Chapter 13
Olivia felt the heat climb up her neck. She was so embarrassed about her reaction. What was wrong with her? She’d been thoroughly enjoying Everett’s kisses until…
Would she always be afraid of a man’s touch? She didn’t want to be, but two years of abuse at the hands of her late husband was a lot to overcome. Taking a deep breath, she vowed to be brave from now on. No one was going to hurt her, and she had to believe that.
“My lord, there’s no need for you to apologize. It’s I who—”
Everett gently took her hand. “Olivia, there’s no need to explain. You’re safe with me. I’d never do anything that you don’t want. All you need to do is tell me to stop, and I will. That I promise you.”
“Thank you, my lor… I mean, Everett.”
He led her back to the bench. “Would you like to talk about it?”
When she looked into his eyes, she had the overwhelming sense that he would understand. She took a deep breath and began. “It’s not a pleasant tale. Are you sure you wish to hear it?”
“Yes, whatever you feel comfortable telling me, I’m here to listen.”
“My marriage was not a pleasant one, I’m afraid.”
“My dear Olivia, did your husband hurt you?”
All she could do was nod as the tears began to stream down her cheeks. She hadn’t meant to cry, but this was the first time she’d ever tried to explain the hell she’d suffered at the hands of the late viscount to anyone besides Bett. It was overwhelming, to say the least.
Robertson pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. “It’s okay, my sweet Olivia. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise you.”
It took long minutes for her to gather her composure once again. “You see—”
He placed his finger on her lips. “Shhh…there’s no need for you to think about that anymore. Even without knowing the specific details, I understand the hell some men make for their wives. Don’t trouble yourself by trying to speak about it anymore.”
She sat up and swiped the wetness from her cheeks. “I would like to share a little of what happened if you’d like to hear it?”
“I will if you’re comfortable talking about it,” he said.
“I am. As you can imagine, I knew nothing of the marriage bed when I wed Armstrong. When he brutally assaulted me on our wedding night, I had no idea that this was how marital relations were supposed to be.”
Everett squeezed her hand but did not want to interrupt her story.
“I think the worst part was when he brought a riding crop to the bedroom.”
“Dear god. Olivia, I’m so sorry you had to endure that. That man was pure evil.”
“Thank you, Everett. That means the world to me. I’ve never really talked about it before.”
“And you do not need to talk about it anymore. It’s in the past, and whatever happened to you shall not happen again.”
“No, it will not,” she said with steel in her voice. “I’m older and wiser now, and no one will ever tell me what to do or force me to do something I don’t want to do.”
“As it should be.”
“Thank you for understanding, Everett. It means everything to me.”
“My pleasure, my lady. Are you ready to head back? I, for one, am starving. Nothing like a good gallop early in the morning to stimulate the appetite,” he said with a chuckle.
Olivia smiled, and her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly. “I think that’s an excellent suggestion.” She was relieved that Everett had understood the horror she had suffered and that he had not asked her for any details beyond what she was willing to give.
They walked over to the horses. “I’m going to put my hands on your waist to help you into the saddle. May I have your permission?” Robertson asked.
She nodded and instantly felt the heat where his hands touched her through the fabric of her riding habit. It was a heady feeling, and she realized that she did crave a man’s touch after all.
Everett’s touch.
Now it was just a matter of the right time and the right place for her to explore that idea more thoroughly. Surprisingly, the thought of being close to him did not frighten her as much.
They raced back to the barn, and the groom came out to take the horses while Everett lifted Olivia off Clara.
“A good rub-down and lots of oats for these two,” he said. “They did well today.”
“Yes, my lord,” the groom said, leading the horses into the barn.
Everett held out his arm. “Shall we, my lady?”
“Absolutely,” Olivia said, slipping her hand into the crook of his elbow.
There was no more talking as Robertson walked with her into the foyer. It was still early, and none of the other guests had come downstairs for breakfast as of yet. “Lady Armstrong, I hope to see you later in the dining room.”
“Indeed. Thank you for a lovely ride this morning. Perhaps…” Could she be brave and suggest another outing with the handsome earl?
“Perhaps?”
“Yes, well, I would very much like to go riding again tomorrow. That is, of course, if you’d like that.”
Robertson nodded. “I would like that very much,” he said, bringing her hand to his lips for a light kiss. Olivia was a special lady indeed, and he felt a tiny crack open in his icy heart.
“I’ll see you later,” Olivia said with a brilliant smile before walking up the staircase. When she reached her bedchamber, Emma was waiting for her.
“My lady, how was your ride?”
“It was quite exhilarating.”
“Your bath is nearly ready. I brought you a pot of tea if you’d like a cup while I finish up.”
“Thank you, Emma. I’d definitely like a cup of tea.”
Olivia poured herself a cup and sat in the chair by the fireplace. There was a lot to think about. She needed to let go of her doubt that was she a desirable woman. Everett evidently thought she was, based on his actions down by the river. His touch had ignited something in her that frightened her for an entirely different reason. She’d felt desire for the first time in her life, and once again, she’d panicked. How long would Everett continue to pursue her if she didn’t show him that she very much wanted to be in his company?
She didn’t know what activities were planned for today, but she’d take every opportunity to show Everett that she did desire his company. With her mind made up, she put her cup down and began to undress.
“My lady, let me help you with that,” Emma said. “Are you well? You have such a frown on your face.”
Olivia smoothed her expression. “I’m well—merely thinking about something I need to do. Thank you for asking.”
“Of course. You must know by now I only want the best for you.”
“You’re very kind, and I appreciate your loyal service. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Emma smiled and helped her out of her riding habit.
“I don’t want to linger too long in the bath today,” Olivia said.
“Not a problem. We can wash your hair the next time.”
Olivia nodded and stepped into the bath, sinking down in the warm water. “Ahhh…this is delightful.”
“My lady, I’ll return in a few moments. Enjoy your bath.”
After a relaxing bath, Emma helped Olivia dress for the day and arranged her hair in a low chignon. “There you go, my lady. As beautiful as ever.”
“Thank you, Emma. I’ll see you later.”
She tried to walk sedately down the stairs, but truth be told, she wanted to rush so as not to miss a single moment with Everett. She needed to fix her earlier blunder of pulling away from him, and she needed to fix it sooner rather than later.
She hurried her steps, anxious to see Lord Robertson. She was unprepared for what she saw when she walked into the dining room. He wore a brilliant smile, but it wasn’t aimed at her. Cold dread seeped into her bones.
“Good morning, Lord Robertson,” came a breathless voice from behind him as Robertson piled his plate with eggs, bacon, and toast.
His lips turned up in a wide smile as he turned, expecting to greet Olivia, but it wasn’t Olivia. It was Miss Bartlett who’d greeted him. Why she was breathless, he had no idea. He smoothed his face and gave her a nod. “Miss Bartlett, good morning.”
“Lord Fleming said there would be a game of bowls later this morning.”
Everett didn’t like the direction this conversation was going, especially since he hadn’t had a chance to talk to Olivia about how they could spend the day together. He wanted Olivia as his partner for whatever activities were planned for the day. “Is that so?”
“Indeed. I’d very much like to partner with you if you’d be agreeable to that. My brothers tell me I’m an excellent player.”
All of a sudden, Everett’s cravat seemed much too tight, and he resisted the urge to tug at it. He didn’t want to partner with Miss Bartlett, but he certainly didn’t want to insult the young lady either. That wasn’t his style, and there were too many in the dining room who’d heard her request for him to refuse her without appearing churlish. The ton may call him the Earl of Ice, but he would never be intentionally rude to a young woman, so he felt he had no choice in the matter. “I’d be delighted, Miss Bartlett.”
The young woman’s blue eyes lit up with happiness. Now what had he done? She looked far too pleased. He didn’t want to encourage her in any way, especially after the way she’d clung to him during their boat ride on the lake. Not wanting to repeat that scenario, he’d avoided her since and would continue in his usual aloof demeanor while playing the game of bowls. He hoped she and her mother would realize sooner rather than later that he wasn’t interested in her.
There was only one woman he wanted to spend time with.
Olivia. The most appealing and intriguing woman he’d ever met.
Miss Bartlett couldn’t contain her enthusiasm and squeezed his arm. “Oh, thank you, Lord Robertson. I shall endeavor to play my best game yet.”
Everett stiffened. He wasn’t used to people touching him and thought it quite forward of Miss Bartlett to do so. She must have noticed his reaction because she quickly let go of his arm, but not before he looked over to see Olivia standing in the doorway.
Oh, no! This was a bloody disaster. How much had she seen or heard?
He saw Olivia’s eyes widen when she saw him with Miss Bartlett and was afraid she’d get the incorrect idea that he was now interested in the young woman. Nothing could be further from the truth, but the hurt in Olivia’s eyes told him she’d already misinterpreted the scene.
“Good morning, Lady Armstrong,” he said with a smile, stepping around Miss Bartlett to be closer to Olivia.
What was going on with him? He’d never craved a woman’s attention before like he did Olivia’s, and he hoped this interaction with Miss Bartlett had not ruined things.