WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR US?
I'm behind the wheel of a stolen car. The night I escaped my father, I barely made it out the door. After spending hours scrubbing the blood away from the steering wheel, I wondered why he never came looking for it. It's not like I ever did much to keep it hidden. I questioned if he had never called the cops because he couldn't admit that he nearly killed his daughter, and she stole his car to escape the abuse.
Life is so much different than before. I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror, unsure of what to expect out of the next thirty minutes of my life. I'm meeting Brian in a conference room at his hotel. He wants to talk about my future with the company, and I'm not sure why he's so willing to take a chance on me when I've got no experience.
There are cars parked everywhere. License plates from different counties and states. They all came here to watch the football games. They're wearing their gear as they roll suitcases toward minivans and hatchbacks. Smiles exist on their faces, and I realize it's not just sports. It's more than that.
Traveling to football games is more than spending money. It's more than cheering in the stands and wearing your favorite player's jersey. It's time spent with loved ones who have common interests. It's an escape from life. It's a chance to scream amongst thousands of fans and let go of the exhaustion and anger you've felt up until the moment your team scores a touchdown.
It's more than sports. It's the reason why I look forward to tomorrow. In the past, I could never predict the future. Now I'm living it, and I'm realizing that this isn't just an opportunity to report about teams winning or losing. It's a chance to give myself everything I swore I wasn't worthy of.
So, I stepped through the revolving glass doors framed in gold. This is what luxury looks like. Grand staircases and marble floors. There's a gold logo behind the front desk, illuminated by warm lighting. All of it says this is a lifestyle I'm capable of creating for myself, and all of that depends on the man sitting at the desk in front of me.
I watch him sift through his paperwork, and before I push through the glass door, I remind myself – I'm the only person standing in my way. When my life comes to an end, I'm not willing to admit that I'm the reason I never got everything I wanted. When someone asks, I want to say I went for it all, and I never let doubt or indecision stop me.
As I stepped into the room, Brian looked up from his papers. "Sawyer! So glad you could make it. How are you today?"
There's something sincere about his question and the way he's smiling at me. It's as if he's truly excited to meet with me.
"I'm great. Thank you, Brian. I appreciate you for making this happen."
He dropped back down to his leather seat, motioning for me to join him across the table. "Look. I'm jumping right in. Coach Ferentz talks so highly of you that I'm not willing to beat around the bush. Truth is, I'm not interested in offering you an internship. I want more for you. Tell me what you're limits are."
"I don't have limits. I have plans. So, what are your plans?"
The smile on his face didn't leave. "This job is demanding. It requires a lot of travelling. You'll be jumping from location to another. So, this is my game plan. I've created a map, hoping you'd be willing to follow it."
He slid a folder toward me. As I flipped it open, the words New York City looked back at me. My lips parted in question, but before I could say a word, Brian spoke up.
"We don't have any local studios. Which is why I'm meeting you in a conference room at a hotel. We're based out of places like Los Angeles, Miami, Seattle, Washington and New York."
"You want me to relocate?"
He rested his fingertips on the paper in front of me. "I want you to do what you think is right for you."
"I have nothing in New York."
"Which is why we pay for your living costs until you're settled in."
I felt the crease between my eyebrows deepening. "If I'm supposed to travel, why am I being stationed in New York?"
"There's more woman reporting in sports today than there ever has been. Unfortunately, very few of them are in New York. Which means higher pay and better opportunities."
"How long until you need an answer?"
"Within the next month," he settled back in his chair. "I'll be here for different events throughout that time. So, if you ever have any questions, please, reach out to me."
My head moved back and forth in confusion. "You're guaranteeing me a job without knowing my capabilities?"
"I've heard many great things beyond the head coach of your university. I don't care how much experience you have. I'm not looking for that. I'm looking for someone with passion, someone who is just as excited to be out there reporting as the players are being a part of the game," he crossed his arms. "You know what you want, and I know how to give it to you, Sawyer. All you have to do is say yes."
"Thank you," I pushed back from my chair. "This is an amazing opportunity, and I'm extremely grateful. I'll get back to you before the end of the month."
He stood to shake my hand. "It's been a pleasure, Sawyer. I look forward to hearing from you."
On my way out the door, I felt lost. The folder in my hand felt extremely heavy, and with every step, I almost couldn't bear the weight. I'm not sure how far I'm willing to go. This is a massive risk. What if nothing works out?
I drove through the city, contemplating what I'd say when I pulled into the driveway. As I parked next to the truck beside me, I realized Carter didn't even know about my internship. Well, not much of an internship anymore.
I stayed up, waiting for him to make it home last night, and I fell asleep staring at the door. Now I'm lost, without knowing what to say when I see him.
With the folder tucked beneath my arm, I walked through the back door to find everyone standing around the kitchen. Carter's eyes lifted from the counter, confusion lacing his features as he studied me from across the room.
Joey came around the corner, squealing with excitement. "Girl! How'd it go?"
I sucked in a deep breath, mustering a fake smile. "Great! It was amazing."
"I knew it! He loved you, didn't he?" The red-headed girl couldn't contain her happiness. "How could he not?"
"He offered me a position."
I watched Carter study me from the corner of my eye. Joey looked shocked as she pulled pizza from the container on the counter.
"Shut up! Not even an internship. I thought – "
"I thought the same thing, but he wants me to work for them."
"Not my girl working for ESPN!"
Carter's body went rigid. "ESPN, huh?"
"Yeah – "
"So, you're leaving?"
Joey looked at me with confusion. "Leaving?"
"There's no local studios," Carter shoved away from the kitchen island. "The closest one is New York."
He tossed his plate into the sink. The sound echoed through the kitchen as the glass collided with other dishes. Dread filled my body. Of course, he would know that.
"Carter." He continued his way up the stairs as I followed after him. "I didn't commit to anything – "
"You should."
He turned to me. I couldn't see anything beyond the wall he constructed to conceal his emotions.
"What?"
"I'm declaring for the draft, so who knows where I'll go? It was kind of inevitable anyway."
"Carter – "
"Were you going to tell me?"
I felt the discomfort bubbling in my stomach. "I stayed up all night, waiting for you to come home! I made the phone call yesterday, and I wanted to tell you, but you never showed up."
"I was busy."
"Then don't fault me for not telling you when I never got the chance to."
"I'm sorry," he let out a heavy breath. "I really am happy for you, Sawyer."
I tried stopping the tears from forming as he wrapped his arms around me. "I don't know what to do."
He placed a kiss on the base of my neck. "Choose you, Sawyer. Every chance you get, choose you."
"When were you gonna tell me you were entering the draft?"
I felt the gust of air falling from his mouth as it fanned across my skin. "I talked with Coach last night. He thinks I'm holding myself back if I stay another year."
"What does that mean for us?"
He went still as his whisper filled the air. "I don't know."