CHAPTER 31 - ARIANNA
CHAPTER
Arianna
PRETENDING TO BE ASLEEP, I lay on my back in the large bed, Red’s hard muscular body inches away, my head resting on his thick bicep.
I’m unsure why I asked him to stay here with me tonight. Especially in my bed. It seems the last thing I should have done, but it was all I wanted. His presence, scent and raw power next to me make me feel safe.
It also makes me feel a lot more than that...
Not wishing to disturb him, although I sense he’s not asleep either, I shift slightly, struggling with the urge to slip my hand under the sheet into the growing slickness between my legs and use my fingers to relieve my aching need.
I didn’t think I’d want Red again. Didn’t think I’d want anyone again, but he’s proved me wrong. I’ve proved myself wrong.
Now I believe, and more importantly, know he’s on my side and has never failed to be, it changes everything. The attraction I always had for him is returning with a vengeance.
My eyes have adjusted to the darkness of the bedroom. They’ve been open for the last two hours staring at the ceiling in the silence, listening to Red’s breathing. But however much I want to release my arousal, I don’t want to break the contact with Red’s hand.
I also want to turn into his body and curl further into the arm under my head and around my shoulders and tuck myself in into his chest, but I remain where I am.
Red holding my hand and his arm around my shoulders is all he’s done. He’s made no attempt to kiss me, touch me, overstep the mark - nothing. He’s not pushing me, nor making me feel uncomfortable about that.
That alone makes me want him more.
But it’s not fair to hint that I’m ready to go down that road when I don’t know if I am or ever will be. I’m frightened that even if I want to, I’ll clam up or freak out.
This day has been horrendous for reliving the events of my time under Luca and Matteo’s lock and key, but it’s also given me a small percentage of relief. Not enough by any means, but some.
Knowing I’ll see Maria tomorrow and Red will ensure nothing happens to her is more than I’d hoped for.
I relax further, realizing that this man - this gorgeous man, who I was stupid enough to doubt, that’s also my husband – albeit in name only again, has once more turned out to be my savior rather than my nemesis.
I freeze and hold my breath as Red shuffles.
See? Despite everything, I’m a bag of nerves, a tightly coiled spring, unsure of where the fault line lies in order to fix it.
I will my hammering heart to still. Red’s breathing has changed. I think he’s actually asleep now.
Moving my head slightly, I turn towards him, the outline of his face clear in the soft, hazy darkness. “Thank you,” I whisper, pressing my fingers to my lips and then touching his.
If anyone has the power to help heal me from this mess, it’s Red Bateman.
I turn back to lie centrally and resume staring at the ceiling, wishing beyond anything I could find the final piece required to move on completely from this nightmare.
Matteo and Luca will soon be dead, and Maria will be safe, but until I know whether there is a child inside me belonging to Luca Bristoni, I’m in limbo.
As much as there’s a big part of me that doesn’t want to know every grim detail, if my brain would slide open the cover of the missing information, I wouldn’t have to wait for nature to supply the answer.
But maybe I’m not ready for that memory to become knowledge? Maybe I’m not ready to destroy the hope of there being a future again with Red Bateman after all?
Because if I’m pregnant by Luca Bristoni, how can there be a future?