Chapter 15
Blair
Jules gives me a once-over, clapping her hands.
“Ready?” she asks.
I narrow my eyes. “What about you?”
She looks down at her jeans. “These are Frame. Don’t ask how much I paid; it was slightly traumatizing.”
“But why do you get to wear jeans and a sweatshirt to GNO, but you put me in leather pants and a sweater?”
“That’s not just a sweater; it’s cashmere. And I get to dress well every day for work, but you have to wear sad scrubs with cartoon characters on them.”
“I picked those out on purpose.”
She waves a hand. “Anyway. We have a reservation, so let’s go.”
I sigh heavily, shooting her a glare. She wouldn’t let me wear regular underwear with these stupid leather pants, because panty lines, so I have a thong in my ass crack. And I thought she might slap me when I tried to put the fitted ivory sweater she brought me on over a sports bra.
Only a lacy white underwire bra would do, she said. So now I’m uncomfortable and I’m made up like it’s prom night, so I hope she’s taking me somewhere nice where I’ll get tiny little plates with two bites of food. I’m not dressed for pizza and karaoke, which is what I wanted to do tonight.
“Did you tell Noel how to feed Dong?” I ask on the walk to her car.
“Yep. Dong’s covered.”
I pull my black wool coat closed in the freezing February wind, hesitating to open my car door. “You told him where the can opener is? And the Hello Kitty dish?”
“Get in the car, Blair.”
“I feel like Dong’s not getting fed tonight.”
“And I feel like you’re being a control freak and a buzzkill. I can handle the fucking cat, okay?”
“You mean Noel can. Because he’s the one babysitting the boys, and he knows where the can opener and Hello Kitty dish are? Right?”
She pats my knee as she backs out of the driveway. “Right. I’ll have him send you a video of Dong eating, okay? He’ll think it’s perfectly sane.”
“Don’t be so salty.”
“Can you go dress shopping the weekend after next?”
“I should be able to.”
She gets a dreamy look on her face. “I can’t believe he’s going to be my husband. I love him so much.”
“You’ll be the most beautiful bride ever.”
We talk wedding dresses the rest of the way to the restaurant. She wants to look elegant, but not too elegant. Flawless, but not like she’s trying too hard. Modern, but classic.
Whatever she chooses will be perfect. Noel would happily marry her if she wore a paper bag. I don’t tell her that, though. She’s dreamed of a wedding day for so long, and I want her to squeeze every ounce of joy she can out of it.
When we reach a nice sushi restaurant, she pulls up at the front door.
“Have fun.” She’s giddy as she says it.
“What? Why aren’t you parking?”
“Oh, I’m not going.”
I give her a look. “So you want me to eat sushi in leather pants alone?”
“Of course not. Magnus is waiting for you.”
I just stare at her for a second. “Magnus?”
She nods and does the clapping thing again. “He asked me to get you here and arrange for childcare. It’s me, by the way. Well, Noel, too. We’ll both be there, but I’ll feed Dong. And you know I know where the can opener is. So go have fun.”
“Wait. So the boys are with Noel now?”
“Yeah, they’re getting burgers. Then we’ll hang out at home and have fun, but not too much fun so they’re too wound up to sleep; we’ll make sure they brush and floss every tooth, and we’ll send them to bed on time because it’s a school night.
Nothing to worry about. And in the morning, I’ll take them to school. ”
“No. What? Magnus set up an all-night thing?”
“He asked to have dinner with you. But this is me telling you to stop being a martyr and go get you some. Jesus. Let the village have an at bat.”
I close my eyes, everything adding up now. The thong. The bra.
“But I’m ... unkempt down there. And I think there might be actual rust in my birth canal.”
She snort-laughs. “He’s European; they prefer an untamed bush.”
“Do they? Every single one?”
“Quit stalling. Get the fuck out of my car. There’s a reservation under his name. Don’t you fucking dare walk into the house in two hours.”
My heart races over knowing Magnus is inside. I unbuckle my seat belt.
“You should have told me. I could have acted surprised.”
“Enjoy those Swedish meatballs, babe.”
She blows me a kiss as I get out of the car. I barely get the door closed before she speeds away.
Leaving me to go inside. Where Magnus is. Alone.
I square my shoulders and walk inside.
He stands up when he sees the hostess leading me to his table. I’ve never felt butterflies like this.
Magnus looks nervous. He’s not sweeping his gaze up and down my body; his eyes haven’t left mine since he saw me.
He’s wearing khaki pants, a light-blue dress shirt unbuttoned at the top, and a dark-brown jacket that’s similar to a suit jacket but not as dressy. I could melt over how handsome he is.
When I reach the table, we just smile at each other like a couple of fools for a few seconds, but I’ve never been happier to look like a fool.
“Thank you for coming,” he says.
I put my coat and bag on an empty chair at our table and sit down. “Thanks for the invite.”
He sits down, too, and our server comes over to take my drink order.
I request a glass of white wine to soothe my nerves. I’m careful about how much I drink after growing up with a mother who wasn’t. I don’t drink often, I never drink alone, and I never have more than one drink in a day.
He clears his throat, saying, “I wanted to take you on a date so we could talk alone, but I thought you might not want to come, so I asked Jules to help.”
I knit my brows together, confused. “Why did you think I wouldn’t want to?”
“For the same reason I’ve gone back and forth about asking you out since the night I fed you dessert.”
The server brings my glass of wine and I take it before she can set it on the table, taking a drink. I set the glass down, then pick it back up and take another drink before I speak again.
“For me, it’s about my kids. And honestly, if you’ve hesitated to ask me out because of my kids, that hurts.”
A wrinkle appears between his brows and his lips part with surprise. “No, I meant my contract situation. I might not be staying in Cleveland. Your boys are on the list of many reasons I do want to ask you out, Blair.”
The relief I feel is physical. Maybe I was being defensive, but it’s kind of a reflex for me.
“Oh my god,” I whisper, my heart pounding with excitement. “Did you get a contract with Cleveland?”
He shakes his head. I cringe inwardly, wishing I hadn’t blurted the question out like that.
“The way hockey works is that Cleveland is the only team that can make me an offer now, and they haven’t. I do have interest from another team, but they can only have informal conversations with my agent until after the season ends.”
“Right. Okay. But you’re playing extremely well, so you’ll get something.”
He acknowledges that with a slight nod. “I’m going to level with you.
I may not be staying in Cleveland. I figured I shouldn’t start anything with you if I might be moving.
I’d never want to hurt you or Coop and Eli.
But I did a lot of thinking on the road trip.
After Elin was injured, I stayed in the Swedish league even though I could’ve come to the US.
I wanted to be there for my family as much as possible.
The only reason I came to the US was to make more money, because I want her to have the best rehab and care.
I’ve never seen anything I do for my family as a sacrifice. ”
His selflessness and sincerity are two of my favorite things about him. When I was younger, I thought cocky, sarcastic guys were hot. I was so wrong.
“I live at a hotel and save and invest every dollar I can,” he says.
“There are things I don’t do because I’ve considered them selfish.
I don’t take vacations. I don’t drive an expensive car.
And I don’t really care about that stuff.
But you ... you’re the one thing I’ve been denying myself that I want badly. ”
The server approaches our table, but he puts up a hand, silently asking her to give us time, and she retreats. I lock my eyes on Magnus’s, trying hard not to get lost in their icy-blue depths.
“I keep my heart in a lockbox inside a lockbox,” I say softly. “I don’t take chances with it, because when I love someone, it’s with my whole being. I understand why you might have to move. I admire you for it. But I can’t risk the heartbreak, Magnus. For me and for my boys.”
He puts his elbows on the edge of the table, resting his forearms on the surface and looking at me intently.
“It’s early February. That gives us at least four months.
If I have to play for a team other than Cleveland after that, it doesn’t mean we can’t be together.
I know it would be hard. I understand if you don’t want to.
But Blair, I’m thirty-one years old, not twenty-one.
My shoulder’s not what it once was. Best-case scenario, I have a solid four more years in my career.
I have a great money manager, and if I can get the kind of money the team that’s interested in me is offering, I can cover Elin’s care for the rest of her life and we’ll still be set financially.
I’ll still work, too. I don’t plan to retire from hockey at thirty-five and do nothing. ”
I lean back in my chair, reeling. “But ... we’ve never even kissed. You could meet someone in Seattle, and—”
“How do you know about Seattle?”
My face heats. “Oh, I ... kind of saw it on Jackson Hodge’s Substack. The Chirp Box guys think you’ll go to Seattle, too.”
His grin is like the sun bursting over the horizon at dawn; it lights up everything.
“You’ve been following hockey news.”
I shrug a shoulder. “Well, there’s this superhot guy who has me interested in it.”
His expression turns serious again. “I’m a man of my word.
If you and I are together, I can’t develop feelings for another woman because I won’t be single.
I don’t take any of this lightly. I didn’t mean to meet the woman of my dreams while I’m living out of a hotel and grinding to get what may be my last contract.
But it happened, and I know I’ll regret it if I don’t tell you how I feel and what I want. ”
I dig my teeth into my lower lip, my mind racing almost as fast as my heart. What he said hit home for me. I’ve told myself it’s selfish to have a man in my life for years. I never thought I’d meet someone who cares for my kids, too.
“What if we get to know each other better tonight?” I say. “And then we can talk in the morning and see if we both still feel like we do right now.”
Hope shines in his eyes, the corners of his lips quirking in a slight smile.
“Yes,” he says. “Let’s do that.”