Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The weather in Miami was not fitting for a hoodie, but Cooper wore one anyway.
He also wore a pair of dark sunglasses and a baseball cap with the brim stretched out over the top of his head.
As much as he wanted to remain incognito, he understood the odds of walking away from the Super Bowl without anyone noticing him were slim to none.
There wasn’t a chance in hell he was going to miss this game, though. Absolutely no chance he was going to miss his boy’s big game.
There was a quarter to go, but the Knights were up by three scores in what was a disastrous showing for the Oilers. If the score held through the fourth, it’d be the biggest blowout in championship history.
The Nico Fallon on that field was not the same Nico Fallon that Cooper met six years prior. He was refined. He knew when to keep running and when to run out of bounds.
The game ended without another score by either team, and it was official—both Cooper and Nico had won a Super Bowl.
Cooper considered changing into something nicer than his white tee and sweatpants. The occasion called for something more formal, but Nico was anything but. Cooper stared at the navy blue suit hanging in the hotel closet, a color he had picked out to match the Knights’ primary color.
Too cheesy, Cooper thought. Too on the nose.
He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and leaned against the suite bar. He had about seven minutes until Nico was supposed to show up, which meant he actually had about twenty. That boy was never on time for anything.
And then seven minutes early, Nico knocked on the door.
Cooper answered with a nervous smile and was stunned at the man standing before him.
Nostalgia had been hitting Cooper hard all day as he felt as if he had watched a boy morph into a man.
Standing there in the hallway, Nico looked beyond handsome in a navy suit with a white shirt unbuttoned at the top.
The diamond necklace Cooper had bought him hung around his neck.
His hair was slicked back with a sliver of hair hanging over the side of his forehead.
Nico stepped inside without a word, closing the door behind him.
“You have that post-win glow.” Cooper pinned Nico against the door and kissed him on the neck. “It’s almost as sexy as your post-nut glow.”
Nico grabbed onto the back of Cooper’s head. “Aren’t I always glowing?”
“Don’t be a brat,” Cooper whispered against Nico’s ear.
“It’s what I’m good at, though.” Nico slid out of his suit jacket and tossed it onto the counter.
He pushed Cooper backward, guiding him to a seated position on the couch in front of the open windows.
Nico climbed onto Cooper’s lap, straddling him.
“I only have about fifteen minutes before I have to head out with the boys.”
Fifteen minutes would have been the shortest amount of time they’d spent together since the plane bathroom. It wasn’t even close to being long enough. “How about thirty?”
Nico’s kissable lips hitched into a wide-stretched grin. “Don’t be a brat.”
Cooper bucked upward, gaining enough leverage to rip his tee over his head. “You’re going to get it hard.”
“I should be exhausted, but I’m on this high I can’t come down from,” Nico said, his voice racing a mile a minute. “I should be lying down like a starfish, but I want you just like this. I fucking won the Super Bowl.”
“I have eyes.” Cooper unbuttoned and pulled off Nico’s shirt and ran his hands over Nico’s smooth torso that was painted in fresh scrapes and bruises. “I’m so damn proud of you.” He bit softly on the side of Nico’s neck. “So damn proud of us.”
“Say that again.” Nico combed his fingers through Cooper’s hair. “It turns me on.”
“I’m proud of you, baby.”
Nico stilled. “Thanks.”
“And we can break this cage wide open and stop living in this solitary confinement we’ve created for ourselves.”
“I don’t want to talk about that now.” Nico lowered his lips to meet Cooper’s, but Cooper withdrew. “I’m being serious.”
Cooper pushed a hand against Nico’s chest, holding him in place. “A deal is a deal.”
Nico groaned. “If you’re in such a hurry to come out, then come out.”
“We do it together.”
Nico sighed and rolled off Cooper. He glanced down at his watch. “Thirteen minutes now.”
“Twenty-seven minutes,” Cooper corrected him, but he knew Nico hadn’t agreed to those new terms. “I don’t like the vibe right now.”
“I’ve just been…” Nico shrugged, “thinking.”
Cooper’s gaze twisted to the side. “You’re scaring me.”
“I don’t think it’s anything bad, but you’re the one who said this stupid cage was meant to protect us. Maybe it’s not so bad here.”
Cooper squeezed Nico’s thigh, comforting him. “You’re getting cold feet?”
“These feet are turning real hot.” Nico grabbed Cooper’s hand and removed it from his body. “This is the last thing I want to talk about tonight.”
Cooper was old enough, and wise enough, to know where this was heading.
Not wanting to talk about it now would turn into not talking about it ever.
It’s the kind of thing someone said when they’d already made up their mind about something.
And maybe he was going fucking crazy, but he swore he could hear the first crack.
And then another.
The glass was breaking.
And his heart raced. Ached.
His throat dried, and he jumped to his feet. He grabbed the unopened water bottle off the bar, twisted the cap off, and took a long gulp.
He watched as Nico stood up from the couch, hand fumbling over his belt buckle.
“Just fuck me, please,” Nico begged, closing the distance between them as he tore his belt through the loops of his trousers. The leather belt landed with a clank against the floor. “I don’t want to fight on a night like this.”
“I’m not really in the mood to fuck right now.”
Nico pouted, knowing he would get his way. “Twelve minutes are going to go fast.”
But it wasn’t going to work. Not when Cooper’s head was spinning. “Stop acting like a fucking brat and talk to me.”
Was it a demand? A request? The fuck if even Cooper knew.
“You told me, remember?” Nico let out a flustered sigh and shook his head violently.
“The fans would grab their pitchforks and turn into a mob if they ever found out I was gay. If they ever found out I liked sucking dick and absolutely fucking loved taking dick.” He pointed squarely at Cooper with both a finger and his eyes.
“Those were your words and as much as I’ve tried to forget them, they are seared into my mind. ”
“Don’t put that on me,” Cooper said quietly.
But Nico was right.
“Where else should I put it?” Nico threw his arms to the side. “Because I don’t know if you know this, but your little speech that night is the primary reason I decided to hide who I am.”
Cooper finally understood, but he was too afraid to admit he knew. He needed to hear Nico say he was reneging on the deal. “What are you doing right now?”
“Look, I’m not saying anything you don’t already know, but you’re older than me. You’ve been doing this for years.” Nico bowed his head, defeated. “What you’re asking me to do isn’t fair to me.”
“We had a deal,” Cooper scowled. “And besides, you won a Super Bowl! It’s not like they’re going to replace you with some rookie or god-forbid second-stringer. You’re the best fucking quarterback in the league. I think you’ve earned the right to be open about who you are.”
Nico huffed. “Then why didn’t you come out after you won yours?”
“Because I was waiting for you.”
Nico said nothing. Stood there like a man who wasn’t breaking another man’s heart. Maybe he didn’t know what to say. Maybe he knew whatever he said would only make things worse. But Cooper needed his baby boy to say something. Anything. Whisper it. Shout it. Scream it.
Just fucking say something.
Cooper’s hand rolled into a fist, tight enough he could feel his trimmed fingernails scraping against skin.
And then finally, he lied through his teeth. “I let you win in the playoffs. Threw an interception in that final drive so you’d get the ball back.”
“Don’t,” Nico seethed. “Don’t do that. Don’t try and make me believe you gave me what I won.”
Cooper nodded. He recognized it wasn’t the mature thing to do but when he was this irritated, he had a tendency to provoke. “Two interceptions all year, and one was conveniently thrown just in time for you to score. You’re welcome, by the way.”
“Fuck off.” Nico turned and grabbed his shirt. He pulled it over his shoulders and buttoned it in a hurry. “I’m out of here.”
The sound of the breaking glass echoed in Cooper’s mind. A small splinter in the cage, growing like a cobweb. He unclenched his fist. “Nico, don’t leave.”
“Give me one reason to stay,” Nico said, pulling his belt back through the loops of his trousers.
“Please…”
“Beg.”
“I’m begging you,” Cooper pleaded, placing his hands together as if he was praying to a god he didn’t believe in. “Choose to stay. Choose me. It doesn’t have to be forever. Just for now. Stay. Talk.”
“You want to talk? Let’s talk.” Nico stepped forward, grabbed his suit jacket off the counter, and slung it over his shoulders. “I used to think I was in love with you.”
Nico’s words stabbed Cooper in the heart.
Nico continued, “But this thing we’ve been chasing for so long…
maybe we’re just two friends trying to put broken puzzle pieces together because nobody else in the world would understand.
” Nico stared into Cooper’s eyes, and his own eyes were a familiar storm.
“And somewhere along the way, I got so lost. I was twenty-two then. I’m almost twenty-eight now and I don’t know who the fuck I am.
I’ve been in this cage with you for the entirety of my twenties. ”
Nico caressed Cooper’s cheek softly. It was a tender moment in the raging storm.
The kind of stolen moments Cooper feared he’d never feel again.
Nico pulled his hand back and retreated.
And as he continued, his voice broke. “I spent my whole life being someone else, living other people’s dreams. But I’m on top now, and I’m not going to sink my own ship for something that will only drown me in the end anyway. ”
All Cooper could see was red—a potent combination of sadness and anger. “Do you have any idea how hard this has been for me?”
“You’ve reminded me every step of the way that you’d always choose your dead boyfriend over me. Do you know what that does to someone? And I get it, I don’t blame you for still loving him. That’s not the problem here.”
Cooper shouted, “Then what the fuck is the problem?”
“That you can’t love anyone else. Six years is a long-ass time, Coop.”
“You’re being intentionally obtuse because what the fuck do you think I’m doing right now?
I’m literally about to jump out of the closet.
Surprise, world! And I’m doing that for you.
” Cooper launched his water bottle across the room, landing with a thud against the wall and leaving a crack.
“But maybe you’re still that same fucking brat who walked into my training facility all those years ago. ”
“Fuck you, Callahan,” Nico screamed with a rage typically reserved for the field in a divisional matchup.
Guess they were really enemies now. “You built this goddamn cage and imprisoned me in it with you and now, maybe I have Stockholm syndrome.” His eyes cinched, fighting back tears.
“Do you know how many times I wished we—” He stopped himself.
“How many times my heart stopped? Every fucking time, because with you, it was always the last time. You’d give me the rope, just a little bit of slack and then you’d rip it right on back.
And now you’re begging me to not let go? ”
Nico backed up slowly, backed to the door.
Cooper realized this wasn’t like every other time.
This was the final last time.
“I hope you get everything you want in this life,” Nico cried. “I hope those things make you happy.”
“I want you,” Cooper whispered, the words barely escaping his lips. He’d gone from one extreme to the next like he was having a full-on breakdown. Still, no tears came. “I’ve always wanted you.”
“I hope you find someone else you want.” Nico’s eyes sank. “I hope you treat him better than you treated me.”
Nico stepped past Cooper, and the whiff of his cologne sent Cooper reeling. Oak and amber, a scent he could never forget.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Cooper latched onto Nico’s wrist. “Please stop.”
Nico cocked his head over his shoulder but said nothing.
A thunder roared deep within Cooper, and the words that came fumbling out of his mouth surprised even him. “I love you.”
Nico blinked away the tears once, and then twice. “Those are the words I needed to hear a long time ago.”
Nico left in a hurry, and when the door slammed shut behind him, the glass cage completely shattered.