Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
RUBY
I don't know what came over me when I just asked Caleb if he wanted to come over for Valentine's tonight. All I know is I am lonely. It's hard taking care of two kids by yourself most of the time, especially when you know their father is hurting in ways you can never begin to imagine. Sometimes when I want to torture myself, I'll watch that video that was put on social media showing what happened to him. It never fails to make me cry and wonder why he wants to put himself in that danger day in and day out. But I knew who I was marrying when I married him. I just never thought he'd hide things from me and let it drive a wedge between us like this.
Getting to my SUV, I glance back at him. He's still standing there, watching me.
God, he's so hot. Since he left, he's been working out more, same as me. That jawline of his is cut, and I'm wondering what he looks like underneath his clothes. He's always been exceptionally good looking in a brooding sort of way, but the stress of the last few months has left him devastatingly handsome in a good way.
When I get into the SUV, I take a deep breath before pressing my thighs together. I fucking miss him in more ways than one.
My phone rings and I hurry to answer it. "Yeah Vi. I'm on my way, sorry." I rush out quickly.
"No problem, just making sure you got my coffee."
I glance over at my cup holder, seeing both our coffees and the cupcake wrapped up in a pretty box. "Sure did. Got us a cupcake to split too."
"Oh yay, see you soon."
"See you."
And that's one way to try and forget about what your husband bought you for Valentine's Day when you don't want to admit how much it meant to you.
It's 6:55 and I'm nervous, as if this is the first date I've ever been on. I rushed home from work and took a quick body shower, before re-curling my hair and doing a touch up on my makeup. I don't necessarily know what I want from this night, but I do know I want my husband to finally see me as his fucking wife again. I want him to leave here thinking about nothing but me, or the way I smell, or the way my skin feels when it touches his.
I want him hard up for me in ways he hasn't been since we started dating. Maybe that's a little evil, but this is what I am right now. I want to be the one thing he thinks about all the time. The one thing he isn't sure whether he can truly have or not. I want to be his obsession, and the star of every dream.
I went by The Café on the way home and grabbed dinner so that I wouldn't have to mess with it. It's laying there waiting on us, and here I am waiting for him.
That's been the story of our lives for the last few months, but I'm ready to accept I might be waiting on him for longer. Truth is, as long as he's seeking help, I'm okay with it. That's all I ever wanted him to do in the first place. I don't know whether he's going to walk in, since he owns the place or if he's going to knock.
When headlights cut across the living room, and there's a SUV parked in the driveway, I know he's here. "You've got this, Ruby." I give myself a small pep talk. One I know I'm going to need.
In the end, he winds up knocking.
"Hey." I greet him, opening the door wide. "C'mon in."
He's carrying a bouquet, and he's wearing my favorite outfit of his. A pair of worn jeans that are just a couple of wears away from having holes in them, along with a t-shirt that's seen probably one hundred washes. The way those clothes fit him is the hottest thing on the face of this planet.
"You look gorgeous." He whispers as he comes in, handing me the flowers. "That color on you really brings out your eyes."
I tilt my head to the side, a small smile playing across my face. "You don't have to impress me. I already married you."
He laughs. "No, I definitely think I need to impress you. There's a lot to apologize for, and if there's anything I've learned, that takes a lot of impressing. Is that fried chicken I smell?" He sniffs.
"The Café, I didn't cook it. Sorry I didn't have time today."
"Doesn't matter. It's been a while since I had a meal."
Now I wonder how he's taking care of himself. He's never been great at self-care when he's not feeling good, and I know he's not been feeling well in months. "What are you eating, then?"
"Lot of salads, microwave rice, and tuna." He shrugs. "Whatever I can make easily. It's hard to get motivated to cook for one person. At least you have the kids here to help you eat."
I laugh. "They're eating me out of house and home. I can't make enough food for them."
He frowns. "Do I need to put more money in our account? The only reason I separated it is to make sure I have enough money for rent. I don't think that Leigh would kick me out, but I didn't want you to accidentally spend it and be upset."
I hate every single bit of what we're going through. I especially hate this, that we have to have separate finances because we don't know what the other person is spending. Instead of focusing on it, I clear my throat. "How are the new apartments above The Café?"
"Really nice. She's outdone herself. Sometimes she brings up leftover food, but the last couple of weeks with Valentine's Day coming, she's been getting prepared. I didn't realize how much I was counting on that." He runs a hand through his hair.
"You know you can always come here if you just don't want to be alone. The kids would love to see you."
There's a string between us, pulling us together, but at the same time jerking us apart. We're like two magnets facing one another. Wanting desperately to connect, but no matter what we do, we keep pushing each other away.
"Would you ?" He asks, reaching forward, grabbing my hand with his.
The question is so simple, but the answer is completely complicated. Instead of playing hard to get, I give him the answer I know we both want. "I would. I miss you, but me admitting that I miss you isn't going to solve all of our problems, and I think you know that."
"I do." He tucks his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and rocks back on his heels. "But I'm also really excited about this meal." He grins, looking like the young guy I met so long ago.
"Good, it's your favorite."
He rubs at his stomach, that bashful smile becoming bigger. "Can we eat?"
"We sure can."
I've never met a man who loves fried chicken more than Caleb Harrison. I'm almost positive that's why he ended up marrying me, or maybe it was the cupcakes. It's likely I'll never know for sure. My love language for him has always been making sure he's taken care of, which is why I think him not telling me about what happened with the incident hurt more than it should've. Seeing him eat like he is? It warms a place in my chest that's been cold for way too long.
"How are things going at work?" He asks.
This is brave, considering he doesn't want to talk about his job, but I'll give him the info he wants. "Good. Whitney's been taking even more of a step back, so I've been handling more than normal. It's a welcome distraction, though. The kids don't need me as much anymore, and there's only so many hours I can spend at the gym. Everyone else is busy." I shrug, not wanting to freely admit how lonely I actually am. I don't ask him about his job, because I don't want to get into it. Instead, I ask about the obvious workouts he's been doing. "Looks like you've been in the gym, too."
He chews thoughtfully, before taking a bite of cornbread and swallowing. "Yeah. Me, Cutter, Devante, and Sully have been going to Crossfit three times a week. It's not been the easiest thing I've ever done, but it's given me a place to channel all my anger."
This is the first time he's admitted he's angry, but I don't want tonight to turn into another argument. Instead of saying all the things I want to, I bite my tongue. "I'm happy for you." Sighing, I push my plate back. "That's more than I've eaten in months. I have a chocolate cake up there for later." I tilt my head toward the counter, where a cake stand sits covered.
"Not now." He pushes his plate away too. "As it is, I'm gonna have to roll outta here."
"I know it's cold, but do you want to go sit around the fire outside?" It's always been one of my favorite things to do with him.
"I'd love to. We should probably both grab some hoodies though."
"Yeah. We should." I hide my smirk. Glad to know that he's still interested in hanging out with me.