Chapter 31
“Hey. Can I get a beer?”
“Hey, yourself.” I smile, popping the top off a Coors and setting it in front of Beck. “What are you doing here?”
“Came to see you.” He takes a long drag from the bottle, never once looking away. “That okay?”
“Sure.” I prop my hand on the edge of the bar, leaning into him. “I mean, I’m working, so I can’t chat with you all night, but things have been slow since the dinner rush ended.”
“Hey, Pres, can you—” Clayton notices Beck as he returns from the storeroom and lifts his eyebrows when he sees how close we’re talking. “Hey, Cowboy. To what do we owe the honor of your presence on a Monday night?”
Beck flips my brother off, making me chuckle. Clayton told me Beck hates that nickname, and therefore, Clayton being Clayton, uses it as often as possible. “I didn’t realize I was limited to certain days.”
“You’re not.” Clay gives him a knowing smirk. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. Although I suppose I shouldn’t be, all things considered.”
Beckett’s forehead is lined with creases. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Clayton looks around at the other patrons before returning his gaze to Beck. “I think you know exactly what I mean. Although, if you’d like, I’d be more than happy to explain in front of all these people.”
My eyes widen. “Clayton.”
My annoying brother laughs. “Relax, kiddo. I’m just fucking with him. I think it’s great you two are getting along. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll hang out on the other end of the bar so I can pretend I don’t overhear anything that would offend my delicate sensibilities.”
I smirk. “I’m pretty sure you and I have very different definitions of delicate sensibilities.”
Clayton gasps loudly and presses an open palm over his heart, channeling his inner Southern Belle. “Why, Presley Anne, bless your heart. I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about. I am an angel, sent straight from the heavens to do God’s work. I wouldn’t dream of misbehavin’.”
There is nothing ladylike about my snort. “Clayton, you and I both know there aren’t many things you enjoy more than misbehavin’.”
“Don’t you know it,” he says, dropping the act. “It’s what makes life worth livin’.”
Beck and I exchange a loaded glance. I’m sure he’s thinking about our conversation by the pond yesterday, too. I couldn’t stop replaying it in my head all night, and it’s the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning. When Derek’s wife, Melissa, called to discuss filing for divorce, I didn’t feel the dread that I usually feel when thinking about Sebastian. Melissa’s going to prepare the paperwork and let me know when my soon-to-be-ex-husband’s been served. I should probably be nervous about Sebastian’s reaction, but instead, I’m excited that I’ve taken the first step to put the last twelve years behind me.
I can’t keep focusing on things that are out of my control; Sebastian’s temper is one of them. He’s going to do what he’s going to do, and I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I’m going to focus on finding little pockets of joy in my day however I can, and I have a feeling the man before me is going to be a big part of that.
“Yeah... I don’t need to see anyone looking at my baby sister like that, least of all the man who’s practically a brother to me. It’s kind of creepy when you think about how incest-adjacent the whole thing is.” Clayton shudders and inclines his head to the left. “If you need me, I’ll be over there.”
I shake my head. “You’re an idiot, Clayton.”
“Love you too, Pres,” he calls over his shoulder.
Beck smirks. “Don’t let him fool you; he’s happy to have you back. We all are.”
Of course, the moment the words leave his mouth, the one woman who’s definitely not happy I’m back, walks in. When she sees Beck and me, she glares and tugs on the arm of the man behind her, dragging him to a booth in the back.
“Who’s your hot date, Nicky?” Clayton shouts. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?” He laughs when she raises her middle finger in the air without looking back.
Clay walks back over to where I’m standing. “Well, that didn’t take long. I thought she’d give it at least a week before she started spreading those long legs for someone else.”
I whack my brother with a dishtowel. “Clayton, don’t be so crass.”
I watch Beck carefully, seeing if he’s bothered by the fact that the woman he’d seen for two years has moved on so quickly. There are no outward signs, but I don’t know if I can read him as well as I used to.
“You okay?”
Beck lifts his brows. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
I shrug. “It’s okay if you’re not, you know. You spent two years of your life with her.”
He takes another pull from his beer. “Pres, I think you’re overestimating the situation. It wasn’t like that.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Beck swallows. “It means it wasn’t like that.”
“What my good pal here is tryin’ to say,” Clayton offers, “is that he and Nicky never did much talkin’ during the time they spent together. There was no substance behind it. She was just a warm hole to sink his dick into.”
I gasp at the same time beer goes spraying out of Beck’s mouth. “Christ, Clayton. Really? I was trying to be a goddamn gentleman.”
Clay holds up his hands in surrender. “I’m just telling it like it is, buddy.”
I take deep breaths, telling myself to calm down. Obviously, I know Beck had slept with Nicky, likely many, many times. Still, the visual my brother just planted in my head is something I could’ve gone my whole life without. And the worst part is, this town is too small to avoid her altogether, especially if I’m going to be workin’ here. This is the only place in town that serves alcohol. It’s where most people around here go for dates because the next closest option is thirty minutes away. I thought I could do this, but being faced with the drama head-on, I’m not so sure anymore.
I wipe my sweaty palms on the half apron I’m wearing. “I’ll be right back.”
Beck gets up from his stool when I start walking away. “Pres?—”
I hold my hand up. “I’m fine, Beckett. I just need a minute.”
“Thanks a lot, asshole,” I hear Beck mutter behind my back because, of course, he’s following me.
He catches up to me right as I’m pushing through the door to Clayton’s office. I spin around when I hear him lock the door behind us.
“Beckett, I told you I needed a minute. What part of that do you not understand?”
“I told you I’m done giving you space, Presley.”
I park a hand on my hip. “You also told me you’d give me time, which is what I just asked for.”
His jaw tics. “Not when you get that look in your eye like you’re gettin’ ready to run.”
I sigh as I prop my butt against the edge of Clay’s desk. “I’m not running away. I just... needed a minute to think.”
“What happened back there, Pres?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “It’s stupid. I’m being stupid.”
“Hey.” Goose bumps form on my arms when he pulls my hand away from my face. He waits until I look up before speaking again. “I don’t want to hear you say things like that. Now, tell me what happened back there.”
I shrug. “When Clay... what he said... it made me picture things I never wanted to think about. I know I have no right to be bothered by it, but it still leaves a sick feeling in my stomach.”
Beck cringes. “If I could take it all back, so you’d never have to deal with things like this, I would.”
I shake my head. “That’s my point, Beckett. You shouldn’t have to. You had every right to date whoever you wanted. My insecurities are just getting the best of me.”
“Pres.” He places his hands over each side of my jaw and presses his forehead against mine. “You have nothing to be insecure about. You’re all I see. You’re all I’ve ever seen. Nicole, or anyone else for that matter, was a futile attempt to take my mind off of you.”
“Yeah... well... some habits are hard to break.”
Beck pulls back and searches my eyes. “What’d he do to you?”
I avert my eyes. There are so many different ways to answer that question, and none of them are pleasant.
“Maybe this was a mistake, Beckett.”
His entire body stiffens.
“What you and I had was over a long time ago. Maybe trying to recreate that is wishful thinking. I’m a mess, and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get back to the girl I was.”
He puts slight pressure on my jaw, prompting me to look at him. “Listen to me, Presley. What we had is not over. It was?—”
“Beck, I can’t?—”
“Fuck it,” he growls right before slamming his mouth over mine.
I squeal in surprise, which Beck takes advantage of by sliding his tongue into my mouth. The moment that happens, a switch is flipped, lighting me on fire. I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. My memory didn’t do this man’s kissing skills justice. The soft velvety slide of his tongue against mine, the way he pulls back just enough to bite softly on my lower lip before diving back in again. The love and adoration that’s suffused into every lick, every nibble, every groan are all-encompassing. The way his muscular body feels pressed against mine awakens a hunger inside of me that I’ve only known with Beckett. No matter how close we are, it’s never enough. My need for this man is both electrifying and terrifying. How am I supposed to learn how to stand on my own two feet again when my very existence feels dependent upon his?
“Beckett,” I pant. “Stop.”
I’ve been so conditioned to having my pleas denied, the fact that Beck freezes immediately sends another shockwave to my senses. He helps me into an upright position—I hadn’t even realized I was bent backward over the desk—then slowly removes his arms from around my back.
“What’s wrong?”
I touch my fingers to my swollen lips. “What happened to taking it slow?”
His full lips curve into a cocky grin. “You wouldn’t stop trying to think of excuses why this can’t work, so I had to knock some sense into you somehow. It’s the first thing I could think of.”
I shake my head. “That can’t happen again, Beck. I’m not ready. I’m still married. I haven’t even filed for divorce yet. I’m going to... I’ve started the process... but I’m not there yet.”
His face falls. “You’re right; I’m sorry.” I know I should look away as he discreetly adjusts the rather large problem in his pants, but I can’t seem to do so. “But next time you try convincing yourself that this won’t work, think about what just happened. What happened with Nicole and me doesn’t matter. What happened with you and that bastard doesn’t matter. What does matter is that kiss we just shared. It proves that we’re not over, Presley. We were never over. You’re lying to yourself if you think otherwise.”