Chapter 9
Blair
Jules gapes at me when she walks in the house and finds me on my hands and knees cleaning baseboards in the kitchen.
“We can have Linda do that, you know. She likes the extra money from deep cleaning.”
Our regular house cleaner does a great job, and she would have happily detailed the baseboards, but I had to do something with my nervous energy.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on a road trip with the team?”
She sighs as she fills a glass of water at the dispenser. “I needed to be here for some meetings tomorrow. The office is dead because everyone worked so hard on the fundraiser dinner and McClain said we should take today off.”
It’s Monday, the day after Magnus sat in this very kitchen with me and my sons for breakfast. I’m replaying every word he said and every look he gave me, reading too much into some of them and dismissing others.
“I need there to be a button I can press to turn off attraction,” I gripe.
“Oh, so the sweaty and unnecessary cleaning is about Magnus?”
My sister sounds amused, which just grinds on me. “Why would it be? I have hot pro athletes stay the night and play with my boys every weekend when you’re not here. Did I forget to tell you?”
“Come on, babe. Off the floor.”
I exhale heavily and get to my feet, running a hand over my damp forehead. Jules sits down at the table and I take the seat across from hers.
“Yesterday I was busy with the boys, but today they’re at school and I can’t just keep studying stuff I know by heart. This feels so shitty. I don’t want to be a woman who cares if a man likes me. I’m not. I’m not that woman, but—”
Jules puts a palm up. “Pause. He fed you his dessert in front of his coach and three teammates. I would have had to discreetly pick my panties up off the floor if Noel did that before we were even a thing. Don’t be that bitch who’s like I don’t know if he likes me; all he did was feed me dessert in public, come home with me, stay all night, be a gentleman and play with my kids. ”
I glare at her. “I’m his coach’s fiancée’s sister. Do you really think he’d be anything but attentive when the assholes in our lives blindsided us with a setup?”
“He wasn’t blindsided. Carter asked him, and he said yes.”
My stomach does a little flip of excitement over the tidbit of new information. “He did?”
“He likes you, Blair. Why can’t you just feel that and be happy instead of being all neurotic about it?”
“Eat shit. Have you forgotten what a hot mess you once were over Noel?”
She grins. “And look how that turned out.”
Jules and Noel are completely wrapped up in each other, and I love that for her. They spend most of their time off work together—binge-watching shows, shopping, cooking, taking his kids out for dinner.
“I can’t have what you have,” I remind my sister.
“I’m raising two kids who need all of me.
I’m trying to get through school, and then ...
” I shrug. “I don’t even know how I’ll do it, Jules.
I’ll have to find a way to work forty hours a week and take care of my boys.
I’ll need childcare. I’m not leaving them with other people even more so I can go have fun with a man. ”
She covers my hand with hers. “Babe, we had a terrible example of a mother. She put herself first every time. Don’t overcompensate by teaching your kids that mothers can’t have anything for themselves. You’re not just a mom.”
Tears burn my eyes, her words making me surprisingly emotional. “I’m a mom who had two kids with a deadbeat, though. They don’t really have a dad. That means I have to be more.”
“I know, and you are. Eli and Coop are kind and sweet and smart and it’s all because of you. Just slow down, that’s all I’m saying. Magnus is a good guy. Maybe he’s not your future husband, but does that mean he can’t be anything?”
I shake my head, a knot forming in my stomach when I think about Coop throwing his arms around Magnus. He idolizes him.
“Don’t you remember all the men, Jules?” My voice catches. “Mom would bring them around, and some of them ... they were nice. I’d get this hope that maybe this one would stay. Maybe life would get better because he’d make Mom want to be better.”
She nods slightly, her brow furrowed. “I remember.”
“I know you mean well,” I say softly. “I know that, and I love you. But when you have kids ... it’s just different.”
Her eyes lock with mine, concern swirling in hers. “You should go back to counseling. I know I don’t have all the answers, but I don’t think you do, either.”
I scoff, tears dropping to my cheeks as I laugh. “Yeah, I don’t have a single answer. I don’t know a damn thing. I’ve been so adamant about my boys not having men in their lives who might leave and disappoint them later—but they met Magnus through hockey, and it happened anyway.”
“You can’t protect them from ever being disappointed, babe.”
I swipe the wetness from my cheeks. “I know, but I’m not going to be responsible for it. I can’t fill that hole, Jules.” My voice trembles with emotion. “If you could have seen the way Coop was looking at him and holding his hand ... fuck.”
“Okay. What can we do right now to help you feel a little better?”
“I’m fine. It’s just hard when I’m home by myself, with nothing but time to think.” I stand up and walk to the pantry, grabbing a can of Pringles and opening it. “How long will he even be staying with the Crush? Couldn’t he get traded at any point?”
“He’s on what they call a prove-it deal. He has this season to prove he’s good enough for a team to offer him a longer-term contract, like three years.”
“And that comes at the end of the season?”
She shrugs. “At the end of the season, he’ll already know. It’s January, and that’s about when teams would start talking to his agent.”
I talk through chewing my pizza Pringle because it’s just Jules. “Is he proving it? Will he get offers?”
“Oh yeah. Noel says he’ll get a contract. But don’t repeat that; I’m not supposed to know. What’s unknown is which team the contract will be with.”
“So he could be gone in a few months?”
“Yes.”
I roll my eyes. “I win the worst-taste-in-men award, once again. The prize is sadness.”
Jules laughs and stands up, hugging me. “Will you relax? He came over one time. He likes you and he likes your kids. Hang out with him. He’ll know soon where he’s going to land.”
“Okay, fine.”
“Let’s go shopping.”
I groan. “I’ll help you shop, but you’re not spending any more money on me.”
“Fuck you. I’ll spend my money on whatever I want.”
She’s everything anyone could ever hope for in a sister. I don’t like relying on her for so much, though.
“My channels are killing it with all the wedding-planning posts. It’s ridiculous money, and I’m marrying a man who also has ridiculous money. So if I want to take my sister shopping, I will.”
“It would be nice to get out.”
“Go change out of your sad Cinderella rags so we can go.”
I scowl over my shoulder, heading for my bedroom. “These are my cleaning clothes; they’re not supposed to be nice.”
A few minutes later, Jules is driving us to a shopping center in her new white BMW SUV. Since she started making successful influencer money, she trades her cars in for a new one on a whim.
“Will you keep this one long enough to need an oil change?” I quip.
“I might. I do really like this one.”
She drives to a shopping center filled with stores we both love.
Even though we have three hours until I have to leave to make sure I can pick up the boys from school on time, she’s efficient.
We hit up several stores for clothes and shoes first, both of us ending up with so many bags we have to take them back to the car before continuing with our shopping.
Jules picks up some new pans and dishes at a high-end kitchen store, and then we go to her idea of heaven on Earth: Sephora.
The sales associates all know her, and we get the red-carpet treatment. She’s buying so much I don’t even want to know the total, so I wait near the store’s entrance and check my phone.
I inhale sharply when I see a text from a number I don’t recognize.
Hey Blair, it’s Magnus. I got your number from Carter, hope that’s okay. Would Sunday night work for Monopoly?
Jules is walking toward me, glowing from an hour spent in one of her favorite places.
“What? Why do you look like you just shit yourself?”
A woman nearby gives me a quick, cringey glance.
“Why do you look happier than you did when your giant double-ended dildo was delivered?” I say it loudly to prove my point.
She laughs it off, but her face flushes. When she’s done pushing me out of the store, she gives me a withering glare.
“Jesus, Blair. People in there know me.”
“Maybe think before you talk about me shitting myself next time.”
She rolls her eyes. “Fine. Take one of these bags; they’re heavy. And what was the look for anyway? I need a drink.”
“Magnus texted me.”
She squeals, her eyes wide with excitement. “And ...? You didn’t tell me you guys traded numbers.”
“He said he got my number from Carter.”
“Oh my god. Carter must have gotten it from Suki. Blair, he really likes you.”
I shake my head. “He wants to set up Monopoly night.”
“He could’ve waited until he saw you at the youth hockey thing, though. He’s on a road trip. What time is it?”
I look at my watch. “Two twenty. And twelve thousand steps worth of shopping, you maniac.”
“Okay, so they’re at the Denver arena. He’s probably in the locker room, and he’s thinking about you.”
I smile, warm all over. “Maybe he just really likes Monopoly.”
“I’m sure that’s it. We need to get you some lingerie for Monopoly night.”
My jaw drops and I give her a look of horror. “My children will be there!”
“It goes under your clothes, dipshit. I wasn’t suggesting you greet him at the door or go directly to jail in it. It’s for later.”
I shake my head. “No. Lingerie means I was hoping to get with him.”
“So what?”
“I would absolutely never with my kids in the house, Jules.”
“Cockblocker.”
I laugh, bumping her shoulder with mine.
“You need lingerie anyway. The boys spend the night with me and Noel sometimes.”
“My ass and tits don’t fit in the lingerie in any of the stores here.”
She scoffs. “Girl. Tell me about it. I know some good places to order online. I’ll get you some.”
I groan. “I’m not wearing crotchless latex.”
“Of course not. You don’t start there, Blair. He has to earn his way into that shit. Just lace and satin to start with. Full coverage.”
“We’re playing Monopoly with my kids. That’s it.”
“Uh-huh. Do you know how much time and patience it takes to text from a fucking flip phone? But he did it. Because he likes you.”
I fight my smile, but it breaks through.
“Say it. Oh, thank God, let’s go to that coffee place. Admit that he likes you, just one time, and I’ll let up.”
He did text me from his old-man flip phone. While he’s on the road for hockey. And I definitely felt chemistry on our night out, and even on the morning after.
“Okay.” I cave. “I like him, and it seems like ...” I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. “He likes me, too.”