CHAPTER 74 - ARIANNA
CHAPTER
Arianna
“ W OULD YOU PREFER me to sleep in my office tonight?” Red stands to the side of the bed, a white towel wrapped around his hips.
I thought the prospect of any man making me wet after tonight was nil, but apparently not. But this is more than that - a lot more. I manage a small smile. “I don’t want to be on my own.”
And there’s only one person I want here with me...
“Then I’ll remain, if that’s what you want.” Red reaches for one of his pillows. “I’ll sleep on the floor. That way I’ll be in here if you need me.”
Before I can question myself, I reach out and grab his wrist. “I need you now, not later.”
Red stops, his fingers still clutching the plump pillow.
His eyes move to my hand encircling his wrist. A wave of anticipation floods me as his blue-gray gaze then moves to lock with mine.
It holds a quizzical look, like he’s unsure of what I’m saying.
Questioning whether he’s reading something into my words that isn’t there.
But he’s not...
I know what I’m saying. I know what I mean, and I know what I want.
I also know that if we go ahead, it means crossing the line we promised not to cross, but I don’t care.
I want this. I want him .
Still staring at me, he stands at the side of the bed, and dread rushes over me with the thought that I’ve gone wrong again. Red has said several times this past week that he’s not interested in me in that way, so why do I push it? Have I an innate quest to humiliate myself?
Dropping my grip on his wrist, I look away. “The floor will be fine,” I blurt. “As long as you don’t mind.” Jesus Christ. Why did I all but throw myself at him again? With what happened tonight, he’ll think me a whore.
I feel sick at the prospect. What if Red thinks I encouraged that man?
Suddenly, the nightmare of tonight’s events bulldozes into my brain, and I bite my lip. I’m not thinking straight; that’s why I just said what I did.
“Arianna.”
Remaining turned away, I feel Red’s weight on the edge of the bed, but I still can’t look at him. I don’t want to look at him. I can’t bear knowing he doesn’t want me.
“Arianna!” Red’s voice is forceful. “Look at me.”
Despite my misgivings, I turn towards the voice which melts my insides every time I hear it. Meeting his eyes, his piercing gaze sears my heart, and when he reaches for my hand, I want to pull away, but find my fingers drawn to his with that impossible magnetic attraction.
“As I said, I’m happy to stay on the floor while you sleep,” Red murmurs.
“I’ll even stand at the door the entire night if you prefer?
” He pauses, like he’s weighing up whether he wants to say his next words or not, and I can’t pull my eyes from his.
“I’ll do anything you want me to do.” He rakes his free hand through his hair.
“When I thought I’d never see you again tonight, it. .. it almost killed me.”
My breath hitches. “B-But you said...”
“I say a lot of things!” Red shakes his head, his gorgeous hair loose over his bare shoulders. “I mean everything I say, aside from that I don’t want you. I do want you. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.”
My heart ups its pace. “I...”
“You’re the first woman I’ve had to keep my distance from,” he continues, making my soaring heart plummet as fast as it rose. “I can’t be with a woman I really want when she’ll never want me.”
I’ll never want him? It’s the other way around, isn’t it?
I push myself up from where I’m leaning against the headboard to cautiously move closer. I’ve never been so forward in my life, but if tonight has brought anything positive, it’s shown me I should act on what I want. “I do want you. I shouldn’t... but I do. And I have done for some time...”