Chapter 6
6
“ I just don’t understand. I don’t understand,” Natalya muttered to herself as she stood huddled beside Aedan behind the police barricade. The cops had blocked off this portion of the lakefront from being accessed by the public.
Aedan was glad they couldn’t get any closer. The divers had been searching for hours now. If they did find Mateo’s body, the last thing Natalya needed to see was him being dragged up from the water.
“Lovely, why don’t we go back to Rogan’s house and wait?” Aedan tried again, but Natalya just ignored him. She’d been like this since Tanner had told them there was a possibility Mateo had fallen into the lake. She’d pulled into herself. Aedan could understand it, but he didn’t like it. He wished she’d share a little of her thoughts with him, so he could try to ease her terror.
Natalya looked up at him as though fully seeing him for the first time in hours. They’d all tried to talk her out of coming here, but there had been no talking her around.
“Why would Diego bring him here, Aedan?” she asked, pressing her wrists to her temples. “Why would he leave him?”
“I don’t know, Lovely. It may not have been Mateo.”
Please don’t let it be Mateo.
“But it could have been. The report said a woman saw a small boy, about two or three, with dark hair and a blue T-shirt. Mateo had on a blue T-shirt when he was taken.”
Natalya placed her arms around her waist as though trying to hold herself together. Aedan watched her worriedly.
“Mateo hates the water. He doesn’t even like to take baths. He wouldn’t go in the water, Aedan. He just wouldn’t.”
Screw this. He couldn’t take much more of her pain. Aedan grabbed her, tugging her in tightly against him.
“No, I need . . . I need to . . . ”
“Natalya, I need to hold you. Will you just let me do that?” She’d refused his every offer of comfort, but he wasn’t backing down again. And he’d use any weapon in his arsenal that he needed to.
“Okay, okay,” she replied, relaxing against him.
Aedan ran his hand up and down her back. “It could be hours before we know anything. Besides, it will be dark soon. So why don’t we go sit in the car?”
She pulled away from him and pushed the heels of her hands against her eyes. “I can’t. I can’t think.”
“Then let me do the thinking for you.”
She shook her head.
Okay, time for him to step in. He couldn’t just stand by and let her suffer.
“Natalya, there is nothing you can do. Being here is just stressing you out more. We’re going to go sit in the car before you collapse right in front of me. No arguments.” He made his voice firm.
Steering her over to his car, he opened the door to the backseat, gently pressing her to sit. He crouched down in front of her. Clasping her hands between his, he frowned as he realized how icy they were. He rubbed them, trying to warm them.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were cold, Lovely?” There was a bit of a breeze coming off the lake, but she shouldn’t be this chilly.
“I, um, didn’t notice. It doesn’t matter.” She squirmed around on the seat as though she couldn’t sit still.
Aedan pulled off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders, over her own coat.
“I can’t just sit here, Aedan.”
“The alternative is to go back to Rogan’s house. Believe me, I’m tempted to drag you back there and give you a sedative to help you sleep.”
Her jaw dropped as she gaped at him. “You wouldn’t.”
No, he wouldn’t forcibly drug her. But she didn’t need to know that.
“You’ve changed.” She watched him closely.
Did that upset her? Would she rather have the old Aedan back? He pushed those thoughts to one side. Now wasn’t the time.
“We both have. You can’t tell me you thought I would be the same man.”
“No, I guess not.”
He ran his hands up her legs, then clasped them behind her back. “I have no idea what you must be going through, Natalya. But until we know the worst, you have to just believe that everything will be all right.”
“It’s so hard!” she cried. “I can’t go on if anything happens to him. I can’t.”
He pulled her against his chest and hugged her tightly.
“Scoot over, baby.” As she slid over, he sat beside her and pulled her close to him. “Why don’t we talk about something else?”
“Like what?” she asked dully.
Aedan ran his hand through her thick hair. “What did you do after you left Diego?”
She was silent for so long he didn’t think she was going to answer. Maybe he should just drive them out of there. Waiting here was getting them nowhere.
“I didn’t want to stay in Matamoros,” she suddenly exclaimed. “There was nothing for me there anymore. Just a few cousins and an uncle who I barely knew. I’d saved up a little bit of money which got us over the border. I had to wait for the paperwork for Mateo and we stayed in this really awful motel. When all the paperwork finally came through, I immediately bought us two bus tickets and we made our way to Hondo.”
“You went there because of your cousin?”
“Yes. I knew she would help us. I know I should have taken us farther away, but I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t have the money to rent an apartment. And I didn’t want to leave Mateo with strangers while I worked. María worked at a day care center, so I put him in there when I got a job.”
“Doing what?”
“Waitressing. I took the first job I could find. It wasn’t ideal, but it paid the bills and put food on the table. Most of the time.”
Christ, he hated thinking about her having to live hand to mouth, working her guts out just so they could eat.
“Why didn’t you come to me?” he finally asked.
She sat back slightly, stiffening. “Because I didn’t think you’d care. Would you have answered my phone calls?”
Maybe not. He had wanted nothing to do with her. But would he have turned her away if she’d turned up on his doorstep with a child in tow?
“I’d have cared,” he told her. “I’ve never stopped caring about you, Natalya.”
“Aedan, I can’t do this anymore. Not right now.”
He pulled her tightly against him. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I just can’t stand the idea of you alone and needing me.”
“I had Mateo. He’s such a good boy. So kind and gentle. Oh, he’s no angel. Especially since we left Diego. I’m not sure if it’s his age or all the changes, but he’s definitely started playing up more now.”
“It was a huge change for him. That can be unsettling for a kid.”
“You were twelve when you moved to the States, weren’t you?” she asked.
“Yeah. And even though I was a lot older than Mateo, I didn’t handle leaving all my friends and grandfather very well.”
“I remember you talking about your grandfather. The two of you were close, weren’t you?”
He nodded.
“You didn’t make friends quickly?” she asked.
“No. I was different. That’s not always a good thing when you’re a kid. I had a weird accent, I was smaller than everyone else, and I had a bit of a smart mouth. I might as well have planted a sign on my back saying, ‘kick me.’ That’s why I worked so hard to get rid of my accent. I wanted to fit in. I wanted people to like me.”
He’d quickly learned that being different could make life unpleasant. So he’d concentrated on trying to sound and act like everyone else.
“You never told me this before,” she said.
“I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. I always felt insecure as a child, like I wasn’t as good as everyone else. I wasn’t as tough as Rogan or as athletic as Lucas or as charming as Dylan. Did I ever tell you that I met Lucas at basketball camp?” He’d told her about Lucas and how he’d been shot. But he couldn’t remember if he’d told her about how he’d met the other boy.
“No. Really? You liked basketball?”
“I hated it, but for some reason, my parents decided I needed to meet other kids my age, so they forced me to go. I sucked, and the other kids hounded me. Lucas stood up for me. He was a year older, and he became my hero. When we got back from camp, even though we went to different schools, we stayed friends. He introduced me to Dylan.”
“What about Rogan? You’ve always been close to him.”
“He’s a couple of years older than me, so we weren’t at the same school when I first arrived. Once I moved into the same school as him, things became easier. No one wanted to mess with Rogan MacGuire’s cousin. But even though I’d found friends who accepted me, I still felt like I didn’t always fit in.”
“I think everyone feels like that at some stage.”
“I guess,” he agreed.
“Is that part of the reason you went into acting? I always knew you would do well.”
“I wanted to be popular. Kind of went to an extreme, didn’t I?” he joked. “The night Lucas died, my gut told me we shouldn’t go out. I ignored it because I wanted to fit in. I was worried that if I tried to stop Dylan and Lucas, they wouldn’t like me anymore, and they wouldn’t want to be friends. So I ignored my instincts, and Lucas died.”
“Oh, Aedan. His death wasn’t your fault.”
“Wasn’t it?” It sure felt like it was.
The front passenger door swung open and a large man climbed in.
Aedan sat forward, pushing Natalya behind him in an attempt to shield her. The person turned, and Aedan’s heart started beating again.
“Bloody hell, Stanton!” he growled. “What do you think you’re doing?”
A disapproving frown scrunched up Stanton’s forehead as he glared at them from the front seat. “What are the two of you doing?”
“Waiting for news on Mateo,” Natalya replied incredulously.
“What do you think we’re doing?” Aedan asked. Did he go out of his way to be oblivious?
“Tanner should never have let you come here. Do you want to draw attention to yourselves?” Stanton asked.
“What do you mean?” Aedan had no idea what he was talking about. How were they drawing any attention?
“The cops are going to start wondering who you are. A child is spotted falling into the lake. No one has come forward to claim him. But, oh wait, there’s a woman sitting in a car over there, looking traumatized. Hmm, wonder if that’s a coincidence?” he pondered sarcastically.
“Well, maybe we should be talking to the police,” Natalya said.
“Do you want the Fuerte Cartel coming after you?” Stanton snapped. “The only reason you’re alive is because you haven’t blabbed, Natalya. Don’t you think the cops will have plenty of questions regarding Diego and his activities? You’d be a gold mine for them and a liability for the cartel. I’m shocked the cartel hasn’t come after you already. If I were them, I’d have killed you a long time ago.”
“Cheerful thought.” Aedan glared at the other man while tightening his hold on Natalya.
He wouldn’t allow anyone to harm her.
“While you’re here, you might as well make yourself useful. I’ve got Miguel and Eion searching close by for any dark vans or anyone suspicious. You two head over to the RV campground and check around. But do it discreetly, got it?”
“But what if they find Mateo? I need to be here.” Natalya turned to stare up at him worriedly. Aedan gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
“They’re not going to find your kid.”
Aedan frowned. “How do you know that?”
“Because that woman was lying. She didn’t see anything.”
“Why would she lie?” Natalya asked. “How can you be so sure?”
“She lied because she was paid to lie. I tried to find her, but she seems to have disappeared. A few days ago, she started to splash the cash around. Folks around here are puzzled about where the money came from. My best bet is the kidnappers had her set up as a diversion before they even took Mateo. She’s pulled everyone’s attention to searching the lake and away from them.”
What kind of person would do that?
But at least it meant Mateo hadn’t drowned.
“Aedan, move into the front seat and drive us away unhurriedly. You can drop me off when we’re out of sight. We do not want to draw any attention to ourselves.”
Aedan climbed out of the car and slipped into the driver’s seat.
“You really don’t think she saw Mateo?” Natalya asked, hope in her voice.
“No, I don’t believe so. There’s something else, though.”
“What?” Aedan peered into the rearview mirror. But it was too dark now to make out Natalya’s expression.
“Your cousin María has disappeared as well.”
Natalya gasped and sat forward. “Do you think she’s okay? You don’t think she’s been taken as well?”
“No, I don’t. I think she lied to you. I don’t think she ever saw Diego near Mateo’s day care.”
“What makes you think that?” Aedan asked.
“Because she cleared out her apartment, her bank account has been emptied, and her neighbors saw her leave with a heavily tattooed Mexican man in his late twenties the day after Mateo disappeared.”
“She wouldn’t betray me,” Natalya said. “She’s my cousin.”
“Sometimes blood counts for very little. Especially when someone thinks they’re in love,” Stanton said grimly.
“Do you think Stanton sent us to the least likely place we would find Mateo’s kidnappers?” Natalya bumped up against him as they searched around the campground.
“I think it’s pretty unlikely they’d hang out here,” he agreed. “They’d stand out like a sore thumb.”
Right now, the place was filled with older couples, all traveling around in their extra-large RVs. A few families were also scattered through the grounds.
Aedan slipped his arm around her. “Come on. Let’s head back to Rogan’s. It’s dark now. There’s nothing we can do.”
“Do you think Stanton’s right? Do you think that woman was lying about seeing Mateo?” How could anyone do that? Didn’t they know the hell they were putting her through, imagining her baby was dead? There had to be a special kind of hell for a person like that.
“It sounds like it,” Aedan said grimly.
“I’m so relieved and so furious, all at the same time. Who would do that?”
“I don’t know, baby.”
“Well, I guess if my own cousin could betray me, it wouldn’t take much for a stranger to, would it?”
She still couldn’t believe it. Didn’t want to believe it.
But that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. That María hadn’t betrayed her.
Aedan stood staring at his bed. How the hell was he supposed to sleep? Thoughts rolled around in his head, each one trying to gain traction.
He pinched the top of his nose, trying to ease the tension headache he could feel forming. A knock on the door caught him by surprise, and he turned, walking over to the door. Natalya stood on the other side, looking nervous.
“Are you all right?” he asked, reaching out to grasp her hand and pulling her inside. Stupid question. Of course, she wasn’t all right. He held her close against him, swaying as she held on tight.
Heat curled at the base of his stomach, tendrils whispered through his body.
So not the time to get turned on, you asshole.
“Can I stay with you?” she asked in a small voice. “I can’t be on my own.”
“Of course you can, Lovely. I’ll get some more blankets and sleep on the floor.”
She stiffened against him. Damn, what had he said?
“You don’t want to sleep with me?”
Cupping her shoulders, he moved back slightly so he could stare into her face. This was something he didn’t want to handle wrong.
“I didn’t want to presume anything. You’re in charge right now, Natalya. Whatever you need, whatever you want, just tell me, and I’ll do my best to be there for you.”
“I want you to sleep in the same bed with me. I want you to hold me. Just keep me warm. I don’t think I can sleep, and I don’t want to lie there alone just thinking about . . . thinking about . . . ” She was starting to hyperventilate, and he knew he had to calm her down.
“Shh,” he told her. “It’s okay. I understand. Go and grab whatever you need, and I’ll run you a bath, all right?”
With a nod, she left. When she walked back into his bedroom there was a blank look on her face that worried him. He could tell that the shock of everything that had happened was getting to her.
He held out a hand to her. “Come on, Lovely. Come get in your bath.”
Hopefully, that would help her relax.
One hour later, Natalya was dressed in one of Aedan’s T-shirts, which reached the top of her knees, sitting quietly at his feet as he combed her long hair. He was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room.
“I don’t understand why she would betray me,” she whispered. “She’s my cousin.”
Thank God. He’d been sitting here, worrying about her silence all this time, wondering if he should try and prompt her into talking.
“People change. And you heard what Stanton said, people do crazy things when they think they’re in love.”
He continued running the comb through her hair, which fell like a black silk waterfall down her back.
“I’m sorry for all the times I made you choose between me and Rogan.”
He paused. “You never asked me to betray Rogan.”
“But I always wanted you to choose me over him. I was immature and selfish.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.” He wouldn’t allow her to beat herself up. Especially not when she was so low already.
“I judged him without knowing him.”
“Maybe, but you had your reasons. It’s in the past, Natalya. Time to let it be.”
Natalya nodded, then stood and held out her hand to him. There was a slight blush on her cheeks, but her hand was steady. “Come to bed with me?”
Now that was something he’d wanted to hear for a long time.
Taking her hand, he stood and followed her over. He’d managed to find a pair of pajama bottoms to wear, but even though they were loosely fitted, they did nothing to hide his erection.
Christ. Keeping himself from getting aroused around her was like trying to restrain a sugar addict in a store filled with sweets. Completely and utterly impossible.
Natalya stripped off her T-shirt before climbing on the bed.
“What are you doing?” he asked, shocked.
There was a vulnerable tremble in her chin, but her voice was sure as she stared up at him. “I want to sleep with you.”
“Just sleep,” he said firmly.
“No.” She shook her head and lay back, cupping her full breasts in her hands. She rolled the puckered nipples between her fingers and thumbs. “Fuck me, Aedan.”
His head was telling him to slow down, but his cock was throbbing so fiercely it nearly devoured his every thought.
Cool down. Think unsexy thoughts. Raindrops. Whiskers on kittens.
Seriously? That was meant to help him when he was faced with her naked beauty?
“You don’t want me?” Her face shut down and she sat up.
Shit, shit, shit.
“Of course I want you. I want you more than I want to breathe.”
Piercing blue eyes watched her thoughtfully for a long moment before he gently pushed her down onto her back and took her mouth in a searing kiss.
“Promise me I’m not taking advantage of you.” He kissed his way across the top of her breasts.
“No more than I’m taking advantage of you,” she told him. She knew that she was pushing him into this . . . but she couldn’t stop herself.
She needed him.
Pressing her breasts together, he tongued her nipples. Moisture gathered on her panties as her pussy clenched in ecstasy.
“Oh!” she cried as he sucked firmly on her right nipple.
He slid her panties down to just above her knees. He brushed his thumb over her clit, and around in circles until she was crying out, her whole body shuddering. Aedan pushed two fingers deep inside her pussy.
As he drove his fingers in and out, the look on his face grew so intense she nearly exploded then and there. But she wanted this to last. She adored the anticipation, knowing that if she could just hold off a little longer, it would be so much sweeter.
“Arms above your head,” he commanded.
She quickly obeyed him as he stripped her panties completely off.
“Bend your legs and place your feet far apart on the mattress.”
“Aedan,” she protested. “You never used to be this bossy in bed.”
“My apologies,” he said stiffly.
Shit. What was she doing? It wasn’t that she didn’t like him taking charge.
“Don’t be.” Reaching out, she grabbed his hand. “I think that’s what I need right now.”
“Is it? That’s good. Because it’s definitely what I need. And, you should be moving into place.”
He stared at her, waiting. Should this be turning her on as much as it was? Her pussy wept, her whole body trembling, just waiting for what he would ask of her next. She shifted her legs into position, knowing he could see all of her.
“You’re so wet.” Aedan brushed his fingers through her damp curls.
“I haven’t had a chance to wax,” she said, embarrassed.
“Shh, did I say anything negative?”
“No, but you used to prefer me to be bare.”
“Not everything needs to be like it was before,” he told her, kneeling between her open legs. He pulled the lips of her pussy apart with his fingers, just staring at her.
“Bring your knees up to your chest.”
Hands shaking, she did as he instructed.
“Aedan, I’m not sure ”
“Natalya, stop. You’re beautiful.” He lightly bit her ass cheek, then turned his mouth to her pussy, driving his tongue in and out of her passage as he cupped her breasts, squeezing her nipples between his fingers and thumbs.
He moved his thumb back to her clit, circling it in slow movements that had her whole body tightening in anticipation. Suddenly, he flicked her clit and it was all she needed to send her soaring.
“Oh, oh!” she cried out, screaming as she fell over into bliss, her whole body shuddering with the force of the explosions rocking her.
Hunger engulfed her as he rose and quickly stripped, revealing the rest of his finely-chiseled body. She watched him through heavy-lidded eyes, her body wanting more, craving him with a vengeance that had been growing over the years. He kneeled beside her on the bed. Natalya brushed her hand over his hard chest, down his stomach to his thick cock. She surrounded his shaft with her hand.
“Harder,” he commanded. “Squeeze me.”
Natalya tightened her hold as he rested back on his heels and groaned, throwing his head back. “God, you don’t know how amazing that feels. Your hands are like hot silk around my cock. Shit. Enough. Enough.”
Aedan lightly pushed her onto her back, then paused, looking pained. “Damn, condoms. I don’t have any here.”
“We don’t need them. I mean, I’m on protection and I’m clean. I got tested after I left Diego, and I haven’t been with anyone since.”
“I’m clean as well. Are you sure?”
“I trust you.” And she meant it.
Moving over her, he entered her slowly, pushing his way inside her bit by bit. Her pussy stretched, the pleasure of his cock inside her making her breath quicken.
“You’re so tight,” he groaned.
“It’s been a while,” she said apologetically.
“Tell me if I hurt you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Natalya,” he growled warningly as he stopped to glare down at her. “Tell. Me. If. I. Hurt. You.”
“I will. Now, will you please fuck me?”
He gave a laugh. “With pleasure.”
As his movements grew faster, harder, Natalya wrapped her hands around his neck and her legs around his thighs, hanging on for dear life. Pleasure roared through her, stealing her breath, robbing her senses.
God. She couldn’t come again, could she?
“Baby, come with me.”
“I . . . I . . . please!” she cried as she came, her body pressing up against his, trying to sink herself further into him, to merge them together. Her pussy clenched around him as he came, shuddering against her, his low moan of ecstasy joining hers.
She almost protested his withdrawal, not wanting to lose his closeness. Climbing off the bed without a word, he walked into the attached bathroom, returning a few moments later with a warm washcloth.
“Widen your legs, baby,” he told her as he sat beside her.
“Aedan,” she groaned with embarrassment.
He raised an eyebrow, trying to look stern, but there was a slight grin on his lips. “Open up. Open up, open up, and let me in,” he said in a deep voice.
“You’d make an excellent big, bad wolf,” she teased.
She parted her legs and he tenderly cleaned her. By the time he threw away the cloth, her body was heating up again.
Aedan grazed her nipple with the tip of his finger. “My, you are insatiable tonight.”
“Oh, shut up,” she said without rancor. “You know you’re the sexiest man ever born. Wasn’t there an article that had that heading? Aedan Blake: The Sexiest Man To Walk The Earth.”
His cheeks grew red. “You read that?”
“I read everything I could find about you. Even stuff I knew was completely made up.” She had tortured herself over the years with every scrap of information she could find.
“You know a lot of that was exaggerated, right? Particularly the number of women I’ve been with.”
“Really?” she asked, hating that part of her desperately needed that reassurance. “I always tried to remind myself that I was happy for you and that all I wanted was for you to find someone. But, at the same time, I was terrified that one day I’d see your engagement announced.”
Aedan cupped her face as he lay on his side, facing her. “I’ve never wanted to marry anyone but you, Natalya.”
Tears filled her eyes, but she tried to blink them away. Was there a chance she could get back what she’d thrown away? She certainly never thought she’d get this close to him again. Maybe there was a chance to repair what had been between them. It would never be what it once was, but perhaps that was a good thing.