Chapter 16
Chapter
Sixteen
It took a moment for the word to register.
“Wife?” She pushed against him, waking him up. “Don’t you dare go to sleep on me now. You had better explain yourself, Red Hawk.”
Lifting up slightly, he shifted his weight, though he kept a leg and an arm strategically placed over her. Bending at his elbow, he rested his head against his hand and raised sleepy eyes to meet hers.
Somewhat guiltily, she recalled that this man had obtained little sleep these past few days. Still, she needed answers. “What do you mean by calling me your wife?”
“Did we not just commit the act of marriage? You did consent, did you not?”
“Consent?”
“Do you recall that I said we would marry?”
It was true. He had. She said, “But I didn’t respond in the positive.”
“Ho! Did you not? We committed the act of marriage. Does this not speak for itself?”
She frowned. “No, it does not. We have taken no vows, made no pledges.”
“Is the act of love not a pledge?”
Her frown deepened. “Red Hawk, tell me, do men and women of your tribe marry by means of a wedding ceremony?”
“Of course,” he responded, “a ceremony of the heart.”
“No, I mean are your people married by a ceremony run by someone else…a holy man, like a black robe?”
“Ho! I think I understand what concerns you. Do not worry. Although there are sometimes ceremonies to marry a couple, know that in my country, after what has happened between us, a man and a woman are married. For if the man does not marry her, the woman is ruined. I do not wish to ruin you. I would marry you.”
“Thank you for your consideration, but it is not my understanding that the act of love makes us married. Where I come from, a couple are only united in marriage if they take vows to be faithful to each other, and if those vows are said in front of someone like a black robe or a holy man. It is an act made sacred because they pledge themselves to one another in the presence of God.”
“I have heard of your God. The black robe spoke of Him often. But do you think that your God was with us this night?”
“Of course I believe that He was.”
“Then you must realize that He knows of our love and our fidelity.”
“I suppose you’re right. But you miss the point I’m trying to make. In my society, even if a person makes love to another, this does not make them married. Only oaths of fidelity said in front of a holy man make a union that will be recognized by others.”
He looked somewhat taken aback. “Do you mean to tell me that you made love with me tonight, without the intention of marrying me?”
“Ah…” Had she? Dear Lord, seen from his viewpoint, it might appear as though she had.
“In truth, I would admit to some confusion about this. When you said that we would marry, I didn’t realize you spoke of the act of love as being a deciding factor.
I thought I would have more time in which to consider the suggestion. ”
He nodded. “Aa. Ikksisitsi’tsi, I understand. But what of your reputation? The others will know that you have been with me. What will they think, if they discover we are not married?”
“They would be more shocked to learn we are married.”
“They will not think bad things of you?”
“Yes, they might think bad of me…either way. Not that I care what other people think.”
But was that really true? Though she might not be the best of friends with any of her colleagues, was she really careless enough to ignore their opinions? And what about her family? Certainly she did care what her mother and father might have to say.
Still, were she and Red Hawk the only two people in the world, no artifacts to worry about, no project to finish, no one back East expecting her reports, she wouldn’t hesitate to accept his proposal, and to heck with any critics.
But she was no longer a child of eight, weaving fantasies around a man from a completely different culture.
She was a responsible adult, and out of that accountability came the knowledge that being in love wasn’t enough.
Regardless of the prejudices of others, she, and he too, could not live in a world devoid of other human beings.
Sooner or later, one or the other of their societies would see that they paid the price for their passion.
But Red Hawk was continuing to talk to her, interrupting her thoughts. “I think I understand. You wanted a moment of passion with me, and then you wished to walk away with little consequence.”
“Perhaps. But in reality, in the moment about which you speak, I was not thinking at all, much less considering walking away. Besides, when you proposed to me originally, didn’t you suggest this very thing? To marry, and if it didn’t work out, to be free to walk away?”
“Aa, I did. However, when I suggested it, I had hoped to have more married life than one night.”
“Yes, well…”
“If this is truly your desire, and you wish to put the marriage behind you, it is your right to do so. Unless you are with child, then you will remain married to me. Also, if this were to happen, we would seek out a black robe, so you would be satisfied in your own mind how truly married we are. Otherwise…if you wish it, then I am willing to agree that we did not make a marriage this night, even though I think doing so is a mistake.”
Why did he have to make her feel as though her actions were so…cheap? “Perhaps we could reach a compromise.”
“A compromise?”
“Yes, a compromise means that—”
“I know what it means.”
She drew a deep breath. “There is one other possibility. In my society, two people who are deeply in love, yet are not ready to marry, become engaged.”
“Engaged? This word I do not know.”
“To be engaged means that when two people wish to marry, they announce their intention to do so and make it known to their family and friends, telling the world at large how they expect to marry soon, it being assumed they will remain faithful to one another until such a time as they are ready to take their vows.”
“How long do these engagements last?”
“Sometimes many years. Often several months.”
“And do these two people make love to one another during this time?”
“It has been known to happen.” She smiled.
“And have these engagements ever been known to fall apart?”
“Upon occasion.”
Red Hawk shook his head. “The white man is truly cunning.”
“Cunning?”
“Only a white man could think up a way to have a woman, without the responsibility of having that woman and caring for her.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“An engagement is irresponsible. Saa, in my mind, because of what we have done this night, we are married, nothing less. I have taken what you offered in the heat of passion. It is not an action I took lightly, to have it, and then to discard you so easily, by as simple a method as a change of heart. Saa, for what you have given me, I will give you back my loyalty and my heart. It will not change.”
She was silent. Truly, what could a woman say? Were these not the very words every feminine heart longed to hear?
“Red Hawk,” she said at last, placing her hand on his.
“Think for a moment, in what society would we live? Yours? Your people are entrapped in a mist. I don’t think I could go there.
Mine? There is prejudice in mine. Living in my society could be hard for you.
In either of our cultures, one or the other would be required to give up something. ”
“It is true that you cannot come with me into the mist. But I cannot go back there, either,” he argued.
“Whether I break the curse or not, I am here, in this time and in this place, until I die. Besides, is this not the way of all marriage? By the act of marrying, hasn’t one already decided to give up what has gone on before? ”
She paused and turned her head away from him.
“It might be said that old prejudices tear at me, or maybe I am frightened by the unknown. Whether it is right or wrong, I only know this: I must complete the project. I cannot allow myself to be distracted…by anything. After this dig is done, we could conceivably evaluate this again, if you wish to wait.”
He nodded, then shrugged. “Perhaps I will. Maybe.”
“Then you agree we are not yet husband and wife?”
“I agree you have the right to say no, and you have done so. I also agree that if I ever wish to have you acknowledge me as your husband, I have much work to do.” He smiled at her.
She grinned back.
“Know, however, in my mind, you are my wife. Although I understand our cultures are different, I do not believe we could not overcome the prejudices of our separate traditions. Yet, regardless of what I think, unless you wish it, I understand that there is no marriage, except in the depths of this heart.” He pointed to his chest. “And so it is done. You are free.”
He pressed a kiss to her lips, following it with the words, “Kitsikakomimmo. For the moment, nothing changes that.”
Effie didn’t know what to say. On one hand, she was glad. On the other, she was…confused.
He sat up, then looked down on her. “Poohsapoot, let us leave this bad talk behind us and take another swim, this time to awaken us, that we might finish our scouting this night. We still have much to do.”
“All right. You are not angry at me?”
“Saa, disappointed, perhaps, but not angry. You have the right to say yes or no. ’Tis my mistake. You see, I thought you had said yes.”
He held out a hand to help her up, then scooting his arm around her waist, he brought her right up against him. He sighed deeply. “Let us spend the remainder of this night as a married couple. If this is all we are to have, then let us indulge ourselves. Do you agree?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I don’t see any harm in doing this.”
“And much pleasure.”
She smiled. “All right, then.”
“Soka’pii. I am glad that in this, it is settled…for the moment.”
The scent of fired guns lingered in the air, there in the meadow where they had left Effie’s wagons. Worse, though dawn fast approached, no birds sang here.
Something was wrong.