Chapter Fifteen #3
He lifted his head and looked at her. “Sadly true,” he said.
He kissed her hand again and his smile faded.
“But facing this now… the fact that the letter was in War’s saddlebags means that he knows he is my son.
If he finds the letter missing, he might assume I have it.
Or someone stole it and is going to blackmail him.
I realize that it is a great deal to ask, but your counsel would be appreciated in the matter, my lady. What do I do?”
Jordan gazed down at her handsome husband, her hand still in his hair. “I am concerned as tae why he had that letter in his bags,” she said thoughtfully. “Did he bring it tae give it tae ye? Or has he been carrying it around, building up some sort of rage against ye?’
William pondered that. “Why would he be angry at me?” he said. “I knew nothing about him or about Jane’s condition. She never told me anything.”
Jordan shrugged. “It may not matter tae him,” she said. “If he knew he was yer son, why not come tae ye before now? Why did I have tae find that letter in his bags? He should have told ye when he first arrived.”
William lifted his eyebrows. “I am not entirely certain that is something you tell someone you’ve only just met,” he said. “Mayhap he is waiting until the right moment.”
“Or mayhap he has come tae harm ye somehow.”
William shook his head. “He cannot harm me,” he said. “I’ve never gotten that feeling from him. I’m a fairly good judge of men’s characters, Jordan. In my profession, I have to be. I’ve never felt hostility from him, not ever.”
Jordan wasn’t going to push the subject, but she couldn’t help feeling suspicious of War and his motives.
“Then if ye want tae know what tae do, I think that ye must tell him that I found the letter,” she said.
“If he is looking for the right time, the time would be now. Ye must make it the right time. But tell him how I found the letter– that it was by accident. I dunna want the man tae think we were spying on him.”
He nodded faintly. “But… what should I say to him?” he asked. “Do I acknowledge him as my son? He stands to inherit nothing from me; that belongs to Scott and Troy. War has no right to anything, so what do I say to him? What does he expect from me?”
Jordan stroked his hair. “Ask him,” she said softly. “Ask him what he wants. Mayhap he only wants tae know that ye know about him and nothing more. Mayhap he only wants tae be yer acquaintance.”
“That is all it can ever be, Jordan,” he said. “I may acknowledge him, but I will not accept him as my son. I will not do that to the sons I already have.”
“And I would hope he would not expect ye tae,” Jordan said.
“But I’m still concerned that he had that letter in his bags and dinna tell ye about it.
Clearly, he knows who ye are. And ye know who he is.
Ye must address that so there is no confusion and ye must make sure there are no hard feelings.
The man is in command of Bamburgh and is tae be yer ally.
Ye dunna want it tae be a relationship fraught with tension. ”
No, William didn’t want that. He went from kneeling in front of Jordan to sitting against her, his back against her legs, his hand still holding hers.
“What about Scott and Troy and the rest of my sons?” he asked, sounding bewildered. “Do I tell them? Do I not? I do not know what to say to them.”
Jordan could hear his confusion, his sadness. He didn’t want to hurt their sons by telling them that there was a half-brother out there. She gave his hand a squeeze.
“Talk tae War before ye do anything else,” she said. “Find out what he wants. Find out how he feels. That will give ye the direction ye need.”
She was right. William kissed her hand again, glad they’d worked out the problem between them but feeling apprehensive at the situation he was facing with War.
There was nothing he could do but get on with it.
“He’s in Coldstream until the morning,” he said. “I’ll address him when he returns.”
With that, he stood up wearily, feeling as if he’d aged a hundred years in just a few short minutes. He felt old and weary and sad.
Sad for the son he never knew.
“Where are ye going?” Jordan murmured.
He raked his fingers through his hair. “Down to the hall to see to the wounded,” he said. “Will you come with me?”
Jordan stood up from the bench. “Aye,” she said. “We’ll go together. But once ye’ve seen tae yer men, I want ye tae come back tae bed with me. Jemma and Annaleigh can tend tae the wounded tonight.”
He lifted an eyebrow at her. “Come back to bed with you?” he repeated. “I go to bed with you every night.”
She gave him a coy look. “That’s not what I meant.”
He was trying not to chuckle. “The last time you said that to me, we had Penny.”
She fought off a grin. “I’ve said that tae ye many a time and we’ve not had a child every time,” she said. But her smile faded as she looked up at him. “Tonight, I just want ye tae hold me.”
It was a sweet request, one that William was more than willing to honor. With a smile on his lips, he took her hand again, kissed it, and led her from the chamber.
For William and Jordan, tonight belonged to them.