CHAPTER 44 - ARIANNA
CHAPTER
Arianna
I ’M NOT MYSELF. Since Roberto; what happened in the cellar with Liam; all the nastiness; Steve’s death; what happened just now on the way back from the wake... And this... this fake marriage...
I can’t take it. My head pounds, and I’m panicking. I know I’m in a strange place. Maybe that’s what pushed me to beg Red to stay? Or maybe it’s the base desire that I cannot justify or ignore that throbs needily between my legs the whole time I’m around him or think of him.
I do not know, but I can’t help it. I’ve never been so drawn to anyone in my life.
I didn’t believe I was capable of it anymore, but right now, my mind isn’t equipped to question it.
Each time Roberto forced himself on me, I became further conditioned to accept it.
Although I’d been schooled to expect and accept it, I never wanted it. Or him.
But Red... Red is different.
I stare at his long hair curling around his shoulders. I haven’t seen it free of that ponytail before and... and I like it. I want to touch it. Touch him. I want to feel his lips on mine.
Properly this time.
My legs move me forward, and I ignore the pain in my knees. I’m bleeding everywhere, but I don’t care.
I can’t work Red out. How he acts conflicts with how he looks at me. Those piercing blue-gray eyes are cold and guarded, yet he touched my face so gently just now.
Why did I flinch?
Because I always flinch when a man comes near me. There’s only ever been one, unless I class Liam’s hands on me in the cellar, which I don’t. But if Red hates me as much as he seems to, why not let his brother carry on? Why stand up for me and stop Liam? He hit his own brother. For me.
Was it for me?
Why is Red going to such lengths to protect me? Like outside just now? Regardless of the state of my knees, I know he was desperate to ensure my safety.
Then there was that time when he protected me with his own body the night Steve was killed.
And this marriage... being kept against everyone else’s wishes...
Is it feasible he’d work things to such an extent purely to score points against the Bristonis and honor his pledge to keep my family safe, despite them being enemies?
Or are there other reasons?
I watch him move to the door. I have to say something. I don’t want him to go. I’ve already told him that. But what do I mean?
Do I mean that I want him or that I don’t want to be alone?
My body wants him, but my mind doesn’t. It’s a strange feeling.
Wanting Redmond Bateman anything other than dead goes against everything I’ve been trained to think.
“Thank you for... erm... for what you’ve done, you know.
.. well, everything...” Oh God, I can’t speak properly.
I can’t think. I can’t function. Red is so close, yet his eyes shower me with ice.
“I’d do it for anyone,” Red mutters dismissively. “As for the rest - whatever it takes to fuck up the Bristonis is good by me.”
“Yes, of course. I...” Shut up, Arianna. You’re embarrassing yourself.
Red turns away from the door, the ferocity behind his eyes all but flooring me. “You know many people here aren’t happy with my decision to marry you, but I won’t have my brothers or anyone taking the piss.”
“But this stuff you’re doing! You’re risking everything!
” I stumble over the right words. “I mean, you bought me all those beautiful, expensive clothes, yet I’ve already ruined one dress!
And you never told me if you’re Irish. That man at the funeral mentioned something ab.
..” My words trail off, hating myself more for babbling such utter rubbish.
“You think I give two fucks about a few quid spent on clothes?” Red laughs, his eyes still cold. “And no, I’m not Irish. I guess my parents just liked Irish names.”
“What about my parents? Are they still protected? From... from you...” I tail off, realizing how futile my words are.
“You think I give a flying fuck about them? Your father is my enemy, remember? He’s yours too, but you’ve yet to realize it.
” Red moves back towards me, his dark brows furrowing.
“I think you forget the position you’ve put me in.
I’ve already told you your family is safe for now, but if they move against me, they are not. ”
“How can my parents be my enemies? What they’ve done for me isn’t what people outside of our culture understand, but I do!”
I snatch air into my lungs before the supply cuts off from Red’s closeness. He’s in my face, and if I’d forgotten what position I’ve put him in, as well as myself, I haven’t now. It barrels back into my head with crystal clarity.
Against my will, my eyes fall to his mouth. I can’t look into his eyes - they hold too much hatred for me. Regardless, the throbbing in my center continues.
“I won’t be dictated to about what I should and shouldn’t do.” Red’s eyes dance with fury. “By anyone. And that includes you .”
My throat closes as he trails his finger up my neck to my chin, forcing me to raise my eyes to look into his.
“We’ll play the game, Arianna, but you need to be less tense.
Do not fear me. I have no need to force myself on women.
Neither do I expect nor want you to follow through with anything behind closed doors.
” He lowers his mouth closer to mine. “We merely play a part in public, as discussed. Now, there’s things I have to do, so I’ll leave you to it. ”
My eyes close in anticipation, my nipples standing to attention. Before I can question what I’m doing, it feels the most natural thing in the world to push myself on tiptoes and brush my lips against his.
Red jerks back, his shock mixed with raw heat. My cheeks burn with shame. What the hell am I doing?
I don’t get to answer myself before his mouth crashes onto mine, the sheer ferocity of his kiss forcing all air from my lungs.
Molten fire liquidates within me as I’m pulled against him.
His kiss deepens, his tongue searching my mouth.
It’s hot, awakening my nerve endings, and my tongue dances with his.
Burning desire overtakes me, and then my hands are in his hair, the outline of his rock-hard length tight against my stomach.
A small moan escapes my mouth, the heat in my core unbearable.
Then he pulls away.
I blink, my ears ringing. What the...?
Red stares at me with an unreadable expression. “Let’s just save it for the public, eh?”
I scramble to make sense of the tumult of sensations flowing through me as he moves to the door. Pressing my thighs together only heightens the unfamiliar feelings. “I...”
Red opens the door. “I’ll return later. Like I said, I’ve got things to do. Now, go and have your bath.”
As the door closes behind him, I sink onto the bed, my arousal not abating. What the fuck just happened?
Holy shit! I’ve got to make these strange feelings go away.