Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
EREZ
I’ve never had a roommate before. I went from living with my parents and siblings to a studio apartment. When Zephyr was ready to move out, I gave him my studio and moved to a two-bedroom down the road. It felt more adult.
It’s never occurred to me to want a roommate. Not because I’m messy or obsessive about how I live. Or even that I’m a private person. I guess I’ve never felt like I could share a space with anyone in peace before.
For the past two months, I’ve practically moved in with Fade. I have clothes here now. I have items in his bathroom that are mine. He’s cleaned out drawers and rearranged his closet, and there are chargers in the wall that belong to me. All of this has happened without a discussion of any kind.
I just bring clothes over when I need clean ones.
When I know I’m going to be at his house, I remember that last time, I needed to borrow his charger or that he has shampoo specific to his hair type that I don’t need—though it sure as hell made my hair soft!
Fade is bigger than I am with a different body structure, so his clothes don’t fit right which means I remember to bring clothes every other day as my dirty ones mingle with his in the hamper.
When we were sitting in the living room at night, I reached for my sketchbook but realized I didn’t have any lying around, so now I do. There are sketchbooks and pencils all over the house, just like there are at my apartment.
I’ve practically moved in.
Even when we spend the night at my apartment, Fade has things there.
Not as much as I have at his house but certainly more than I realized until I actually looked.
Something about all this time I’ve been spending with Fade has me waking up and seeing details around me.
I think I’ve lived in a fog for such a long time, I didn’t notice anything.
I finish putting away the clean dishes from breakfast and toss the towel on the counter before heading down the hall. We cook together and take turns cleaning up. This is something we’ve done without conversation too. I’m not sure either of us are opposed to talking. It’s just not been necessary.
It’s all easy. Very, very easy. Like we’ve always lived this way.
The shower is running when I step into Fade’s bedroom.
The bathroom door is cracked open, so steam billows out.
Grinning, I strip my clothes and push the door open.
Fade is standing under the hot water, his dark skin a mesmerizing contrast to the light, ocean-colored tile behind him.
When he shifts, the nonbinary cat on his hip catches my attention, and I grin.
He’s one of my two favorite canvases to tattoo.
Him and Zephyr. For different reasons, I think.
My brother because he’s a work of art and I love the project we have going on his back with the honeycombs.
Fade, though... He’s simply stunning, and I love the way dark ink stands out on his brown skin. Colors are even more hypnotic.
Fade turns again, and I get a full frontal view of him.
Have I ever noticed that he’s sexy? I always mentally comment that he’s bigger than I am, but as I watch him in the shower, I note that he’s not actually big.
He’s only slightly taller than I am, and yes, he has more muscle because he’s weird and loves to work out. But he’s still lean.
His eyes meet mine, and I smile. His follows. Huh. He has a beautiful smile too. I blink a few times because… It’s not the first time he’s smiled at me. How have I not noticed that he’s beautiful before?
That’s actually an easy question to answer if I cared to.
Leaving the door open behind me, I cross the bathroom to join Fade in the shower. It’s funny. We talk a lot. All the time. Conversation is so damn easy. It’s always been easy. Sometimes I think conversations never stop.
Yet, equally, it feels like we don’t talk at all.
When I step into the shower, he reaches for me at the same time I reach for him, and we come together under the hot spray of water.
My mouth finds his like our lips are magnetic, easily locking together.
His hands immediately slide down to my ass while my arms wrap around his neck.
Our bodies, bare and wet, feel extra hot, and even though my cock loves being against him and is certainly getting more excited with each passing second, there’s nothing hurried about this. I’m not even sure there’s heat behind our kissing or his hands on my ass.
I hum into his mouth, enjoying the way our tongues dance together. It’s not sloppy, though it feels as if it is because of the water raining over us. Even though we can practically eat each other’s faces, there’s not usually excess spit. Spit is just kinda gross so… yeah. I’m not mad about it.
Fade turns us and presses my back against the cold tile wall. I gasp into his mouth as a shiver races through me. “Fuck’s sake,” I mutter as I let my head fall back.
He grins against my skin, his teeth scraping across my collarbone. I’m not surprised when he begins moving down my body, mouth chasing water as it leaves trails. I grip his head and groan just as his mouth wraps around my cock.
The water is fucking hot so there’s no way his mouth should feel like a furnace right now. I let out a deep breath and sink into the way he lazily sucks my cock. As if our languid kissing has translated into leisurely sucking, there’s no hurry.
Fade grips me under my leg and brings it over his shoulder. I sway a little, but he doesn’t let me fall. The hand on my leg slides along my slick skin until he can reach between my ass cheeks to run along my hole. He barely touches me, but I moan loudly anyway.
When he pulls my other leg off the floor and hoists that one over his other shoulder too, my body stiffens as I push against the wall and him to try to keep myself upright. I feel his smile stretch around my cock.
“Don’t drop me, show-off,” I gripe.
He chuckles, and the vibration races along my dick. Shit.
I’m probably holding onto his head far tighter than I need to be.
Which, of course, has me pulling his head into my groin, forcing him to take my dick deep into his throat.
Not that he seems to care. Nor does he choke.
I’m not actually holding him like this to control how he sucks me.
Not having feet on the ground makes me feel ridiculously unstable.
As soon as his fingers begin truly prodding my ass, I know exactly why he’s picked my feet up. He wanted better access. I’m not sure this is truly better though. My muscles start to release as he works two fingers inside me and immediately begins to work my prostate as he sucks my cock.
Everything about what he’s doing to me has me sinking further and further into a pleasure pool.
I think he’s taken lessons on how to make someone feel good.
Nothing he does is ever hurried, and this is no different.
He gradually builds my orgasm until it spills over with the same fluidity that he built it with.
Measured, continuous, and slow, it overtakes me until I truly become limp.
I don’t even have the strength to catch myself as I completely slide down the wall when he releases my dick. Fade laughs as he guides me onto his lap and takes my mouth with his once more.
“You work my hole for your dick?” I ask into his mouth.
His smile grows. “No. Just making you feel good.”
I hum. “You can fuck me now. I’m all loosey goosey for you.”
Fade laughs. “Yeah?”
I hum again. Honestly, I feel really fucking good right now. Intense orgasms are great and all, but there’s something deeply satisfying about the kind that Fade just gave me. I could live in this state forever and be happy.
“I don’t bring condoms into the shower,” he says against my jaw.
“I don’t care,” I say before I can stop the words.
“No?”
“Just, you know… pull out. I don’t want to get pregnant.”
He snorts with laughter. “Weird fuck.”
“I want you to feel good, and I’m too noodly to do it right now.”
Fade continues to press kisses along my jaw and neck. “I’m fine, Erez. I enjoy your pleasure. I don’t need to get off right now.”
“You can fuck me later then.”
“I’ll take you up on that. Want me to wash you?”
“You’re going to ruin me for anyone else,” I warn.
Fade doesn’t respond. His mouth pauses briefly before continuing to pepper kisses along my skin. He reaches for a glove and suds it with body wash before slowly and thoroughly washing me all over. Honestly, I’m purring by the time he deems me clean.
By then, I’m not quite so boneless so I manage to take the washing glove from him and return the kind gesture. He remains hard the entire time so I decide to see if he enjoys a washing glove handie that’s all slick with soap on his dick.
Spoiler—he does. He shoots cum onto my chest then huffs a complaint that he just washed me.
Eventually, we get out of the shower, and I join him in his studio. There’s a big chair that randomly appeared there a few weeks ago after I’d been sitting on the floor for a couple days. I get comfortable with a sketchbook and listen to him record.
Sometimes, I stare at him, watching as he reads. It’s not just reading though. While he doesn’t move from the place where he’s sitting at his computer, he does move. Gestures. Makes faces. Smiles when the script says he does.
He’s mesmerizing to watch. As I admire him, I note that voice actors’ jobs are probably more difficult than visual actors. They have to convey emotions without anyone seeing their body language to help with the interpretation of what they’re watching.
Leaning my head back on the chair, I close my eyes and listen to him. His words skip over me, never lingering long enough for me to decipher. It’s the tone of his voice, the emotion he injects into them, the tenor of his laughter.
Listening to Fade has me floating somewhere just outside of my body, hovering a few inches as his voice moves around me. Like a cartoon where the music notes visually dance through the air, I think I feel his voice brush against me.
I’m startled out of the peace and crash back into my body when my phone buzzes in my pocket with a notification. Chills begin at the back of my neck and shudder down to the tops of my thighs as I blink out of the moment.
Careful not to make noise that might interrupt or ruin Fade’s recording, I wrestle my phone from my pocket. It’s a text from my brother.
Zeph
Hey
A smile flickers on my lips. Since moving out, Zeph and I have checked in with each other every single day.
Always. Sometimes our text thread will stretch throughout the day as an hour or two pass between our responses when we get caught up in something.
There are times when we exchange just a simple hey, how are you?
Maybe this is why Zephyr and I are so close.
Me
Hey. What’s up?
Zeph
Currently watching Matty try to coach the ghosts into moving objects. Since we can only see one side of the conversation, it’s hilarious.
Me
Is it working?
Zeph
To be honest, I have no idea. Maybe? Like, am I seeing the shade of that lamp move because it’s actually moving or because I can hear Matty telling Mason to move the lamp shade?
My brain is expecting to see it, so maybe it hallucinates that outcome?
Darwin thinks there’s a very strong breeze in the apartment today.
I chuckle. There’s never a dull day with Zeph and his three lovers. Growing up, I thought he’d get together with his bestie, Jude, at some point. Only now that he’s home, I’ve puzzled together exactly how he ended up with the three men he’s with—men he’s never mentioned more than in passing.
When Jude got with his boyfriend, Zeph was feeling replaced and decided to stay at Dark Island for a while.
Maybe somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought the silent solitude matched his somber mood.
Darwin was supervising the castle. Matty was locked in the basement.
Liam showed up at some point to stay with Matty.
And as they say, things happened. Some things not having to do with each other, of course.
A crazy fuck kept trying to break into the club’s secrets, and a lot of people lost their lives for the effort.
Still, I think the most significant thing that happened was Zephyr’s relationship with Darwin, Matty, and Liam.
The only other thing he took home from Dark Island this winter was his anger toward Lanzo for his overstepping when Zeph asked us for help. That overstepping brought the crazy Van Doren twins to the island too, and they insisted that Matty was a prisoner and needed to be back in his cell.
Drama that’s carried over from months ago—not that I think Zephyr doesn’t have a right to be upset. I’d be upset if some crazy fucks were trying to shove my lover into the bowels of the island, to be lost and forgotten about forever.
Me
That’s funny. Take videos. You can see things come to life on videos.
Zeph
I have been! What’re you doing?
I glance up at Fade and grin.
Me
Watching Fade narrate.
Zeph
What’s he reading today?
Huh. I look up at Fade once more. His eyes flick to mine, and a smile pulls at the corner of his lips. Trying to ignore Fade himself, I listen to the words and my eyebrows pinch together.
Me
A llama farm?
Zeph
Zeph
You guys want to come over for dinner later? You can watch Matty training the ghosts.
Me
I can’t ask Fade right now, but I think that’ll be fine. I’ll let you know. In the meantime, send me videos.
The first video comes through a handful of seconds later, and I spend the rest of the time Fade is recording watching the videos Zeph sends and trying to see if there are unexpected objects moving in his apartment while Fade’s soothing voice fills my head.