30. Chapter 30
30
Were You Worried About Me?
“I needed a little more from this book than it gave,” Hads tells us as we sit in her living room. Book club this week is at her apartment, and Grant is on his way back from the store as we chat about this week's book.
He has really tried to step in during Amelia’s absence in book club; it’s sweet of him. I know we all enjoy having him around.
“I really liked the small town aspect, but same. It was missing something, I just don’t know what,” Paige agrees with her.
“Same. It’s a solid four stars, though.”
Hads nods her head. “Agreed.”
“Same!” Paige says.
“Okay, I know we have shit to discuss, but I need to show you guys my new bookshelf Grant bought for our spare room.”
I smile in excitement.
“Finally! We’ve been waiting patiently, Hads!” Paige says as she springs off the couch.
Hads told us she got a new shelf the other day while she and Grant were out shopping for something. She rearranged all her books but refused to send us a picture before we could see it in person.
It drove Paige and I nuts. I love seeing bookshelf photos with all her trinkets, but the refusal to show us until today was fucking rude. She got the thing on Thursday last week, and Grant built it for her that night.
It has been a week of build-up, and I’m sure it looks fantastic.
Part of their bedroom is a reading area for the two of them. Their original plan was for the spare bedroom to be their home library, but with the number of sleepovers we have, they decided to keep it as such.
“Okay, here it is,” she says as she flips the light on, and in the corner of the room is a shiny, white, tall shelf filled with books. Hads likes to read all sorts of genres other than romance, so she has an entire shelf filled with classics. Another shelf is only her favorite author and the crocheted things she makes.
“Wow!” Paige’s eyes burst at how beautiful it is. There’s nothing better to a book lover than a shelf filled with books and decorations. I love how you can see someone’s personality through the shelves they have.
For example, Paige’s shelves are filled with bright ass covers of all the contemporary romance she reads, mine are filled with darker, more smutty books and sports romances. Hads has memoirs, classics, contemporary, and some young adult novels sprinkled in.
“I love these earmuffs you crocheted, Hads. They’re fucking adorable,” I say as I grab them off of her shelf. “You really picked up crocheting quickly, babe.”
“Surprisingly, yes.” She smiles. “I needed a new thing to keep my hands busy while Grant and I watched things at night.”
“I am obsessed with this, Hads. I could sit and stare at your shelf forever,” Paige says, her hand dragging across some of the spines. Hads is not a spine breaker. She likes keeping her books in perfect condition, but Paige and I are absolutely spine breakers. It’s easier to doodle, and I hate holding the book at a forty-five degree angle when I’m reading.
One of our phones ringing in the living room cuts our tour of Hads’ new bookshelf short.
“I think it’s mine, but feel free to keep staring. If you want to steal anything, go for it.” She smiles as she heads back to the living room.
“God, I love books. I swear, there’s nothing better than escapism,” Paige smiles at me. “How have things been with you, Ells?” She rests her head on my shoulder.
“I’m okay, I think. There’s been a weird feeling of something resting on me since the phone call, but I’ll be alright, P.”
She threads her arm through mine. “Well, if you want to rant, scream, or cry, I’ll be here. Just call me. I don’t care how late at night it is.”
“I love you.” I squeeze her arm. “You know the same goes for you. I know things have been tough for you since she left.”
She . Amelia. Paige’s happy expression falls from her face. “I think she’s really gone this time, Ella. I don't know how she could do this for so long. She has to know her silence would break our hearts.”
I’m not sure what to say to that. On one hand, I agree. I think Amelia always threatening to run away was some sort of warning, but I want to believe she wouldn't just fade out of our lives.
“We’ll see, P. She might surprise us all and come back.”
But I don’t believe that, and neither does she. This is the first time Paige has acknowledged Amelia might be gone from our lives for good. If she’s hit that stage—the girl who can bring optimism to any situation—Amelia might be too far gone if she does decide to come back.
A thud from the living room causes Paige and I to perk up.
“Hads?” I ask and get no answer.
Paige and I head to where she is, and when Hads turns to face us, face pale, tears streaming down her face, her phone on the floor, my stomach drops.
“What’s wrong?” Paige asks as she takes in the state of our friend.
“Hads?” I say as I grab her phone from the floor. Nobody’s on the other line, but her phone is stuck on the call screen. “What’s going on, babe?” I grab her hand as she stands stagnantly in her spot.
“I-It’s Grant,” she says through her tears. “He was in an accident.”
“What?” Paige says. “What kind of accident?”
“He was t-boned on the highway coming home.” She breaks out of her haze and heads to her bedroom, grabbing a bunch of things and throwing them in her purse. “He’s at the hospital having emergency surgery.”
“Is he okay?” I ask, scared of the answer.
“I-I don’t know, but I have to go.”
“We’re coming too,” Paige says what I’m thinking. “Ella can drive.”
“Thank God, because I can’t drive right now,” Hads says. “I can’t even find my fucking keys!”
I grab her and pull her in for a hug, Paige joining. “We got you, babe. Let us help, okay?”
She pulls back from us and nods. “Thank you.”
“I’m calling Oliver to meet us there,” Paige says, her phone in her ear. “Hey, Ol. Don’t freak out, but I have to tell you something,” and she leaves the room.
God, can’t the Baker siblings get a fucking break with these fucking car accidents?
“He’s okay, Hads. Surgery could be a good thing. That means he’s still alive.”
She turns to me, her face wet with tears. “What if—”
“Don’t. We’ll know more soon,” I say as I zip up her bag. “Let’s go get some answers, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Hadleigh Baker?” someone says, and I poke Paige with my elbow as Hads gets up from her seat and heads to the doctor.
“How is he?” she asks her.
“He’s in recovery now. We had to remove one of his kidneys due to extensive damage to his left side.”
“A kidney?” Paige says, and I poke her again. “Sorry.”
“Is that all?” I ask the doctor.
“His left leg is broken. He had a complete fracture of his tibia, so he’ll be in a cast for six to eight weeks while it heals.”
“But he’s okay?” she asks.
“Yes, he should be fine. Anesthesia should wear off in a bit. Do you want to see him?”
“Yes,” she says to the doctor. “Can they come with me?”
“Normally, I would say no, but there’s nobody else in the room with him, so it should be fine if you all stay on one side.” The doctor smiles at us. “Follow me.”
It takes a few twists and turns before we get to where he is, and when we do, all of us see Grant laying down, eyes closed. Hads bursts into tears again.
“Thank you,” I say to the doctor as she closes the door. It looks like this room isn't private, since there’s another bed to the left of Grant, but there’s nobody in it. “Hads, come sit.”
She’s leaning over onto me, and I hear Paige sniffle as I place Hads beside Grant’s bed.
“He looks so weak,” she says. “I miss seeing his smile. I don’t like this, you guys.”
“Hads, look at me, girl.” She tilts her head up to meet my eyes. “He’s alive, and he’s fine. Grant is okay . You didn't lose him.”
She nods her head at me as she takes a deep breath. “I need my brother, Ells.” She looks at Paige. “Where is he?”
Paige sniffles but speaks. “I called him. He was out with Nick, so he was a bit far away and had to drop him off before he got here. He should be here soon. I told him what room we’re in.”
And right on cue, Oliver opens the door, a panicked expression on his face as he looks between us all. Paige and I both move to the side as he goes straight to his sister. Paige and I know he’s as worried as Hads is. Oliver is all too familiar with car accidents, and I hope he’s doing okay—his first girlfriend was killed in one their senior year of high school. Paige told me the fear has gotten better over time, but this probably dredged a whole bunch of shit up.
My heart aches for them, and for one of my best friends who’s currently passed out after having surgery.
Today sucks, and after all this shit has happened, I want to put us all in some sort of protective bubble where nothing bad can hit us again. The group of us knows loss, hurt, and grief too well for how young we all are.
I’m so tired of it. I long for a day when the group of us are happy and thriving after all this shit we’ve been through. I know that’s not realistic, but maybe it can happen for us.
“Is he okay?” Oliver asks, a tremor in his voice.
Hads nods into his shoulder. “He’s okay, Ol.”
“He fucking better be.” He pulls back from his sister. “I’d have to kill him if he wasn't.”
“Don’t say that, Oliver,” I tell him.
“What the hell happened?” he asks as he goes to hug Paige.
“I’m not quite sure, but one of his kidneys is gone and his leg is broken.” I hand Hads some tissues.
“Fuck,” is all Oliver says. I see Paige squeeze his hand, and I wish there was something I could do to help. I feel powerless as I sit here and wait for him to wake up. We won’t know what really happened until he does. I assume the police will want to talk to him. I just hope it wasn't his fault, because that would be a whole other thorn in their side after Grant recovers.
“He’ll be okay. Grant’s an athlete. They heal faster than others do,” Paige says, trying to lighten the room.
“She’s right, and Grant will want to heal fast enough so he can get back on the ice for his league with Jacks in January.”
“Damn right,” is all we hear as Grant wakes up. “Can someone get me some water?”
I grab a cup as Hads throws her arms around him.
“Here.”
He smirks at me. “Thanks, Ells.”
“Never do that again,” Hads tells him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“Well, tell the car that hit me to learn how to drive better.” He smiles despite having just woken up from a heavy surgery. “God, I’m exhausted,” he says as he tries to sit up.
“Here,” Paige says, pressing the button to move the bed up. “So your leg stays in the same position.”
“Thanks, Paigey.”
Paige only smiles as a tear falls from her face.
“Guys, come on, no crying. I’m fine,” Grant tells us. “Just some minor scrapes and bruises.”
“You're down to one kidney and your leg is broken. There’s nothing minor about that, dumbass,” Oliver says to him.
“Aw, were you worried about me?”
Oliver runs a hand down his face. “Of course I was!”
Grant places his hand on his heart. “I guess you’re not so stoney after all, big brother.”
“Do you remember what happened?” Hads asks him.
Grant nods, taking another sip of water. “I was driving, and this car came out of nowhere. I think I passed out, but then I heard sirens and felt someone pulling me out of my car—which was totaled, by the way. I think that’s what I’m most pissed off about.”
“That sounds scary,” Paige says
Grant’s eyes soften. “It was. I definitely had a moment of panic when I was in the ambulance that I might never see you guys again, but then I passed out.” He looks to Hads. “I dreamed of you.”
Hads wipes some tears from her face. I reach down and grab her free hand, offering as much comfort as I can.
“You were yelling at me, saying if I didn't come back for you, you would revive me and kill me yourself.”
“That sounds like her,” Oliver says. “I’m surprised the ruler didn't make a surprise appearance.”
Grant only nods. “Don’t worry, it did. I think that’s how I woke up. She was about to smack me with it.” He turns to Hads, grabbing her hand and bringing it up to his mouth. “I’m okay, baby.”
“I know.”
“Did anyone call my mom?” he asks us, and I see all our heads shaking.
“I assumed the hospital did,” I tell him.
“Can I have your phone, baby?”
Hads shuffles around for it, but I threw it in her bag when we were leaving. She was so out of it when she got the call, I organized her bag with everything she would need.
I grab it and hand it to him. “Here.”
“Thanks,” I hear him say as he types a few things on it. “I want to update her that I’m awake and tell her not to worry. She doesn't need to come all the way down here.”
“Why not?” Paige asks him.
“I’m fine, you guys. I’ll send her all the paperwork, and she can handle all the shit from the hospital. Do you guys know when I can go home?”
“No, but I’ll grab a doctor,” I say as I leave the room.
I take a second to gather myself, the weight of the worry and fear crashing down on me from the past few hours. I didn't want to break in front of them. I needed to be the calm, level-headed one, and I did just that. But for a few minutes, I need to cry silently in this hallway, because I was genuinely concerned we were going to show up here and Grant was going to be gone.
I’m thankful he’s alright, despite losing a kidney and having a broken leg. He seems to be in normal Grant spirits, but I know those two are going to need all the help they can get in the coming weeks.
I’ll be there, like I always am, because when one of us falls, the others are there to pick them up.