Chapter Seven #2
the two men in question, it was pretty damn easy.
“Why don’t we head out of
here and we can talk about that,” Sam said quietly as the rest of
his team started talking among themselves, in an obvious attempt to
try to give the three of them the smallest illusion of
privacy.
Aiden smiled a knowing smile, and Nick
looked excited, if somewhat confused. Of course, he would have no
idea what question Aiden had asked while he’d been dealing with the
two punks from before, but he’d figure it.
The three of them stood and said
goodnight to the group, and headed out. Sam turned back when Dev
called out his name. “Despite the fact, I will get you back for
making me eat wood—shut up, Finn,” Dev said quickly and held out a
hand when his quick-witted lover would have no doubt slammed that
opener for a home run. “Let me finish. Despite all that, you were
the first person I chose for the team.”
Sam jolted with shock. “What?” He had
always thought that Glenn and Maddox must have been the first
choice. After all, they were the best spotter and sniper team in
the service.
Dev nodded. “You’re a medic,
practically a fucking surgeon, you are one of the best riflemen I
have ever had the pleasure of fighting with, but more than that,
Sam, you are and always were the best of us. The team and their
needs always came first for you. You never fucking gave up on any
of us, and you never will. I saw you fight death time and time
again, and you came out on top. I learned a lot from you, Sam, and
if I am any kind of leader, it’s because I learned a lot of what I
do from you. I won’t give up on anyone.” Dev turned to look at
Glenn, and Sam saw the man swallow hard. “I won’t give up on you
either, Glenn, and that means on Maddox, too.”
Sam saw Glenn pale, but after a moment
he nodded. Sam said goodnight to the group then walked out with
Aiden and Nick, knowing that the two men must both be
confused.
“There is obviously a lot
I missed somewhere along the line,” Nick said as he walked toward a
Ford Raptor in the car park that looked as badass as the sheriff
who held the keys to it. “Why don’t we hold off on the conversation
until we’re back home, and I have a coffee in my hand? Everything
is easier to understand when I have coffee in my hand.”
Sam laughed and was thankful for the
respite of the quiet ride back to Aiden and Nick’s place on the
outskirts of town. Dev had given Sam a gift he’d never expected to
receive, and that made him think that perhaps his LT knew more
about him than he’d ever let on. It shouldn’t have shocked Sam as
much as it did. Dev always seemed to know when and what to say to
get the best from his team and to give them what they needed.
Characteristics that not only made for a great LT but a great man,
and one that Sam was thankful to call friend. He almost felt sorry
for feeding him all that wood dust six years ago.
Almost, but not quite.
Thirty minutes later, the three of
them were sitting around a large oak table drinking the coffee Nick
had promised. They had shown Sam around their rental property and
it was lovely, but didn’t look like a home. It was more functional
than anything, and there weren’t too many items that Sam would call
personal. When he asked about it, Aiden simply said that a lot of
their stuff was in storage. Sam felt a little unsettled by that.
Were they not planning on sticking around? If they were only here
for a short time was it worth Sam risking his heart and putting
himself out there?
“Why do I get the feeling
something else has happened?” Nick said, and Sam looked up from his
coffee cup. “And whatever it is, you are adding it to the rest of
the list of why you shouldn’t be here.”
Sam sighed. “Because it has. Christ, I
think I am so fucked up that I am looking at everything too hard.
Something that should just be a speed bump is turning into a huge
ass barrier all because of my fucked up childhood.”
“You wanna start there?”
Aiden asked. “I figure we start at the beginning and work our way
forward, deal with everything you have mounting against us one
piece at a time until it’s nothing but wood chips.”
Sam grinned and with hope in his
heart, he told them the story of his childhood. “Most kids are born
to parents who want them, right? I mean, in the grand scheme of
things, child abusers, and mistaken pregnancies aside, most parents
are looking for a child to love. And my parents were no different.
When they found out they were pregnant, they were both over the
moon! They had pictures all over the house of my mom through all
the different stages of the pregnancy from the moment the stick
turned blue to the moment she brought a red-faced screaming baby
boy into this world. Everything was perfect. They had only ever
wanted the one child, and they doted on him. His first everything
was documented, and he was given only the best of anything he might
have needed. Their world came crashing down around them when he was
diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia at the age of
five.”
Both Nick and Aiden shared a look then
turned back to Sam with questions in their eyes, but Sam held up a
hand to stop them. “Just let me tell the story my way, okay?” He
waited until they both nodded, after a little hesitation, and he
continued with his story. “My parents were both from affluent
families, and they could afford the very best in medical care for
their son. No procedure, no matter how costly, was dismissed. They
would do anything to save their son. Even do the unthinkable and
have another child.”
Sam swallowed the lump that had formed
in his throat. “And that child was me. I was born when Thomas was
almost eight. He had been living with and fighting cancer for three
years. My parents had me in order to create a perfect genetic match
for Thomas to give him the best chance at survival. They used in
vitro fertilization to ensure the perfect match, and they harvested
a lot of plasma, cells, bone marrow, and other things from me in
order to help my brother stay alive.” Sam took a deep breath. He
hadn’t realized how hard it was going to be to tell this
story.
“Fuck, is that even
legal?” Nick asked, disgust in his voice, and even though he knew
Nick’s anger was directed at his parents, Sam had to fight the urge
to flinch. “Who does that to a child, let alone one of your
own?”
Aiden looked at Sam with sadness in
his eyes. “Did it work?”
Sam shook his head, hating the
feelings of failure and shame that rolled over him. “No, it didn’t.
When I was seven years old, Thomas took a very severe turn for the
worse. He was almost fifteen and had been living in and out of
hospitals for more than two-thirds of his life. The doctors said
that the only way to save him would be for a kidney transplant, and
of course, I was a perfect match. The surgery was arranged, and the
night before I was admitted to the hospital and put into the same
room as my brother at his request. Thomas and I were brothers. We
got on, and loved each other like brothers do, despite how
differently our parents treated us. I told him how scared I was
about the surgery, and he told me that night that he didn’t want to
suffer anymore.” Sam’s voice broke on the last word, and he cleared
his throat so he could continue.
“Sam,” Nick said in a soft
voice, reaching out a hand to gently unwrap Sam’s tense fingers
from around his coffee cup. He was holding it so damn tightly he
was in danger of shattering it. “You don’t have to continue. Aiden
and I can see how hard this is on you.”
Sam shook his head, if he didn’t
finish it now, he never would. “I want you to know—to understand
why I think the way I do. Just let me finish this.” Nick kept
Nick’s hand in his, and he and Aiden both nodded. Taking strength
from them both, Sam continued. “Thomas was tired. He had resigned
himself to death a long time before that night, but through the
miracles of modern medicine and the stubborn nature of both my
parents, he had lived longer than anyone ever thought he
would.
“That night, he admitted
that he just wanted to sleep, and for the pain to be gone forever.
He told me to go to bed, and go to sleep and that in the morning,
everything would be fine. He said that he was the big brother and
that night for the first time he would be acting like one. He said
I wouldn’t be having the surgery and he would be out of pain. I
knew what he was saying, but I didn’t call anyone or react. I
simply did as my big brother asked me to do. We lay in that damn
hospital room for a long time, simply staring at each other in the
muted light. As I drifted into sleep, Thomas smiled over at me, and
he thanked me for being his little brother. He told me he loved me.
They were the last things I heard him say before I fell asleep, and
that would be the last time my brother spoke.”
Sam felt the tears sliding down his
face, but he ignored them. “I woke in the morning to the sound of
my mother screaming hysterically over Thomas’s body. My father was
raging at the doctors, at the nurses, and at me, and blaming
everyone for taking the one thing in his life that meant anything
to him. They said that Thomas’s heart just gave out sometime during
the night, but I know better. Thomas gave up. He wanted to protect
me, and he wanted to end his suffering and he simply allowed
himself to die.”
Nick growled as he stood from the
other side of the kitchen table, strode around and dropped to his
knees beside Sam, pulling him into his arms. “I’m sorry about your
brother. That is a shitty thing for your damn parents to do to
their child, but you had to watch your brother suffer and that
would have been hard.”
Sam nodded as he fought the tears that
he’d held at bay for so damn long.
Aiden suddenly appeared on the other
side and pressed against him. “How did your parents treat you after
that, Sam? Were they distant?”
Sam barked a humorless laugh.
“Distant? Sometimes. When they weren’t they were berating me,
blaming me, and my father turned to alcohol and his fists to show
me how disappointed he was in me for letting his son die. I was
never their son. I was the medical cure they endured in hope of
saving the one they loved above all others.”
Aiden sighed and tightened his hold on
Sam. “I get it now, Sam. I get your hesitation and why you ran from
us all those months ago. You lived your childhood with people
telling you time and time again that you were not as important as
someone else. You’re worried that Nick and I will only ever see you
as second in our relationship.”
Sam felt Nick freeze against him as he
nodded. “The two of you are together. You are both committed to
each other and have been together for a decent amount of time. It’s
hard enough to find your way in the world of a new relationship
when everyone is on the same page, but when you are coming in
halfway through the book?” Sam shook his head. “How the hell am I
supposed to find my place? I can’t just be a third wheel. I can’t
be less important. Or what if something happens between us and the
two of you resent each other for it? I couldn’t handle that.
Then—”
Sam would have argued further, but
Nick had effectively swallowed Sam’s fears with his mouth, and Sam
melted in against him, giving himself over to the man and the
sensations he was building within him.