Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
NATALIE
A rainbow of ripe fruits and vegetables gleamed around us as Mom and I stepped into Harbor Pantry. Like everywhere else in this town, the kitschy little grocery store had been frozen in time since I left. I was struck anew by the homey touches—hand-written price tags, local artwork on the walls, even a small bookshelf near the checkout filled with well-loved paperbacks for customers to borrow or swap. It was so different from the sterile atmosphere of Chicago's big-box supermarkets.
"Natalie! Marie!" Mrs. Henderson, the owner's mother, called out from behind the deli counter. "How are you holding up, dears?"
Mom managed a wan smile. "One day at a time, Dot. Thank you."
I watched as Mrs. Henderson bustled around, insisting on packaging up some of Dad's favorite potato salad. Her kindness was so touching that my throat tightened and my eyes swam with tears.
When had I become the kind of person who breaks down at the grocery store?
Mom and I wove up and down the aisles, chatting, discussing meal options. It was like I was a kid again and we were shopping for family dinner. The squeaky wheel of our cart should have annoyed me. Instead, it was a comforting soundtrack to a familiar errand. Sable Point had infected me with nostalgia. I found myself lingering over displays, marveling at the variety of local products. Homemade jams, artisanal cheeses, even small-batch kombucha—all proudly bearing "Made in Sable Point" labels.
"Remember when you and Jasper used to sneak candy from this very aisle?" Mom asked, a hint of mischief in her voice.
"Mom! We were ten, and we always paid for it... eventually."
" You didn't pay for squat. Your father had to come by the store and take care of it—with interest." She laughed, and the sound warmed my heart. Sure, times had been tough lately, but Mom had a love for life that I envied most days.
As we rounded the corner to the baking aisle, I spotted Jasper's grandmother. She was frowning at a shelf of flour, muttering to herself.
"Hey, Nana. Everything alright?"
She turned, her face lighting up. "Natalie! Oh, thank goodness. They've rearranged everything, and I can't find the self-rising flour. These old eyes ain't what they used to be."
I spotted the elusive item on a high shelf and reached up to grab it for her. When my fingers closed over the packet, I was instantly struck by a vivid memory of baking cookies in her kitchen, Jasper and I covered in flour and giggling like lunatics.
The buzz of my phone in my pocket instantly knocked the smile off my face. Mom and I said a quick goodbye to Nana before I pulled my phone from my back pocket. Liam's name flashed on the screen, accompanied by a message.
LIAM
When do you think you'll head back to the city?
My thumb hovered over the keyboard and guilt gnawed at me. Why couldn't I just tell him the truth?
"Natalie?" Mom's voice cut through my thoughts. "You okay, honey? You look like you're ready to hurl."
I forced a smile, shoving the phone back into my pocket. "Yeah, I'm fine."
She eyed me shrewdly. "Was that Liam who texted? You've been awfully quiet about him the last few days."
The cart's wheel caught on a raised tile. I used the momentary distraction to gather my thoughts. "It's nothing, Mom. It's just... complicated."
"Complicated?" She raised an eyebrow, reaching past me to grab a can of green beans. "That doesn't sound good. Are you two having problems?"
I sighed. "No, not exactly. It's just..."
"Just what? "
I leaned against the cart, the metal cool against my palms. "I don't know. Being back here, it's making me question things. My life in the city, my relationship with Liam... everything."
Mom nodded thoughtfully. "Coming home can do that. It's like holding up a mirror to your life, isn't it?"
"Yeah," I whispered. "I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure."
"And Liam? Where does he fit into all this?"
I closed my eyes, remembering his confused, hurt expression every time I brushed him off at the wake. "He's a good guy, Mom. He really is. But being with him, it's like I'm playing a part. The successful city girl with the perfect boyfriend. And I'm not sure that's who I want to be."
Mom placed a warm, soothing hand on my arm. "It's okay to be unsure. Life isn't always a straight path."
I nodded, blinking back tears. The store's tinny muzak filled the silence with a cheesy rendition of an 80s pop song that seemed wildly out of place in that moment.
"You know," Mom said, "your father and I went through a rough patch when we first got married. I thought we'd made a horrible mistake, that I'd trapped him in a life he didn't want."
I looked up, surprised. "Really? But you and Dad always seemed so perfect together."
She laughed. "Oh, we were far from perfect. Our problems were a little different from yours. I was certain your father wouldn't want to settle in Sable Point—he'd worked so hard to make it to this country. He always said he wanted a better future for himself than his parents had. I couldn't fathom how he'd want to tie himself to me and this sleepy little town. But we worked at it. We talked, we compromised, and most importantly, we were honest with each other about what we wanted."
Honest. When was the last time I was truly honest with Liam? With myself?
"I'm not saying you should stay with Liam if he's not right for you," Mom continued. "But don't throw away something good just because you're scared of what might happen if you open up."
"Thanks, Mom. I-I'll think about it."
She smiled and patted my arm before turning back to the shelves. "That's all I ask because, after all..."
"You know things. Yeah, yeah."
"Exactly. Now, grab some chocolate chips. I'm feeling the need to bake."
I smiled despite myself, and the heaviness in my stomach started to dissipate. Then my phone buzzed again. Another text from Liam.
LIAM
No rush, obvi. But I miss you.
Why am I like this?
The guilt from my indecision was a physical force pressing down on me. But I wasn't sure I was ready to face the music. Especially when I couldn't answer a simple question.
What do I really want?