Chapter 36
Idon’t think I’ve ever felt so homicidal in my life, and considering the shit I’ve seen on missions, that’s saying a lot. I thought I had been exposed to some of the sickest motherfuckers I’d ever known. Men who would use children as suicide bombers against American troops. Men who saw nothing wrong with kidnapping and repeatedly raping a fifteen-year-old girl because her father had screwed them over on a weapons deal. I had zero qualms about their deaths because the world is a better place without them. One thing I will give them credit for is they made no attempt to disguise their true selves. You knew what you were getting yourself into when dealing with them.
But someone like Sebastian Winters—fuck, I can’t even say his name in my head without wanting to hit something—he’s an entirely different breed of evil. He presents a perfectly polished image to the public—the same image that no doubt lured Presley in—but, behind closed doors, he repeatedly tortured a woman he swore to love for over ten fucking years. Those marks on her... fuck. When I saw the SW carved into her back at the curve of her spine, I damn near exploded out of my skin. That motherfucker branded her. It wasn’t enough to destroy her spirit; he had to stamp his name on her like she was fucking cattle. If Presley didn’t need me so badly right now, I’d be on the first plane to New York to hunt that bastard down.
Presley stirs in her sleep, murmuring something too low for me to hear. Christ, why would anyone intentionally hurt this woman? She’s so inherently good and pure of heart, which is hard to find these days. Why would someone want to soil that? I knew Pres went through some shit, but I had no idea it was this bad. After she calmed down earlier, we talked for a while until she got so worn out she needed a nap. She only told me bits and pieces—and I sure as shit wasn’t going to push her for more than she’s ready to give—but the few details I have, prove how resilient she is. Presley thinks that she’s weak, but I think she’s quite possibly the strongest person I’ve ever met. I know she believes there’s nothing left of the girl she used to be, but that’s not true. I can see it, I can feel it, but it’s definitely buried deep.
“Beckett, what are you doing over there?”
I push off the doorframe and take a seat next to her on the bed. “Just thinking.”
She leans into my touch when I softly pet her hair. “What time is it?”
I dig my phone out of my pocket and check the time. “Just after two.”
Her eyes widen. “I slept for five hours?”
My lips turn up on one side. “You clearly needed it.”
Presley frowns. “Why aren’t you workin’ right now? Have you been here the whole time?”
I nod, smoothing the crease between her brows. “Don’t worry about that; I’ve got it covered.”
I called Mr. J after she fell asleep and explained how I didn’t feel right leavin’ Presley today. She said her parents know some details about what she’d gone through, but she didn’t want them to know about her panic attack earlier, so I kept it vague. Her dad’s a sharp guy, though, so I’m sure he could read between the lines. He told me to take care of his baby girl, and he’d make arrangements to cover my work for the day.
“Beckett, I don’t want to get in the way of your job.”
“I said I’ve got it covered, Pres.” When she chews on the corner of her lip, I pull it free from her teeth. “Tell you what. How about you come with me to check out the progress on the arena?”
She sits up, suddenly more alert. “Really?”
“Sure. Why not?”
She swings her feet out of bed and stands.
Fuck me.
Pres wanted something more comfortable to sleep in, so I gave her one of my old tees. Sadly for my dick, I didn’t consider the effect seeing her in my clothes would have on me. She used to always wear my shirts when we were younger, but she was swimming in them, so she’d tie the cotton in a knot, exposing a sliver of her toned abdomen. I used to find every excuse possible to touch that small patch of skin. This time, my shirt’s hanging halfway down her thighs, but somehow, it’s even sexier. I have to avert my eyes when I’m treated to a glimpse of her perfectly sculpted ass cheeks as she bends over to grab her jeans off the floor.
I groan and discreetly adjust the persistent bastard in my pants.
She looks over her shoulder at the sound. “What’s wrong?”
I wink. “Nothin’ at all, honey. Just enjoying the view.”
Presley gifts me with a small smile, and the tightness in my chest loosens just a little. I’m trying to figure out how to approach this whole thing, so I took a gamble on the flirting, which she seems to appreciate. It’s my most natural state with her—always has been—so I’m hoping the familiarity will help soothe her. I’ll make sure she knows I’m here if and when she’s ready to talk, but I’m thinkin’ some sense of normalcy will be good for her.
Presley approaches me and loops her arms behind my neck. I’m still sitting on the bed while she’s standing, so she leans down just a bit to place a kiss on my left cheek. Her hair creates a curtain around us and tickles my cheek as she leans into my ear.
“Thank you, Beckett.”
“For what?” I pull her onto my lap, her legs hanging off the side.
“For being the greatest man I’ve ever known.” She pulls back with a smile. “Please don’t tell my father I said that.”
I laugh. “Your secret’s safe with me, honey. Though, I don’t know how much truth there is behind that statement.”
She trails her index finger along my stubbled jawline and traces the same path with her lips. “It’s my truth.”
I run a hand along her back as she moves down to my neck. “Pres, you keep that up, and we’ll never make it to the arena.”
She sighs dramatically. “Oh, fine. Geez, what’s a girl gotta do around here to get some?”
I laugh, lightly tapping her ass as she stands. “Arena first. If you still want to ravage me after, I’m all yours.”
“Are you?” She tilts her head to the side. “Are we really doing this, Beckett? All my... stuff doesn’t make you want to run for the hills?”
I get off the bed and take her hand. “Darlin’, I’ve been yours since we were five years old. If I’m runnin’ anywhere from this point on, it’d be to you.” I place a kiss on the underside of her wrist. “You set the pace, Pres, however long that takes. I’m just happy going along for the ride.”
She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head over my heart. “Do you really think I’ll get to the point someday where I don’t feel so screwed up?”
“If you stop tryin’ to do this all by yourself, I do.”
Presley tilts her chin up. “When I’m with you—barring that episode this morning—it’s the closest I’ve felt to normal in a long time.”
I give her a crooked smile. “Then I guess you’re stuck with me.”
She chuckles, walking backward out of the bedroom. “C’mon, Cowboy. Let’s go see that arena.”
“Oh, no. Don’t you start that, too.”
Now she’s really laughing. Fuck, she’s beautiful when she does that. “Why not? I think it’s adorable.”
I narrow my eyes. “Honey, adorable is one of the last words I’d want you to use to describe me. Handsome, sexy as fuck, extremely well-endowed—all of those things are golden. Adorable or Cowboy, not so much.”
Presley gives me a sassy wink. “I think I’ll stick with Cowboy because I think it’s adorable.”
“Fucking Clayton,” I grumble, holding the front door open for her.
“Can we take the four-wheeler?” she asks the moment we step outside.
“You sure? It’ll be muddy.”
While it didn’t rain too heavily last night, there’s still a decent amount of standing water, and the forecast is calling for more. We’ve got a few hours if we’re lucky before it starts again.
“Yeah.” She takes the hair tie from her wrist and piles her blonde locks on top of her head. “I have no issue with a little mud. So, unless you’re worried about ruining your outfit”—she makes a twirly motion with her index finger—“then, I say we go for it.”
I laugh. “Okay, wiseass, the quad it is.”
We make the short trek to the machine shed and climb on the ATV. Once we clear the immediate area, I gun it, flying across the pasture. Presley’s musical laughter has me smiling the entire time as we drive along an old path we used to take back in the day. When we get to the arena, I park the quad and kill the engine, waiting for Presley to climb off before I do the same. It feels like someone took a fucking defibrillator to my heart when I get my first glimpse of her.
Presley’s hair is a tangled mess, completely fallen out of the bun, her face and arms are splattered in mud, and her eyes look a little crazed. She looks feral, almost, and for some goddamn reason, I find that incredibly hot.
“What?” Presley looks down at herself. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I give her a leisurely once-over. “Because this whole dumpster fire thing you have goin’ on is making me hard.”
Her eyes widen before she belts out another laugh. “You’re disturbed, Beckett.”
I band an arm behind her back and pull her closer. “No doubt, honey. But I’m still thinkin’ about dirtying you up even more.”
Pres pulls out of my grasp. “Nuh-uh. Arena first, ravage later. Remember?”
“I should really get my priorities in order.”
She shakes her head and gestures to the steel-framed building in front of us. “Are you going to show me this thing, or what?”
I slide the door open and motion for her to go ahead of me. “Ladies first.”
Presley walks inside and surveys the area. “It’s huge! It seems much bigger from the inside.”
“We wanted it to be large enough to accommodate our regular lessons and the therapy program. Your dad went with the whole, go big or go home mentality and doubled the recommended size.”
Presley smiles. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
I grin. “What do you think?”
She turns in a complete circle. “I love it. Do you currently have a lot of people enrolled in lessons?”
“Nah.” I shake my head. “We’re maxed out on boarding, so riding lessons have taken a back seat. I need another trainer, which is easier said than done.”
Presley’s eyes wander around the arena again before coming back to me. “Could I help? I mean... I’d need to get a little more comfortable with the other horses first, but I’d love to start teaching lessons again.”
“Yeah?” I smile, really liking the idea of Presley being in her element like that. Doing something that’ll make her happy.
She nods. “Yeah. I think it’ll be good for me.”
I band my arms around her from behind and rest my chin on her shoulder. “I think so too, Pres.”
Her body relaxes as her back molds to my front. “Are we crazy, Beckett?”
“I’m gonna need you to be a little more specific, darlin’.”
Pres moans when I place a kiss on the spot where her neck meets her shoulder. “For thinking this could work? You and me, I mean. That we can just go back to the way things were with all the other garbage we have surrounding us.”
I turn her around and cup her delicate jaw in my hands. “I don’t want to go back to the way things used to be. I want the person you are now, Pres, and I’d hope you can say the same about me.”
Her eyes bounce back and forth. “I do.”
“Well, then, we’ll figure out the rest as we go, one day at a time.”
“I just feel like everything’s happening so fast.”
“Remember, you set the pace, Pres. If what happened last night was too much too soon... we hit the brakes.”
She gives me a shy smile. “What if I want to step on the gas?”
I couldn’t help the cocky grin that stretches across my face if I tried. “You sure as hell won’t hear me complaining.”
Her lips twitch. “Good to know.”
I grab her hand, telling my dick not to read too much into that. “C’mon, let’s get back before the sky opens up.”
“Hey, Beckett?”
I lift my brows in question. “Yeah?”
Presley squeezes my fingers. “I’m drivin’.”
I laugh. “You think so, huh?”
She reaches into my pocket and snatches the keys. I could stop her if I wanted to, but I don’t.
She holds the keys up and smiles victoriously. “Oh, I know so.”