Chapter 9 #2
I couldn’t hide my shock that she was there as she shoved Rebecca away from me.
“You will never touch this child again,” Rita bit out. “You are a disgrace of a mother, and I’m glad the gods would punish you to never have more children. That is just when—”
“You don’t even know—who do you think you are to even—”
“There are no cameras here or media to spin tales for, Rebecca,” Rita snapped.
“We all know the truth and you are still a terrible mother. I don’t even like Jean for how she has treated Bevin, and I am upset on her behalf.
How can you call yourself a mother and threaten your own daughter?
I would—you have no idea what it means to be a mother! ”
“I will not be lectured by someone like you,” Rebecca spat out.
“Someone like me? You mean someone who almost lost a child because of your mate? You know who I am, and the fact you haven’t already apologized or immediately did now when you saw me is disgusting.”
“I didn’t do anything. Charles did it!”
“Yes, but all of your daughters have apologized for the pain and suffering our family has gone through and none of them were responsible either.”
I was impressed to hear Jean did that. It gave me some hope for her.
She was still a psychopath, but at least she could behave? Maybe?
“Silence,” Rita ordered in Latin when Rebecca opened her mouth again, smirking when we couldn’t hear her rant. “Well, clearly, I’m the more powerful witch when you look down your nose at me.” She snorted and stepped closer to Rebecca, stopping when the Shaw guards around us reacted.
“She’s not worth it,” I mumbled, not sure what else to do.
Rita turned and the pity in her eyes made me feel weird.
“No, but you are, sweetie.” She blinked back tears as she looked at Clare and then even Jean.
“All three of you are.” That shocked all of us, but she was focused back on Rebecca.
“You were the victim once, Rebecca. You were, and I grieve the girl you once were who wasn’t protected as you should have been.
“But you became a monster.” She pointed at Jean.
“You cannot rant you are the victim while threatening your fucking child! I would take a lifetime of banishment if it would help my boys for a moment! That is a parent. That is love and you don’t know how to love.
You know how to lash out. And if it was just you then maybe I would feel bad for you.
“But I can’t because you hurt others, Rebecca.
You are just as big of a monster as Charles in my eyes.
” She nodded when everyone around us had a variety of shocked reactions.
“You did nothing to reel him in. I just watched Bevin not react to your going to slap her.
That means she was used to it! This gem of a girl was used to you slapping her.
“Have you no shame? You’re a mother and you didn’t protect your girls.
You were blessed with three girls and you allowed them to be treated as you were, worse if you hurt Bevin and jeered she would be mated to someone who abused her.
” She snorted. “Only because you couldn’t sacrifice her.
” She let out a shaky breath. “You are not a victim here, Rebecca. You are the monster.”
I wasn’t the only one gobsmacked when she carefully herded me to leave. She was careful not to put her hands on me, but her arm was across my back like… I wasn’t really sure since I was a bit shocked.
Rita dipped her head to Jean. “I apologize for using magic at your home on your family without your permission, but as a mother I couldn’t contain that.
I wish you the best and hope you free yourself from that toxic woman as well and grow to become healed after your abuse instead of the monster Rebecca became. I’m here if you need to talk.”
I’d never seen Jean speechless, acting like a fish as she stared at Rita like she’d grown another head.
And then we just left.
I simply blinked at Rita as so much raced through my mind.
She chuckled and pushed her hair out of her face. “I had a question after you left the factory and didn’t know you were going there. When I heard you were—Nina and I were fighting who could go and chew out your mother. We knew she would take the opportunity to harass you. Fucking bully.”
“Thanks, Rita,” I whispered.
“I hope you’re not upset with me for offering to help Jean,” Rita hedged.
I opened my mouth and then closed it a few times, doing the fish impression too before sighing. “I’m not. I don’t know what I am but…”
She studied me and then my aura.
“She doesn’t trust Jean enough to risk you won’t get hurt but also can’t tell you what to do,” Tracey said from behind me. “You need to understand how manipulative Jean is, Rita. You see an abused child, but Jean is—you’re not wrong, but she is smart and dangerous.”
“Yes, but—”
“No but, Rita,” Tracey cut in, her voice cold.
“She could have handled Alex abusing Bevin. Easily. The first time snitched or—she was smart enough to handle it so she didn’t get hurt and would still come out the hero.
She kept that ace in her back pocket to benefit her not caring what it did to Bevin.
Jean is already a broken monster. You weren’t there for the meeting we were. ”
Rita swallowed loudly. “You’re probably right, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be saved.”
“I just can’t be a part of it or hear it,” I said firmly, backing away from her. “And I don’t think you can be the one to save her after what Charles did to Kevin, just as Kelton couldn’t help me recover from that either.”
Rita opened her mouth but then slowly closed it and nodded. “I see myself in Jean. I had…” She let out a long breath. “I became manipulative to survive, and my mate was the one who helped me see there was another way to live. Jean could just need that help.”
“Maybe, or you could become roadkill as she uses you like a chess piece to control Bev,” Tracey said firmly. “You think that’s worth the risk given what’s already happened?”
I was really, really glad Tracey had walked into this.
My phone buzzed and saved me from the rest of this. I turned and gave Tracey a grateful look and excused myself. I saw it was from Clare and opened it, frowning at first but then excited. She was in the library and starting to map everything out for me.
I decided it would be easier to do this on one of Tracey’s monitors for work instead of my phone and went to her study.
Plugging in my phone, I saved the pictures coming in on the desktop and started there.
Instantly, I recognized books and realized it might be easier to just FaceTime Clare and she could take pictures of the books’ faces instead?
Maybe?
I put in my earbuds and connected to her.
“I realized the same,” she said in way of greeting, the camera facing books instead of her.
She went back to the beginning and I directed her to exactly what I wanted, excited as she quickly pulled several out and took pictures of the covers so I could acquire them now.
Or at least have a real list for Mrs. Reid instead of always promising that I did know things.
Even for Wyatt. It was beyond frustrating to always know that I was better educated than I seemed, but it was just because I hadn’t had the basics in practice. And I felt the fool because of that and I never had the proof.
“Clare, don’t bother with that section,” Grandmother said in the background. “I told you those are all advanced books. There is no chance Bevin would understand them.”
“I would think everyone in this family should have learned some humility about her,” Clare replied coldly.
“I don’t think any of us should be saying much about what we know of the other given how many secrets and lies we were all keeping and telling, so I would appreciate if you took this clean slate seriously instead of tearing her down in front of me. ”
Wow. I appreciated the support and Grandmother seemed taken aback… But it affected me. Hearing Grandmother and that attitude of hers towards me.
She didn’t see me as a grandchild still. She might have had a moment of softness towards me—for lack of a better word—because I’d saved Clare who she actually loved, but I would forever be the failed sacrifice.
The Shaw disaster. Not one of them.
Grandmother toned it back, but there were several more comments that were milder but just as cutting. Clare snapped and so did I.
Except she did verbally and I did internally.
I ended the call and sent a message thanking her, that it was a great start, but clearly we needed to continue without Grandmother to be productive. That I was sorry I intruded on their time.
And then suddenly I was racing down the path to the lake.
Like racing as if someone was chasing me.
Weren’t they? Just not physically.
Could the past chase someone?
Yes. Abso-fucking-lutely yes, and it wasn’t a bad instinct to just run.
I wiped my eyes when I accepted that and ran safer, watching the path and careful not to trip. Everything was really such a mess. Rita wanted to save someone who was a monster in my life. Clare wanted to save her relationship with the other one.
And I still ached to burn the Shaw house to the ground.
With some of those people I saw today in it.
So no, I wasn’t a good person. I was actually a lot more like a Shaw than Grandmother would ever have guessed or thought.
I reached the lake too fast for where my head was and without thinking, I let out a wordless scream. I didn’t even know for what or exactly why, but I felt it so deeply that I just wanted it out of me.
Like I wished I could get the hurt out of me instead of always carrying so much of it. Was that really too much to ask? Could things never really get better?
“You’re going to be okay, little sexy,” Winter said from behind me.
I spun around so fast that I lost my footing. Luckily, he had great reflexes and caught me before I was a cliché klutz and landed in the lake or at least on the muddy bank.
I didn’t even blink and I was staring up into his pretty ice-blue eyes. “I just want to be better. I don’t want to be this broken. I don’t want to keep letting them hurt me when I hate them.”
Was that really too much to ask?
Apparently, it was.