34. Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Four
Carys
I drink my coffee and pour a second one while Finn gives Thomas the barest, most essential details of what’s been happening over the last year and a bit. He listens to the story with an impassive face and calculating eyes. I can’t tell with any certainty whether he’ll welcome Lorcan and Kim into the house or he’ll shoot us dead.
Finn finishes, and Thomas takes another sip of his coffee before sliding his cup onto the wooden table between us. “They turned him.”
“Toward the PLA, yes,” Finn corrects.
“But if they told him to come after me, for example, he would do it.” Thomas scratches his stubbled chin.
“Doesn’t work like that.” I set down my drink too. “Since he’s dead, he could only be slotted into positions where he wouldn’t be recognized.”
He pins me with his gaze. “You want me to believe he wouldn’t come after me if they told him to? I’m not na?ve, Carys. Once you sell your soul, you’ve got no control over what it’s forced to do. Such is the bargain you strike.”
I school my face to hide my annoyance. He has a bit of a dramatic flair like Finn. Makes sense they’d like each other.
“You’re worried my brother will use this opportunity to amass intel on you and your family?” Finn asks.
“You’d be suspicious too. Murderous, probably.” He gives a wry smile. “Just because it suits you now, let’s not pretend.”
“It’s true.” Finn leans forward to fill a cup with coffee. “I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to take the risk I’m asking you to assume.”
He chuckles and then scoffs. “Brave. Stupid. Sometimes with you those are interchangeable.”
He smirks and draws the mug of coffee to his lips. “Flattery usually gets me farther with you. I’ve got no problems calling you stupid if you want.”
With a shake of his head, he stares from me to Finn and back to me again. “As the one not involved in some seriously dirty dealings, what’s your gut instinct on Lorcan and Kim?”
I half expect Finn to tell Thomas my gut instincts are always wrong. Finn isn’t going to contradict me—we’re on the same team. Thomas wants to help us; he needs a little shove in the right direction. No one wants to believe they’re stupid, even if it’s dressed up as brave. “I’ve spent the last two weeks with Lorcan and Kim. They’re very focused on taking down the PLA and keeping everyone on track. The CIA didn’t want us to reveal their position to you, but we all believe you can be trusted.”
The golden ticket. Trust. If he doesn’t want to be called brave or stupid, everyone in this business likes to be trusted, even when they shouldn’t be.
A hint of a smile tugs at Thomas’s mouth. “Do you trust them?”
Not in every way. Kim’s deception altered our friendship forever, but I trust them in every way that counts for this situation. “I do.”
He releases a deep breath and taps his fingers on the arm of the chair. “My gut is telling me I can trust Lorcan. Kim? I don’t know her, but if Lorcan ripped his life up and threw it away for her, she’s got a powerful hold on him.”
Finn catches my eye and tips his head. What’s he want me to say to that? It’s true. He tossed away his life for her. “You know.” I sense my way through a response since Finn has confidence I can win Thomas over. “When people love each other deeply, the influence goes both ways. Each will do whatever they can to avoid hurting the other. Kim won’t want to disappoint Lorcan any more than Lorcan will want to disappoint Kim.”
Wasn’t that the way I also felt about Finn? He might love me with desperate intensity, but I loved him back just as hard. Kim and Lorcan took massive risks with and for each other to become undercover agents together. The trust has to be mutual.
“Very well.” Thomas gives a decisive nod. “I like your logic. I’ll see him in private before anyone is welcomed into the house. The family will need guarantees only he can deliver. As much as Kim might be Lorcan’s leash, while you’re in this house, he’s hers.” He waves a dismissive hand. “Send him to me alone and unarmed. If he returns to you, we’ve struck a deal.” He ignores me to focus on Finn. “Trust goes both ways.”
He drains his coffee and sets the cup on the table in front of us. He rises and offers his hand to Thomas, but he refuses to take it.
“We shake when I know we’re square. Until I’m sure of your brother, no deal has been done.”
Thomas makes us leave our weapons at the front door when we exit. Another test to see how much we want his help. Will we abandon the few weapons we have? Finn’s jaw is tight when he realizes Thomas’s intention.
We’re through the gate and walking back to the SUV, and Finn’s posture is still strung tight.
“Lorcan can convince him. He’s going to say yes.” He might not like Thomas’s tactics, but surely he can appreciate them.
“All these head games,” Finn grumbles. “I’ve known the guy for years.”
“Which is exactly why he’s playing them. He knows you, and he knows your brother. For you to leave without your weapon, for Lorcan to see him unguarded and unarmed—those are huge markers of trust.”
He loops an arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple, dragging me closer to him as we walk. “I want to solve this PLA puzzle quickly, pin them, show them they can’t fuck with our lives without consequence. At the same time, I want to drag this out, steal every moment. ’Cause when this is over, I go back to prison, and you go back to Cape Verde.”
“Three years isn’t forever.” I gaze up at his frustrated expression.
We’re approaching the SUV, and he brushes his lips across the top of my head. “The more time I get with you, the more I want. Nothing is ever gonna be enough.”
My stomach drops to my toes at his words. No matter how often he gives me a peek into how much he loves me, no matter how deep in my bones his love is secured, hearing him say something like that—so gruff, so true, never gets old. We only get this lifetime together, and sometimes I wonder whether I’ll be on my deathbed begging for more.
“Well,” Lorcan calls out the window. “He didn’t put a bullet in your head, so it couldn’t have gone too badly.”
Finn chuckles. “Still might put a bullet in yours, brother. He wants to see you.”