, but I smiled as I finally got behind the steering wheel. At last, I could make the two-hour drive home.
I heaved out a sigh, so happy that I’d succeeded—and without having to give in to Nick.
I sped the best I could with the spare’s speed limit on the highway, and as I hurried back home, I tried to shift my mind away from Nick and this lingering desire I couldn’t shut off for him. No matter how much my pussy still throbbed and the juices of my arousal stuck to my panties, I wouldn’t let him claim my thoughts.
Instead, I panicked as I looked at the time and worried that I’d miss the dinner and meeting at the Lorsen mansion. The more I focused on that goal, the more I fell back to the misgivings and doubts that came about being on the Lorsen & Spengler team as an intern.
Is it worth it?
Tiffany was no doubt behind the sabotage of my car out here in the city. She wouldn’t quit, either. Up until the intern spot was awarded to one of us, she would continue to strike out against me and compete with every dirty trick she could think of. I knew this. It was fact, not guesswork. She wouldn’t stop at this.
So is it worth it?
I was never the kind of person to shy away from challenges. My determination to get my car running again was proof of my drive. But I also wasn’t the sort of individual to willingly offer myself up for abuse and harassment. My motto of ignoring and turning the other cheek wasn’t cutting it anymore.
Aside from my skepticism about dealing with Tiffany any further than this, I had to admit, again, that Elise was right. I had a front-row seat to see how Lorsen & Spengler worked. They, and their clients, just wanted money, no matter the risks and lack of ethics. I wanted to go into practicing law to help people, to better the world we lived in.
Maybe being an intern for Lorsen & Spengler would give me an association I don’t want.
I had a lot to think about, but as I sped home, covering all the miles, I knew it’d have to come later. A more thorough reflection about my goals with this internship would be waiting.
Now, though, as I sped home, I focused on getting to the dinner before it would be completely over.
My phone charged as I drove, and I replied to Mom’s texts. She was worried when I didn’t answer. Dad, too. I replied to them both that I was okay, that the car gave me some trouble, and that I was on my way to the Lorsens’ home now.
Guilty that I couldn’t help Mom as I’d planned, I winced and worried that I was failing her while I fumbled with my education and internship consideration.
By the time I reached town, the scheduled time for the dinner and meeting was almost over.
There was nothing I could do about my extremely tardy arrival. Nor was there anything I could do about how horribly filthy and ragged I looked.
Sweat had streaked from my brow, and the baby wipes I had in my purse hardly helped. My hair was a mess, tangled and out of the low ponytail I’d started the day with. Rips, stains, and smudges showed on my blouse and my skirt. Blood had caked on my fingers, knuckles, and forearms from the manual labor of working on the car, too.
When I arrived and entered the elegant, grand dining room at the Lorsen estate, I swore everyone gasped at once.
“Sabrina?” Professor Lorsen looked up at me with alarm. The other professors raised their brows too. The other seven students in the running for the intern spot reacted the same. Some laughed. Others gaped at me. Tiffany grinned.
Ignoring them all, I cleared my throat and kept my chin tipped up. I was doing my best, and they could take it or leave it. “I’m sorry for my tardiness. I had a few issues on the trip back.”
“I… I can see that,” Professor Lorsen said.
“You roll out of the window or something?” Professor Gowen asked.
“Are you all right?” Professor Angus asked, furrowing her wrinkled brow.
Not in the slightest.
I was angry about Tiffany stooping this low.
I was annoyed that I was questioning my path to my future.
And I was still uneasy and left bewildered by Nick’s kisses and touches.
When I spotted him in the reflection of a mirror at the back of the wood-paneled room, I held my breath and spun to face him.
What the hell is he doing here ?