Chapter 3
Olivia, Viscountess Armstrong was enjoying a cup of tea with her dearest friend, Bettina, Lady Williams. She’d met Bett two years ago when she and her husband, Baron Williams, came to Armstrong Manor to pay their respects when Olivia’s husband passed away. Even though their estates were near each other, she and Lady Williams had only had a nodding acquaintance before then. Armstrong had never allowed Olivia to develop any friendships of her own. He’d controlled her every move, the people she could talk with, what she wore, and where she could go. Meeting Bettina had been like a breath of fresh air. She was a few years older than Olivia, and the two women had hit it off immediately, spending many enjoyable hours together.
Bettina was a ray of sunshine for Olivia. She’d helped her tremendously in putting the trauma of her cruel marriage mostly behind her, although nothing could fully erase those two years of hell that left her with so much doubt about her own worth.
When Bettina had lost her husband in a hunting accident a year after Armstrong’s death, Olivia had been there to comfort her, even though their situations couldn’t have been more wildly different. Bettina had loved her husband dearly, while Olivia despised Armstrong with every fiber of her being. The things he’d done to her would haunt her forever. She wasn’t a cruel person, but she was glad Armstrong was dead.
“It’s time you reentered Society, my dear. You’ve been shut away in this house long enough,” Bettina said with no preamble.
“What?”
“You heard me. You’ve been alone here for far too long. It’s time to get out again.”
“I could say the same about you, Bett. It’s been over a year since Stephen died.”
“I know, and I’m ready to change that. I feel like I’m finally ready to meet someone new.”
Olivia frowned. “I don’t want to meet anyone new. I’m perfectly happy and content to live out my days on the estate.”
“Nonsense. You’re only two and twenty. Surely such an existence can’t be all you desire for your life. What about love and the possibility of children?”
“Sadly, I don’t think I’ll be able to experience that joy. I never became pregnant with Armstrong. Perhaps I’m barren and cannot have children.”
“You might be able to have them if you find another husband, a man you adore. The fault could have been with the viscount, not you. His first wife never gave him a child either, which strongly supports my theory.”
“I hadn’t thought about that,” Olivia said, sipping her tea.
“I was with child when Stephen died, and I believe it was the shock and trauma of his death that caused me to lose the child a few weeks later.”
Olivia squeezed her friend’s hand. “Oh, Bett. I wish I’d known. I’m so sorry you had to endure that all alone. I would have come immediately if you’d asked me.”
“It was the early days of the pregnancy, and I’d only told Stephen the wonderful news that very morning. We were so happy… until we weren’t.”
“What a horrible ordeal. You should have told me.”
“I couldn’t bear to think about it. The loss was too great. I thought I’d at least have a small piece of Stephen to cherish after he was gone, but even that was taken away from me. I couldn’t face anyone and spent weeks in my bed, unable to rouse myself enough to get up. Thank goodness for my maid, Lydia. She was a lifesaver and made sure I was taken care of. With her silent support, I never felt guilty for spending the time I needed to grieve.”
“I’m so very sorry that happened to you. How have things been since Stephen’s brother inherited the estate?”
“Peter is a wonderful man and has been very understanding and good to me. His wife is a lovely young woman, but I feel like it’s time for me to move on. The new baroness should be free to run the household as she prefers without me underfoot. Not so different from your own situation, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about it. What happens when the new viscount finally decides to come here? He may be married, and I’m sure his wife wouldn’t be too happy about a beautiful young widow living in the main house.”
“I’ll move to the dower house.”
“Hmm…that’s not the point, Liv, and you know it.”
“Why are you so intent on marrying me off? I like it here. I get to do what I want when I want, and no one can order me to do anything I’d rather not. I get to garden if I like and ride around the estate to my heart’s content. I enjoy my independence and don’t want to be under another man’s thumb ever again. I’m not sure I could ever trust another man.”
“My dearest, I understand from what you have confided in me that you endured a horrendous marriage with the late viscount, but not all men are cruel. My dear Stephen was a wonderful and honorable gentleman, and I’d give anything to have one more day with him. You could find someone as wonderful as he was and fall in love,” Bett said.
“I’m not willing to risk my independence, and I vowed I’d never be put in a situation like that again.” Olivia pushed down the horrible memories that threatened her long-sought-after peace whenever Armstrong’s name was mentioned. She reminded herself that her husband was dead and could never hurt her again. She was safe. It was what she repeated to herself over and over.
“That was your father’s doing. He chose Armstrong for you, but for the life of me, I cannot fathom why he’d choose someone old enough to be your grandfather.”
“Money.”
“Money?”
“Yes, my father thought his bank account was more important than his daughter’s happiness. Though I didn’t see the marriage contract, I did eventually find out that Armstrong paid my father’s debts, plus a very healthy amount every quarter in addition for the chance to own me. My father couldn’t resist such an offer, even though I begged him to reconsider and allow me a Season to find a suitable husband. He wouldn’t listen and told me I would do as he ordered. I had no choice. Being married to Armstrong was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Who told you about the details of the marriage contract? Did your mother fight for you?” Bett asked.
“My poor mother was afraid of her own shadow and would never argue with my father. His word was law. It was actually the solicitor who informed me about the settlement when Armstrong’s will was read. The only thing my father did for me was to make sure I had an extremely generous widow’s portion. All the property was entailed, so I didn’t receive any property to call my own except I was given lifetime access to the dower house.”
“You poor thing. Would you like to unburden yourself about it? I’m a very good listener.”
Olivia shook her head. She had told Bett some of the details of her horrible marriage, but some things were just too painful to share. “No. Thank you for your concern, but I never want to think about Armstrong again.”
“Have you seen your parents since your husband died?”
“No. Evidently, I’m not worth my father’s time or effort anymore, especially since he won’t be receiving any more payments from Armstrong. Now that the viscount is dead, there’s no more money. I don’t ever want to see my father again, especially since he has no more sway over my future.”
“And your mother?”
“When Armstrong passed, I received one letter from her, apologizing for everything my father had done. She told me she begged him to reconsider but he refused. She evidently had help getting that letter to me because she said I shouldn’t write back to her and I haven’t received any more letters.”
“That doesn’t sound good. Was your father cruel to your mother?”
“When I was young, I remember seeing bruises on her arms, and she rarely wore short sleeves, even in the summer. I can only suspect it was to hide any marks my father left. My father insisted the house always needed to be quiet, and she walked around on eggshells most of the time, trying to keep me out of my father’s way. As I got older, I noticed she spent a lot of time in her suite of rooms and didn’t come out for days. She could have been hiding more horrendous bruises and injuries, but I don’t know that for sure because I wasn’t allowed to visit her. I regret not sneaking into her room to at least comfort her, but then, it might have made things worse if I had seen what my father had done to her.”
“Your poor mother. Perhaps you’re not the only one who’s had to endure a harsh marriage.”
“I’m sure you’re correct. I miss my mother and would really like to see her again, but I don’t want to cause any more problems for her with my father. She’s been through enough.”
“Do you think your father would punish her for seeing you?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to risk it. The one thing I do know is that I don’t think I can forgive my father for choosing money over my happiness.”
“Unfortunately, money can be quite an incentive for some people to do things they might not normally do.”
“My father definitely falls into that group on top of being a harsh man.”
“Does your mother ever leave the estate? Perhaps you could meet her somewhere.”
Olivia shook her head. “My father keeps her on a tight leash, barely letting her out of his sight. I would never want to do anything to put her in harm’s way, so I stayed away. My mother’s maid must have helped mail the letter, but I don’t trust any of the other servants to keep a meeting between us secret. I understand their loyalty has to be to the man who pays their salary, but I’m sure they know what’s happening in that house.”
“I can’t imagine not being able to see my mother and sisters. They were a great comfort to me when Stephen passed away, especially my sister, Georgina. We’ve always been close, and her letters were very much appreciated..”
“It’s been difficult not seeing my mother, but that’s my lot in life. At least now, I’m free to do as I please, and I want to keep it that way.”
“How about I propose something new?” Bett asked.
“Oh? And what may that be? If it’s to accompany me to see my mother, I will decline. I think that would just cause trouble.”
“No, nothing like that. I’ve received an invitation to attend a house party at Lord Fleming’s country estate in Guilford. Stephen and Lord Fleming were friendly, and he’s a kind gentleman. Lady Fleming is quite lovely as well, and I think you’d like her. I’d very much like to go and for you to attend with me. It’ll be fun knowing I have a friend nearby, even though I do know the Flemings.”
“Bett, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not fit for company these days.” She didn’t want to tell her friend about the nagging doubts she had about her worthiness. Armstrong had verbally abused her to the point that some days, she was afraid of her own shadow. It was hard to overcome such criticism.
“That’s only because you haven’t socialized much for the past two years. Surely a house party can’t be that terrifying. It’s not like we’re going to London for the Season.”
“Oh, heaven forbid. That’s the last place I wish to go, especially since every fortune hunter in Town would most likely be after my money.” It was easier for her to convince herself that this was the real reason she didn’t want to go to London. What man would want a woman who couldn’t have a child? Two years of marriage and not one pregnancy had convinced her she was barren, no matter what Bett thought.
“Oh, heaven forbid. That’s the last place I wish to go.” What man would want a woman who couldn’t have a child? Two years of marriage and not one pregnancy had convinced her she was barren, no matter what Bett thought.
“That’s so true. The ton can be cruel. Navigating the marriage mart isn’t for the faint of heart,” Bett said.
“I’m not looking for a husband,” Olivia said.
“Not at this moment, but people change. Who knows? You could meet someone who sweeps you off your feet. You’re a beautiful young woman who should enjoy life to the fullest, not hide away in the country. You deserve every happiness life has to offer.”
Olivia sipped her tea, giving herself a moment to think of a good reason why she shouldn’t attend the house party. Except there really wasn’t a good reason besides her fear of being unworthy.
Maybe she could go and enjoy herself a little without any commitments. Didn’t mean she had to marry anyone. Being by herself for the past two years had changed her. Although she was no longer the timid eighteen-year-old forced to marry Armstrong, her self-confidence had taken a huge hit and was practically non-existent these days. It was safer to be alone, although she’d never admit, not even to Bett, that she was lonely out here with only the servants and tenants for company.
“Come on, Liv, it’ll be fun. Please say you’ll come with me. I do so want to go.”
How could she disappoint her friend, who’d always stood by her? “Oh, all right. I guess a house party could be rather fun.”
“Excellent. I’m so pleased. We leave in two days.”
For the next hour, the two women talked about a number of things, and Olivia told Bett the latest updates regarding her tenants. Quite a few babies had been born so far this year, and she always enjoyed visiting them. She worked well with the steward, and between the two of them, they kept the estate running efficiently and the tenants happy. The new Viscount Armstrong preferred to live in London and had no issues with Olivia living in the main house. That would all change when he decided to marry. She would definitely need to move to the dower house by then, especially if his new viscountess preferred country living to residing in London.
All the while they talked, Olivia was thinking she’d made a terrible mistake by agreeing to attend the Fleming house party.