I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL NIGHT FOR THIS
A candle flickered on the tv stand, giving off hints of orange blossom and pine, but variations of clove and rose. The mixture of many calmed my senses and added to the ambience of the night. I could hear the wooden wick cracking every now and again when things got quiet, but there was a storm heading this way.
My head pressed deeper into the fluffy white sectional wrapping around half of the living room, watching the curtains dance in the breeze. Joey wanted the windows open all the time. She burned sage, so it's her way of clearing out the negative energy. It's calming and renewing all at once.
Every now and again my eyes fluttered shut, but the soft laughter at the end of the couch kept me awake. I look up from the blanket on my lap to find the tattooed footballer talking to Fletcher, and suddenly there are more important things to worry about than rest. Those things are Carter and finally seeing my brother happy.
Joey's hand is captured tightly in Fletchers. In between every other conversation he has with his best friend, he brings Joey's fingers to his lips to plant kisses along her skin. I loved watching their love. It made them oblivious to Carter's wandering eyes when they found me periodically throughout the movie.
I studied how the candlelight flickered off his face. He's too beautiful to be real. The sharpness of his jawline, and how it perfectly transcends to the thickness of his neck. All of the veins. The muscle. The dark brown mole that peeks out of his shirt.
A beautifully broken boy who is too good at hiding his feelings and even better at making others happy. There's something dangerous about a person who deals with the darkest thoughts but brings light to everyone else's life. He's too busy focusing on others than himself.
He opened up to me as a distraction from the nightmares I had. After the refusal to talk about his past, he gave me insight into his childhood. It broke the pieces of my heart I've spent the better half of these so many months healing.
Whenever he looks in my direction, I want to ask what's happening between us. I don't want to be any further away from him than what Joey is to Fletcher. I want to sit beside him on the couch like it's normal and hold hands whenever we want to.
Now that Joey is getting up from the couch and has Fletcher distracted, Carter's eyes meet mine over my knees. A soft smile graced his lips, giving me a sense of warmth the blanket on my body never could.
"I really wish I wasn't hungry."
Carter's eyes rolled, focusing on the red-headed woman making her way into the living room.
Fletcher paused the movie. "Do you want me to make you something?"
"No," she fell back onto the couch. "I just wish I wasn't hungry. That's all."
"Joey," my brother sighed. "Do you want me to make you something to eat?"
Her head moved back and forth. "Not unless you can make good pizza."
"It's too late. I can do something – "
"Order it," Carter interrupted him. "I'll pick it up."
Fletcher's shoulders tipped upward as he contemplated way too long. "I don't see why not."
"Call it in," the tattooed boy stood up. "By the time I get there it should be ready."
"What do we want?"
"Figure it out," Carter grabbed his keys. "Sawyer let's go."
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at him. "What?"
He pointed toward the back door, blinking with disbelief. "We're picking up the pizza."
Joey shot me a toothy grin. "You better get going, Sawyer."
I waited for Fletcher to ask why, but he started dialing the pizza parlor's number, and I didn't hesitate to follow Carter. I tightened my grip on the blanket, keeping it wrapped around my shoulders as I slipped into my shoes.
"Come on, pretty girl," Carter's hand found mine as he dragged me out of the house. "I've been waiting all night for this."
"For what?"
He pressed me against the truck, the rain soaking the material of my blanket. I watched him turn around to look at the house, sending my mind into a spiral of questions.
"What are you doing?"
"I don't want anybody to see me kissing you."
His fingers slid across the base of my jaw as he studied my face. It's as if he's losing his eyesight and he never wants to forget how I looked, so he's trying to memorize everything all at once. But before I could say a word to pull him out of the conversation he was having with himself, his lips pressed to mine, setting every inch of my body on fire.
"I want to kiss you for the rest of my life," he mumbled against me. "I don't know how long that is, but we can start with forever and go from there."
"How are you sure you'll want me around for the rest of your life?"
He pulled away from me. "You still me."
"What?"
"I look at you and nothing else matters. Not my past and how unlovable I feel. Or my status and place in football. I look at you and the noise disappears. The wars find peace and through all of the wreckage I just see you."
"Let me spend my life proving to you how loved you really are."
"It sounds a promise we'll always stick together."
I shifted my eyes back and forth to understand his. "What is this? Us."
"Do you want me to call you my girlfriend, Sawyer?" He brushed a piece of hair behind my ear.
"I want you to want that," I let out a heavy breath. "I don't want to be your girlfriend behind closed doors. I want to be your girlfriend when we're sitting on the couch with my brother and hanging out with everyone. I want it to be clear that I choose you but that you also choose me."
"It's just you," he rested his forehead against mine. "Whatever you want. Just say it and it's done."
"Do we tell Fletcher?"
"I think he's worried about you, and that his protection will cloud his judgement, but I'm sure he'll be okay," his thumb caressed my cheek. "We'll get there, I promise, but for right now, I'd like to kiss you. Especially now since you're mine."
A giggle fell from my lips. "I think I've always been yours, Carter."
"Good," his fingers trailed down the outside of my thighs. "Because I don't share."
A gasp tumbled from my mouth as he hoisted me up. I found myself wrapping him up in my legs to draw him closer. It didn't take him long to open the passenger door, but when he did, he sat me on the seat, and his lips were instantly on mine.
I tried pulling him closer. Too much space existed between us. I wanted him everywhere.
He let out a groan as my fingers disappeared into his tousled waves and tugged at the ends of his hair. I wanted to feel his hands exploring me just like mine were him.
"Are you guys going to get the pizza?"
Carter smirked against my lips. "Yes, Joey."
"Doesn't look like it."
Carter turned around, keeping me shielded behind his back. "We couldn't leave without making sure Sawyer was buckled in and comfortable."
"Oh, really? That's how kids are explaining make out sessions nowadays? Interesting."
Carter's hand rested on my knee, his fingers curling around the bare skin. "I promised to keep her safe, didn't I?"
"By suffocating her? She hasn't told me yet, but I'm sure you're a terrible kisser."
He raised his middle finger. "Fuck off, Joey."
Her laughter followed her back into the house as the tattooed boy twisted to look at me. The rain started getting heavier, and the hair he desperately tried pushing away from his face started to get damp, but it made him look otherworldly. It made my heart stop and race all at once.
"Ready to go, pretty girl?"
I nodded as he tugged the seatbelt over my chest. "Thank you."
He patted my thigh. "It's a thankless job, Ms. Price."