Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
LONDON
H ow fucking hot was that? I sigh, biting my lip as I think about my impromptu rendezvous with Xander. I seriously want to fall back on my bed and kick my legs up in glee at the expression on his face when I said I didn't swallow. The worthless little playboy getting a taste of what he deserves. Fucking priceless.
*Clears throat* I'll never admit this, but I felt debauched and so fucking intoxicated as his cum spurt across my face and neck and it is hands down the most erotic kinky shit I've ever experienced. I don’t know what that says about me, but here I sit unashamedly tending to my hair after he made a mess of me. Thankfully, sweet Gem is kind enough to help a girl out.
“You have the prettiest hair. It’s so soft.” Gem hums as her hands rake through my freshly blow-dried hair. I made sure to wash it again very thoroughly to ensure it was clean. You know, because of the cum that got in my hair when Xander came all over my face. Gah! I’m still dying over here.
“Thank you. It’s thick and a hassle. I cut off about five inches, because it’s a lot. Maybe I should go a little shorter for summer.” I give a little shake as my hair swishes around my shoulders.
“Whatever you do to it, you’re going to be gorgeous.” Sasha chimes in from where she and Mia are sitting on the chaise at the foot of my bed, eyes locked on the TV mounted to the wall.
We’re convening in my bedroom while Gem works on my hair. They’ve convinced me to watch some show about brothers in love with the same girl. Oh yeah, and they are vampires. I’m not going to lie, it’s already pulling me in. Maybe because the older brother reminds me a little of Xander with his cocky smirks
What? No, why am I still thinking of him? I can’t resist running my thumb along my bottom lip. No. We’re done. We had fun. Move on.
Turning my head slightly, I look up at Gem. “You girls are too sweet.”
“Why doesn’t she just date both of them? I love this show, but it would have been so much better if the brothers learned to share,” Mia exclaims.
“No.” Sasha shakes her head. “I love the idea of true love winning out. That there’s one person made just for you.” She sighs, wrapping her arms around herself, a huge smile on her face.
“I’m with Sasha,” Gem chimes in. “But I also love it when they’re possessive. My man better not want to share me with anyone else. I mean, unless I want to be shared, and I think I’d want to be shared between these two. Okay, you’ve convinced me. Sharing is caring.”
They go back and forth, arguing their points, and I have to intervene.
“Hey, don’t spoil anything for me. You made me watch this and I’m fully invested now.”
That shuts them up for a minute before Mia starts another tangent.
“If a guy eats your ass, are you kissing him after?”
Me? I’m shocked into silence. Sasha and Gem look thoughtful as they consider her question.
“Well, I hated it when guys wouldn’t kiss me after I gave them head, huge red flag, so, yeah, I’m kissing him all in the mouth,” Sasha finally says.
“Yeah, I’m with you. It’s my ass, why wouldn’t I kiss him?” Gem agrees.
“Eww, come on you guys,” I cry.
“What, you wouldn’t kiss a guy after he ate your ass?” Mia asks and all eyes turn to me.
“No, it’s just knowing that Ty and Eli are the ass eaters in question. It’s gross. But for me, since this has never and probably will never happen, it’s a toss-up.”
“What do you mean?”
I lean forward. “Well, did I ask him to eat my ass, or did he volunteer?” I shrug. “If he does it because he loves it, especially if he’s just my fun for the night, then I don’t have to kiss him. I don’t make the rules.”
We howl with laughter, the show forgotten as we discuss ass eating etiquette. I swear, these girls are a breath of fresh air. I’ve known some people for years, but I’ve never felt this close to them, or been able to open up like this. And yet, I met these girls only months ago, but I feel so comfortable and at ease with them. Besides my best friend, I can’t say that about anyone else.
I glance up. “Okay, spill. Tell me all about how you and Eli met. Sasha, don’t think you’re getting out of telling me all about you and Ty.”
They laugh as they look at each other before Mia clears her throat.
“You haven’t heard this story? Okay, so at the beginning of last summer, our sweet Gem was in a bit of a rut after breaking up with this guy from school. I’ll add they dated for way too long, but she was kind of meh after.”
I glance at Gem again and she just nods as Mia continues. “In a stroke of genius, we came up with Mission Promiscuous aka Operation Summer Slut.”
I snort a laugh. “What the hell is that?”
Sasha jumps in. “It was so necessary. Our sweet Gem is not one for a hookup, she was a kissing slut, but we had to up the ante to get her back out there.”
Nodding, Mia adds, “So, one night we decided to try a new spot, Neveah, you know, to find her some fresh meat.”
“Of course, as one does.” I nod along.
I watch them with a smile as they finish each other’s sentences, recalling their summer of sin. Mia nudges Sasha with her elbow. “That first night, I think it was Xander who called us over and offered us a few drinks.”
“Again, of course.”
“Right.” Mia nods and laughs. “Sasha and I go over, she falls in lust, I take a few shots, Gem sees Eli again, and the Four Fucksmen are now a part of our lives forever.”
“The Four Fucksmen ?”
Sasha nods. “Of the Ho-pocalypse.”
I never stop laughing with these girls.
“Forty Cent,” Mia adds.
“The Fuckable Four,” Gem says.
“Gross. I can’t! Ty is like my little brother.” I gag. “And I’ve known Eli so long, he’s basically family. Stop, please!”
Mia’s eyes twinkle at my words. “What about the other two in this equation? Drew and Xander aren’t like your little brothers. What do you think about them?”
All eyes are on me as I consider my words. Honesty is always the way to go. “I totally get it. They are both handsome. Drew seems sweet, the forever type. Xander is more of your dirty little secret.”
Ha, literally.
They howl as I smile to myself and try to direct the attention away from me. “Keep going. Tell me more about last summer. But first, I have to say, I’m so happy you found Ty, Sasha. You too, Gem and Mia. You’re a part of this family. I’m excited to have girls to hang out with. I only had those two growing up. Now, I get sisters, too.”
I smile as they tell me the stories of how they subsequently fell in love. While it’s all very sweet and I love love and the way Sasha and Gem light up as they recall all the poignant moments that led them here, the little pit in my gut grows a bit bigger. I don’t think I’ll ever have that. At this point, I don’t even think I want it. Not anymore.
Running my fingers through my silky hair, I have to give Gem credit. This looks and feels like a professional silk press. After wrapping my hair in my leopard print satin scarf, I join the girls in the family room. Sasha and Mia are putting Gem’s long curly hair in braids of varying sizes, and I smile. Who knew that my cousin’s marriage would bring me three new girlfriends. Even though my plan was always to move here, the fact that I sort of have these new built-in friends is a treat.
Bringing my wine glass to my lips, I watch them as they laugh and rib each other and I silently remind myself to call my girl, Zuri, soon. I miss her face.
Looking up, Sasha meets my gaze. “Alright, Ms. Cameron. It’s your turn to spill the tea.”
“Absolutely. What about?”
“Everything. What has you moving here now?”
“What kind of guys do you like?” Mia asks.
“Are you excited to have three new best friends?” Gem adds.
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Well, now that pretty much my entire family has relocated to Chicago, or the ‘burbs, over the last few years, I want to be closer to them. It's the perfect time in my life to try something new. Besides, my parents are getting older, so are my aunt and uncle, and I want to put down roots.” That’s close enough to the truth.
They all nod as I turn to Mia. “Okay, so the kind of guys I like… I have no idea anymore. I'm not interested in guys right now.” Her face quirks up and I know before she can even say it. “No, I'm not interested in girls either. Um, I'm actually taking a break from dating. I’ve heard too many stories about the pee and debris in the dating pool. It seems like a hassle that’s not worth it.”
Sighing, I lean back on the cushion and gaze at the ceiling. “I was in a… god , a seven-year relationship until about eight months ago.”
They gasp, but I continue, lost in my own little world. “To say I'm not looking for another relationship is a fucking understatement. I want to focus on me right now, you know, what I want. Build this new life here and see what happens. These trash ass men are the least of my worries.”
Sitting up, I turn to face them, ignoring their sympathetic faces. “And yes, Gem, I'm so excited to have three new best friends. I literally was just thinking that those boys falling in love made us like an instant family. Being around you all and seeing your close bond has really helped me feel confident in my decision to move here and make this place my home. I'm grateful Ty and Eli couldn’t keep it in their pants and for having such great taste.”
“Yes, honey. They have excellent taste!” Mia adds with a smile.
“Cheers to that.” We laugh as I continue to watch them play with Gem’s curls.
“I overheard you say you have some job interviews,” Sasha asks. “Tell us more about what you do?”
I take another sip of my Riesling before responding. “Brand photography. I had a few colleagues spread the word about my move and I cast a few lines. There are several opportunities here I’m excited about.”
“That’s awesome. Besides styling, I’m a bit of an influencer. Mostly fashion and makeup. I’d love to collaborate on something if possible.” Mia’s bright eyes and smile have me nodding without a thought.
“Absolutely. I’d actually love to work for myself, you know, freelance, but getting started during a move is even too much for me to handle, but maybe in a year or two.” Yes, that’s about when I should be able to balance everything.
“In the meantime, I really want to start looking at some places. I need an apartment like yesterday, something with amazing closets to fit all my shoes.”
“You can stay here as long as you want, obviously. We love having you here. But I can help you find a new apartment. Real estate shopping is so fun. I spent an hour on a site the other day,” Sasha volunteers.
“No, I know you're busy with your new dance studio, which I can't wait to hear all about, so I don't want to take up any more of your time, especially since I’m so particular. I watch too much HGTV not to be. My realtor is already looking into a few places for me. I was supposed to meet with her next week, but I'll give her a call and let her know I'm here early and hopefully I can find a place sooner rather than later. She emailed that a few places she planned to show me already have offers, so this may be a little harder than I expected.” Grimacing, I tell her, “I know you guys are still in your newlywed lovey dovey era and I'd hate to cramp your style.”
Sasha laughs. “Oh, no worries about that, but I can't help but notice you picked the room furthest away from ours.”
The other girls snicker as I say, “Yeah, I cannot, let me reiterate this, I CANNOT overhear you guys at all.” I shudder.
Sasha’s hand flies to her face as we all burst out laughing before Mia turns to me.
“We should really be asking what you’re looking for besides closet space so we can help.”
I don’t even need to think about it. “I need at least three bedrooms.”
“Three?” they all exclaim.
I avert my gaze. “Yes, one for me, one for guests, and maybe I could use one for my office or something. Three bathrooms, maybe a nice yard, or near a park, and parking.”
“It sounds like you're not looking for a high rise but more of a cute little neighborhood walk up or single-family home?”
I nod. “I’m considering everything.”
“You would love the neighborhoods near Mia.”
Mia bounces on the couch. “I would absolutely love it if you lived near me. These girls left me all alone to live with their men. But I would love another single girl to play wingwoman with me.”
“I have an idea,” Sasha says. “We can show you around too, but what if we have each of the guys to take you around their buildings, their neighborhoods, just so you get a better feel for it? I mean I know your realtor can, but just in case she can't see you until next week this may give you a better idea of what you're looking for.”
Mia and Gem nod. Gem adds, “I like that idea. They can show you all the ins and outs of the area, the great restaurants, shopping, and you'll already have a friend nearby if you decide to move into that area.”
I glance at Sasha, but she's the picture of innocence and I don't know her well enough to determine if she’s up to something. “Yes, that sounds great.”
She smiles sweetly. “Perfect. I'll chat with them for you and get everything set up,” she says.
Mia pulls the attention back to her. “Tell us about this seven-year relationship. I already feel like I’m going to hate him.”
I consider if I hate him or if I even could. Can you truly hate someone you loved enough to want to commit yourself to forever?
Expelling a breath, I share, “It was a bit of a slow burn. He was a friend for so long and we shared something special for a while, but we probably should have ended our romantic relationship years ago. In the end, we just wanted different things.”
Yeah, we wanted different things but in actuality we were just two completely different people. Somewhere along the way, in all our years together, he’d picked up a mean, sadistic streak. Dismissive actions. Hurtful words. I thought it was a phase, or growing pains, as we moved further away from our early twenties and toward our goals for the future.
Clutching my pearls, I lean forward, skirting the issue and trying to lighten the mood. “Don’t get me started on the sex. It was horrible. ” I squint as I reconsider. “Yes, you know what? I do hate him.”
I have the girls’ complete attention as I rant. “My breaking point came when I realized I missed sex. Toward the end, the sheets were cold and lonely.” Too many years of quiet sex. Sex in bed only, with the lights off and curtains drawn. I’m still young and I want passion and excitement. Who doesn’t?
“Sex became a chore. Something I had to do as a good girlfriend, not because I wanted to.” I don’t share that I got tired of him using my body to get off and instead of giving me orgasms, or even fucking kisses, he’d just roll over. Do you know how hard it is to get excited to sleep with someone who doesn’t even care if you enjoyed it? He didn’t care if I was ready. He’d just spit into his hand, rub it around, and shove in. Not fun.
The sheer horror on their faces almost makes me laugh and I can’t bring myself to tell them that he’d say, “ Good night, babe. Thanks .”
As if I were just there to serve him.
As if my pleasure didn’t matter.
No matter my complaints, he brushed it aside and told me it was my fault. Something had to be wrong with me if I couldn’t get off or something was holding me back from enjoying what he did to me. That indifference slowly rubbed me raw, created self-doubt, and chipped away at our bond until I withdrew.
Shrinking away from his touch.
Withdrawing into a shell, wanting nothing more than to be left alone, slowly killed our intimacy. It took years for me to realize he couldn’t love me if my pleasure and desires weren’t just as important as his.
“Listen, I haven’t come without the aid of a fictional character and my battery-operated boyfriend in…” I trail off, well actually, I did with Xander, but I can’t say that. “…in too long to remember. Love makes you do stupid shit. Never again.”
All eyes are sympathetic as they focus on me, and after a beat of silence, everyone bursts out laughing.
“Babe, no!” Sasha’s hands cover her mouth as she stares at me with wide eyes.
“I’ve been there. Your poor, sad pussy!” Gem exclaims.
“Fuck that asshole! I hope his dick falls off!” Mia cries.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I laugh, and I try to suck in air. “He used to get mad if I didn’t want to have sex! Like, sir, why ?! Why would I get all excited for two minutes of your pleasure?”
Sitting up, I wipe my face and let out a breath. “But I stayed because I thought I loved him. I mean, I put years into that relationship, and I thought maybe it was just a rough patch, and we’d get over it. The idea of him growing and becoming the man I wanted him to be with his next girlfriend, had me settling and accepting foolishness. It finally became clear that if he wanted to, he would…” And it seemed like he wanted nothing more than to break me. Knock me down a few pegs. His ugly words, even though I knew they were bullshit, still cut me deep and led to some knock down drag out fights.
For everything I do around here and for you, I should be getting a lot more head.
You’re like a cold, dead fish. What’s wrong with you? You never used to act like this.
If I bought you a vacuum, would you actually use it? Or just pay someone else to take care of me?
You’re a feminist. You don’t need my help, remember?
The girls are quiet as I take another sip of my wine. Somewhere along the line, my happy tears morphed into outward signs of my pain. Sasha’s the first one to come over and wrap her arms around me.
“I’m so happy you’re here, with family. You did the right thing doing what’s best for you.”
Gem joins us next and gathers us both in her arms. “We all think you’re amazing and that’s after only spending a few days with you. If someone you spent years with can’t see that, I can only assume that he’s an idiot and he never deserved you.”
Mia joins us, kneeling at our feet and taking my hand. “Diva, we are so getting you laid. You deserve to come your fucking brains out.”
Snorting, I soak up their warm embraces and sweet words and huff out a little laugh. I’ve never been one for oversharing. Not even my closest friend knows what really happened. To not embarrass him, I suffered in silence. These girls will never meet him, this is my new life, and I take comfort in that.
“You girls are so sweet. Thank you.” I sniff.
“No, but seriously.” Mia squeezes my hand. “We need to throw you a divorce party or something.”
Gem claps. “Oh, yes, girl. You are getting so many new vibrators!”
“And butt plugs,” Mia says.
Sasha smiles at me, mischief painting her usually angelic features. “What’s your favorite color?”
“More importantly, do you like cowboys? I think it’s time you got back in the saddle.”
I don’t know what Mia’s obsession with cowboys is but I’m into it.
“I guess.”
“Good.” Gem claps her hands. “I’ll bring the lasso.”
All heads turn to her.
Um, giddy up.