45. Chapter 45
45
A Metaphor Of Sorts
New Years Eve
I’m scrambling to get everything set up perfectly before I hear a knock on my door.
Shit, they can’t be here already, can they?
“One second!” I yell to whoever is behind the door.
“Babe, open up.”
Ella . “Oh, thank fuck,” I say as I slide across the floor and open the door to my flat. Ella’s beautiful face is my saving grace right now. “I don’t know how you make it all look perfect.”
“Why are you freaking out?”
“Because this is my first time hosting something with our friends!”
She gives me a weird look. “You know it’s only at your place, right? I literally bought all the decorations and shit.”
“Yes, but it’s at my place! I want it to be perfect.”
Ella only sets her bags down on my table, walks over to me, puts a cigarette in my mouth, and takes out a lighter. “Just calm down and let me do what I do best, okay?”
The cigarette hangs from my mouth as I smirk at my beautiful girlfriend. “I thought you hated when I smoked?”
“I do, but one isn't going to kill you, and you need to relax and get out of my way.”
I cock my brow at her. “There are other things we could do to relax,” I say as I wrap my arms around her and pull her hair.
“As much as I would love to,” she lights my cigarette for me, “we do not have time for that. They’ll be here in an hour.”
“Then put me to work, darling,” I say as I take a drag.
Half an hour later, Ella has transformed my once drab flat into a sea of streamers, balloons, a bunch of champagne, and about every snack food you could ever want.
Even though it’s just her friends and my sister coming over to ring in the new year, Ella has pulled out all the stops.
I truly don’t know how she does it.
“You might be the best party host I’ve ever seen,” I tell her as we sit and snack.
“Yes, well, I’m an expert, not an amateur like you.”
“I am not an amateur. I’m just a bit rusty.”
“Rusty?” She cocks her head at me, a challenge on her face. Jesus, she’s fucking beautiful when she’s annoyed at me. “All you did was hang one streamer and set off two party poppers!”
“And I did it well, didn't I?” I laugh as she grabs a pillow to hit me, only to stop when someone knocks on my door. “I’ll grab that, darling.”
“We might as well go together,” she says as she gets up. “What kind of host would I be if I didn't greet my guests at the door?”
The two of us saunter over to the door, and I already have a guess who’s behind the door.
“Oh my goodness, aren't you two just the cutest!” Paige exclaims as the door swings open. Oliver is being typical Oliver and standing behind her with his usual facial expression.
Paige throws her arms around Ella and they hug while Oliver and I shake hands.
“Come on in, you guys,” I say as I step into my place.
“God, I’ll never get over that accent,” I hear Paige whisper.
“Me neither, babe,” Ella whispers back.
These girls might be a little crazy, but I love their relationship. You can tell it’s special, and I know Ella spent the entirety of book club last week talking more about us than the book.
I don’t mind at all, though. I’m just glad there’s finally an us to talk about.
The girls head to the living room as Oliver pulls me aside in the kitchen.
“What’s up, mate?” Is he about to kill me right now? I’ve heard rumors…
“I’m pre-apologizing for when Grant gets here.”
I wait for him to say he’s joking around, but he doesn't elaborate. “Why?”
“He’s probably going to ask if you want to take a blood oath as the newest member of the boyfriends of book club.”
“I’m sorry, the what?”
“I’ll let him explain, but this is your formal warning,” Oliver says as more knocks hit my door.
“I’ll grab it, Ella,” I say as she and Paige continue to chat on the couch. I swing the door open to find Hads, Grant, and my sister.
“I ran into them in the car park,” Alissa tells me, a big smile on her face.
“Man, isn't language so cool?” Grant says as he smiles and walks into my place. Hads stops me and holds out something.
“It’s banana bread, a new recipe I tried. Where should I put it?”
Before I can answer, my sister does. “Follow me, Hads. I’ll show you.”
“Thanks, sis,” I say as I close my door. Everyone is officially here, and my palms have started sweating—I want tonight to be perfect. I know these guys are my friends too, but that doesn't stop my nerves.
I want tonight to be perfect; not just for me, but for Ella. For us .
“Psst,” I hear someone say as I walk back into my flat. “Over here.”
Grant shifts behind the bathroom just off my living room, and I turn to see Oliver shaking his head, already annoyed at whatever’s going on.
“Both of you, come here.” Grant pokes his head back out before Oliver and I make our way into the bathroom. He shuts the door and locks us all in here, turning the lights off as he turns his flashlight on. “Have either of you done this before?”
“You are spending way too much time with Paige lately, Grant. It’s starting to show.”
“Oliver! I told you we were going to do this when it wasn't just us two! And now it’s not,” Grant says as he pulls out a pocket knife. “Who’s first?”
“Is this really necessary?” I ask, a bit in fear for my life in my voice.
“What a great question, Leo.” Grant smiles at me.
“It’s not,” Oliver deadpans.
“Oliver! Why are you always trying to ruin my fun?”
He cocks his head at Grant. “Because I’m terrified of Ella if we happen to hurt her perfect boyfriend.”
“Perfect, huh?” I smile to myself. “Did you actually hear her say that?”
Oliver shakes his head. “Sorry, dude.”
“Damn,” I say under my breath. I would have loved to have gotten that on tape or something.
“So, are we doing this or not?” Grant asks us, his face way too excited for someone asking us to take some sort of blood oath. “We have to do it before—”
A few knocks on the door make him pause. “Guys, what are you doing in there?” Hads asks.
“You don’t think they’re measuring, do you?” Paige asks, and I start to laugh.
“I wouldn't be surprised, if I’m being honest,” Ella says. “Can you guys put your dicks away and come join the party?”
Grant sighs heavily before he turns the light back on and opens the door. “Why did you have to ruin the initiation ceremony, baby? I told you to give me fifteen minutes when we got here!”
Hads rolls her eyes. “I never said I agreed to your plan, Grant. Actually, I believe what I said was that this was insane.”
“Thank you!” Oliver says as he walks out of the bathroom. “Love, stop talking to Grant about blood oaths.”
“I only mentioned it a few times!” she exclaims, a huge smile on her face as Oliver presses a short kiss to her forehead.
Ella comes over to me, nestling her body in mine as she checks my hands for signs of a cut. “Grant didn't slash you, did he?”
“No, my perfect face is just fine,” I smirk.
“Whatever, weirdo. Can you grab the slips for charades?”
I press a kiss to her lips before I head to the kitchen and grab what she needs. I also bring some snacks into the living room in case anybody wants them.
“We have an odd number, so someone might have to—”
“I’m fine sitting out,” Alissa says, a glass of wine already in her hand. “It’s been a long day.”
“Okay, perfect,” I tell everyone. “Ella, do you want to pick first?”
As Ella and I pick our teams, I can already feel the competitive energy pick up in my place.
Team Ella consists of Grant and Paige.
I’ve got the other siblings, Hads and Oliver.
I’m already worried Ella is going to win, but I’m not going down without a fight.
“Okay, it’s a movie,” I say, on the edge of the couch. I have to win, and my team has been helping me a lot, but Leo’s team is close to us in points. I thought for sure Oliver wouldn't be of any help, but he has been doing surprisingly well.
It’s too bad I have to crush them.
“Four syllables,” Paige says next to me.
Grant is playing in front of us, and if we win this, we win the game. He starts to fiddle with his hair, making it seem like wind or something. I honestly have no idea. It looks like he’s throwing dice, as if he’s at a casino.
“ Oceans 11 ?”
He shakes his head at my guess and changes the way his body moves, but I’m still confused.
“It’s Ratatouille !” Paige shouts, and Grant nods his head.
“Yes!”
“Ah!” I get up and hug him, Paige joining a few seconds later. “We won!”
“Sorry, Leo,” Grant says, and I smack him.
“It’s alright, mate. Ella isn't the type to let me win anyway,” he smirks before sipping his drink.
“Exactly.” I smile as I check the time. “Oh, shit. We have like ten minutes until the clock strikes midnight. I’m going to go grab the champagne.”
I saunter toward Leo’s kitchen, grabbing the champagne from the ice pail and shaking off the condensation as two arms wrap around me from behind.
“I’ll grab the glasses if you pour,” Leo says into my ear.
I smile to myself. “Okay.” He heads to his cabinets and grabs a few, setting them gently on the counter. “Don’t forget Oliver and Paige aren't having any, so can you grab the sparkling juice?”
“I know, darling,” he says, looking at me as I start to pop it, careful to not let it fly anywhere.
As I pour the glasses for each of us, I’m all too aware of Leo’s eyes on me the entire time. I’ve always been able to do that—tell when he’s looking at me. Even when I hated him, I was always aware of his eyes.
“Can I help you or are you going to stare at me all night?”
He sighs heavily. “Can’t I just look at my gorgeous, sexy girlfriend without being berated for it?”
“You should know nothing with me ever comes easily.”
“Well—”
I pin his eyes with a stare. “Don’t even, Zimmerman.”
He throws both of his hands up in defeat. “Woah, not the surname, Ella. I thought we were past that.”
I throw him a wink as I fill the glass.
“Here I was, thinking we could have a nice conversation before we ring in our first new year together.”
“Well, that can still happen,” I say as I look at him across the table. “What did you want to talk about?”
He says nothing before he slides a small key toward me.
“What’s this?”
“A key.”
I roll my eyes. “Well, duh. But why are you giving it to me?”
He slides around the table and joins me by my side. “I’m not giving it to you, Ella.”
“I’m so confused right now,” I say as I face him, holding the key up. “Elaborate, or I’m shoving this somewhere you’ll never be able to get it out from.”
He only laughs at me. “It’s a metaphor of sorts.” He reaches out and takes it from me. “It’s the key to my flat. Now, it’s yours.”
“Leo, I told you—”
“I know you love living with my sister, Ells,” he tucks a stray piece of my curly hair behind my ear, “but when you’re ready, you’ll always have a place here waiting for you.”
“Hence the metaphor, I see.”
“Exactly, darling. I didn't want to pressure you because this is still very new and I could piss you off in eighty different ways tonight alone.”
“True.” I smirk at him.
“However, I wanted to extend the option for when you’re ready. Like I said, this is all on your own terms, but I’d love to have you in my bed every single night. I’d love nothing more than you putting your own spin on this place decor wise.”
I take a long look around his apartment I once called a bachelor pad when I helped Alissa move him into this place. “It could use a woman's touch.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Not a woman's touch, Ella. Yours. That’s the only one I want in the place I call home.” Then, he reaches behind me, grabs the champagne flutes, and heads into the living room, leaving me speechless in his kitchen.
I love living with Alissa, and eventually, I do want to live with Leo and create our own corner of the world. But I can only do so much at a time. Adding an entire move on to my already full plate would be too much.
And just because I’m capable of handling so many different things at once doesn't mean I have to. It’s been a slow and steady process, but I know, eventually, I’ll get better at relying on other people to help me when I need it.
Before I head back into the living room and ring in the new year with my favorite people, I send a group message to my other favorite people.
Ella: Happy almost New Year! I miss you two.
Dad: Happy New Year, Bug. Here’s to brighter days and clearer skies for 2025.
Lizzie: Happy New Year! I love you, sis.
Dad: Thanks for bringing Leo around yesterday. It was nice meeting him.
Lizzie: He’s even cuter than you described…
Ella: Thank you for not scaring him off.
Dad: That was meant for you, Liz.
Lizzie: I was perfectly nice!
Ella: Sure, sis. Be safe at your party tonight. If you need me to pick you up, I can.
Lizzie: I’m sleeping over, Ells. But thank you.
Dad: Have a good night, girls.
Lizzie: I love you, Dad.
Ella: I love you guys.
My mom hasn't reached out in a while, and it’s safe to assume she isn't around anymore, which is for the better. My sister and I haven't needed her since she walked out the first time.
As I throw my phone into the pocket of my skirt, I head to join my chosen family waiting for the clock to strike midnight, the group of us huddled around Leo’s television.
“Here, darling,” Leo says as he hands me my drink, and just as the clock is about to hit two minutes, Paige clinks her drink and clears her throat. We all turn our attention to her as she steps in front of us.
“I wanted to make a toast,” she says, her voice already tight with emotion. There’s always something so sad about a new year. In a way, I never thought this year would go how it did, but I wouldn't change any of it for the world.
This year brought growth, scary moments, new adventures, risks, loss, and, best of all, love. I can almost feel the love blanketing this room. With these people, I feel safe, feel like myself. They’ll love me no matter what.
Because that’s what friends do. They stay when you want to run. They love you even when you feel like you can’t love yourself. Whenever I feel like too much, I know they’ll smack some sense into me and remind me how much they love me.
Paige’s voice surprises me with what she says next. “To new beginnings,” she starts, and Grant cheers. “And to Ella, because without her, none of us would be here.”
I feel my eyes start to fill with tears as everyone repeats what she said and takes a drink. “What?”
“Well, it’s true, isn't it?” Paige smiles at me. “Our book club would be nonexistent if you didn't talk to me that day in the library.”
Two tears fall as I think back to the day I walked up to Paige in the library. “I’ve never thought of it like that.”
“Well, we have,” Hads says. “If you hadn’t done that, I don't know if we would have ended up here.”
I smile as I hug the two of them, a little champagne spilling from my flute. “We absolutely would have found one another if that didn't happen.”
“I second that,” Grant says with a smile.
“Me too,” Oliver says.
“Because what would life be like without the book club?” Leo smirks as he wraps his arms around me, the ten-second countdown beginning.
As the clock strikes midnight and we cheer in the new year, Leo’s lips against mine, I say a silent prayer to whoever is listening to let this moment last forever.
I’ll never tell him, but Leo’s right. What would life be like without the book club?
I sure as hell never want to find out.