Chapter 31
Chapter
Thirty-One
EREZ
While we visit with my brother and his partners, I think Matty changes the layout design at least half a dozen times. Most of the time, it’s a small change, but he did entirely start over once.
If I had to take a guess, I’m not sure Zephyr, Darwin, or Liam is nearly as jazzed about the church move and/or living with Darwin’s parents as much as Matty is.
This truly is just as Zephyr said it was—they can’t say no to Matty.
I’m sure they all have their own reason why, and I don’t think Matty takes advantage of that knowledge.
Except this time. He wants that church, so he’s definitely going to do what he needs to get it.
From what I gleaned over the past two hours, Darwin’s parents have already purchased the church.
The final sale has gone through. It’s scheduled to be debaptized, as Matty called it and refuses to hear any other word.
Darwin’s dads are moving out here within the next month or so.
They’ll live in one of the apartments in their same building—also already secured—and be here to oversee the church reno and be close to their son.
I wonder if our parents would have done something like this to be close to us.
If the three of us moved away to the same spot, would they have followed to be close to us?
I know some families split up and move all over the country.
Sometimes all over the world. No matter how close they are, they go their own way.
I might not spend a lot of time with my parents, but I can’t imagine living on the other side of the country from them. Right now, they’re just down the road, so I can drop in whenever I want. They can drop in on me whenever they want.
Then again, I think we take close proximity for granted because we don’t spend a lot of time together. Knowing that we can is enough.
When we take a break from talking about the church house, they turn the conversation onto Matty’s photography. He loves photography. That’s clear. But he doesn’t necessarily want to talk about it.
“I had been getting into shooting weddings and stuff, but I don’t know.” He shrugs. “It’s not as fun as I remember it to be.”
“What do you want to photograph?” Fade asks.
Matty shakes his head. “I don’t really know. To be honest, now that really great cameras can be found on phones and in everyone’s pockets, there isn’t a lot of need for professional photographers unless you’re shooting events.”
“But you still love photography?”
“Sometimes I think, and when I die, all of my thousands of pictures will just be deleted. They won’t mean anything to anyone else. And seriously, do you know how often I actually look at the thousands of pictures that I’ve taken?” He shakes his head.
“That’s not really an answer to the question,” I point out.
“I guess I don’t have an answer,” Matty says. “There are days I love it, and then there are days that I feel… blah about it. Like it’s pointless. My job is pointless.”
“It’s not pointless,” Liam says.
Shrugging, Matty doesn’t contradict him. I have a feeling they’ve had this conversation already. Probably more than once.
“What about you two?” I ask Liam and Darwin as if I haven’t seen them in the last year. “Any news on your careers?”
Darwin snorts. “I’m still living the spoiled rich boy life. My daddies are even building me a house.” He gives us a bemused smile.
“In other words, he hasn’t found something he’s passionate about,” Zephyr says. “I’ve been making him come into the office with me and visit all the different parts of the estate. If there’s any one place where you can see hundreds of different jobs, it’s with the Van Dorens.”
Darwin nods. “It’s definitely educational, at any rate. I’m having a good time learning all kinds of things and probably wouldn’t mind poking around in a job from time to time, but do I want to spend my life on any one of those careers? Eh.”
“I think that’s the problem with the world now,” Fade says.
“Finding something you’re passionate about is so incredibly low on the priority list. Everyone who ‘guides’ youth rarely even advises that you should consider careers you’re passionate about.
It’s about becoming a contributing member of society.
It’s about making a living. Surviving. Not happiness or enjoyment in a job you spend more than fifty years in. ”
“That’s encouraging,” Darwin deadpans.
Fade grins. “I mean... yes. Go you!”
We chuckle, and Darwin snorts.
“What about you, Liam?” I ask.
“He’s enjoying being a boywife,” Matty says, grinning slyly from ear to ear.
“I’m sorry, did you say a boywife?” Fade asks.
Matty laughs giddily. “Yep. Sure did. It’s a thing. It’s like a housewife, but he’s a guy so it’s boywife.”
Liam stares at Matty with hooded eyes, something Matty finds extra fun.
“He likes staying home and cooking for us. Doing our laundry. Cleaning the house. Making us lunches,” Zephyr says with a grin.
“Enjoy it?” Fade asks, glancing at Liam.
“Actually… yeah. I do. I might change my mind when I have a whole church to clean, but right now, I like just taking care of my men. I like focusing on them and not having to spend eight hours a day not focusing on them. I probably could have said that more eloquently, but I think you get the point.”
I certainly do. And knowing Liam’s situation over the past few years, it makes a whole lot of sense. He might not have been the victim of his story, but he was definitely miserable and punishing himself the entire time.
“They’re the only priority you need to think about,” I say, and Liam nods.
“Exactly. I can make my whole day about them, even when they’re not here, and I find a lot of peace in that,” he says.
Darwin slips his hand into Liam’s, and Liam smiles, inclining his head to hide it some. He’s come a long way. It’s nice to see him like this. He is absolutely more at peace now than he was the last time I saw him on the island.
Our quiet conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door. Matty looks up, then announces, “It’s your brother.”
Zephyr looks at me, and Matty rolls his eyes.
“Other brother, doof.”
Huffing in annoyance, Zeph gets up and yanks the door open. “I didn’t invite you over, so go away.”
Lanzo frowns at Zephyr. “I apologized. I defended Matty, and I will now always keep him safe too. He’s important to you, and I didn’t understand that before. I understand it now. What do you need me to say so you forgive me?”
I think Zephyr is taken by surprise because he doesn’t answer right away. When he doesn’t speak, Lanzo continues.
“You used to cut me more slack because you know that I see the world differently than everyone else. You used to be more patient and explain until I could at least get on the same page as you, even if I didn’t understand why it was important.
You used to understand that you and Erez were the only people for whom I would ever set the world on fire to keep safe, and that was okay.
You no longer accepting that, but not telling me isn’t exactly fair, Zeph. ”
Zephyr continues to stare at Lanzo. Minutes pass as Lanzo waits. I won’t go so far as to say he waits patiently because he doesn’t have a patient bone in his body. He constantly adjusts his weight from one foot to another and tries very hard to read Zephyr’s expression.
Eventually, Lanzo looks at me. “Do I say more or wait?”
I try not to laugh. I love my brother. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I find his antisocial disorder endearing most days.
No matter how old we get, he always has this personality that needs guidance to understand.
As if he hasn’t grown out of being a child.
I know that’s not the case, and his defiance and inability to understand should never be confused with immaturity.
It’s the result of having several crossed wires in his head in addition to missing a whole lot of wires entirely.
Zephyr huffs in frustration. “Come in. This is not me forgiving you, but I’m not keeping the door open.”
Lanzo looks irritated too. He steps into the apartment, but his attention remains on Zephyr. “Tell me what you need from me! You know I can’t just think about it and have an answer eventually come. You have to tell me.”
“Arguing with you is a waste of time.”
“This isn’t an argument. Tell me what you need from me, and it can be over.”
Zephyr turns on Lanzo, and Lanzo abruptly stops following him into the sitting area.
“That’s the problem, Lanzo. Since being here, you’ve already acknowledged why I’m angry with you.
This isn’t just a psycho problem but a global pandemic that’s taken over—apologies are meaningless when there’s nothing behind them. ”
“But I said I wouldn’t let anything happen to him,” Lanzo says. “That’s what you want, right?” His gaze flicks to mine, making sure he got it right.
“Zeph,” I say, and he spins around to look at me. “He’s trying. If you’re not ready to forgive him, then say so. But you know you can’t change emotions that are already foreign to him. So tell him you’re not ready to forgive him, but you will one day. Okay?”
Zeph’s lips press into a thin line as he holds my stare for a long minute.
He looks at our brother again and repeats what I just said.
“I’m not ready to forgive you. I’m still angry about the entire situation, and I’m not convinced that you won’t do it again.
Yes, I’ve made concessions for you over the years because I’ve grown up witnessing your struggle to comprehend the same simple understandings we have, but I asked you for help as my brother, and you decided a whole lot without even consulting me, which put Matty in a very ugly position.
This isn’t really about protecting him, Liam, or Darwin—though I fucking expect that.
” He roughly jabs Lanzo in the chest to emphasize his words.
“It’s about you failing to respect me at all. ”
“I respect you,” Lanzo says, offended.
“But not enough to even discuss what you found on something I asked you for help with.”
Lanzo stares at Zephyr for a long time, and once more, we’re plunged into silence as we wait. Eventually, Lanzo says, “I won’t do that again.”
“You won’t because I’ll never ask you for help again.”
“No,” Lanzo says, shaking his head. “You will because I’m your brother.”
“See?” Zephyr says, and gives his back to Lanzo, throwing up a hand in frustration. “This is why I didn’t want to have this conversation again. It’s a waste of time.”
Lanzo reaches for Zephyr, but I cut him off with a sharp, “Don’t touch him, Lan.
” Lanzo’s hand freezes in front of him. “You know better. You don’t touch anyone unless you have permission, and that includes your brothers.
Just because you’re not finished with the discussion doesn’t mean you have the right to physically force him to face you. ”
His frustration is visible now, his nostrils flaring with annoyance. “He’s being impossible!” Lanzo hisses.
“This is the difference between having a full range of emotional depth and only feeling the surface,” I tell him.
Lanzo’s eyebrows pinch together, and he frowns.
“Why are you here?” Zephyr asks. “I hate when you drop in without invitation.”
Lanzo opens his mouth to answer, but I can already see the contradiction, so once again, I interrupt before this turns loud. “Just answer the question, Lan. Why are you here?”
It takes Lanzo a minute to convince himself not to address Zephyr’s statement after the question. Eventually, he looks at me. “You’re here, and I needed to talk to you.”
“He has a phone,” Zeph snaps.
“Stop, Zeph,” I say. “You’ve said your piece, and we all understand your anger and hurt. Let it go for now.”
“Always the older brother,” Matty says quietly, a small smile dancing on his lips.
“It’s a thankless job,” I tease, trying to lighten the mood a little. “What do you need, Lan?”
“Do you want to hunt the men who used Trumpstein’s services with me?
” Lanzo asks, and my heart jumps into my throat.
He looks at Zephyr and slowly adds, “The invitation is for you too, if you want it. I know you’re working with Aven already, so I…
think that maybe that’s where you want to contribute. ”
The thoughtful and slow way he addresses Zephyr says far more than what he actually says. He has taken Zephyr into consideration, and he’s tried to understand where his brother would be most comfortable.
No matter how angry Zephyr is, he also understands that’s what Lanzo was doing.
He hates that he understands it, though.
His shoulders fall, and he scowls at the thoughtfulness that Lanzo put into this visit.
I don’t think he truly intended to confront Zeph again.
I think that was impulsive because Lanzo is impulsive. That’s part of his psychopathy.
“It depends on what you find,” Zeph says. “Do you currently have a target?”
“I do,” Lanzo says. “A local target. Ady is on standby in my office to shut down security.”
“Oh. You mean right now?” I ask.
Lanzo nodded. “I was monitoring his phone, and he’s been in touch with Trumpstein in the last week since we shut down the ring. A new one or a different one is already in the works.”
My gut twists. No.
“We need to find Trumpstein,” Zephyr says.
“Aven has focused sixty-three percent of their attention on locating him,” Lanzo says.
Despite the situation, I laugh. Considering their attention spans the entire bandwidth of the web, that’s a lot of fucking attention.
“But this guy is actively looking for another re—uh… victim,” he says, his gaze briefly flicking to Fade. “It’s best to get him off the street now.”
My brain freezes for a moment. “He doesn’t have a victim right now, does he? I can’t see that again.”
Lanzo shakes his head. “No. Trumpstein was making some calls to locate a fresh delivery of…” He doesn’t finish the sentence. Lanzo can’t think of a word that is PR friendly, though he’s trying.
“Okay.” I get to my feet. “Yes. I want to hunt with you. Thanks for asking.”
“You’re unsatisfied,” Lanzo says. “Maybe this will help.”
I cross the room and grip his shoulder for a second in appreciation.
That right there is proof of how much he thinks about his brothers.
Psychopaths don’t form a lot of close bonds with people, but sometimes, they have what experts refer to as personality imprints, meaning that some people become a part of the psychopath’s personality.
I’m pretty sure that’s the case with me and Zephyr as far as Lanzo’s concerned.
I would wager a bet that’s how Orev and Arek feel about each other and their sisters.
It’s dangerous to be the person a psychopath is obsessively attached to, but it’s even more dangerous to be an enemy of the person a psychopath is obsessively attached to.
There’s very little a psychopath won’t do if they feel strongly about the motive behind it.