Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
JASPER
I released a shaky breath as I wandered through the rows of trees, my footsteps crunching on twigs and fallen leaves. The moonlight cast eerie shadows, bathing the orchard in a haunting glow that intensified the ache in my chest.
This place held so many memories. Every nook and cranny was etched with moments I'd shared with Natalie over the years—that crooked apple tree where we used to climb and read for hours, the clearing where I told her I loved her for the first time, the old oak that served as our special meeting spot.
Our tree.
I stopped short when I reached the familiar spot. The majestic oak that had towered over us for so many years, the one we carved our initials into with my pocketknife when we were just kids. It was gone, nothing but a stump remaining. It had been gone for years, but it still gutted me every time I saw it .
God, what was I thinking? Dragging up ancient history like that. It wasn't like it changed anything. Not like it could erase the hurt or magically fix what had shattered between us.
And yet...
It had felt so good to talk to her.
Until she bolted. Mumbling something about needing to grab something from the office and ran.
She was good at that.
"Jasper?"
I jumped at the sound of her voice. Turning, I saw her standing a few feet away, her arms wrapped tightly around herself.
"I didn't expect to find you out here," she said. "I thought you went home."
I gave a half-shrug, not trusting my voice. My gaze drifted back to the stump, and my throat spasmed.
Natalie followed my line of sight, and a soft gasp escaped her lips. "Oh, the tree..."
"Yeah. It's gone."
A yawning silence expanded between us, filling the surrounding air. I could practically taste its weight on my tongue.
"I can't believe they cut it down," she whispered.
"It was dying. Rotting from the inside out."
Just like us.
The thought hovered in the air, unvoiced but understood. We had been so full of life and promise once, our bond as sturdy and unshakable as that old oak. But then everything went to shit, the rot setting in until there was nothing but an empty shell, a hollow reminder of what we used to be.
"Jasper, I..." Natalie's voice cracked, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. But she didn't say anything. She shook her head, at a loss for words.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I'd reached my boiling point, just like Chase had said I would. Except this time, I was in a screaming and throwing things mood.
"What happened, Natalie?" I demanded. "I asked you to marry me! And you said no! No, wait—you didn't just say no. You fled the fucking state! Fuck! What do you expect from me?" I threw my arms wide, groping for a gesture big enough to convey my frustration.
"We were eighteen, Jasper. I was scared!"
"Scared of what, Nat? As if I'd ever let anything bad happen to you!"
"I know that! It wasn't about that."
"Then what was it about? Explain it to me, because I sure as hell don't understand. We had plans, Nat. Dreams. A future together. And you threw it all away like it meant nothing!"
She flinched at my harsh tone, tears now streaming down her face. "It meant everything to me, Jasper. You meant everything to me. That's why I couldn't do it."
I stared at her, uncomprehending. "What are you talking about?"
She took a shuddering breath. "I wanted out of Sable Point so badly, Jasper. I had all these big dreams—traveling the world, pursuing my passions, making something of myself. And I was terrified. Terrified that if I married you, I'd be stuck here forever. That I'd have to watch you work on the orchard day in and day out while my own aspirations withered and died."
She looked at me with tear-filled eyes, pleading for understanding. "I couldn't bear the thought of resenting you because I felt trapped. So I did the only thing I could think of. I broke both our hearts instead."
A choked sob escaped her lips, and she buried her face in her hands, her slim shoulders shaking with the force of her cries. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I was a coward. I was young and stupid and scared and I-I ran. And in the process, I destroyed the best thing I've ever had."
I shook my head before she even finished speaking, a bitter laugh escaping my throat. "You think I would have chosen the goddamn orchard over you? I'm not saying it wouldn't have been hard to leave, but damn, my parents have three other kids to take care of shit here. Jesus, Natalie, I would've gone anywhere, done anything, as long as I had you. That's all I ever wanted."
"I know that now," she whispered brokenly. "I told myself I was doing the right thing. But I was wrong, Jasper. I was so wrong, and I'm sorry."
The anguish in her voice cut through me like a knife. My anger drained away, replaced by a bone-deep weariness. "You're sorry," I said quietly, "but sorry doesn't change anything."
Natalie nodded, her shoulders slumping. "I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. But I need you to know that walking away from you was the hardest thing I've ever done. And not a day has gone by that I haven't regretted it."
I walked over to the stump of that old oak tree, sat down, and closed my eyes, letting her words wash over me. It was tempting to hold on to the anger. Bitterness was the shield I'd used to protect my shattered heart all these years. But another part, the part that never stopped loving her, ached to reach out, to pull her into my arms.
Because no matter how much she hurt me, no matter how far we'd drifted, she was still Natalie.
My girl.
My best friend since before I could remember.
The girl who owned every piece of my heart.
I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. She was still beautiful. Maybe even more beautiful than I remembered. The years had added graceful maturity to her delicate features. But there were shadows in her eyes that hadn't been there before, a weariness.
Just like me.
We'd both been through hell, but maybe we could choose to put it all behind us.
"Come here." My voice was gruff, demanding.
She hesitated for just a moment before stepping forward. She stopped an arm's length away, looking at me questioningly.
I reached for her. My hands found her waist, and I pulled her to me. She came willingly, melting into my embrace as I buried my face in her stomach. I breathed her in, the scent of her filling my lungs, warming me from the inside out.
Her fingers threaded through my hair, nails lightly scratching my scalp in that way always drove me wild. My hands flexed on her hips, itching to slip beneath the hem, to feel her bare skin against my palms.
Fuck, I wanted her. No. I needed her with an intensity that bordered on pain.
Her breathing hitched, her belly quivering under my cheek. I tilted my head back to look at her. The raw hunger in her eyes stole the breath from my lungs. She gazed down at me, lips parted, pupils blown wide and dark.
I was seeing her stripped bare. No walls, no pretenses. Just Natalie, open and wanting. For me.
My heart hammered against my ribs as I trailed my hands up her sides, learning her curves all over again. I skimmed my fingers along the dip of her waist, the jut of her hip bone. Teasing, exploring, reacquainting myself with every inch of her. My cock twitched against my thigh at the needy little whimpers escaping her throat.
Her hands slid from my hair to cup my jaw, tilting my face up to hers. Her thumbs rasped over the stubble on my cheeks. I leaned into her caress, starving for more. Always more, when it came to her.
Slowly, deliberately, she sank down onto my lap, straddling my thighs. I bit back a groan and gripped her hips, holding her steady as she settled against me.
And then we just... looked at each other. No words, no sound but our ragged breathing and the crickets chirping in the grass.
Natalie's eyes searched mine, dark and luminous in the moonlight. I saw my own longing reflected back at me, that desperate need to reconnect.
But there was fear there too. Uncertainty. The kind that comes from too many years and too much distance. From wounds that never fully healed.
I wanted to kiss it away. To soothe every hurt, erase every doubt. Show her with my hands, my mouth, my body, that this— us —was still real. Still alive, despite everything.
I leaned in. Her breath caught, but she didn't retreat. Just licked her lips, eyes dropping to my mouth.
Fuck, that was hot.
I closed the last bit of distance between us, brushing my lips over hers. A barely-there graze, more breath than contact. But it zinged through me, setting every nerve ending on fire.
She made a soft, desperate sound, and then she was kissing me back. Hard and deep. Her fingers curled into the hair at my nape, tugging me closer as her lips slanted over mine. Demanding, consuming, like she wanted to crawl inside me and never come out.
I groaned into her mouth and slid my hands up her back to crush her against my chest. She fit me perfectly. Her slender curves molded to my harder planes like she was made for me. Like we were made for each other.
Kissing her was like surfacing for air after being underwater too long. It was heat and hunger, tenderness, and passion, a thousand memories flooding back in an overwhelming rush.
The sweet give of her lips. The hot slide of her tongue against my own. The breathy little noises she made when I nipped at her bottom lip.
I'd almost forgotten how responsive she was. But it was all coming back now—every touch, every taste, every sigh and moan and gasp.
I could kiss her for hours, for days. Drown in her and never come up for air. But the need for more—to feel her skin against mine, to be inside her—was a living thing, clawing at my gut.
I tore my mouth from hers with a ragged groan and trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses along the column of her throat. She tipped her head back with a gasp, giving me better access. I took advantage, sucking at her pulse point until she was squirming in my lap, her hips rocking against me in search of friction.
"Jas," she breathed. And fuck, the way she said my name—all breathy and needy—nearly undid me.
I knew what she wanted, what we both wanted. . But I forced myself to slow down, to savor her. We had time now. We could make up for every lost moment.
And I was gonna do it right this time around.
I eased her back until she was lying in the grass, hair fanned out around her like a dark halo. I braced my weight on my elbows and hovered over her, drinking her in. The flush on her cheeks, the rapid rise and fall of her chest. The way her eyes glittered up at me, hazy with desire but soft with something deeper. Something that looked a lot like love.
"Natalie." I brushed the hair back from her face with a reverent hand. "My beautiful girl."
Her eyes glistened. She reached up and brushed her thumb over my bottom lip. "Yours," she whispered. "I never stopped being yours."
The words pierced me like shrapnel. God, I wanted that to be true. Wanted it so badly I could taste it.
But we still had a long way to go. A lot to work through.
But in that perfect moment under the stars, none of that mattered. All that existed was her and me, our bodies and hearts reunited. The rest could wait until tomorrow.
I dipped my head to capture her lips again, pouring everything into the kiss. Every ounce of longing, every shred of hope. She met me with equal enthusiasm, arching up to press her body flush against mine.
My fingers slipped beneath the hem of her shirt to stroke the silky skin of her waist. She shivered, a needy moan escaping her lips. The sound shot straight to my aching cock, already painfully hard against the confines of my jeans.
"Jas," she gasped as I kissed along her jaw and down her throat. "Need you. Please."
The desperation in her voice had me tugging at her shirt impatiently. I needed to feel more of her. She sat up just enough for me to whisk it over her head and toss it aside while she unclasped her bra. It joined her shirt in the grass, leaving her naked from the waist up. I took in the delicious sight of her laid out before me, my eyes roaming over acres of smooth porcelain skin. Her breasts were small, perfect perky mounds, nipples pebbled in the cool night air. I couldn't resist cupping them in my palms and brushing my thumbs over the sensitive peaks.
"Beautiful," I rasped. "So fucking beautiful."
A pretty pink spread across her chest as she flushed under my heated gaze. She reached for me, and her nimble fingers made quick work of the buttons on my flannel. I shrugged out of it hastily and whipped my t-shirt over my head, letting both fall to the grass.
Her hands mapped the planes of my chest, the ridges of my abs. Sparks of pleasure danced along my nerve endings everywhere she touched.
I crushed my mouth to hers again, kissing her deep and dirty as my hand drifted lower, popping the button on her jeans. She lifted her hips to help me shimmy them down her legs, taking her panties with them.
And fuck, if she wasn't the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen, splayed out naked in the moonlight. A goddess, a siren, a fucking miracle.
I hastily shucked my pants off. All that separated us was the flimsy fabric of my boxer briefs.
"Jasper," she whimpered, hips bucking as I settled between her thighs. I could feel her heat, the slick evidence of her arousal. It took every ounce of control not to just bury myself inside her, to claim her the way my body was screaming to.
But I wanted to savor this. I took my time as I covered her in soft, lingering kisses, on her breasts, her ribcage, the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. Soon she was writhing beneath me, fisting her hands in my hair as she tried to direct me where she needed me most.
"Patience, baby," I murmured, nipping playfully at her hip bone. "I've got you."
And then I put my mouth on her, and the world fell away. There was only Natalie—her taste, her scent, the desperate sounds spilling from her lips as I licked and sucked and teased. Tongue delving deep, I lapped at her slick folds before flicking over her clit in teasing strokes.
"Fuck, Jas," she gasped, hips pushing against my mouth. "Don't stop, please don't stop..."
As if I could. As if anything could tear me away from the heaven between her legs. I doubled down, sucking on her swollen clit as I slid two fingers inside her tight pussy. She clenched around me instantly, drawing me deeper.
"That's it, baby," I mumbled against her skin. "Let go for me. Wanna feel you come on my tongue."
She let out a broken moan, head thrashing on the grass. I curled my fingers just right, stroking that secret spot, and her thighs started to quake.
"Jas, I'm gonna—oh God, I'm?—"
I sealed my lips around her clit and sucked hard. She shattered with a sharp cry, her body seizing up as she fluttered and clenched around my fingers. I worked her through it, licking and stroking until she was boneless and spent.
Slowly, I kissed my way back up her body, savoring the salt of her skin. She blinked up at me with glazed, sated eyes, and her kiss-swollen lips curled into a lazy smirk .
"Mmm, you're very good at that," she purred, dragging a finger down my chest. "I think you deserve a reward."
She flipped us over, straddling my hips. The move pressed my rigid cock against her hot, wet center.
"Natalie," I gritted out, fighting the urge to thrust up into her. "Baby, you don't have to?—"
"Shhh." She pressed a finger to my lips, eyes shining with mischief and desire. "I want to. I want to make you feel as good as you just made me feel."
With that, she scooted down my body, tormenting me with hot, open-mouthed kisses. I jerked as her teeth grazed my nipple and a strangled curse fell from my lips.
Natalie just smiled smugly, continuing her sensual descent. She nuzzled her face against my abs, tracing the ridges of muscle with her tongue as her hand cupped me through my underwear.
"Fuck, Nat," I groaned, lifting my hips desperate for more friction. I was painfully hard, straining against my boxer briefs. Natalie traced my length through the fabric with a fingertip, teasing me with feather-light strokes.
"You're so hard for me," she said, hooking her fingers in the waistband. "Let's get these off, shall we?"
She tugged my underwear down in one swift movement. My aching cock slapped against my stomach, flushed and leaking at the tip. Natalie's eyes darkened with lust as she wrapped her slim fingers around my shaft and gave it a slow pump.
"God, I've missed this." She swiped her thumb over the sensitive head. "Missed the taste of you. "
And then her hot mouth enveloped my cock. I groaned as she swirled her tongue around the crown before sucking me deep. My eyes rolled back, and I buried my hands in her silky hair as her wet heat engulfed me.
"Jesus..." I gasped, fighting the instinct to thrust into her mouth. "Baby, your mouth... feels so fucking..."
The rest of the words died on my lips. I was in heaven as she bobbed up and down my dick, taking me deeper each time. Tightening my grip on her hair, I gently guided her movements as the pleasure built and built and built.
"Fuck, just like that," I groaned, hips rocking to meet her. She hollowed her cheeks, sucking hard, and a hoarse shout ripped from my throat. "Nat, baby, I'm getting close..."
She released me with a wet pop, grinning up at me as she stroked my slick length. "Not yet. I'm not done with you."
She flicked her tongue around the tip and lapped at the steadily leaking precum. I clenched my jaw, desperate to hold back the orgasm barreling down on me. But when she took me to the hilt and swallowed around my cock, it was too much.
"Gonna come." I grunted out a warning, tugging at her hair. But she just hummed in encouragement. The vibrations sent me right on over the edge.
I exploded. My vision whited out as ecstasy crashed through me in waves. She worked me through it, swallowing every drop as I pulsed in her mouth.
Gradually, I floated back down from the high, my body going limp against the grass. Natalie crawled up my body, a satisfied smile on her lips. I hauled her down for a deep, languid kiss, moaning at the taste of myself on her tongue.
We kissed for long minutes, slow and thorough, hands roaming over sweat-slicked skin. The urgency from before had mellowed into something tender and intimate. I rolled us to our sides, tangling our legs together and pulling her flush against me.
As Natalie sighed and melted into my embrace, I felt something slot back into place in my soul. A piece of myself I didn't even realize was missing until she walked back into my life and turned it upside down.
Natalie. My first love, my deepest heartbreak. The girl who shattered me and the only one who could put me back together.
She was here in my arms, warm and real and so damn perfect.