Chapter 11
11
ROBE
Black coffee scented the cabin’s interior. Mari sat alone at the small table while Alan leaned against the bar, reading on his tablet. In light of my banter with Blackthorne, and how my bartender had screwed our guest, waking beneath a beautiful woman yet again had been a serious slip of judgment the night before.
That Mari had turned up so conveniently still didn’t sit well, but the pull to take action propelled me toward her. Her taste lingered on my lips despite me trying to forget the way she watched me get myself off to her moans. A growl filled my throat. I clamped my mouth shut to prevent its escape.
I allowed her to stay in my home, in the safe haven of the men who trusted me with both their lives and their freedom, and handed that trust over to a woman who threatened my entire household and the tentative peace I worked so hard to retain.
That peace had become a burden I didn’t want to shoulder for the short time Mari Merripen existed in our lives. Needing to know one way or the other, I broke the perfect silence inside the cabin, striding past Alan, who looked up, his brow dipped in a frown. The kid was too smart.
Passing him without a greeting, I headed straight for Mari. Dark hair curled around her face as she stared off, lost in her head. That irritated me even more. I wanted into this girl’s life, but she evaded me on too many fronts.
I rapped the tabletop with knuckles dry and splitting. Maybe Elena was right, and I needed to use some of those damned beauty products she kept sending me. At least with Mari in the house, someone benefited from my sister’s bundled care packages chosen with a sort of desperate hope. I’d stored them for so long, half were probably out of date by now.
I returned to the reason I’d headed back to the cabin in the first place rather than work my woes out on a poor tree that didn’t deserve my pent-up rage today. My moods were getting worse with every day she stayed, and my forest sessions grew longer without the payoff of the high from the energy expenditure woodcutting and shooting once provided.
Miller called it therapy. I called it apathetic bullshit.
“Finish up,” I said, offering a cursory glance at the waffle that dangled from her fork. “You’ve got somewhere to be.”
“I do?” Mari perked up and shrank back in the same moment as her unfocused gaze narrowed on my face. “Where?”
“Robe,” Alan murmured, giving his warning to my back.
I shook my head once, a tiny gesture, but I knew he wouldn’t miss it. “Come on. I want to show you something.”
“What?” Mari didn’t budge from her seat.
My lips twitched as she held firm in her resolve. Did I trust her for turning up when she did, where she did? Not on my life or anyone else’s in the cabin. Miller’s words echoed in my head. Like she came out of nowhere. If law enforcement turned up at my door, her presence inside my home would be incriminating to say the least. But did that same victim deserve to have to fight the ghost of her attacker, or attackers, when her fears could seek her in the depths of her mind every night? Also no.
The crisp mountain air had cleared my head long enough to let me see a path into one potential future, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t give her the best chance of survival possible. If that came back to bite me in the ass, at least the betrayal would be a sexy one.
I leaned down, bracing an arm on either side of her. “Do you want to know how to kick the ass of every nightmare you face from here on out?”
Her gaze darted from my eyes to my mouth and back again, but she didn’t say a word. She rose half an inch from the chair, giving me all the permission I needed.
“Be gentle,” Alan chided, whipping a tea towel against my bicep as I prodded Mari to precede me from the cabin.
“Like hell,” I muttered loud enough for her to hear, baring my teeth at both of them when she spun on her heel.
Mari mumbled something that sounded like “Asshat” as she trotted barefoot down the cabin steps and landed in a solid two-footed jump onto the forest floor.
My grin widened. I tossed the smallest spare boots we had in her direction—a scuffed pair of Will’s from when he first arrived—from the collection by the front door. She jerked a little as they hit the ground beside her but otherwise stayed still as she raised a gaze full of curiosity to me.
Her fear of me seemed to diminish as she tugged the boots on, and she hadn’t been stiff or trembling when she drifted off to sleep the night before, her body softening in my arms. Damn, but she felt good there. Like her place was at my side, sleeping with me every night. It just seemed natural. I shook my head, banishing the phantom of her soft curves pressed into my scarred body, refocusing on our task. Mari waited outside the house, nary a shiver in sight.
Step one complete.
I checked her again, but she’d already planted her fine ass on the leaf mulch and looked up at me expectantly. I winced. Perhaps I should have provided socks, too, but this ad hoc session came with no plan in mind.
The next would be more proactive, if I played this right.
“Where are we going?” Mari finished lacing up her borrowed shoes, tying the laces twice around slim ankles to make up for the excess length. She tucked the ends into the tops, her eyes too wide by the slightest fraction, lips parted.
I pressed the tip of my tongue to the roof of my dry mouth to prevent myself from telling her not to worry. She wouldn’t want to hear it, and it didn’t matter what I said. The oversized fit of the footwear looked more than slightly ridiculous, but as no one else out here would see her, I doubted it mattered.
Making a mental note to ask Alan to get her a few pairs of wearable shoes the next time he went into town, I caught her elbow and steered her to the bottom of the house yard.
A small track opened out from there, one I worked my way along, creating a defensive system around the house. The lower area led to a rapidly flowing albeit small spring that gurgled merrily despite the season. Its tenacious year-round refusal to freeze amused me, and it had fast become one of my favorite spots.
Mari followed me, her lighter step almost overshadowed by mine. “What are we doing, Robe?”
“Not Everest? I kinda liked that.” More than I’d admit. “We’re training, wildflower. Turning you into a deadly little killer.”
“I don’t think I?—”
“Have a choice? No, you don’t.” I caught her eye as I led her out of the enclosed forest.
Bemusement lit her face. “Are you always like this?”
“Innovative, protective, and upbeat?”
Mischief shone in her eyes. “Grumpy, frustrating, and high-handed,” she countered. Her lips curled, and my gaze dropped to the movement for the space of a heartbeat.
Long enough to make the distraction a fatal one if I’d read her wrong. But hell, maybe I was bored and living on the edge could solve my first-world problems. If it were that simple.
“Have you done any training? Self-defense classes, or maybe you took tae kwon do lessons as a kid?” I circled around her.
Mari pivoted on her heel. “I did kickboxing for a few months while I studied. Never competed, but I had fun because I needed to burn off excess energy.” She shrugged.
I canted my head to one side. Interesting that she’d taken a harder form of classes rather than boxercise at the local gym. “What did you study?”
“Besides the occupants of the library while I avoided my work? Business, macroeconomics. PR and HR. MBA. All the funky business letters. Ended up a PA for a bossy-britches CEO in New York for all of it.” She wound her shoulders back while I stored the information she offered up.
“Not London?” I waited for her response, but my tame little Brit said nothing. “All right. Kickboxing, huh? Show me what you know.”
She smiled and rocked back on one leg, stretching. Her eyes never left me, though her degree of wariness reduced, the worry lines across her forehead smoothing with each moment she spent at my side.
Her lips quirked, and my heart tugged.
“I’m no match for you, Robe. And I don’t want to have to fight again so soon.” Her light humor dropped, replaced by shadows I recognized.
I hated myself for making her go back there but promised my heart this would be worth it in the end. “Give me a little demonstration,” I coaxed.
Let me see what you’re capable of, Mari Merripen. Show me how you break.
“A heads-up, it’s been an age. I’ll end up on my ass.” She popped a hip in apology.
“Or maybe you’ll knock me on mine,” I teased. “Bring it, Miss Kickboxer.”
She gave a halfhearted laugh and folded over her knees until her body bent in half. “I doubt it, Everest.” She spoke into her shins while I tried not to stare at her ass.
Massive fail.
Still, she rallied, sassing me with the nickname, and that had to be a good thing. I stepped around her in a semicircle, offering her space as she straightened.
Mari’s wariness returned, but this time, her expression cleared with focus. She edged a little closer, and just as I thought she might have given up, she tapped my knee with the toe of her oversized boot.
“You know, I’m terrified I’ll hurt you,” she quipped, stepping in close enough to nudge my thigh with her knee in a piss-poor attempt to get me to move or let her off the hook.
Neither of those things was happening, and for the record, I worried more about her hurting herself than doing damage to me.
I bared my teeth in response and grabbed wildly for her waist. Not a real grab; I wanted to see how she’d react to the change in aggression.
Mari skittered backward with a yelp that could have raised the dead.
I stuck my finger in my ear to pop it and winced. “Damn, girl. That wasn’t necessary.”
“You asked me to start.”
“I asked you to spar with me,” I corrected. Her breathing was way too fast for my liking. “Are you okay? I’m sorry I scared the shit out of you. I?—”
Her boot thunked against the top of my thigh and left me with an instant dead leg. I kept my expression blank despite wanting to drop to one knee and yowl like a wounded animal. My thigh muscles fucking stung at the contact, though the thought almost brought a smile to my lips. I hid that too.
Mari Merripen has bite when cornered. Noted.
Add that to the list of things I liked far too much about this girl.
“Ow,” I said in a sedate voice that betrayed none of the excruciating pain that speared my leg.
Mari grinned. “Sorry. I can go hard.”
“No need to apologize.” I held up a hand, and her grin grew wider. “Let’s try this for real now.”
“Is that what we’re calling it?” She let me circle around her at a short distance, pivoting on her heel to prevent me getting inside her blind spot.
Pine mulch crackled underfoot as she joined me in a dance of bobbing and jabbing, feints and quicksteps. It wasn’t strenuous work by any means, but her chest rose and fell, her cheeks flushing after a few minutes.
And those motherfucking shadows I hated seeing behind her eyes stayed away.
“Am I pushing you too hard?” I murmured, reaching out to brush the backs of my knuckles over her cheek.
I never got to make contact.
Mari batted my hand aside and used the opening to punch me in the stomach. I doubled over at the waist, wheezing, making out that the light jab did more damage than intended. She didn’t take the bait, laughing at my pantomime and dancing out of my reach when I lunged for her.
Her feet moved fast, but her darting steps faded as I gave chase around the clearing. She wove between trees, laughing… until her tone changed and became more ragged. Her step faltered, slowing her progress.
I wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her back into me in a grip that was firm but not unbreakable.
“Mari, sweetheart. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She gulped in harsh lungfuls of mountain air.
Her hands wound around my forearm, sharp nails digging crescent moon impressions into my skin where she clutched at me, but she didn’t fight to escape. She offered a small measure of trust—a grain, if that—but I felt like we’d jumped off a small ledge together and made it down a steep incline unscathed. Kind of.
“Liar,” I murmured against her hair, arcing over her to lean my cheek on the top of her head. Mountain air mingled with eau de Mari , filling my head with images that shouldn’t be there while I held her, protected her. Even from myself. “I shouldn’t have chased you.”
She shook her head, but the negative never fell from her lips.
“Yes, you should have. And you need to teach her more than to run like a fucking rabbit terrified of losing her hide. Because if that’s what she does with any damn predator, then the end result is a forgone conclusion.”
My shoulders tightened, though no enemy stood at my back.
“Thank you, Miller.” My words came out clipped at the end. “I’ve got this.”
“Bullshit. You know I’m right.”
Every instinct fought against what he said, but I knew he spoke the truth I didn’t want to face. Finding a way to teach Mari eluded me the moment I froze up.
“He’s right.” Mari tilted her head back, looking up into my eyes, close enough to kiss if I lifted her off her toes and pressed my mouth against hers.
What the fuck, Robe? Head. Out. Of. Her. Pussy.
She needed to be healed, not fucked by a rowdy group of men. I closed my eyes, my lips tight. Alan’s little playtime session had proved his point. I got it; Mari needed the contact, the security we could offer her—what I could offer her, but I wasn’t ready to go there just yet. I couldn’t trust myself, and I still wasn’t sure how long I’d hold on to the grudge my stripper didn’t know I carried that he took pleasure from her before I did.
Even more so that I didn’t listen to him in the first place.
Now is not the time. Asshole .
I added that last part for emphasis.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat of my raspy tone and could almost feel Miller’s eye roll from where he stood across the clearing. “You’re right. I’m not the best person to teach that. Too many memories,” I added to Mari, who still hung her head upside down like a small, dark-haired bat in front of me.
“No,” she protested, gripping my arm tighter. “I liked fighting with you.”
“And that’s the problem. Go with Miller. He’ll help you better than I can.”
“He scares me,” she whispered, her cheeks coloring. Tilting her head back down, she broke eye contact, her hair swishing over her face in a thick curtain.
“Good,” I whispered back. “Maybe you’ll listen to him. Go, then come back and kick my ass later.”
“Not going to happen,” she huffed, staring forward at some focal point beyond me.
“Not if you talk like that. You’ve got the goods, girl. Go use them.” I unhooked my arm from around her waist when she let me go and pressed my fingers between her shoulder blades. “Go. You’re safe with him, I promise.”
The shorter man had taken more than one bullet for me and saved my ass a half dozen times over the years. Maybe he had a guardian angel on his shoulder, but the kill shots never took him down. Luck, perhaps.
I headed off to a small clearing, not wanting to leave Mari wandering around the forest and getting more disoriented if she chose to seek me out after her session with Miller. If she could walk by then. Her hesitant step behind me, the subtle snap of fine twigs as she left a trail of twisted forest debris in her wake like so many breadcrumbs, told me everything I needed to know about her state of mind.
Maybe I could get Jon or Will to help her find her way around the forest, learn tracking and how to survive if she got trapped out on her own again. Not that I’d let that happen to her, but I also knew not to leave her exposed without a contingency plan.
I worked my way along a thin trail that led to the closer edges of my property nearest the house. A point well away from other seasonal residences and nowhere near my enemy. Having his perimeter bordering mine added enough stress to our lives; I didn’t need him in my backyard to boot.
At strategic points around the cabin in a quarter-mile radius, Miller and I stored an extra line of defenses. We placed some farther out as well, camouflaged at the boundary line and a select few choice spots on Gideon’s lands, but we didn’t check on those enough to make sure they hadn’t been found.
Pushing his boundaries had never been my plan until Mari dropped into my life.
Running my fingers around the harsh limbs of a dead tree, I sought the opening where the hollow exoskeleton folded back on itself. I peeled the trunk back, taking care not to crack the weathered bark, and removed a recurve bow and quiver full of hand-fletched arrows. A long bow I favored and maintained myself had been given a home on the other edge of the property.
Beyond the stump, a rocky outcrop with a perfect line of sight gave a direct shot into Gideon’s study from the cover of the tall pines that marked time as sentinels along the ridge.
I’d lined the shot up many times, and Gideon had no idea how lucky he was to still be breathing. Despite the rumors of why I left the military, murder came last on my to-do list, and the man remained attached to his heartbeat. After what we suspected he’d done to Mari, however, he might not stay in that state for much longer.
Gideon would come for me one day. That was the hard truth I lived. My boys were prepared for the day he did.
I curled my fingers around the curved bow, its familiar lines seated in my hand like an extension of myself. Slipping into the mentality of I need to shoot something , the rippling anger that seethed deep within me as a constant companion eased back within the edges of serenity.
Turning at the southernmost point of the base of the tree, I worked my way twenty-one long paces to my right. Jon and I had measured them together using his longer gait once Miller picked out the positioning.
I stopped and turned in the opposite direction from where Mari and Miller were practicing. A dual line of trees lay before me, the distance between them less than an extended handspan. At the far end of the narrow lane, a row of three small targets hung from a broken, burned tree.
I inhaled a long, slow breath and withdrew an arrow from the quiver over my shoulder in one movement, then notched the fletched end to the bowstring. My breath whispered from between open lips, releasing tension to the forest. Another breath in, and I raised my elbow, sighted the target through the space between the trees, and breathed out.
Airless. Quiet. Floating.
No roaring, no rage.
Nothing.
I loosed the arrow, string twanging a breath from my ear.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Collect, fire, repeat until I emptied the quiver a fourth time. My breath remained hollow as sounds of the forest returned. The spaces between the line of trees darkened, though my focus pinpointed. I hadn’t noticed time slipping away. I shook out warm arms and stiff legs as I worked my way back along the trail to the clearing. Soft voices and the occasional expelled breath or groan filtered through scant underbrush.
Stopping just inside the tree line, I propped my shoulders against a sturdy pine, a smile sliding into place. Mari battled with never-ending fervor, lashing out in controlled jabs and kicks. Her breath was labored, her face flushed the hue of a ripe tomato, but her gaze narrowed, focusing on Miller.
She spun, semi-off-balance, and caught herself as he swung at her in a wide haymaker that would have knocked her into next week if she hadn’t ducked. Mari dropped, flicking out a leg as she twisted. Miller’s ass hit the forest floor with a muted thump that startled the odd dozing bird from the trees surrounding the clearing.
Mari stood over him, a proud smile curving soft lips as her color returned to normal, and offered him a hand.
She didn’t need me to tell her what a bad impulse she’d acted on.
He hooked a boot behind her ankle and pushed instead of pulled as he rose until they reversed positions.
Mari winced from her place on the forest floor and rubbed her rump.
“Either punch the fucker in the face or run like hell, little girl. Don’t offer chivalry. Niceties don’t count when his aim is to destroy that pretty soul you keep locked away in here.” Miller jabbed her between the breasts, anger creasing the deep lines of his face.
“Noted.” Mari hissed as she rose to her feet a little slower than I would have liked to see her move.
Before I could catch myself, I shoved away from the tree and strode forward, already reaching for her. Growling, I pulled my hand back and folded my arms to prevent myself from doing anything stupider.
“Have you worked her that hard the entire time I’ve been gone?” I spoke to Miller but kept my focus on Mari, taking in the quick rise of her chest, the deep red stain that refused to leave her cheeks. She returned my gaze, just as assessing, though with more… something in her eyes. Awareness, perhaps. “She needs to heal.”
“ She is just fine, thank you.” Mari lifted her chin, and when I said nothing, she turned to Miller. “Thank you for the lesson. I appreciate the time you took.”
“You’re welcome,” he returned, his eyes hooded, his manic fury and coiled body quiet for once.
Something unspoken passed between them in that look that raised a green-eyed beast in my chest. I frowned. Respect between them had been my goal, but now that I’d achieved my aim, it tasted bittersweet.
I wanted Mari’s quiet looks, the unsated yearning in her eyes for me alone.
Swallowing back the urge to push away the man who’d had my back for so long, I clenched my jaw and promised myself I’d play nice. “Hungry? It’ll be dark soon.” The words came out harsher than I wanted, but Mari didn’t back away.
“Both of you get thanks. I don’t think I’ve spent that much time away from you since I first got here,” she murmured to the pine needles scattered around her oversized boots. Her cheeks flushed pinker, brightening the stain from her exertions.
“That keen to get rid of me?” I snarled back. Fuck, get your shit together . “I’m glad you learned something.”
“Want to take me on?” she blazed at me, all sass and filled with a desire for social proof.
Needy little thing, aren’t you?
The thought that she wanted— needed —my approval reduced my simmering rage, and the Kermit-colored beast retreated.
I shook my head. “No, Mari. You’ve worked hard enough. If Miller’s happy, then so am I.”
She tipped her head to one side. “You two have a lot of love for each other, don’t you?”
A challenge resided in her words, a sideward attack on our combined masculinity, but I shrugged it off.
“Yes, we do,” I said simply.
Mari blinked.
“Go get showered. Use the hot water before I do.” Miller gestured her forward.
“Thank you,” she whispered again as she passed by him, almost close enough to touch.
She hesitated, and his fingers flexed. The beast returned, roaring, almost obliterating Miller’s next words, low and softly spoken.
“Good girl.”
My words.
I focused on not ripping Miller’s head off while Mari walked away in a cloud of quiet confidence, a small, private smile curling her lips when she looked back, her step lightening.
Careful what you wish for, Robe.