CHAPTER 20 - RED
CHAPTER
Red
EVEN WITH MUSSED HAIR and wearing one of my old T-shirts, Arianna commands an innate beauty that compares to none. Her anger only makes her more stunning. It always has.
But it’s not helping this situation. She’s not listening to a thing I say. Not that I’ve said much.
Throwing in that dig about Lorna cut deep, but Arianna doesn’t know the truth.
If I told her, she wouldn’t believe me. Explaining anything falls on deaf ears.
Despite my yearning to put things right and make her understand I’d have done anything to get her away from her bastard of a brother and Luca Bristoni quicker if I could, she won’t accept it.
But there must have been something I missed and a way I could have done better. It haunts me, along with that there shouldn’t have been an option for her to be taken in the first place.
I should have double-checked the car she got into that night.
But I didn’t.
I trusted someone I shouldn’t have, and I won’t forgive myself for that.
Neither will Arianna...
Over at the window, petulance creeps over her angry scowl. I don’t say a word. I want to kiss the petulance off her mouth and fuck away her anger. I want to put her back together again and mend her broken soul, as well as my own.
“Are you hanging around to make sure I’m ready for round two? Waiting for them to return for me so you can control the handover? You don’t fool me, Red!”
“They won’t come back,” I snarl. “I’ll make sure of that.”
“What’s stopping them? You?”
Arianna’s voice becomes higher-pitched and even more agitated. “After all, it’s not like they’re dead, otherwise you wouldn’t be having cozy chats with my father – you know, your ‘alleged’ enemy... Killing them would cut into your profits!”
“Cozy chats!” I rake my fingers through my hair, which not long ago, Arianna did herself. I push away the taunting memory of the night I took her to my bed, deleting the yearning to recreate the deep connection I found with her that I’ve experienced with no other.
Thinking of that only makes this situation more torturous.
“Yeah, that’ll be it!” I snap, getting irritated, more irritated with myself that I didn’t kill them.
“Your latest plan has misfired because I’m not falling for your heroic ‘act’.
” Her lip quivers, a flash of hurt deep in her eyes, but she removes it and instead displays the hate towards me that is now the norm.
“Tell me why you were in my room last night. Did you come to spy on me, or were you planning to have a go yourself? Something I was braindead enough to allow you to do once already, stupid bitch that I was.”
“Don’t be disgusting!” I roar, infuriated. Her accusation stabs me clean through the heart. “You think I’d expect to...”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m disgusting!” Arianna paces back and forth, her rage overriding the pain her ankles must be in. “It’s obvious that no self-respecting man would go near me now.” Stopping, she shakes her head. “But then, you have no self-respect, so nothing matters to you!”
“That’s not true!” I rein in my rage. The urge to shake sense into her melts away. That she believes herself disgusting floors me. She’s the very opposite of that - inside and out. Jesus Christ!
I wait a moment before speaking again, pushing my voice back to a quiet calm. “I was in your room last night because you were screaming. By the sound of it, you were having a nightmare.”
I won’t mention I was there because I’ve stood guard over her since I got her back.
I watch her as she sleeps. When she’s awake, I stand outside the door.
The rest of the time, much to the frustration of my brothers, I remain in the house, waiting and alert; ready for anyone attempting to claim her back.
While Matteo and Luca still breathe, Arianna will not be out of my sight. Ever. It’s something I should have done better in the first place, but that’s why I was in her room and the reason I’ll be there tonight, as well as the night after that and for however long it takes, nightmares or not.
Arianna studies me silently; the drop in color of her cheeks showing my mentioning her nightmare throws her off kilter.
“Were you not aware you had a nightmare?” I ask gently.
She flushes and looks away. From the half I now see of her face, her jaw works like she’s battling against admitting something that could help in the trauma she’s dealing with. “Arianna?”
“I...”
Whatever she is about to say, she stops. Refusing to be defeated by failing to break through the first chink in her armor I’ve seen, I push forward. “Tell me what happened in the dream. If you talk to me, it...”
“There’s nothing to say!” Arianna swings back around, eyeing me with her previous closed coldness; the shutters firmly back in place. “I don’t remember.”
“Yes, you do. You were screaming your sister’s name and you...” I stop talking when terror bolts from behind Arianna’s eyes and realize there’s something important I must say. “Your sister... she wasn’t at that house. I assure you she wasn’t and...”
“I know!” she snaps. “I was there, remember?”
I nod but know that she’s bluffing. Arianna didn’t know if Maria was there or not. But now she does. That’s clear from the relief pooling through her skin. But she can pretend whatever she likes if it makes her feel better. That I’ve removed one of her worries is a start.
I lightly place my hand on her shoulder. “Maria is perfectly safe, so you don’t ne...”
“Don’t!” Arianna jerks away from my touch. “Is this one of your new rules? My thoughts and subconscious mind belong to you now? Don’t tell me what I think!”
My arm drops back to my side. I misjudged that. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard. Damn my impatience. Annoyance with myself more than Arianna’s spiky attitude shows in my terse response. “Fine. Suffer your nightmares alone!”
We face each other off, the silence between us heavy. Her lips part slightly, like she’s about to hit back with a further retort. Unable to bear the sight of her beautiful face, knowing she’s more out-of-bounds now than ever, I look away.
Deflecting my surrender, I walk over to the sideboard and pick up a bottle of Scotch. I stare at it, half-tempted to start early again today, but place it back down, what I want to say next swapping and changing in my mind with every heartbeat.
“Why did you come and get me?”
Surprised, I turn to find Arianna facing me, her arms folded, her face unreadable. “Why do you think? What else would I do?”
Her laugh shocks me further. “You talk as if I should be grateful that you saved me from my fate. That’s if you classify it as ‘saving’?”
“Fuck me!” I mutter in despair. “I don’t expect you to be grateful. When did I say that? Call it what you wish: saving, rescuing, collecting my fucking wife from a pair of savage wankers, but you knew I’d come for you.”
Arianna’s mouth twitches. Is she thinking if she knew that I would, then why did it take me four fucking days? I know because I’ve asked myself that question far too many times.
“The truth is,” she continues, her eyes hard. “You came for me not out of love, but out of revenge, so never pretend otherwise.”
I don’t deny anything. Neither do I look away.
I hold her accusing stare and stay silent.
There’s no point in saying I’d have burned the world down to reach her sooner.
Instead, I do the only thing to do while under attack from someone I can’t bear the thought of being apart from and say the exact opposite of what I mean.
It might protect my heart that’s already bleeding from rejection.
“You’re free to leave anytime you wish, Arianna. ”
I busy myself with opening that bottle of Scotch. I’ve changed my mind. It’s not too early for a drink after all.