Chapter 35 #2
There was another reason Colby wanted to see Matt alone. This felt like the biggest thing he’d done since he’d enlisted, and it was somehow important that he did it on his own.
And if Matt said no—if he looked at Colby in incredulity that he could even think he might belong here—then at least Tristan wouldn’t have to witness that.
In his nerves, Colby’s knock on Matt’s door was a little more forceful than he’d intended.
When Matt’s deep voice commanded him to enter, he pushed the door open and hesitated in the doorway.
Matt was sitting at the desk and studying a laptop, the reflection of light from the screen painting his face a ghostly blue shade as he looked up.
“Colby.” His voice was free from inflection, giving Colby no clue as to his reception.
“Alpha Ur—Matt,” he said, ducking his head respectfully. “Sorry to interrupt, but I hoped I could talk to you.”
“Come in,” Matt said neutrally. “Close the door behind you.”
Colby did so, and as he turned back toward Matt, he found that all his half-prepared sentences were gone. He liked Matt, he respected him, but this was a huge thing to ask, and he didn’t know what he’d do if Matt said no.
The longer he stood there, anxiety pooling in his gut, the less reason he could think of why Matt would possibly let him join his pack.
Then, there was the lesson he’d learned early from Nico—asking for something made him vulnerable.
It let people know what he wanted, what he valued.
What they could take away from him to hurt him most.
“You wanted to see me?” Matt prompted at last.
Colby’s mouth was dry. But he had to do this. He breathed in deeply, steadying himself. “I wanted to know if there’s a way I could join your pack.” The words came out quiet, but clear. “I know I’ve got no right to ask, but I want to stay. I want to belong.”
Matt studied him for a long moment, and Colby fought not to fidget under the weight of that assessment.
“Why?” Matt asked at last.
It was a simple question, one he should have expected. But somehow, it was the hardest one Colby had ever had to answer.
“I want—” He stopped, searching for the right words. “I want to be someone again. Someone who contributes, who’s part of something.”
He looked away, jaw tightening. “You all stood up to Cale, even though you were outnumbered. That—that sort of… I don’t know what to call it, but I admire the hell out of it.
And I know I’m not like the rest of you, not yet, maybe not ever, but I’ll work at it, I swear.
” He paused, shaking inside because he’d made such a mess of this and he wanted it so badly.
“I want to be part of what you have here. What you are.”
Matt leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable. “What do you bring to the table?”
Colby flinched. That was the question, wasn’t it? What did he have to offer? Nico’s voice slithered into his mind, smooth and poisonous. Pretty, but dumb as shit. Good for one thing only.
His jaw clenched. No. Not here. Not anymore.
“I’m not afraid of hard work,” he said, voice hoarse. “And I can hold my own in a fight. I’d never let anything happen to Tristan. Or anyone else here, if I could stop it.”
Matt gave a faint nod. “That’s not nothing.”
Colby swallowed. “But I’m not much good for anything else.”
A short silence followed, before Matt stood and moved around the desk. Colby stiffened instinctively, but all Matt did was stop in front of him.
“I think you left a couple of things out,” Matt said. His voice was still low, but something warm flickered in his eyes. “Honesty and heart. We don’t take those for granted here.”
Colby stared at him, his throat working.
“You can stay,” Matt said. “You can be one of us, so long as neither of those things changes.”
Then he offered his hand.
Colby looked at it for a second that felt too long, before he reached out and gripped it. Matt’s hold was steady and sure. Alpha strong, but not domineering. He nodded, unable to trust his voice, but he was certain Matt saw the depth of his gratitude.
Matt held his gaze for a moment longer, then gave a short nod. He turned back and sat down once more, signaling the conversation was done. “You’ll need to talk to Jason to get on the kitchen chore rotation. The rest, we’ll sort out later.”
Colby blinked. “Right. Of course. I—thank you. Really.”
“Just keep bringing what you’ve brought this week,” Matt said, without looking up. “That’s all I need.”
Colby backed out of the room carefully, not sure whether he was walking or floating. He’d barely made it two steps down the hallway when a Tristan-shaped blur launched at him.
“You asked, didn’t you?” he demanded, arms locked tight around Colby’s ribs and nearly knocking him off his feet.
Colby couldn’t stop the laugh that burst out of him. “Yeah. I did.”
Tristan leaned back enough to look at him properly, eyes shining. “And?”
“He said yes,” Colby said, dazed.
“Fuck, Colby.” Tristan kissed him right there in the hallway, quick and hot and smiling into it.
Colby had never been anyone’s good news before. It knocked him sideways, how much it meant to be met with joy.
“I knew he would! You’re pack now.”
Colby’s throat tightened again. “Yeah,” he said, and it didn’t even sound real. “I guess I am.”