Chapter 2
Chapter Two
MIA
But certain things stayed with you. Like being the last person the caller would talk to before they took their last breath. Hearing them beg me to save them, and despite my best effort, I couldn’t. I tried. Every time. I did my job, and it wasn’t enough.
We were the unseen first responders. Paramedics, fire, and police were the public-facing entities showing up on scenes. People knew who they were and what they did. Those of us on the other end of the phone line or radio? We were just faceless voices that only had the power to communicate.
I rolled my shoulders and removed my shirt, pulling the T-shirt Zack had given me over my head.
I still couldn’t figure out his issue. He almost seemed annoyed about me playing on the team.
He was usually all goofy smiles and teasing.
It was annoying. But consistent. His brief look of irritation earlier—when I offered to play and Adam cemented it—threw me off.
But whatever. His problem wasn’t mine.
My phone rang from my purse, and I pulled it out, swiping the answer button and bringing it to my ear. “Hey.” I just saw my co-worker Charlie before I left work. If he was calling it was likely to check on me.
“How are you holding up?”
I cradled the phone between my ear and shoulder while I shoved my sweater into my bag. “Fine.”
“Bullshit.” He blew out a breath. “You can’t brush these things off. Talking about it will help.”
I huffed. “I get that’s how you feel, and I know it works for you, but I can’t constantly rehash the worst moments of my job.” I hitched the strap of my purse over my shoulder. “I just need to figure out my own way to deal with it.”
I pushed away the memory of the call I took toward the end of my shift. The fear in the wife’s voice as she begged me to help her. To save her from her abusive husband.
But I couldn’t. Or at least, not completely. Last I heard she was in critical condition in the hospital. Hopefully her husband would go away for a long time. That was the silver lining I was clinging to.
“I know.” Charlie sighed. “But if you don’t figure it out soon, you’re going to drown in it.”
He had become one of my closest friends since starting at the center last summer. I knew he meant well, and I agreed I needed to figure it out.
I had nothing against therapy. If I felt like I needed it, I would have no issue taking that step.
But that wasn’t this. Not yet. For now, I just needed a healthy, consistent way of sorting and processing the tough days.
Getting shitfaced just to forget wasn’t the healthiest option, and burying it deep within my psyche wasn’t the answer either.
Lyla had done that after the traumatic accident she’d been in, and it had blown up in her face. But I couldn’t bring myself to talk about the hard calls like it was just another task at a normal job. And going to the gym, like one of my other coworkers suggested, was not my thing.
“I promise I’m working on it,” I reassured Charlie as I left the locker room and headed back into the gym. “You’ll be happy to know I volunteered to play in the PD vs FD volleyball game tonight.”
“You volunteered?” He chuckled. “Who are you and what have you done with Mia?”
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. “Why is that so surprising?”
“Well, for one, you don’t like people. At least not in large quantities. Not to mention you were grumbling earlier today about the fact that you let Lyla talk you into even going to watch it.”
I scanned the bleachers looking for the girls and made my way to them once I spotted them. “What can I say? I’m complex.”
He laughed. “That you are.”
“Gotta go. Game’s about to start. I’ll call you later.”
“Ok, chica. Have fun. Don’t hit anyone with the ball.”
I smiled, looking for Zack. “No promises.” The thought of bouncing the ball off his head sounded quite satisfying.
“I can’t believe Zack organized all this,” Nicole said to Izzy as I came to a stop in front of them.
I held back my eyeroll. It wasn’t like organizing an event was that hard. But it was obvious Nicole had a serious crush on Zack. Frankly, I was getting kind of sick hearing her rave about him. But I would definitely come off like a shitty friend if I said that out loud, so I kept my mouth shut.
“It was his idea to honor Daniel and collect money for his family too,” Izzy added.
Glancing around, I tracked Zack as he walked across the floor and knelt in front of a crying woman.
He consoled her with a gentle smile, but a more somber expression than his smiles usually held.
She nodded as he talked, like he was saying all the right things in the moment, and then he leaned forward, wrapping her in a hug.
I didn’t know how to reconcile my feelings about him. Most of the time the relentless teasing and class clown act lodged deeply under my skin, but over the last seven months I’d seen glimpses of a softer side that intrigued me. It was a shame that as soon as he opened his mouth he ruined it.
I turned back to the girls. “Do one of you have a hair tie?”
“Of course.” Lyla dug around in her bag, producing an elastic. “Here you go.”
I took it from her and pulled my hair up into a ponytail, smoothing it back before wrapping the tie around it. Thankfully I had flat ironed it this morning so it wasn’t a frizzy mess. My hair was naturally straight, but I loved the feel of it when I took the time to make it sleek.
“Raven,” Zack hollered.
I glanced over my shoulder to see who he was talking to. I wasn’t familiar with anyone with that name. But he was looking at me, arms crossed, and that teasing smile plastered on his stupidly handsome face.
Oh hell no. He was not giving me some stupid nickname.
I stomped his way and narrowed my eyes. “Don’t call me that.”
“Would you rather Storm? Or Onyx?” His look took on something more sinister. “Or maybe Ursula?”
I gritted my teeth and blew out a harsh breath. “You should be singing my praises right now for saving your ass. I don’t have to play.”
“You don’t, but you will. Regardless of how much I piss you off. And I’m interested to figure out why.” He chuckled. “Because I don’t think you secretly love playing volleyball, and you definitely wouldn’t do me any favors.”
He had that right. But I wasn’t going to bring up my tough day and the need to do something to take my mind off of it. He would use it to rile me up, I was sure of it.
He studied me like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. Fortunately, Savannah called his name, pulling his attention over to her, and squashing my need to punch him in the face.
“Five-minute warning, hot stuff,” Savannah said with a wink.
He nodded, telling her, “I’ll be right there.”
Turning back to me, he tipped his chin over to the sidelines. “Head over and see Adam. He’ll let you know what position he wants you in.” He smirked as he added, “He has a very detailed strategy.”
I rolled my eyes. Lyla wasn’t kidding when she said Adam was competitive.
After checking in with Adam, I stood next to him as Savannah and Zack took the stage.
I found myself studying the dynamic between them.
They had a comfortable intimacy, almost like they had known each other a long time.
Or maybe they were in a relationship. I wondered what the story was there.
Nicole hadn’t mentioned he was dating anyone.
But for all I knew, he was the type of guy who dated women casually and didn’t stick around for long.
Given his carefree, laid back, not a serious bone in his body vibe, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Zack introduced Owen, who gave a brief speech honoring our fallen volunteer who’d perished in a fire last month.
I didn’t know the young guy, but I was working the night the call came in and I was the one who sent out the call for extra responders.
Rationally I knew I did my job well, and I couldn't have changed the outcome, but it didn't stop the what ifs.
Was there any more I could have done? Was there anything I should have done differently?
Once Owen was done, I shook my head to clear it and focus on the game, reminding myself why I volunteered to play.
I was a substitution to start with, switching out with a female volunteer after the first set.
Playing as a middle blocker, I was directly in front of Zack.
The set started and the pass came my way.
I jumped and spiked it hard over the net, winning us a point.
“Damn,” Adam said as he high-fived me. “You’re good! You could have led with that small detail, you know.”
I shrugged. “I went to college in a beach town, I spent a lot of time playing beach volleyball.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Zack’s smile, and turned as he raised a hand for a high five. Since I wasn’t rude, I gave him one and then quickly turned back to the game.
At the beginning of the third set, Zack and I each called out for the ball, simultaneously lunging for it. He got to it a second before I collided into his torso.
He chuckled above me. “If you wanted a hug, all you had to do was ask.”
I whipped my head up, sending him a glare I hoped said the thought repulsed me. As usual, he just smirked, not at all phased by my death glare.
Huh. That particular look usually sent people scurrying in the opposite direction.
I spent the fourth set on the bench allowing another volunteer to play. I cringed as he missed multiple plays, allowing PD to win that set. Amateur. But I was a team player, so I’d keep that to myself.
For the last one, Adam pulled who he thought were our best six players—himself, Zack, Seth, Owen, a female volunteer, and me.
We were all tied up, with PD with two set wins and FD with two as well.
Whoever won this last set would win the game.
After fifteen minutes, the score was close, we were leading by one point and just needed one more to win the game.
I reached up and adjusted my pony tail, pulling back the stray strands that had come loose.
From behind me, Zack started chanting the tune to “Eye of the Tiger” and I glanced back at him.
Or more like glared. Because why was he always singing or humming?
He lifted his shirt, wiping some sweat from his face.
My eyes locked on his insanely sculpted abs, and the minute he dropped his shirt, the spell broken, my focus snapped back up at his face.
The wink he sent me dripped of arrogance and I huffed, turning back to focus on the game and chiding myself for giving him the satisfaction.
PD served the ball, and after a quick pass I hit it hard over the net, gaining the final point needed to win the game.
Adam took me by surprise as he lunged for me, lifting and spinning me excitedly. For a second, I could have sworn Zack looked pissed off. But by the time I was placed back on my feet and spun to face him, he was all smiles and double high fives.
“Glad you were on our team, that’s for sure,” he said with a shake of his head.
The team crowded me, giving me good jobs and way-to-gos until I was thoroughly overstimulated by it all. But it also felt good. Burned off the negative energy I had been carrying, and not just from today’s calls, but from the last few weeks.
“You coming out to celebrate after the game?” Sydney, one of the female volunteers, asked.
I shook my head. “I can’t. I have an early shift tomorrow.” I had learned by now that I needed at least seven hours of sleep to keep my patience and focus together during my shifts.
After Zack and Savannah gave a closing speech for the event and thanked everyone for coming, I gathered my stuff and said goodbye to the team and the girls before heading out to my car.
I startled and stumbled back right outside the gymnasium doors as two young guys got into a shoving match.
Their loud angry voices penetrated my subconscious, taking me back to my tough call from earlier.
Thankfully, their friends intervened and broke it up before it turned into more.
But it didn’t change the fact that I was frozen in place.
A hand landed on my shoulder, and I jumped, spinning to face a surprised-looking Zack.
“Hey, sorry didn’t mean to scare you.”
My spine went straight, and I narrowed my eyes. “You don’t scare me, Zack. More like annoy me.”
He smirked. “Right, Raven. No way could I ever penetrate that tough girl persona you got going on.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you want?”
The smirk he wore morphed into a boyish grin. “I just wanted to say thank you.”
“Oh.” I tried to mask my surprise. “Sure. Glad I could help.”
“I owe you.”
Even though I itched to admit I was pretty sure I had benefited more from the opportunity than he did, I kept my mouth shut. No way was I giving him the satisfaction. Besides, I liked the idea of him having to owe me instead of the other way around.
“Sure. Maybe next time we’re around each other you could not talk.”
He gasped and grabbed dramatically at his chest. “And here I thought you enjoyed our time together tonight.”
I rolled my eyes. He was ridiculous.
“Goodnight, Zack,” I said as I turned, and walked quickly to my car.