Chapter 1
1
N atalya sat in her car, anxiously staring at the wrought iron security gates that separated her from him. She licked her dry, chapped lips, trying to find some courage.
Just get out of the car, Natalya. You can’t sit here all night.
Aedan had ignored all her calls and messages. Not that she could blame him after the way she’d treated him. But at the time, she didn’t think she had a choice. Still, she could have handled things differently.
The past couldn’t be changed. All she could do was apologize and hope like hell he would forgive her. She’d get down on her knees and beg him if she had to.
She’d give him anything he wanted if he would just help her save her son.
Natalya wiped her hands on her ripped jeans. Considering how cool the evening had grown, she really shouldn’t be sweating this much. Nerves and stress had her on edge. Aedan could refuse to listen to her. Hell, he could refuse to even let her through the gates.
Despair swept through her. This was hopeless. Of course, he would refuse to see her. He probably hated her.
“I can’t give up,” she whispered. “I need him.” Natalya stepped out of the car and crossed the quiet street. She pressed the intercom and, all too aware of the camera zooming in on her, tried not to betray how nervous she was. She couldn’t even see the house, but the gates were intimidating enough. A far cry from the small apartment they’d lived in together.
“Hello?” a male voice greeted her through the intercom. The voice wasn’t Aedan’s. A mix of relief and disappointment washed over her.
“I, umm, I need to see Aedan Blake.”
“Mr. Blake isn’t here at the moment,” the polite voice took on a suspicious tone. He was probably wondering if she was a reporter. Or an ex-girlfriend. The only reason she knew where Aedan now lived was through an old mutual friend.
Shit. She hadn’t thought about what she would do if Aedan wasn’t home.
“I really need to talk to him.” She could hear the desperation in her voice. “Is he going to be home soon?”
“I can’t tell you that. Would you like to leave your name and number?”
And have him ignore her again?
“No, thanks.” Tears threatened, but she blinked them away determinedly. She’d cried enough tears since Mateo went missing. Tears didn’t help.
She hurried back to her car and climbed inside, slamming the door shut. Resting her head on the steering wheel, she took in a few deep breaths to quell the panic attack she could feel coming on.
“Calm down, calm down,” she muttered. “Mateo needs you.” Natalya wasn’t used to feeling helpless. Life had thrown more than its fair share of crap her way, but she didn’t back down, and she didn’t give in.
She certainly wasn’t about to give up on saving her son.
“Damn you, Diego,” she muttered. “Why did you take him? Why?” She hit her fist against the steering wheel of the car. It had been over a year since she’d taken Mateo and left Diego. Diego had paid no attention to Mateo when they’d lived with him; he hadn’t once tried to contact her during the past year. So why would he take Mateo now?
Yet her cousin swore she’d seen Diego near Mateo’s day care just a few days prior to him going missing. Natalya didn’t understand why María hadn’t told her about it straight away, but that no longer mattered. Diego must have kidnapped Mateo. And she was powerless to go up against him. All she had was a few hundred bucks and a beat-up old car to her name.
Diego was rich, powerful, and dangerous. The odds were not in her favor.
“ Mierda! What am I going to do?” she whispered desperately.
The Aedan she’d known three years ago wouldn’t have let a little boy suffer for revenge.
But a lot had changed since then.
Aedan wasn’t there, and she was running out of time. There was only one other avenue open to her. Hands trembling, she started her car.
She had to go to Rogan.
She’d hoped to use Aedan as a buffer between her and his cousin, the leader of the Cavan Gang. Rogan scared her. Plus, the last time she’d seen him, she’d called him a thieving, soul-sucking leech.
She really hoped he wouldn’t hold that against her.
Aedan placed his phone down on the small table beside his chair and sat back.
“Problems?” Rogan asked.
Aedan shook his head. “That was Declan. Some woman turned up at my place looking for me. She wouldn’t leave her name or number. Apparently, she was an attractive brunette.”
Rogan raised his eyebrows. “That doesn’t exactly narrow things down, does it?”
Aedan flipped him the bird. Others wouldn’t have dared flip off Rogan. But Rogan was his cousin and his best friend, and he wasn’t as cold and dangerous as he appeared. At least he wasn’t with those who mattered to him.
Rogan let very few people get close. Since Brandt’s betrayal, Aedan had noticed that he was drawing himself back even further from those around him.
“I don’t date brunettes.” Not since Natalya. He pushed the thought of her from his head.
“Do you date anyone? Can you call it a date when you fuck them once, then discard them?” Rogan asked.
“I don’t discard them,” Aedan protested with a frown. Rogan made it sound like he used these women, and he didn’t like that idea. Anyone he dated, he treated exceptionally well. They went away satisfied, and so did he. He wasn’t looking for a relationship and he always made sure they knew that from the start.
“I’ve seen some of them more than once.”
Rogan raised his eyebrows. “But you haven’t really been interested in anyone since Natalya left, have you?”
“You’re one to talk. When is the last time you went out on a date?”
“Relationships aren’t for me. Isn’t Declan supposed to be your bodyguard? Why don’t you let him do his job?” Rogan asked, changing the subject.
“Because I don’t need a bodyguard anymore.” He’d hired Declan after a crazy fan had managed to get onto the grounds of his house. Declan had tightened up his security, and he usually traveled with him when he went out of town on business. But otherwise, he didn’t need him.
So you pay him to sit at home?
Well, it wasn’t like he was actually acting anymore. It seemed stupid to have a bodyguard with him all the time.
Rogan snorted. “You’re rich and famous. You’re a walking target. Stop being stupid and make Declan work for his damn money.”
Aedan frowned. He hated when Rogan went all big brother on him. He had a tendency to be overprotective.
“Butt out.” Unease swirled in his stomach as he recalled the phone calls he’d received over the last few weeks. Multiple messages from a woman promising to do all manner of nasty, dirty things to him. She’d discovered his phone number; could she also have found out where he lived? Surely, she wouldn’t just walk up to his house and ask to see him?
She probably wasn’t dangerous. Just crazy. He’d blocked her calls. Now any calls or messages from numbers he didn’t recognize, he ignored or immediately deleted.
Rogan took a sip of whiskey. “I heard from Dylan today.”
“Are he and Tilly okay?” Aedan asked with concern. Dylan was an old childhood friend. Recently, he and Tilly, his girlfriend, had approached Rogan for help when Tilly’s best friend had gotten mixed up with the Vipers. They’d managed to get Miller away from the gang safely, but not before the Vipers had gotten her addicted to Fizz, a new drug on the market.
“Yeah, he and Tilly reached her family’s place safely. He’s planning on asking her to marry him.”
“He told you that?” Aedan asked, surprised. Not that Dylan would ask Tilly to marry him—anyone could see that the two of them were made for each other. But he was startled that Dylan would confide in Rogan and a little hurt that he hadn’t told him. Aedan brushed off the stupid thought. He wasn’t a teenager trying to keep up with the bigger, older boys anymore. Nor was he that lonely kid in a strange place anymore, looking to fit in.
“He didn’t. But he’d be crazy not to propose.”
Aedan rolled his eyes at Rogan’s confident statement. “It was good to see him again. I’ve missed him.”
Although he certainly didn’t lack for companionship, Aedan was short on genuine friends. The real sort that you could call on at a moment’s notice for help. The kind who didn’t care who you knew or how much was in your bank account.
Dylan had fled San Antonio fifteen years ago, right after their friend Lucas was gunned down by a member of the Seven Sinners—one of San Antonio’s smaller gangs who had been trying to make a name for themselves. Aedan and Dylan had been Lucas when he was shot.
Rogan’s father used the circumstances of Lucas’s death to blackmail Rogan. He’d promised to keep Dylan and Aedan out of trouble with both the cops and the other gang if Rogan would agree to eventually take over the leadership of the Cavans.
Rogan had taken the deal.
“Sometimes I still dream about the night Lucas was murdered,” Aedan admitted.
Rogan glanced over at him, his face difficult to read.
Aedan and Dylan’s freedom had cost Rogan his. Aedan still felt the guilt of that weighing deeply on him.
“Stop it.” Rogan’s face grew firm.
“Stop what?”
“Stop feeling so damn guilty. We were kids. Yeah, the three of you had no business trying to scare off some lowlife drug pushers, but you didn’t know that Lucas would get shot. No one could have foreseen that he’d die.”
But Aedan had known. His gut had been screaming at him that going out that night was a terrible idea. Yet, he’d still gone with Lucas and Dylan without protest because he’d wanted to be a part of the group. He’d always felt like the odd one out. Younger, smaller, less physically adept.
His silence had cost Lucas his life, and in a way, it had cost Rogan his too.
“It’s the past,” Rogan stated. “And we should leave it at that. My grandfather formed this gang. It’s in my blood. I never had a chance to be free. What happened to Lucas just made things easier for my father.”
Aedan still couldn’t help but feel guilty.
“It was great to see Dylan. But we have nothing in common now.” Rogan’s face grew pensive. “Dylan has a normal life. He’ll marry Tilly, have children, and live happily ever after. I don’t have a part to play in that.”
“You’re not the fucking Devil, Rogan.”
“I’m a criminal. I’ve done some terrible things.”
Aedan leaned forward. “Only when you had no other choice. You protected your men and their families. You brought them respectability. They’re making more money, and they’re safer than they ever were before. Because of you.”
Rogan smiled faintly. “Not everyone thinks that becoming more legit is a good idea.”
“Brandt was an idiot.” If Brandt was still alive, Aedan would happily kill him. Well, he’d hire someone else to do it. Aedan was a firm believer in playing to your strengths.
Murder wasn’t one of his.
Brandt had been Rogan’s trusted second for years. There was no way anyone could have seen his betrayal coming. But he’d been unhappy with the direction Rogan was taking the gang, and so he’d plotted Rogan’s downfall with the intention of taking over.
“How is Miller?” Aedan asked.
Rogan stared into his drink. “She’s fragile. Brittle. Scared.”
“Her recovery is going to be a tough one.”
“I went to the rehab center last night to talk to her. She believes the Vipers had something to do with her mother’s murder. Apparently, right before she was murdered, Miller’s mother was dating Iker.”
The former leader of the Vipers? That was the reason Miller had tried to join the gang?
Aedan winced. “So Miller thought she’d simply gain the gang’s trust and then snoop around for clues about her mother’s death?”
“Something like that.”
“Little fool. She’s damn lucky to be alive. If they’d found out that’s what she was up to, they’d have slit her throat and dumped her in the river.”
“Which is why they can’t ever know. Iker might be dead, but it doesn’t mean Miller is safe. I need to do some negotiation with Isaac.”
“He’s taking over the Vipers now that Iker is dead?”
Rogan nodded. “And he owes me. Unless they want me as an enemy, they must pay reparations for defaulting on our agreement.”
Rogan had an agreement with the largest players in the city, including the Vipers. They didn’t encroach on each other’s territory or try to steal business. Iker had betrayed that agreement by working with Brandt to overthrow Rogan.
Aedan lived on the fringes of this world. He wasn’t part of the gang, but he spent more time at Rogan’s house than his own. He didn’t like being alone. He was grateful he didn’t have to walk a minefield like Rogan did every day.
“Yeah?” Rogan called out as there was a knock on the door.
Colm, one of Rogan’s bodyguards, stepped into the room. “Boss, there’s a woman at the gate. Says she wants to see you.”
Rogan looked over at Aedan.
“It could be a coincidence,” Aedan argued.
“What does she look like?” Rogan asked.
“Attractive. Hispanic. Said her name’s Natalya.”
It couldn’t be, Aedan told himself. Why would she be here?
“You want me to let her in or tell her to get lost?” Colm asked. He hadn’t been around three years ago, so he had no idea who Natalya was.
“Aedan?” Rogan asked. “It’s up to you.”
Aedan didn’t want to see her. He should just turn her away. She’d rejected him. He owed her nothing.
“It’s getting late, and her car is a piece of shit.”
Aedan could read the censure in Colm’s tone. Colm was protective when it came to women, and the Scot clearly disagreed with turning her away.
“Let her in,” Aedan told him.
Colm nodded and left.
“Have you heard from her since she broke things off?” Rogan asked.
He shook his head. “No.” But he’d been deleting all messages from unknown numbers for the past fortnight. Is it possible that she’d left him a message?
“What has it been? Three years?” Rogan asked.
Three years and seven weeks, but who was counting? There was another knock on the door.
“Ready for this?” Rogan glanced over at him.
Aedan just nodded, unable to speak. He braced himself as the door opened.
Natalya was too nervous to smile at the large man who’d let her into the house. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She’d never gotten along with Rogan. In fact, she’d often wished that Aedan wasn’t friends with the gang leader.
She’d forced Aedan to choose between them, and she wasn’t proud of that. It had been selfish. Yes, Rogan did things she didn’t agree with. But it wasn’t like she was squeaky clean either.
The world wasn’t as black and white as she’d once thought.
She stepped into a masculine room filled with dark wood furniture. The carpet was a light gray, the drapes silver and black striped. Gradually, she shifted her gaze to the two men sitting in brown leather armchairs across from her.
“Aedan,” she whispered.
Slimly built with blond hair and spellbinding, intense blue eyes; he was simply breathtaking. Impossibly, he seemed to have grown even sexier with age. He regarded her with an iciness she’d never experienced from him before, and her stomach dropped.
Rogan cleared his throat. “Why don’t you sit down, Natalya.”
It wasn’t a request.
Aedan scowled. She quickly sat. She didn’t know how much longer her legs would hold her.
“Would you like something to eat or drink?” Rogan asked.
“Umm, a cup of coffee would be great. If it’s not too much of a problem.”
“No problem at all.” Rogan stood and left the room.
Mierda!
She hadn’t thought that through. Now she was alone with Aedan. Something she’d both dreamed about and feared for years.
Natalya clutched her icy hands together nervously. “You’re looking well, Aedan.” She winced at the inane comment. Of all the things she could have said . . . should have said
I’m sorry. Forgive me. I was an idiot.
And she went with ‘you’re looking well’?
“You’re not,” he countered bluntly, looking her over. “Is your sugar daddy not looking after you properly?”
“Sugar daddy?” she asked with a frown.
“Isn’t that why you left me? You got a better offer?”
“No.” She kept her voice calm, determined not to let him get to her. He had every reason to be mad. “That’s not what happened at all.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Really? What did happen? Did your better offer fall through? Did they find out that you were used goods?”
Natalya gasped, her control stretching. “How dare you!”
She couldn’t believe he was talking to her like this.
“Why are you acting so outraged? You went straight from my bed to his. What I don’t understand is how you could be with that murdering, thieving bastard, and yet you always treated Rogan like he was shit on your shoe. How many times did you refuse to be around him because you didn’t want to sully yourself by eating with a criminal? And yet, you leave me to go fuck some of the worst scum in Mexico?”
Natalya gaped at him. Aedan never lost his temper. Ever.
“You know nothing about my life,” she whispered harshly. “You have no idea what I’ve been through.”
“Oh, it’s worse than that, sweetheart,” he told her harshly. “I don’t care.”
Natalya sat back as though she’d been slapped. This wasn’t the man she’d known. The same man who’d held her all night while she’d wept after her mother had died or sent her flowers just because he wanted to see her smile.
He was acerbic. Mean. Callous.
Had she turned him into this?
Natalya placed a hand on her stomach. This man wasn’t her Aedan. She didn’t recognize him. This wasn’t the man she could count on to help her just because he was a good person.
“This was a terrible idea,” she muttered to herself.
“Yes, it was,” Aedan replied. “So why don’t you head back to your lover and never return?”
She’d expected those words, anticipated them, dreaded them. But the punch of pain far outweighed anything she could have imagined.
“How did you know about Diego?” she asked hoarsely. She’d never told him. “Did you check up on me?”
“After you left that message telling me you weren’t coming back, I actually thought that you might be in trouble. That you might need me and were trying to protect me. Rogan sent someone to check up on you. Turns out you were great. How soon did you fall into bed with him, Natalya? As soon as you arrived? Or was it planned before you even left?”
“Of course not!” She was stunned that he would even think that. “Aedan, you don’t understand. I . . .”
She bit down on her lip as the door opened, and Rogan came in carrying a large tray with a carafe of coffee, three cups, and a plate piled high with rich chocolate brownies.
“The last of Tilly’s baking.” Rogan placed the tray down on the coffee table. “I had to hide this lot just to make them last this long.”
Natalya watched as he poured out the coffee. “Tilly? Is that your wife?”
Rogan’s eyes were cool but not unkind as he studied her. “No, a friend. I’m not married. Neither is Aedan.”
She knew Aedan wasn’t married. She read the tabloids. It was self-punishment, watching him with one stunning woman after another on his arm. But so far, none of them had seemed to last.
“What about you, Natalya? Are you married?” Rogan asked.
“Me? No, I’m not involved with anyone.”
“Dumped you, did he?” Aedan asked as he rose and poured himself another whiskey. He leaned against the opposite wall, almost as though he was trying to get as far away as possible from her.
Natalya concentrated on keeping her hurt hidden. She’d known this would be difficult. It wasn’t like she had expected him to welcome her with open arms. But facing his icy wrath now, knowing how warm and loving he’d been before, was more of a shock than she’d expected.
“Actually, I left him. Aedan, you don’t know the full story?—”
“I don’t want to know the full story. You left me so you could fuck a drug lord. What more is there left to say?”
“Aedan, if you’ll just listen to me. It isn’t what it seems?—”
“Oh, so Rogan’s man had it wrong? You didn’t fall straight into bed with Diego Mota?”
“No! I mean, yes . . . urgh, you are so frustrating sometimes!” Her temper flashed.
“Natalya, why don’t you tell us why you’re here?” Rogan gave Aedan a warning look. “And Aedan, don’t interrupt.”
“I almost don’t know where to start.” She ran a shaking hand over her face. She was shattered. Had she ever been this exhausted? Maybe when Mateo was a baby. But now, she no longer had that glow of being a new mom or the feeling that she could do anything.
Now she was just desperate and scared. Terrified.
“Someone kidnapped my son. I need your help to get him back.”