Chapter 15 #3
Really? There’s nothing in this town for you?
Not one thing that’s walking and talking, that you birthed yourself?
But he’d had an hour for the real reason to dawn on him.
Mom’s new man had heard stories of profitable land with a house.
He wanted to see for himself and scam his way into it.
If the guy was anything like Mom, free money and a rent-free place to live were as intoxicating as the alcohol and cigarettes she loved so much.
But no house and an adult son proved too many complications.
Wasn’t that why Russ had stuck around before he’d gotten sucked into Mom’s vortex so far he couldn’t get out until she’d done the unthinkable to him two or three times?
What would Grandma say? Her actions are for her alone. Don’t take no responsibility for them . Followed by the unspoken thought he heard from her loud and clear: Because she ain’t taking responsibility for you.
But damn, it stung. The woman who was always supposed to have his back had let him down over and over again. She always chose him last, if she chose him at all.
Made a guy feel wanted.
But tomorrow, Brigit was coming home. And he wouldn’t leave her waiting at an airport for an hour before he left her high and dry.
Mom was muttering something about good-for-nothing Moore when Caleb snapped back into the conversation.
“Nothing in Moore, Mom? I haven’t seen you for years, but you come to town and go to the bar.”
She was instantly defensive. “I never know your work schedule.”
“You can ask. Sorry there’s no house for you and what’s-his-name to crash in, but even when I get a house built, you won’t be welcome.
Because here’s my warning, Mom. Any of your guys step foot on my property, I’ll call the police.
And we both know they’re right next door.
” And the other half of the reason Mom hadn’t hung around when he was growing up.
“Well, listen to you,” she sneered. “Just like your grandparents. You picked them over me, so don’t expect me to come crying to you about nothing .”
“I was a kid. I needed more than getting forgotten in a burning house while you and some random guy made it outside in your drunken stupor.”
Swear words ripped over the line, but he disconnected. His heart hammered. He draped his arms over the steering wheel and laid his head in the middle. What a mess.
Had he just cut his mom out of his life? Would this be permanent?
Would he know the difference? Aside from the occasional birthday text and one Christmas card he could remember, Mom was a blank spot in his life.
But he’d lied to himself about it. He’d lived with the hope that one day he’d wake up and have a mom like his friends and coworkers talked about.
A pushy mom who got too far into his business because she cared so much about him.
A mom he could confide in. A mom who came to town to see her son.
Somewhere along the line, he’d given up on the dad side. He mostly used the moniker to blend in, not because it gave him any real hope that Russ would suddenly act like one.
Maybe he should’ve done this before he lost his grandparents. Then he wouldn’t feel so alone.
He had Brigit. And Justin. But their parents wouldn’t welcome him into the fold. More likely, they’d blame him for fucking up Brigit’s well-laid plans.
How would her talk go with them?
He kicked the pickup into gear and drove back to Justin’s. As he was pulling in, his phone rang.
He dreaded seeing who the caller was. Mom wouldn’t be calling to apologize. If it was her, it was to rip into him again.
Nope. It was work.
“Cruise,” he answered.
“It’s LT. I’m calling to tell you that you got the position.”
Caleb parked in his spot and relaxed in his seat. “Thank you, sir.” He’d needed this boost.
“You earned it. We’ll talk specifics when you work next. Congratulations, Cruise. You impressed even me, and I’ve worked with you since the day you started. You’re good at your job, but you can go as far as you want in this field. Remember that.”
“Yes, sir.” His work family had picked up the slack for his personal one. Between them and the Jameses, he’d be fine.
He went inside. Justin wasn’t around, but the fridge actually had food in it. Caleb prepped supper, tossed it in the oven, and did some quick cleaning while it was cooking.
Justin came in like he had a sixth sense about when food was ready. The latter half of today had reminded Caleb of the days before Brigit moved back. Mellow. Congenial. Kind of boring.
Justin grabbed the plates when they were done. “I got the dishes. Did you vacuum?”
“And dusted.”
“Damn, dude. I might have to marry you.”
Caleb chuckled and went up to his room. He couldn’t stand the wait. He sent Brigit a message. Have you talked to them yet?
An hour went by before his phone rang.
He answered, craving the sound of her voice. As long as he had her in his life, he could take whatever life threw his way. “Hey, Bridge.”
“I talked to them.” Her voice was heavy. Like she was fighting tears or had been crying.
He sat up. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m, uh, not coming home tomorrow. I have another interview on Monday.”
“But I thought—”
“They spent all their retirement putting me through school.” Soft sobs carried over the line. “All of it. They’re broke.”
He tried to process what she was saying. “Your parents?”
“Yes. They had money saved for Travis. Justin’s school didn’t cost as much because he didn’t sneak in all the extra classes. Then I went to graduate school. And added in more classes, more expenses. God, Caleb, I was so selfish.”
“You weren’t selfish. They’re your parents.”
“They can’t retire. They wouldn’t have enough to last more than five years.”
The magnitude of what she said sank in. Joan and Rick had never let on that they were having financial trouble.
Each time Justin asked, they claimed to love Arizona and their new jobs.
They’d joke about working until they were seventy.
But it wasn’t a joke. They couldn’t afford to quit.
They’d worked their entire lives and raised three kids and sunk all their money into them.
Caleb had mad respect for parents willing to do that for their kids. But… Brigit wasn’t coming back tomorrow? Another interview?
“Didn’t you talk to them about what you really want to do with your life?” Seriously. Another interview? For a soul-crushing job that she had zero interest in?
She dropped to a ragged whisper. “How can I? I can’t tell them they spent every last cent on my education and I’m not going to use it.”
“What, like any old dumbass can ranch?”
“You know I don’t mean that. But it won’t pay them back like an office job here. I could live with them and—and work for a few years and help them out.”
“Brigit, you’re one of three kids who they helped through college. All this responsibility is not on your shoulders.”
“Travis has a family. Justin…well, he has his situation. And they’d die before they let the guys know how much they were hurting financially. I barely got it out of them and if I hadn’t found the papers on their desk, they wouldn’t have told me.”
“Because they want you to go and live the life you want for yourself.”
“How can I do that, Caleb?”
He paused for a moment and squeezed his eyes shut. “So you’re not coming home?”
“Not until next week.”
“And then what?”
“I don’t know. Move back when I get a job?”
“And us?” His anger was rising. Cold descended over him and he was transported back to that frigid wait for a mom who never came.
“I mean… I thought you’d understand.”
“I think I understand all too well.”
Just a few hours ago, he wouldn’t have believed it either. But he was done waiting on people who only took from him.
“It wouldn’t be for forever. I figured it out. I could pay them back, and in a few years, I could move back.” She rushed on as if she sensed his walls going up. “We can do long-distance. Won’t you wait for me?”
The word wait triggered his temper. “I waited for you for ten years, Brigit. I waited while you were in serious relationships with other men, and I waited while you lived the city life you thought you should have. I’ve done nothing but wait. I’m done waiting.”
“Caleb, I don’t understand—”
“I’m done waiting on people who can’t be bothered with me. You didn’t even ask if I could come with. My job is versatile. But just like in the Cities, you couldn’t stand to be seen with me.” The burn of shame didn’t temper his ire.
“What are you talking about? I wanted to enjoy my time with you and not shout over the crowd. I wanted to go home with you.”
“And you made sure that happened the second your interview was done.”
Her silence on the other end was excruciating. “You know that’s not how I think of you. You’re important to me.”
“Right. Just not enough.”
She dragged in a breath he felt down to his toes.
“I would think that a man who claims to love me would understand this situation. Or is it something else? Is the reality of me different than the fantasy and now you’re pissed?
We’re not kids anymore with the luxury to dream about what we want to be when we grow up.
I’m sorry I hurt you before, but this is totally different. ”
“No, it’s not. It’s just another tether your mom is using to get you to do her bidding.”
“For fuck’s sake, Caleb. She’s not the wicked witch of the west. She’s working. Everyday. And sometimes weekends. She’s not sitting out here plotting how to break us up.”
“Turns out she didn’t have to,” he snapped. This wasn’t the conversation he’d thought he’d have tonight. This wasn’t how he’d thought things would end between them. And for so long, he’d been sure they’d end. Their fling was temporary, and he’d gone in with eyes wide open. And hope. Always hope.
But then so much of his life had turned out better than he could’ve ever expected. He couldn’t have it all, and he should’ve known that he and Brigit were never meant to be.
No matter how right it felt when he was with her.