CHAPTER 25 - ARIANNA
CHAPTER
Arianna
SEEING MUSCULAR LEGS coming down the cellar steps, I straighten up from slouching on the chair, unsure when I should do so. I have no wish to impress the man who is supposed to be my husband.
I also wish I hadn’t reacted so pointedly by pulling my hand away from Red’s.
It made me look weak and pathetic. Red isn’t Luca Bristoni.
It’s... it’s just when someone – anyone – lays their hand on me now, my immediate reaction is.
.. well, one I don’t want to have. Learning what I’m being shown here is more important than my ruined life and off-the-cuff reactions.
“Thanks.” I take the coffee cup from Red’s hand, trying to avoid brushing his fingers, but as our skin touches I feel electric tingle rather than revulsion.
I don’t understand nor appreciate why that’s happening again, but it is.
I suppose it’s better than jerking away like a frightened little girl, though, so I’ll live with it.
I risk a surreptitious glance before looking away.
Looking at his face today brings conflicting emotions.
My resentment for his actions and what I believed to be true until overhearing the conversation between him and Oscar is marred by confusion, which distracts me from my decisions.
I can’t afford to get sidetracked. Especially over things that no longer have meaning nor merit.
Red remained outside the bedroom last night. He’s unaware I know that, but I do because I sensed his presence. I always could, and that hasn’t altered.
I sneak another quick glance in Red’s direction; his side profile is as angular as ever now that his hair is back in the ponytail, showing his sculpted face in all its finery.
It’s uncomfortable thinking that this man, who causes so many problems in my brain, also promotes a sense of safety, enabling me to sleep without nightmares. It’s an anomaly.
But I did sleep and slept without issue, which, for whatever reason, has refreshed me. Not that I’ll give him the satisfaction of thinking his presence allowed me peace of mind.
That’s if it did?
Refusing to waste time analyzing such trivialities, I sip the drink, grateful for a break. I won’t admit that either. Like hell I will! But my arms ache from aiming the gun, my wrist is sore, and I’ve developed a slight headache from concentrating on the target.
I feel that I’m getting somewhere with my task but is Red impressed that after explaining the barrel offset, it’s taken me just an hour and a half to progress from never having shot a gun, to being bang on target with nine out of ten shots?
Because I’m impressed.
However, with the way my mind is set, I knew I’d achieve it if shown properly. And, as much as it needles me, Red is an excellent teacher.
My gaze travels over his powerful hands, his thick fingers gripping the coffee cup like it contains water rather than boiling liquid, and not for the first time, I wonder how many people he’s killed with those hands.
Or even the gun I’ve been practicing with.
I should shudder at the prospect. By rights, it should horrify me. What I’m planning on doing should horrify me.
But it doesn’t. It excites me.
That I can mete out payback myself makes me feel better than I thought. And now I’m getting good with the gun, I believe I can do it.
Red looks over. “Shall we continue?”
“Just a few more minutes to finish this drink and then, yes,” I smile, surprising myself. Coming down here this morning, I didn’t expect to smile, but I’m pleased I’m achieving what I want. Pleased Red’s showing me what I need to know.
“You look rather happy with yourself,” Red mutters, not unkindly, but there’s reservation in his voice. He looks distracted. Or is it resignation?
“Are you disappointed I’m not as bad as you expected?
” All pleasure over my achievements so far fades.
“You wanted me to be terrible at this, didn’t you?
Admit it! You think yourself such a hard man, you can’t bear a woman doing anything well at what you class as men’s work.
I’m surprised I can manage holding a cup of coffee myself without requiring a man’s assistance! ”
I will myself to stop. I’m being pathetic, oversensitive and paranoid. “Sorry,” I mumble. “That was unnecessary.”
Red’s blue-gray eyes meet mine. “Many things are unnecessary, Arianna. This being one of them.” He nods to the firing range setup. “However, I appreciate it’s what you want to do.”
Irritation rankles, and I rapidly regret my apology. “You’re just humoring me?”
“I humor no one.” Red folds his arms, his defensive stance contradicting the long legs stretching out with ankles crossed in a relaxed pose. “You asked me to help and gave me little choice on the matter, unless I want you to walk into a disaster or worse. Which I do not.”
I color slightly, accepting he’s right. I wouldn’t have a clue about firing a gun had he not shown me. But I’m still not happy. “It’s a good job you’ve trained me then, isn’t it!”
“It takes longer than an hour to become competent, Arianna.” Red shakes his head with a hint of despair. “And there’s m...”
“Don’t patronize me!” I bark, my irritation bubbling over.
“For fuck’s sake! Give it a rest!” Red snatches a cigarette from his top pocket.
“Let me finish! I’m trying to tell you that there’s more to this shit than firing a gun.
You need tactics; you need to be one step ahead.
You need a lot of things in addition to being shit-hot on a trigger.
” He narrows his eyes. “You have to think like a killer, and you don’t!
There’s no room for emotions in this game, and that’s difficult when a target is someone close to you. ”
Think like a killer? I already killed my first husband! Red obviously hasn’t noticed that I’m not who I was. “The target is not close to me. I’m not the person I used to be any longer.”
Red’s eyes bore into mine. If he still possesses the ability to see into my soul, he’ll notice I no longer have one.
Ignoring my statement, he continues. “I admit I’m disappointed. I wanted you to be wholly incapable with your firing ability, but you’re not. In truth, you’re very good with a gun.”
“I bet that hurts you to say that,” I jibe, wishing I would just shut the hell up. Who was being the ungracious one here?
I attempt to turn my bitchiness around. “Do you really think I’m doing okay?” I resent my breathless voice and fluttering pulse. I want Red’s reassurance. I want his praise. I want his belief in me. Why?
Perhaps I need it.
“Yes, I do think you’re doing okay at this,” Red nods. “You’re a natural, but I won’t lie - I expected the opposite... I wanted the opposite because I’m terrified of something else happening to you. But if we plow on with shooting practice and work on your tactics, then...”
“Then what?” I shouldn’t hang on his every word, but I am.
“Then there’s no reason why you can’t succeed in your ‘task’.”
Red’s eyes don’t waver; his piercing gaze grips me, and I have to look away. “Let’s get on with it then!” I jump up from the chair, hiding the beam on my face.
His approval and agreeing to continue schooling me is not just about him backing down or me being the one to take out the people who’ve wronged me so desperately and remain a major threat to my sister.
It’s because for the first time since I’ve known Red and the first time from any man, I’m being treated as an equal.
And that floods me with the power to raze the world to the ground. Alone.