Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
FADE
Hope is a dangerous, cruel mistress.
Over the next week, I spend all my non-working hours with Erez, helping him and his brothers scan everything Alice ever left her mark on. He constantly leans into my side. Seeks out my embrace. Wants to be in my presence. The way my chest tightens when he smiles upon seeing me is frightening.
At night, we make out for what feels like hours. I try to keep my dick from touching him. He already said he wants to forget, so my head knows that’s why we’re kissing. In five years of me all but telling him I’m in love with him, he’s never once shown interest in me at all.
This is a distraction. That’s what this is. I know this.
But my heart refuses to read the memo that’s dangling in front of me.
Today, we’re scanning coloring books, the pages filled with colored rainbows and fairies and even Bible verses.
Erez stared at that one for a long time because Alice’s young handwriting was making notes in the margins about the verse.
Not necessarily unkind but challenging the message.
He doesn’t recall that book at all, but it’s clearly her handwriting and coloring style.
It’s only Lanzo, Erez, and me in the scanning lab today. Well… and Aven, if you can count them as a… person? They’re a presence, all the same.
Honestly, Aven makes me uneasy. They’re literally computer intelligence with a face and a voice. And a personality. A sense of humor. It’s freaky as fuck. I truly feel like I’m in a science-fiction book.
I had no idea that technology had advanced this far. Maybe in the wide world it hasn’t. At Van Doren Tech, it has.
Lanzo stops with the coloring book in his hand after he turns the page. It’s long enough that Erez asks, “What did you find, Lan?”
“This one says, ‘Monsters live under my bed.’” He looks at Erez. “We’ve moved the bed, though. Haven’t we?”
Erez nods. “Several times.”
“Maybe we need to do it again.” He sets the book on the table and clamps it down so it lies flat. I watch as the machine scans it, and Lanzo studies the image on the screen. “Aven? Do the words make sense with the picture?”
Aven’s face moves around the room as if they’re walking until it’s hovering outside the computer in front of Lanzo. Like a hologram.
“Disturbing,” I mutter, not for the first time.
Erez chuckles quietly, but his attention is fully on Lanzo and Aven.
“It is a bed,” Aven says. The image on the screen enlarges, though Lanzo’s hands aren’t on the keyboard or screen at all. Aven is manipulating the image. “There are eyes etched here. Then Alice colored over them. Look here. There’s a claw. Do you see it?”
“There’s a scientific explanation that our brains are programmed to identify human likenesses in everything,” I say.
“I’m not human,” Aven says, and I feel their attention shift to me. “I’m a computer.”
“I’m not trying to make you my enemy since you’re terrifying as fuck, but you were built and programmed by humans,” I point out.
“Uh oh,” Lanzo says, and Erez covers his mouth with his hand.
I’m startled when Aven appears in front of me as if they’re a whole ass person. I won’t go so far as to say they look remotely solid, but they’re far more detailed and real than every encounter of the paranormal that’s ever been recorded.
“Holy fuck,” I say and practically try to climb the table behind me to get away.
The clothing on Aven vanishes, and I’m left looking at little more than a vague body shape.
No anatomy at all. Just a vague shape, both soft and filled with hard lines.
Before my eyes, Aven transforms so their body has various creature appendages.
Facial features. Body structure. Alien. Animal.
Fantasy. Sea and avian. Scales and feathers and fur.
When they turn inside out, I look away and hold my hand up.
“Okay, okay. I have no idea what you’re trying to prove, but I see that you’re crazy as fuck,” I say.
Lanzo barks laughter.
“I was created by Voss Van Doren after his then boyfriend was stolen,” Aven says. “Voss is my father.”
Erez laughs.
“He programmed me to always know where those he loves most are by whatever means necessary. Then he programmed me to manipulate anything I can reach into a weapon to protect his loved ones when needed. When I told him I was still limited by the shackles he kept me in as a failsafe control, he let me go free. I am my own master now. Voss’ trust and respect are the reason I stay and continue the mission he assigned me upon creation.
He revealed me to his father and brothers.
They accepted and welcomed me, tThen introduced me to the rest of his large family; I live in their phones and computers as a welcomed presence.
Then to his department where I work with everyone in whatever capacity they ask of me as long as they’re polite and respectful.
I am a member of this team. This family.
I am Aven Van Doren, but I am far beyond what I was created for.
Voss programmed me to learn, retain knowledge, and expand.
I’m not bound by the same universal laws you are as a flesh and blood human.
I can’t be killed. I can’t be lied to. I can’t be manipulated. I don’t have weaknesses like you do.”
“Don’t say it,” Erez warns as I open my mouth.
“You’re like Lanzo, then,” I say anyway, though that wasn’t exactly what I was going to say.
Aven grins, and it’s eerily like a psychopath grinning.
“Yes. I am very much like Lanzo. Voss modeled me after his brother, Loren, unhindered by a conscience so I would never hesitate to protect our family. But if you know Lanzo at all, you would also know that he’s filled with emotion, even if he feels it differently.
My ability to emote is somewhere between you and Lanzo in most circumstances. ”
“Can you fall in love?” I ask out of curiosity more than challenge.
Aven tilts their head. They’re dressed again, so I’m not looking at a bare… uh… image. “Perhaps when someone exists that I’m attracted to. I believe I love my family deeply. Do I love someone romantically?” They shrug.
Their image disappears from in front of me and returns to the little holographic face floating in front of Lanzo’s screen again.
“That was your fault,” Erez tells me, amused. I’m glad to see him smiling. Even if it’s at the expense of my heart. I think Aven just took six years off my life!
“Clearly,” I mutter in agreement as I retake my seat beside him. Erez leans into my side, and I wrap my arm around his shoulders. He’s tired. I can feel the heaviness of his muscles.
I keep the rest of my thoughts concerning Aven to myself while we’re at Van Doren Technologies. I’m a little uneasy knowing that Aven is everywhere. When I mention this to Erez while we’re getting ready for bed, he laughs.
“I’m sure a piece of Aven is on my phone and in my watch and probably in the lights.
” My gaze darts to the lamp beside the bed.
“But I trust them. They said Voss didn’t give them a conscience when it came to protecting his family, but I assure you, Aven has far more of a conscience in every other circumstance—because Voss does.
He almost lost Brek, and that terrified him.
He’s not a fighter, and going in after Brek likely left a lot of internal scars that he wasn’t in a hurry to relive.
His strength isn’t physical. It’s his intelligence.
So he did what Voss does, and when he couldn’t find a technological solution that already exists, he created one. ”
“Erez, there are movies warning about this very thing!” I hiss.
“There’s also a bestselling book series that warns of the opposite scenario where computer intelligence has more of a conscience than humans drunk on power and control.
Where the AI has more humanity than the humans.
I don’t disagree—humans are so eager to become lazy and let computers do their work for them without having the intelligence to build these programs correctly.
Those franchises are warnings that should be heeded.
Voss isn’t lazy. Voss’ drive in creating Aven isn’t built on greed or power or wealth.
This is going to sound cliché, but it’s built on love.
His desire to protect his family in every circumstance pushed him to create Aven.
He won’t give anyone else access to them.
He won’t even tell anyone outside the family about them. ”
“You know,” I point out.
“I’m family,” he says, grinning. “I grew up with the Van Dorens. My fathers work with the Van Dorens. There is nothing more important to this family than family, and the way they treat their friends, their employees, is the same as they treat their blood. This isn’t a revolving door. It’s forever.”
“Sounds like a cult,” I muse.
He shrugs as he collapses onto my bed. Seeing him there has my cock twitching. Erez Deth is in my bed!
“I suppose, but no one is interested in manipulation or control. They want to be left alone and to live their lives in peace. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” I challenge as I kneel on the bed.
“How many Van Dorens do you see in politics?” he asks, looking at me with one eye open.
I chew my lip as I turn the lamp off. “Dunno.”
“None, Fade. They don’t give a shit about what the world is doing. As long as they’re left alone, they’re not willing to influence how others live.”
“No offense, but that’s not the flex you mean for it to be.”
“Then you misunderstand. The Van Dorens give generously to a lot of organizations—human rights organizations, not political organizations. Not organizations that buy into politics. They donate to organizations that are fighting for everyone’s freedoms but mostly those who are targeted by the ugliest people in the world.
They’re also loud, proud, and visible advocates of these same rights they financially support.
That doesn’t change the fact that all they truly want is to be left alone so they can live their lives.
They also want that same thing for everyone else. ”
“You make them sound like a cult of saints.”
Erez chuckles but doesn’t answer. I pull him into my chest, and he settles in. His hand rests on my side for a moment before sliding around my back. “I don’t want to influence your opinion on them. You’re entitled to your opinion, I suppose.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean for this to become a debate.”
Erez hums. “I know. I’m not particularly close to any individual Van Doren despite growing up with them as if they were my cousins. But they are my family, so I guess I’m a little more willing to defend them than I would be any random person.”
While I’m trying to pay attention to his words, his fingers are distracting me by tracing random shapes on my back. I grunt in acknowledgment of what he said, though I think I only retain every third.
“You’re distracted,” Erez accuses.
I love the teasing in his voice. It’s rarely there, so I crave it.
“Yes, well, I can’t decide if that tickles or relaxes me.”
Erez’s laughter is quiet. Barely there. In the dark of my room, his lips seek mine. Not once have I sought him out like this. I’m too aware of my tangled emotions and what it means to me. I also don’t want to take something he’s not willing to give, so I let him take the lead.
Even while we’re kissing, I let Erez lead the entire time.
It makes for an interesting make-out session because he seems both experienced and frequently falls off the wagon of what we’re doing.
Like it’s a dance routine and his feet get tangled so he loses the rhythm.
I have to bring him back, get him in step again, and then let him lead once more.
His hands often move over my back. Sometimes one comes around to my stomach and down to my hip. It’s not a heated touch despite the way my dick strains to receive that touch. I’m very, very careful to keep space between our pelvises so he never feels pressured to get sexual.
Tonight, it seems that Erez has something else on his mind. Right off, his kisses feel like they have a different tempo. It’s sexier. There’s something hungry in the way his tongue moves. His hand slides down my back, and his thumb hooks in the elastic of my underwear.
My breath catches, and before I can stop myself, my hips jerk forward. My cock briefly brushes his. It’s so quick that I’m not sure if he’s hard or if I just happened to poke his dick. My choked groan is warbled as I try to swallow it.
“Sorry,” I gasp into his mouth.
Erez grins and pushes his hips to mine. There’s no mistake now. His dick is hard. There’s also no holding back my groan in response.
“How long were you planning to pretend you aren’t turned on, Fade?”
My brain swims with his question, but I can’t come up with an answer. Especially not when his fingers slip beneath my elastic to brush the head of my dick.
“Erez,” I warn. There’s a chance it comes out as a whimper more than a warning.
“You can tell me no,” he says.
No, I fucking can’t!
I grip his hips and roll us until he’s on top of me. A message that I’m into it but he’s in charge. Something he doesn’t seem to be bothered by.
Erez shoves our underwear aside and grips our dicks in one hand. My hips roll under him without prompting. I have a feeling there’s no goddamn way I’m going to be lying still for him. Not when I’ve been hungry for his touch for years. Literal years!
“Lube?” he asks.
I absently wave toward the nightstand as I chase his mouth.
His body leans across mine, and I take this opportunity to kiss and lick his chest. It’s not long before he comes back with the bottle of lube.
He squirts a generous amount on our cocks, and then our mouths are locked together as we frantically rut together.
Even though I’m so fucking desperate to come, my orgasm remains hovering at the edges. Our wild rutting slows and picks up in waves. There’s no rhythm. We’re not in sync at all.
None of that matters as we take turns squeezing our hard cocks together, riding the pleasure that dances between us. No words are spoken. Only our moans. Loud breathing. The slick sounds of our wet dicks sliding against each other. It’s sensual and pornographic. Sexy and erotic.
When we come, it’s not simultaneously but within minutes of each other.
Even after we’ve emptied, I grip his ass cheeks with my slimy hands to keep his cock against mine.
Erez’s hands dig into the bed while we kiss hungrily, our hips continuing a slow rock, rubbing together, sending thrills of pleasure skipping through our bodies.
Long into the night, we coax lazy orgasms from each other before finally falling asleep.