Chapter Twenty #2
“Before I took my wedding vows with you, I took another oath,” he muttered, feeling despondent even as he said it.
“I took an oath of the code of chivalry. I became a knight long before I ever became a husband. You are asking me to choose between you and a timeless code of honor that has become the very fabric of my being. As much as I love you, and I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman, I have an honor within me that cannot be undone, not even by you. I will not leave my father and brother and friend in Scotland, fighting a war that I dragged them into. You know why I had to do this. I thought you understood a knight’s heart, my heart, but I see that I was mistaken.
All you can see is what you want to see and demand that I prove my love to you as if my word and actions are not good enough.
I find that uncommonly selfish and petty.
Tomorrow, I will take you back to Carlisle Castle and I will return to Scotland to do what I said I would do.
When it is over, make no mistake that I will return for my wife, and we will be together until the end of my life.
If you want to hate me for doing as I must, then I cannot stop you. I am sorry it has come to this.”
With that, he turned and went inside the cottage, leaving the door open so she could follow. Cathlina, however, didn’t follow. She stood there, staring at the spot she had last seen him standing, wondering how the situation had turned so terrible.
She loved Mathias. She loved him with all of her heart and deep down she knew he loved her too.
She understood the chivalric code, but she also understood her own wants.
Her husband with her, safely, and not off fighting Scots who threw their axes into men’s chests.
It was a reality she couldn’t accept and at the pinnacle of it was her terror that Mathias would never make it back to her.
She was terrified that she was going to lose him.
Breaking down into painful sobs, Cathlina collapsed right there on the river bank with Midgy frolicking several yards away.
When Mathias came out of the cottage an hour later to look for her, he found her sleeping the sleep of the dead on the cold river bank. Sweeping her into his arms, he hugged her tightly as he took her back to the cottage. When they slept, it was in each other’s arms.
*
She could feel his hot breath on her neck.
It was early morning as the sun strained to break free of the horizon, sending pillars of golden light through the window, filling the tiny cottage with illumination.
Cathlina and Mathias were burrowed down deep in the little bed, smothered by covers in their warm and wonderful world.
Cathlina could feel Mathias’ massive body wrapped around her, his naked hip next to her hand.
Feeling him, smelling him, brought about warm and passionate feelings.
Half-asleep, Cathlina stroked his hip with her hand, wriggling her bum back against him.
Mostly asleep, Mathis still responded to her, as he always did when she was close.
There was something about the woman that sent liquid fire through his veins that he could not control.
She was still clad in her surcoat and shift from the night before but his hands snaked up her skirts as his mouth latched on to her ear.
She trembled giddily as he suckled a sensitive little lobe, his hands already pulling her legs apart and pushing her skirts out of the way.
Cathlina groaned as he entered her from behind, thrusting deep into her heated and moist body.
He held her pelvis against his as he found his rhythm, performing the primal mating ritual that joined his body to hers.
He pulled her left leg up, holding her fast so he could gain more freedom of movement as his mouth moved to her neck and gently nibbled.
The more he thrust, the more inflamed he became, biting her shoulder and listening to her gasp with the pleasure-pain of it.
Letting go of her leg, he flipped her onto her back and mounted her once more, long and hard.
Cathlina was swept up in their love making, her hand on his face as he repeatedly impaled her on his enormous phallus.
Mathias kissed her deeply, his tongue invading her sweet mouth, tasting her as if he were feeding a massive hunger that refused to be sated.
He pulled at her surcoat, freeing her breasts, and his tongue lapped up the tender nipples greedily as he continued to thrust. A hand moved to the junction where their bodies were joined and he rubbed her mound, feeling her buck and gasp beneath him.
When she finally found her pleasure, he answered with a massive climax of his own.
His seed was spilled, filling her deeply and fully, and he whispered his love for her over and over, telling her how very much he adored her.
Exhausted, Cathlina kissed him tenderly before snuggling down against him and falling back asleep.
Mathias, however, remained awake. Even though the sun was rising and they needed to start their day, he was loath to get out of bed, wallowing in this delicate cocoon of warmth and love.
After the night they’d had, the things that had been said, he wanted to forget it all like some horrible nightmare.
Worse still, he was coming to wonder if she wasn’t right.
Was his knighthood more important than her?
Was he being selfish? He didn’t think so, and he hated it when he started to second-guess himself.
As Cathlina snored softly, he carefully disengaged himself from her and got out of bed.
Mathias was very quiet as he donned his clothing but once he began to put on his armor, the noise awoke Cathlina. He passed a glance at her after putting on his noisy mail coat and saw that she was awake and looking at him. He smiled timidly.
“Good morn, love,” he said softly. “Did you sleep well?”
Cathlina nodded, sitting up in bed as she watched him pull on his hauberk. “I did, but I had a horrible dream,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “I had a terrible dream that we quarreled.”
His jaw ticked faintly as he straightened out the mail hood. “That was no dream,” he muttered. “I am afraid we did quarrel. I am sorry if I hurt you. You know I would never knowingly do that.”
Cathlina blinked her sleepy eyes, thinking back to the previous night and the things that were said. She started to get misty but rubbed her eyes again to mask it.
“Then nothing has changed,” she whispered sadly. “You are still taking me home and then returning to Scotland without me. I do not know why you should apologize for choosing your own wants over mine.”
He didn’t want to start arguing with her again. He put his shoulder protection on and began strapping it to the breastplate. “I have a duty, Cathlina,” he said softly. “I am sorry if you cannot understand that.”
“You have a duty to me as well. I am sorry if you cannot understand that.”
“I will not have this conversation with you again. The subject is closed.”
Cathlina shut her mouth. Silently, she climbed out of the bed and began stripping off her clothing, completely ignoring Mathias as he finished dressing.
There was a bucket of water on the table and she proceeded to pull out a clean shift, clean surcoat, her precious lavender soap and a rag.
As Mathias pulled on his boots, she stood in her shift and washed her face, neck and arms, rinsing off in the very cold water and drying herself with the hem of the shift she was wearing.