Chapter 19
Blair
My personal and professional lives are intersecting for the first time. I’m on shift on the OB floor, in a room with Mara and Leo.
“It happens all the time,” I assure Mara. “You were right to come in.”
She and Leo are leaving alone after finding out she was in false labor. They’re both disappointed, understandably.
“At thirty-eight weeks, you don’t have many full nights of sleep in your near future,” Kari, the nurse I’m working with today, says. “Go home, put your feet up, and watch a show. Sleep. Enjoy it while you can.”
“I’m so done with working like this,” Mara says.
“Babe, you don’t have—”
She cuts her husband off. “I know, but I want to work. I like my job. I just don’t like it when I have to waddle in and out of courtrooms.”
“I’m gonna be honest. I’ll kind of miss the waddling,” he says. “You’re like a mama duckling.”
She sighs softly, meeting my eyes. “Will you go tell our crew in the waiting room that it was a false alarm?”
“Of course.”
I walk down to the waiting room, surprised by the size of the group gathered there. Suki and Carter, Bash and Lainey, Lucien and Talia, Jules and Noel, Magnus, Isaac, and several other men I don’t know are all looking at me expectantly. One of the men is holding a bunch of yellow balloons.
“Hey guys,” I say. “They’re going home soon. It’s not quite time yet.”
Several faces turn disappointed. Magnus comes over and grabs the hand at my side, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.
“I like your work clothes,” he says, smiling warmly.
There’s nothing special about my Peanuts scrubs, but somehow, he makes me feel pretty anyway.
“Thank you. And thanks for the flowers, too. My coworkers may try to steal you from me.”
“Won’t work. What time are you off?”
“Seven.”
“Who’s with the boys?”
“Lulu, one of the teenage girls who lives on our street. Jules will take over when she gets there at five.”
“Would it be okay if I took them out for dinner?”
He’s still holding my hand. Some of his teammates are glancing at us, and I like that he hasn’t let go.
“Of course. They’d love that. But Eli will ask you to quiz him on spelling words. The spelling bee is tomorrow.”
“I can do that.” He knits his brows together, speaking softly. “Is it okay for me to kiss you here?”
“Yes.”
He gives me a soft, sweet kiss, releasing my hand.
“I’ll text Lulu and let her know you’re picking the boys up later. What time should I say you’ll be there?”
He looks at his watch. “Four thirty. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay.”
I practically float back to the nurses’ station. Magnus has a demanding schedule, but he always makes sure I know I’m important to him. He likes simple things, like I do.
A movie or a board game with the boys is a fun evening for us. He showed us how to make Swedish meatballs last week, and he brought over some salty licorice his mom sent him that the boys tried and pretended to like.
It’s horrible. I told him I was calling the police after taking one bite, and he told me American root beer is a crime against cuisine.
Root beer is delicious, so we’ll have to agree to disagree on that.
Leo walks out of the room he and Mara were in, a hospital transport person rolling Mara out in a wheelchair behind him.
“Time for my roll of shame,” Mara cracks. “Thanks for not making me feel like a dipshit.”
Kari walks up to stand beside me, saying, “You’ll be back before you know it. Call us if you have questions.”
“Thank you. Thanks, Blair.”
Once they’re out of earshot, Kari says, “She’s adorable.”
“And hilarious.”
“How do you know her?”
“We met through my sister. She’s a friend.”
“How’s your charting going?”
“The stars have aligned and I’m completely caught up.”
She arches her brows. “We just might get out of here on time tonight.”
We come close to leaving on time. It’s seven twenty when I leave the hospital, and seven forty-five when I pull into my garage.
Magnus’s Trailblazer is in the driveway, a light layer of snow covering it. When I walk in the house, the spicy, savory smell of Chinese food makes my mouth water.
I hear laughter in the basement. When I walk downstairs, I see Eli dancing.
My son Eli, the shyest kid I know, is dancing on some kind of mat, following lights that are bouncing from square to square to lead his feet.
“Go, go!” Magnus calls from the couch.
“No!” Jules howls from a recliner. “Don’t break my record! Aunt Jules is the dancing queen!”
Coop laughs, running over to hug me when he sees me.
Magnus stands and smiles at me. I told him I’m not ready for kissing in front of my kids, so he always keeps a safe distance.
“Hey, there’s food upstairs,” Jules says. “Magnus ordered enough for an army.”
“That’s what you do,” he says, shrugging.
“No!” Eli cries, stopping his dance.
“Dude, that was still really good,” Jules says. “You almost broke my record.”
“I want to do it again,” he says, which is classic Eli.
“No, it’s my turn,” Coop says.
“Blair, get this,” Jules says. “Magnus thought we’d all want to share our Chinese food.”
He rolls his eyes. “Because that’s what you do.”
“But you asked all of us what we wanted.”
“Right, because I wanted to make sure we had some of what everyone wanted. Then I got a bunch more stuff, so we could all share. Or not, since you almost bit my hand off over the General Tso’s chicken.”
“Bro, if you want General Tso’s chicken, order some.”
“I did—I got three of them.”
“I’m starving,” I say. “You said there’re leftovers?”
“So many leftovers,” Jules says. “I’m going to make sure my dance record stays safe; you guys go hang out and eat.”
Magnus and I go upstairs, and once we’re alone in the kitchen, he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me.
“Hi,” I say against his lips.
“Hi. How was your day?”
“It was long, but good.”
He kisses me again, then releases me and gestures to the island.
“There should be something there you’ll like.”
It’s an understatement. There are multiple orders of fried rice, lo mein, egg rolls, crab Rangoon, and General Tso’s chicken.
“This is going to last us for days,” I say. “Thanks for getting it.”
“I took the boys to a place that sells video games and we found this. They wanted to eat at home instead of going out so we could play it.”
“Did you dance?” I ask as I get a plate from the cabinet.
“I did. It’s fun; you should try it.”
“You bought it?”
“I bought it. We can dance anytime we want.”
It feels so domesticated, him talking about “we” while I eat the Chinese food he brought over.
Every day we’ve been together has inched my heart closer to him.
I’m not sorry we decided to go for it instead of worrying about what might happen, but it’ll be hard to adjust to a life without him here often, especially after several more months of it.
He glances at the basement door and speaks in a low tone. “My agent called earlier.”
My heart pounds nervously. “And?”
He crosses his arms. “Seattle wants a verbal commitment.”
We’ve had a few conversations about this. The money Seattle is offering is staggering to me. Seattle is so far away, but the team’s GM is offering what he’s been working toward his entire career—security for his family.
“I said no,” he says.
My stomach spins, unsure whether this is a good or a bad thing.
“Because of me?”
“Don’t think of it that way. A verbal offer is just that. It’s not binding.”
“But is it reliable? Like, could they screw you if you say yes and change the terms later? Or not offer a contract at all?”
“It’s unlikely.”
My stomach makes its choice, sinking. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
“I’m sure.”
I set my plate down, unsettled. “I don’t want to cost you what you’ve worked so hard for.”
“I’m playing well, and my shoulder’s holding up.”
I nod, leaning back against the counter. “You know I’m in, right? No matter where you play, I still want to be with you. Like you said, it’s three or four years.”
“I know. But I’m not ready to lock myself in.”
I never thought I’d have anything to do with anyone’s multimillion-dollar career choices. And even when I knew what I was in for with Magnus, I didn’t expect it to feel so heavy.
His sister will likely never be able to live independently again. The Swedish healthcare and support system is good, but Magnus wants her to have the best rehab so she can recover as much as possible.
“Hey,” he says softly. “I’m not broke. I’m only spending a fraction of what I’m getting paid this year, and my investment guy is growing the rest.”
“I know, I just ...”
Don’t want to be responsible for you not being able to take care of your sister and mom.
I can’t say it out loud. It’s not just a passing thought, but a lead vest I can’t take off. An injury could end his career at any moment. A few months into his next season, it could all be over. Or he could play for another four or five years. It’s unknown, and the stakes are dangerously high.
“Talk to me,” he says.
He’s so unbelievably easy to look at. His hair is curling at the ends and he’s clean-shaven, wearing a Crush hoodie and lightweight black pants.
“I don’t want to be the reason you do something you regret later.”
“You won’t. I’m the one making this decision, but it affects you, too, so I want you to know what’s going on.”
I nod. “I’m happy you’re getting that kind of interest. You deserve it.”
“Money matters, but it’s not everything. I need to make enough, yeah, but now I have other considerations too. My life is infinitely better because of those considerations.”
I meet his pale-blue eyes across the island, aching to throw myself into his arms and take him to my bedroom. “Mine is, too.”
“You should eat. But you might have to fight Jules over the General Tso’s.”
I smile at him. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”